Review responses for "Whoops" [The Loud House]

[GeorgeGlass]

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From Saint_Wanker_Kris on October 15, 2016

And finally, it drops...

So, they're aware. Just in overdrive, their impulses so strong that they don't care about the consequences of what they're about to do, they just want to appeace the drive.

 

Yup. They are still rational, at least to the extent that it helps them to get what they need.

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And, poor Lincoln... he's currently pumped to the brims with drugs and natural chemicals, and while what he's doing is probably going to make him feel guilty for a few minutes, I guess the pleasure is going to make it all better... for a while at least.

Oh yes, there's plenty of both pleasure and guilt to go around.

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I'm also wondering if Lisa's going to take into consideration chaffing, Lincoln is going to severely damage his skin with so much action... is she going to counteract such a thing with a cream? humectant? Salve? Something that not only manages to alleviate the slight burn of overused skin, but also repair and obviously enhance the pleasure of those that might or not be too... tight for such activities?

These issues will definitely come up, but maybe not in a timely fashion. Poor Lincoln...

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I loved Luna... my mind is enjoying this fic, more for what they're doing and how goofy and cartoony it's. For some reason, the tune and rithm of Luna's was in my mind a variation of porn/funky of Something about us of Daft Punk. Curious, because it's a more guitar bass song, than guitar which seems it's the instrument she's playing at.

Luna actually plays a lot of different instruments, which surely would include the bass.

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I wonder as well, are there going to be repeats among the girls with a more slow and loving pace and less neurotic needy movements? Lori seemed partially done, but I wonder if she's going to come back for more, or she's really completely done…

We shall see.

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 and yes, you're obviously doing each girl quite fast, but still quite believable under the circunstances...

That's probably the trickiest part of writing this fic -- making the sex scenes believable but keeping them short enough that this story doesn't become the War and Peace of cartoon porn fics.

 

[GeorgeGlass]

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From Saint_Wanker_Kris on October 15, 2016

And, I applaude you.

Thank you! *bows*

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Why? You've managed to capture each girl in such a fashion, that each one of them so far has felt unique, and not as a re-do of others or in some cases, the same girl.

My philosophy of fanfiction is that it has to be faithful to the source material to the point that you couldn't just swap in characters from some other fandom and still have the story make sense. So one of my chief goals in writing this long string of sex scenes is to suit each scene to the characters involved.

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Luna's anthics with music and rithm, Luan (who's probably going to come back for more, as she hasn't actually had complete sex with him... unlike her sisters.) And Lynn are so different, and each moved by a different but quite poignant theme, that it's refreshing despite how short the sex is.

I saw Lisa taking care of Lincoln and the girls, it's obvious that she's still working hard to make things slightly less painfull for all of them... Though, Lincoln might need to drink some liquids soon, maybe another batch of chemicals to prevent the consecuense of such an amount of excercise.

 

Good point about the fluids. As for the exercise, well, some consequences can't be avoided...

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And... Lucy. I wonder if what she had said will have some consequences, I mean, they're all aware of their actions, even if hypersexualized. And Lucy so far has been the only one that doesn't want to simply fuck and get over it to satiate her need, but she wants to be loved... which might force some of the girls to think about what they're doing, changing their second session with Lincoln, especially the pace.

No spoilers!
 

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But I have the feeling that maybe you don't want to enlarge the story too much, as it gets slightly hard to do in such a fashion. Still, you've always managed to ensure at least good amount of advance in the characters on all your stories, even develop them further due to the consecuences of their actions... I hope to read more of this soon.

Sorry for the long wait. Hope you can update soon.

 

Never apologize; I'm always happy to get your reviews.

As for when I'll update next, I'm currently working on a couple of Halloween stories that I'd like to finish within the next week, so I may not get back to “Whoops” until after those are finished.

[GeorgeGlass]

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From thefrozeng on November 29, 2016

This is a awesome comic hope u keep making it

 

Then you’ll be pleased to know that I’ve just posted a new chapter. Thanks for the comment!

[GeorgeGlass]

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From Lunarsilver on December 01, 2016

I think I like Lucy's the best

 

 

Because Lincoln's liaisons with the first five sisters all go kind of the way you'd expect, with Lincoln using what he knows about each sister to help her get off, I decided that I wanted his encounter with Lucy to be a little less predictable -- but (IMO) still plausible. So instead of their playing vampires or whatever, I decided to go heavier and show some intimacy and romance between them.

