BashfulScribe's Written Works

[BashfulScribe]

She's certainly an unpredictable character.

I've also got a story-based reason why Nicole warms up to him at all as opposed to her over friends with benefits, but I'd rather keep it to myself and have the reader make their own conclusions.

[Joe Long]

She's certainly an unpredictable character.

I've also got a story-based reason why Nicole warms up to him at all as opposed to her over friends with benefits, but I'd rather keep it to myself and have the reader make their own conclusions.

Of course, everything should be story-based and I hate spoilers (I don't even watch "previews of next week") unless you mean she has her own agenda, and it's not strictly a reaction to Adam. Nicole does prefer to be in control.

But don't tell us. We need more people in here so we can talk to each other.

[BashfulScribe]

Enh. I'm fine with being small potatoes, I'm just happy with what I have. I wouldn't trade the more awesome dedicated fans like you for a billion fans.

[Guest Bill]

Bashful I have been following BMS since the old blue site. I am glad to see that you are now in this forum and even better that you have dropped Twitter as a means to communicate with your fans. I really enjoyed both Adam and Nicole's characters. Even though I hated to see Nicole cut off the physical relationship between her and Adam it appears that more good then bad will come from it. The first thing I noticed was that Adam was trying to create a more emotional bond with Nicole. The second thing I noticed was a more civilized reaction from Nicole's parents. Keep up the good work. And even though you felt an attachment to the other stories you're writing I am glad that you are concentrating on BMS for the time being. I look forward two more chapters and possibly with a shorter break between.

[BashfulScribe]

I haven't quite dropped Twitter. I'll still use it as much. I just figured this was a more welcome, private, available, and unlimited medium if anyone wishes to discuss things involving/surrounding these stories and the community they produce.

Cheers, though! I'm working on it now, though I can't guarantee I'll make much progress.

[that-one-guy]

I started rereading BMS, I had entirely forgotten that Adam is blonde haha

[BashfulScribe]

Honestly, I think that's a good thing. The story really is a guideline - Adam's really someone to attach yourself to by traditional storytelling. Make whatever hair color you want.

I only really made him blonde because I didn't want to feel like I was him, so I chose the hair color farthest from mine.

[BashfulScribe]

Holy toledo, Chapter 15 of Being More Social is out! And it's not even seven months after I last updated! Crazy, right?

[Guest Bill]

Alright!!! Looking forward to reading the chapter as soon as I get out of work. Something to look forward to. Happy 4the of July to you and everyone.

[Guest Bill]

Confession time. Couldn't wait until after work. Had to stop and reading the chapter. All I can say is AWESOME!! I don't know if it was intentional, but I like the references to She's the One. First the gun in a locker and then the prostitution ring. Your writing is very emotional and I look forward to reading another chapter soon. See, that's the problem. When you put out a good story, you always leave us wanting more. Keep up the good work.

[Joe Long]

[spoilerS!!!]

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Fast paced and schizophrenic, a real roller coaster ride of emotion.

First Adam hates Megan, and then...

Things got all mushy with Nicole (making me teary-eyed in the scene at the church) and then she's tearing him a new one.

And then, maybe things were more normal with May until...

Maybe it was the end of Ch10 (or soon after) that things seem to wrap up, Adam in some way reconciled with all three girls. It might not have been an adequate end to the story, but it was a potential end. Well, things are gathering speed quickly, heading towards a train wreck.

Oh, and I loved Adam's verbal beat down of Jenna. Spot on.

[BashfulScribe]

Whether it's evident or not in how I write my stories, I'm an avid feminist. With that being said, there's a right way and a wrong way to progress the empowerment and civil equality of women, and I've seen way too much of the wrong way. Jenna as a character is the embodiment of this incorrectness, if I may be so bold. Without getting too personal I've gone through a sexual situation where I didn't consent and she took what she wanted anyway, and I've had a self-proclaimed feminist tell me to my face that I couldn't have been sexually harassed because I'm a guy and rape has to do with power and given the patriarchy, since I'm in power I can't be raped. That's such bullshit. A true feminist fights for equal rights, not increased segregation.

I like to think of it as another theme of the story. Nicole is what I believe the ideal feminist should be - she is her own person no matter who attempts to tear her down, and depends on others only when she herself feels like she can. She's big on consent and also big on the idea that no matter how much sex you have, you're a person that deserves respect. I have to imagine the sex story world is full of left and right wing people, and as a left-wing, I accept that not everyone is into feminism, be it the movement or just the word. However, I think we can all agree that Nicole is a step up from Jenna in terms of someone who looks at people as equals.

