Velvet D Coolette Posted August 5, 2008 Report Share Posted August 5, 2008 Good morning/afternoon gentlemen, I have a question about your experience of the missionary position. When, during the act, you put your arms around a woman's shoulders and grip her, are you cuddling her or is that just a convenient position to brace yourself against the bed/floor? I'm writing a story in which a couple are having sex but the female's feeling rather unloved. The male doesn't really care about her and is using her for sex, so, as my own partner - who is very loving and affectionate - sometimes puts his arms around me during missionary, I wonder if you can let me know whether that's simply for position or to offer affection? Either way, the female will be scraping the few little crumbs of affection - real or imagined - such as that cuddle simply to stay sane in the relationship. Thanks in advance! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
foeofthelance Posted August 5, 2008 Report Share Posted August 5, 2008 Both? On one hand, it does help with the angle of penetration, and the other it does provide a sense of closeness. It depends more on what the guy is doing while he holds her. If he's just sort of gripping her to him its less making love and more fucking. If he's nuzzling her, nipping at her ears, teasing her neck, etc. its more a matter of affection and involvement, because he's doing every thing he can to please her. Does that make sense? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Velvet D Coolette Posted August 5, 2008 Author Report Share Posted August 5, 2008 Yes, very much! Thank you, Solaris! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
foeofthelance Posted August 5, 2008 Report Share Posted August 5, 2008 Ummm.... I'm not Solaris... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Zanthious Posted August 5, 2008 Report Share Posted August 5, 2008 For me in a situation like you're talking about, I'd probably do something to the effect of him using one hand to pin her arms to the bed, holding them by the wrists. And using the other to grope her breasts. This allows the use of the position, but allows the male to not only avoid intimacy and affection, but to also show some form of dominance and coldness. If I used it in a story, I'd probably state that his knees are a little wider apart, and he's supporting his weight nearly entirely on them. Hope that helps Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
foeofthelance Posted August 5, 2008 Report Share Posted August 5, 2008 That really depends on the girl in question, really. I know several who would not only actually enjoy that, but would take it as a sign that the guy was trying to show them a good time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Zanthious Posted August 5, 2008 Report Share Posted August 5, 2008 Hmmmm....Point taken, I hadn't allowed for the "freaky" factor.... Well, He could always just do the legs on the shoulders thing, that's pretty much a varience of missionary right? And it rules out closeness, and tenderness. But, I've found alot of women that enjoy that position too.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
foeofthelance Posted August 5, 2008 Report Share Posted August 5, 2008 Heh, its not even a "freaky" thing as far as I can tell. One of the key factors when trying to determine the emotional impact of sex is the enjoyment of both parties. The majority of the people I've talked with have said that they enjoy it more when the other person is enjoying themselves as well. So for the guy to be taking some active level of participation with the girl is a good sign to both of them. Whether that's being intimimate or domineering or what, it doesn't really matter, as long as he's showing that he's interested in her and the proceedings both. Its also one of the reasons why talking dirty is so much fun for some people, is because it involves both parties. If the guy is really not interested, and is just trying to get off, then what he'd probably do is finger her just long enough to make sure she's kind of wet, stick it in, blow his load, and climb off. Wham, bam, not even a "Thank you ma'am." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Zanthious Posted August 5, 2008 Report Share Posted August 5, 2008 Makes sense. And missionary is pretty much perfect for that. You don't realy even have to touch her, starting pounding, and prop yourself up with your hands. Cold blooded! I imagine it would even be a bit demoralizing to the woman to be treated like that, in most cases that is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Velvet D Coolette Posted August 6, 2008 Author Report Share Posted August 6, 2008 Ummm....I'm not Solaris... *headdesk* I'm sorry foeofthelance. For some reason I've mentally linked your dragon avatar with the name Solaris. I keep getting you two mixed up. Sorry 'lance. Sorry Solaris. Sorry everyone. That really depends on the girl in question, really. I know several who would not only actually enjoy that, but would take it as a sign that the guy was trying to show them a good time. 2nded. WOOF! And thanks, Zanthious - I hadn't thought of the propped-up-on-hands thing. I could use that. But yes, he's literally just treating her as a hole, so no warmth. Perfect. Thank you, gentlemen! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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