 

Side note: With this review -- the 27th that this story has garnered -- “Whoops” is now my most-reviewed story of all time. (The previous record holder is my Phineas and Ferb story “Tri-Date Area,” which currently has 26 reviews.) So thanks to all of you who have been kind enough to review this story!

[GeorgeGlass]

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From Fairy-Slayer on December 01, 2016

It picked up nicely with the momentum of the last chapter's "cliffhanger" moment, and the stunned silence was a nice touch.

 

I figure that in the Loud House, nothing is more meaningful than silence.

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Lincoln understanding her deeper, not-even-sexual need for intimacy and recognition was very poignant too… though I'm still glad they totally did it.

Lucy's pheromone-induced horniness synergized with her existing need for intimacy. So Lucy is totally glad they did it, too.

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It was cute that her lacy panties were a surprise for Lincoln, though I'm sure lots of her devoted fans suspected it all along.

I choose to leave it a mystery whether she wears them all the time or whether she wore them specifically for Lincoln.

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Her dialogue was very in-character with its poetry and softness. Their lovemaking was terrific, especially how special it seemed to Lincoln in contrast to all of the other sex.

Lincoln needs intimacy, too.

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Lana is super in her love of dirty things, and Lincoln's suggestion was spot-on for us as much as for her. Her enthusiasm was brilliant throughout, and it had a great build-up and a powerfully fun messy ending. Perfect.

I loved writing that scene. I had a lot of fun with the idea of Lana just going completely bonkers during anal sex.

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Lola was surprisingly well-informed about what kinds of things sex was good for, as far as career advancement, which made me laugh… then a touch sad too, now that I think about it too much.

Lola is precocious, and she's got a talent for getting what she wants. For her, sex is just one more tool to put in the bag. And yes, that is a bit sad.

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Still, it was funny that she understood the logistics very well too for her "practice," and they hade a great back-and-forth. (I loved the crazy Trixie Tang moment.)

I'm not familiar with that character. Is she vain?

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Afterwards, Lola comported herself very professionally, but we have to hope that the experience made an impression on her at some level.

On her, in her…

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Finally, nice of Lisa to turn her catchphrase around after showing Lincoln she's well versed in a particular set of interpersonal skills too. I'm eager to see what else she can teach him (and maybe even learn herself). Thanks for another terrific chapter.

Thanks for another terrific review!

[FairySlayer]

I choose to leave it a mystery whether she wears them all the time or whether she wore them specifically for Lincoln.

I like to believe that she wears them all the time, specifically for Lincoln.

I'm not familiar with that character. Is she vain?

Oh yeah. "Tell me I'm pretty!" is her catchphrase.

Thanks for another terrific review!

It's always my pleasure.

[GeorgeGlass]

 

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From ANON - Mr. Exposer on January 09, 2017

 

One of the best nsfw loud stories i have ever read.

Thank you!
 

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Most of the other amazing lewd house stories i read only focus on one loud sister, this takes the cake for doing ALL of the sisters. Of course this is not the first fanfic to do a lewd story with all of the sisters. What sets this fanfic apart from the rest is that the story doesn't get bland later on and the lewd scenes don't get boring after say the 4th sister for example. Most just make a amazing nsfw story with one sister or a rushed uninteresting nsfw story to accomodate all 10 sisters, this is a hybrid of them both merged together.

 

When I started writing “Whoops,” I didn't fully understand that I was committing myself to writing what has turned out to be the longest continuous sex scene I've ever written. I was thinking that I could focus on some of the sisters’ liaisons with Lincoln and “fast forward” through others. But as I wrote, I realized that I didn't want to skimp on any of them, because part of the fun and challenge of writing this story has been figuring out how Lincoln would accommodate each sister's desires. (I'm having a good time right now finishing up his scene with Lisa, which is requiring the frequent use of both Dictionary.com and Wikipedia. )

 

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I thank the author for this memorable story, and as a lynncoln fan myself, i applaud you for making such a great nsfw scene. I hope you decide to make more Loud house fanfics after this, maybe a lynncoln fic one day? ;):):)

 

 

You are most welcome! The next NSFW Loud House story I have planned, titled “The Loud House After Dark,” will feature some hardcore hanky-panky between Lincoln and Lynn.