Sorry about those tears, Joe. I hope the rest of the story was worth it.

[Guest Guest]

So the school slut and alpha-bitch is girlfriend material with a heart of gold. The crush and ideal girlfriend is in fact a shallow manipulative bitch. And the meek little virgin with a crush is well on her way to being an actual slut.

BashfulScribe, this isn't character development, it's anarchy! Seriously though. I binged this over a couple of days and it's great.

As for feminism, the most feminist thing you can do is just write good female characters. Nicole is indeed awesome and it's hard not to love her. She knows (mostly) who she is, is comfortable with it, knows what she wants and she's driven enough to get it.

It's a little weird that she's seemingly good at everything. If not for her attachment issues, she'd be a little TOO perfect. But I can write that off as hiding those faults from Adam/everyone. She's gotta maintain that control, right?

[Guest Starkz]

It's a little weird that she's seemingly good at everything. If not for her attachment issues, she'd be a little TOO perfect. But I can write that off as hiding those faults from Adam/everyone. She's gotta maintain that control, right?

Pssst.

She's an alien

And I love her for that

[Guest Guest]

Any idea how long it will be before the next chapter is out? I'm really keen to see how the situation with May turns out.

[BashfulScribe]

As much as I'd like to say every chapter is coming out this summer, I first want to make sure they're decent first, and with this particular chapter, I threw out my previous plans for it, so it's taking a bit more time. I'm sorry about that. That said, I'm diligently writing, even as we speak, to try to bring it into completion is quickly as possible.

[Guest Bruce]

How's 'The Good, the Bad and Molly' going along? I understand that writing 2 stories at the same time can be quite difficult but damn I'm eager to see what happens with Aaron and Molly after the end of the last chapter

[BashfulScribe]

I won't lie, it's on the back burner for now. I really want to finish BMS first and then work on GBM, that way I'm only on one story at once and people know what they're getting. Plus, it's been more than 2 years since I started it so I figure I should finish it soon.

Oh, right. It's been 2 years as of some day in the past few weeks since I started. Happy birthday, woo yay.

[Guest Guest]

Any updates on chapter 16?

[BashfulScribe]

When Chapter 15 popped up not two weeks after 14 was published, more than a few people seemed relieved. Wow, this amateur author I enjoy is publishing more frequently now. Maybe things are going to go back to the way they used to be, awesome. Unfortunately, it didn’t stay the case for long and while this hasn’t been the longest break between chapters, this has been the most silent I’ve stayed between chapters.

The reason behind this is pretty simple. I ran out of money.

I had a pretty privileged upbringing so this kind of thing has never really happened to me before. I had to face a lot of hard truths in the past few months, the biggest of which being this – at this point in time, my dream of becoming a teacher is going to need to be cut short. Maybe it’ll happen in the future, but I need to wave goodbye to the notion of being the cool early-to-late-twenties teacher who is still somewhat in tune to the youth of today. Right now my life is going in a direction that goes against my plans that have been consistent for the better part of four years and… well, that’s just a little bit scary.

Since mid-high school, that was the goal for me. Now, that goal is over, a least for now. In a weird way, I’m almost grateful. It’s a humbling experience, and it’s made me think about what things I have left to fall back on. One of those things was a pledge that if I didn’t make it into teaching, I’d go into a partnership with a close friend of mine who helped set this website up. He and I are working on some endeavors of his right now. Mostly they’re silly YouTube videos and non-serious things, but in a way, it’s kind of nice.

Another thing was my writing and its following, or at least, what’s left of it. Economically, buying a domain and setting up this website now when I arguably have the smallest following I’ve ever had since I started is the most stupid thing I could have done. However, I’m not doing this to capitalize on my popularity or anything. I’m going, instead, to start over. I had an alright following at one time doing what I only later discovered was my favorite thing – telling stories, even if they’re erotic ones. If I could make it happen once, I could make it happen again. If I can’t be a teacher and I’m too poor to continue college, what’s stopping me from pursuing writing? I don’t have much to lose. That is why I’m starting this now. I want to see what I can do with this. Maybe it will remain a hobby and I will just end up doing retail jobs my whole life. But maybe, just maybe, this could take off. One or two people have suggested Patreon before, something I’m looking into (although my partner makes YouTube videos about gaming and I write erotic stories, kind of difficult to find a harmony between the two). Maybe I could sell other stories I create, although that would make it difficult to sustain a living, plus I don’t want to cut off content from you all, since you’ve supported my writing for a long time now. I just don’t know.

