Writing a "first time" scenario

[Dirty Unicorn]

I'm nearly done with this one-shot I've been working on, but the sex scene (something I've never written before until now) is what keeps on tripping me up. It's between two young men. One is a virgin, and the other, while not a virgin, has never been intimate with another man before. I'm just worried about it looking silly or being unbelievable. One bit of advice I've seen around is to see how other writers tackle the subject, which I've been doing, but I was wondering if anyone had anymore advice or tips to share?

[CL Mustafic]

I would say that if you are looking for it to be somewhat realistic, remember that everything will not go smoothly. Try to remember your first time. If it was anything like most people's there was a lot of fumbling about and a fair bit of awkwardness. Of course that can be a fine line to walk if you're also looking for it to be titillating to your readers, you probably don't want it to be too realistic because someone stopping in the middle because it hurts isn't exactly what most readers are looking for in their porn. (I know this as a fact )

If you're not shooting for anything near realistic, then anything goes I guess.

And what would make you think that anyone would think you look silly? Have you read some of the drivel some of us put out there?

CL

[CloverReef]

CL's advice is so sound. Don't be afraid to let your characters screw up, be ugly and be a little gross sometimes, especially during sex. I think the most silly sex scenes are when everything goes perfectly. At least to me. Flawed and messy can be sexy. Other than that, focus on the senses: what do they taste, smell, see, feel? I'd also suggest avoiding the passive voice in sex scenes when possible. Tends to slow things down and take away from the sexy. Oh, and a good beta who reads or writes a lot is priceless with this sort of thing too!

There are actually a lot of good advice articles out there about writing erotica fiction. Most are for het erotica, but the advice is usually still valid. I had more to say, but I forgot what... Anyway, have fun! Welcome to the dark side!

[Dirty Unicorn]

Funny thing about my first time -- there has yet to be one, since I'm asexual. But yeah, that's a very good point about their experience not exactly going smoothly.

Of course that can be a fine line to walk if you're also looking for it to be titillating to your readers, you probably don't want it to be too realistic because someone stopping in the middle because it hurts isn't exactly what most readers are looking for in their porn. (I know this as a fact )

XD True, true... In that case, guess I should aim for a mix of realism and fantasy.

I did see someone else saying that a virgin wouldn't be able to bring their partner to orgasm, yet funnily enough, I've seen this in quite a few first time stories. A part of me wants to go that route too, since the fandom I'm writing in always portrays this particular character as a uke because of his personality and nationality. I really want to buck that trend.

And what would make you think that anyone would think you look silly? Have you read some of the drivel some of us put out there?

CL

LOL! I'm guess I'm just paranoid about being one of those writers people laugh at because they're obviously a virgin trying to write porn and failing. XD

Thanks for replying! Your answer gave me some stuff to think about.

[Dirty Unicorn]

CL's advice is so sound. Don't be afraid to let your characters screw up, be ugly and be a little gross sometimes, especially during sex. I think the most silly sex scenes are when everything goes perfectly. At least to me. Flawed and messy can be sexy. Other than that, focus on the senses: what do they taste, smell, see, feel? I'd also suggest avoiding the passive voice in sex scenes when possible. Tends to slow things down and take away from the sexy. Oh, and a good beta who reads or writes a lot is priceless with this sort of thing too!

There are actually a lot of good advice articles out there about writing erotica fiction. Most are for het erotica, but the advice is usually still valid. I had more to say, but I forgot what... Anyway, have fun! Welcome to the dark side!

Sorry, I didn't see your reply until after I posted just now. Good advice that I will definitely take into consideration! I didn't consider taking guides on writing het erotica and applying the tips in them to slash. I'd love a beta, but unfortunately my writer friends stick to clean material and I'm pretty sure Sonic rule 34 isn't their thing, so for now I'm beta-less.

Thank you! So far everybody here seems pretty chill, which is a relief.

[BronxWench]

And we have a couple of handy threads (and I use them myself as reference because I'm not a proud owner of a penis) that work well for male/male stories:

http://www2.adult-fanfiction.org/forum/index.php/topic/17245-men-flirting-with-men/


http://www2.adult-fanfiction.org/forum/index.php/topic/17130-physical-sensation-of-erection/

[Dirty Unicorn]

Ooo, these links will be very handy indeed. Thank you, Bronx Wench!

[BronxWench]

My pleasure!

Don't worry so much about making it perfect. Write your characters from the heart, and let them fumble, and be awkward, like everyone else has said. But most of all, believe in your characters, and listen to them. You'll do great!

[CL Mustafic]

I did see someone else saying that a virgin wouldn't be able to bring their partner to orgasm, yet funnily enough, I've seen this in quite a few first time stories. A part of me wants to go that route too, since the fandom I'm writing in always portrays this particular character as a uke because of his personality and nationality. I really want to buck that trend.

I think this might pertain more to het couples because it is harder to make a woman come (it takes some work believe me) and most young women aren't even aware of what their own bodies need to achieve the big O with a partner or are too shy to ask for what they need. Guys on the other hand know what is needed to make them come for the most part and since you're dealing with two guys chances are the virgin has masturbated and will know how to make the other guy shoot.

Just write it and don't worry about it so much or if you do worry that much find a beta that writes the same sort of thing and have them give you some pointers. Most importantly, have fun, that's why we do this after all, right?

CL

[pippychick]

I'd just add that while your story has an audience, as far as your two characters are concerned, their only audience is each other. So... if they're discovering this new thing, I'm guessing they're past the stage of being embarrassed before each other (at least, mostly). So if it's awkward and difficult, have them notice, have them laugh with each other about it. They are the only two people in the room. Let them enjoy the excitement and the fumbling... sometimes, that's half the fun. You can break the tension between them without letting up on their anticipation

[Dirty Unicorn]

@BronxWench: Thanks! *nods* The first sex scene you ever write probably isn't going to turn out absolutely perfect (much like a person's real first time, lol). Also, I'm big on characterization and staying true to the characters' core personalities, so I hear ya there.

@CL: That makes a lot of sense. It does seem easier for guys to get off. The virgin in fact actually gets caught masturbating by his would-be partner, and he's done it before even though he considers it shameful (he's pretty old-fashioned). At this point, I'm not super-worried about the beta issue. I actually really dislike the other smutfic I've seen done for this fandom, and in general finding a good beta is like pulling teeth, so those factors lower my chances at finding a good one. Hopefully if I get any reviews, they'll throw out some feedback.

Oh definitely -- having fun is partly why I got interested in trying my hand at erotica. XD

@dafdes: I'll keep that in mind. The characters have been besties since they were little, so they're comfortable with each other for the most part.

Why didn't I register for the forums here sooner? You guys have been way more helpful then some of the other forums I've been at before.