[GeorgeGlass]

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From ANON - on January 24, 2017

On the last page (from 6 to 7), Lincoln looks like a sick pedo.

You mean, the part where he bangs his five-year-old twin sisters? Don’t know why you'd think that.

[FairySlayer]

16 hours ago, GeorgeGlass said:

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From ANON - on January 24, 2017

On the last page (from 6 to 7), Lincoln looks like a sick pedo.

---

You mean, the part where he bangs his five-year-old twin sisters? Don’t know why you'd think that.

Sure, Lincoln may just be lousy pedophile, but with a lot of practice he could be a fantastic pedophile.

Edited January 25, 2017 by FairySlayer

[GeorgeGlass]

On 1/25/2017 at 2:10 PM, FairySlayer said:

Sure, Lincoln may just be lousy pedophile, but with a lot of practice he could be a fantastic pedophile.

It’s a lot of work, though. I mean, just keeping up with what kind of candy little girls like is- Never mind.

[GeorgeGlass]

Though I'm sad to see the adventures end, the final chapter was fantastic.

 

Thank you!

 

First off, Lisa doing self-surgery is a bit scary. I really liked how he appreciated Lisa's well-defined young body, whether it was from the injection or just nice to notice in general. It was fun as Lincoln kept having to figure out what Lisa's technical language, though it was really funny how quickly he caught onto "doggy style." After that, their "dirty talk" was terrific, especially as her pretentious vocabulary started to crack; when she told him she was losing her ability to form sentences and even words and he took it as a challenge, that was even better. In the end, I think both of them were quite pleased with the result.

 

It was quite a challenge to write that dialogue. Wikipedia and Thesaurus.com got a lot of use.

 

I was getting a little worried for Lincoln when he was still up for more despite his exhaustion and the sisters were ready to go again. It was quite mature of Lori to notice that, even though they would have done it any way at all, he'd gone out of his way to consider each of their personalities and likes instead of just taking advantage of them.

 

Lori definitely has her moments on the show, so I thought it reasonable for her to have one here.

 

The reverse-gangbang scene played out beautifully, though I had to wonder where Lola had read about blowjobs. (Highlights for Sluts?)

 

Lola is not a slut! She’s a slut-in-training.

 

When she told Lana to take over and the elder twin shouted, "Gross!" I knew that meant she's be all over it. (And she was.) It was kind of sweet that all nine of them were just as exhausted by the end as Lincoln.

 

They had a long day.

 

Then, I don't know why, but I had been absolutely convinced that Lisa had mentioned birth control when she gave out the cherry chews, but nope: this was even funnier. Of course she could take care of the problem, but like the whole thing only after her oversight had created the problem in the first place. (Sorry all preggo fans.)

 

Lisa’s “Frankenstein syndrome” appears again: She’s a genius, but she has a chronic problem with thinking things through.

 

Finally, the show-style ending with Lincoln's "moral" was nice, though when Lori scolded him for his mishandling of his "boy stuff" that was the perfect little shot that made it perfect for the series.

 

The “moral” seems so standard for the show that I felt like it wouldn’t really be a Loud House story without one. And the “boy stuff” ending just seemed fitting; I’d had that in mind since I started writing the story.

Thanks again for such a fantastic story, and I'm honored to have been the proofreader (so I could read it sooner!).

Thanks again for your proofreading, and your marvelous comments!

[GeorgeGlass]

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From 2unlimited on February 21, 2017

These Loud Kids, Including:

Lincoln: Get Ready For This

Lori: Tribal Dance

Leni: Maximum Overdrive

Luna: The Magic Friend

Luan: Workaholic

Lynn: The Real Thing

Lucy: Twilight Zone

Lana: No One

Lola: Here I Go

Lisa: No Limit

Excluding Lily: Let The Beat Control Your Body 

 

Um, okay.

[GeorgeGlass]

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From Jrubas91 on April 28, 2017

You, my friend, are a mad genius.

 

Thank you! Lisa Loud is my role model.

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First, the set-up was both believable (in a cartoon context) and interesting.

The fact that there's a mad scientist in the family, along with the advantages of cartoon logic, were among the main reasons why I decided that doing a Loud House porn story was a good idea. Plus, so many sisters...

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It reminded me of Cronenberg’s Shivers, which, if you haven’t seen it, has a very similar premise. And I mean that as a huge compliment. I love that movie.

I've never even heard of it. I'll have to look into it.

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Second, your characterizations were spot-on, from what I’ve seen of the show (my kids watch it). It read, for the most part, like an episode of the show, right down to Lincoln going out of his way to make each sister’s experience special, and then them teaming up to return the favor.

In writing fanfics, I always try to include what seem to be the essential elements of the show--and then put a porny spin on them, of course.

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I also laughed a few times, and not just in a “What the fuck?” kind of way. When the tomboy says, “I’m gonna lick his balls!” I lost it. Kudos.

Lana's a fun character to write.

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PS. I literally created this account just to review your story,

Wow, high praise! You know, assuming that you meant literally-literally and not Lori-literally.

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though I think I’d like to write a funny fanfic for something. I’ve been writing for fifteen years and I’ve never done one. Looks fun.

It's totally fun! It's like being able to play with another kid's toys. Like, a kid from a way better neighborhood.

Thanks so much for the review!

[GeorgeGlass]

I thought folks might enjoy seeing some author notes about “Whoops”:

“Whoops” contains the longest continuous sex scene I've ever written. This was not my original plan; I had intended to gloss over some of the encounters and focus on others. But in the course of writing the story, I couldn't bring myself to shortchange any of the Loud sisters (except Lily, but most readers are probably okay with that).

In the original draft of chapter 1, I had Lisa say that the menstrual cycles of women who live together tend to synchronize (something even my wife believed was true). But Fairy Slayer, who betaed “Whoops” for me, pointed out that that's a myth, so I rewrote Lisa's dialogue as appropriate. (This was not the first time that FS pointed out a scientific inaccuracy in one of my stories; he also noted a fallacious statement about black holes and Hawking radiation in “Dark Dreams, Forbidden Fantasies.”)

The idea to make Lisa's comment “I can do a lot of things” a recurring line also came from Fairy Slayer.

The “Amazinger T action figures” that Lincoln plans to leave to Clyde in chapter 2 are a reference to the Mazinger Z manga, anime, and toys from the 1970s. (I included this line because Lincoln seems to have a fondness for toy robots.)

Boyz Will Be Boyz, whose members’ voices Lisa uses to lure the other girls away from Lincoln's door, is the band from Lori's first concert in the episode “For Bros About to Rock.”

Lincoln uses a different position with each of his sisters: Lori, cowgirl; Leni, missionary; Luna, on their sides; Luan, sixty-nine; Lynn, various (as they wrestle for who will be on top); Lucy, sitting on Lincoln's lap; Lana, reverse cowgirl; Lola, sitting on the dresser; and Lisa, doggystyle.

Lincoln's discovery that Lucy has blue eyes was a cheat on my part, because on The Loud House, none of the characters’ eyes have irises -- just pupils and whites. This style of drawing eyes was also used in Gravity Falls.

Lisa's comment that “most lagomorphs do not have an estrous cycle” (in response to Lana shouting “Fuck my butthole! Fuck it like a jackrabbit in heat!”) came to me because of a Zootopia fanfic I had read in which Judy Hopps goes into heat. At the time, I thought, “Rabbits don't do that, do they?” so I looked it up, and indeed, they do not. Rather, female rabbits ovulate whenever they have intercourse, which is how they can crank out so many little rabbits.

The lordosis reflex that Lisa mentions in chapter 6 is a behavior common among mammalian species, in which the female gets into a sway-backed body posture in preparation for intercourse. Humans don't actually have this reflex, but given both Lisa's substantial experience with lab animals and her desire to have sex “in the fashion commonly associated with Canis familiaris,” I figured she might enjoy including it as role-play.

In chapter 6, when the girls start to freak out upon realizing that they didn't use any birth control when they had sex with Lincoln, Lisa replies that “There's no need for hysterics.” This is a bit of word play on Lisa's part, as the word hysterics comes from the Greek word hystera, meaning “uterus.”

My initial reason for making Pythagoras a mouse (rather than a rat, which, to my mind, seems like a more appropriate subject for a study of intelligence) was that there was going to be this bit of dialogue at the end between Lincoln and Lisa:

“So, how did your project with Pythagoras turn out?”

“I'm afraid the experiment had to be terminated. The research ethics committee wouldn't approve it, on the grounds that hyper-intelligent laboratory mice always try to take over the world.”

As amusing as this Pinky and the Brain reference might have been, the implied killing of Pythagoras seemed like too much of a downer for the ending of this light-hearted fic, so I didn't include it.

Finally, if you liked this story, stay tuned: I've got a new fic in the works titled The Loud House After Dark.

[GeorgeGlass]

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From Geno_Sans on July 21, 2017

THIS WAS THE BEST FANFICTION THAT I HAVE EVER READ

 

Thank you!

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AND I WANT U TO MAKE ANOTHER CHAPTER WHERE THE SCENT ON LINCOLN AFFECTED ALL THE GIRLS IN SCHOOL PLEASE

I’m not planning to add any more chapters to this story, but I’m sure to be writing more Loud House stories – some of which will involve girls outside the Loud family.

Also, if you enjoyed “Whoops,” then you might like my other Loud House fic, “The Loud House After Dark.”

[Guest Hedgs]

Are you going to do a sequel? Maybe it could be about a 8 years have passed and his sisters are still doing it with him. Lisa reveals at a family meeting without Lincoln about the reason they did it in the first place 8 years ago. Each sister was angry, but then they calmed down. Then, they decided to plan on getting pregnant with Lincoln’s child since the feelings they have for him now are real.

[Guest Hedgs]

What do you think?

[GeorgeGlass]

On 10/29/2017 at 4:58 AM, Guest Hedgs said:

Are you going to do a sequel? Maybe it could be about a 8 years have passed and his sisters are still doing it with him. Lisa reveals at a family meeting without Lincoln about the reason they did it in the first place 8 years ago. Each sister was angry, but then they calmed down. Then, they decided to plan on getting pregnant with Lincoln’s child since the feelings they have for him now are real.

I don’t have any plans for a sequel, although I do plan to write more Loud House stories.

I’m not big on aging up characters. My feeling is, if I want to write fanfic about adults, I’ll pick characters who are already adults.

[GeorgeGlass]

 

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From DebbieCync on May 12, 2018

Leni turned to Lori. “What are they saying to each other?”

“I’m not totally sure,” the older teen replied, “but I think they’re talking dirty.”

Bwahahaha!

 

 

I had a lot of fun writing the dialogue for this story. Writing Lisa’s required a lot of consulting with Dictionary.com and Wikipedia. 

[GeorgeGlass]

From Trip on July 04, 2019

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Wow that was good. I especially like how he gave each of the charcters some personality and uniquness. I know it's based on an existing TV franchise, but holding on to their identities and keeping the personalities is no easy feat.

 

Thanks! My top priority when writing fanfic is being faithful to the characters. And because the characters are so distinctive on the show, it’s not that hard to make them distinctive on the page.

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The intro portion, regarding trainer bra's an pads with wings, I found even more arousing than some of the actul sex scenes because it just feels so normal. 

When I started thinking about writing this story (which was my first Loud House fic), I thought about what kinds of RL issues a boy with ten sisters would have to deal with, and that’s where all of that stuff came from. 

Thanks for the review!

[StoryLover]

Just … wow.

It was so long and intense , yet I couldn’t stop reading this (I missed out on my sleep )

I enjoyed how you made Lincoln adapt to each of the characters’ personalities. 

Thanks again for another great story! 

 

[GeorgeGlass]

5 hours ago, StoryLover said:

Just … wow.

It was so long and intense , yet I couldn’t stop reading this (I missed out on my sleep )

I enjoyed how you made Lincoln adapt to each of the characters’ personalities. 

Thanks again for another great story! 

And thanks for the comment! Figuring out how Lincoln would accommodate each of his sisters was one of the fun challenges of writing this story.

Edited October 12, 2019 by GeorgeGlass

[neo4812]

this was a good fanfic. you write good loudcest

[GeorgeGlass]

3 hours ago, neo4812 said:

this was a good fanfic. you write good loudcest

Thanks!