Speaking of things I don’t know, I can’t predict the future. I’m not guaranteeing you’ll see a story from me every week or every month. What I can promise, though, is that I won’t stop. To that end, another big reason I set up this website is this blog. This website has three ultimate purposes: 1, posting my work here a week before anywhere else, 2, to keep my work safe in case other sites shut down/boot me out, and 3, this blog. I pledge that once every week while I’m still writing, as long as I have internet, I will update this blog. Maybe an entry will be a single sentence. Maybe it’ll be a long-ass story like this. Lord if I know. All I know is, I’ll be updating it.

(I say ‘this site,’ although I’ll be posting this to the AFF forums as well, as well as other blog entries until I feel secure about using the site.)

If you are reading this from another source and want to read Being More Social chapter 16, it’s on the website under ‘stories.’ I hope you enjoy it. It was weirdly tough to write, although hopefully that gets easier in the future. I hope you all enjoy the website and the new direction I’m taking. I’m sorry that I’ve been bad at producing on schedule and for my poor communication. I’m not asking you all to be as eager as if I were publishing weekly, but I do appreciate that you’re still reading this nonetheless. I’ll talk to you next week.

Originally posted on my new website, www.bashfulscribe.com. It would mean the world to me if you checked it out.

[BashfulScribe]

If you're reading this, that means either chapter 16 is on other websites or I'm currently working on it, depending on how fast you are with reading these.

For those who don't know, I got into erotica writing thanks to the inadvertent assistance of another writer named Jashley13, who is both my friend and writing rival. As of right now, he's kind of MIA. The poor sucker went to boot camp (I had to scroll through his forum to make sure I wasn't giving private information). More importantly, he asked me to keep a small eye on the forum and keep writing in his absence and I said I would.

It's a really small thing but that bugs me a lot. I made a promise that I would keep writing, and yeah, it's not like I gave up, but I was as slow as always. I feel kind of like I let him down, and for a while I almost stopped writing because I felt too guilty about coming back, like it would be shameless of me. Does that make sense? Probably not. It's kind of like handing in an assignment to your gradeschool teacher a week late. You feel so guilty about wasting your teacher's time that you just don't bother giving it to them anyway and accept the mark of zero. Did anyone ever do that? I did. Maybe there's more of Adam in me than I thought.

At this point, he's coming back very soon. In his absence, I got what, one, maybe two chapters out? He could pull that much out of his ass in a week. I feel kind of inadequate next to him sometimes. We have that kind of 'You're the better writer' 'No YOU'RE the better writer' friendship and I enjoy his company, but at the same time as a creator it bugs me a little that my rival writer has a more active fanbase, a more active community, more views, more chapters done, etc. I've tried to tell myself a few things to console myself, like "He puts more time into writing, he deserves more," "He has time to write, you're still a student with a thousand things going on," "Focus on your craft, not the applause it gets," etc. None of it really helps in the long run. At the end of the day though, even just the slightest notice makes me incredibly happy and I can't say I'm not blessed when you, yup, you in front of the screen, are reading these very words. It's kind of surreal to me. People care not only about the stories I write, but even my thoughts behind them. That's insane. I want to emphasize that if you're a storyteller as well, I hope I've read your works and I hope you get happiness out of what you do as much as I do.

Sometimes that's why I stop. I don't get happiness from being forced to write, I get it from writing. To me, they're two very different things. I wouldn't advertise that there were 'more stories to come' on my site if I didn't have ideas for them, and at this point, I've started writing about a grand total of five stories. The thing is, I don't want to start releasing them if they actively bog down my work (thanks a lot, Molly) and I want to finish what I start. That's why I'm solely working on Being More Social for now.

I've said this before, but I don't really invent my stories, I imagine them. The events of the story play out as I write. I do very little planning in terms of my stories, they just sort of fall into my head. I'm just sort of telling you what I saw instead of inventing things. IN many ways, I'm as much a reader as you are. And sometimes, the stories stop. I can't write when that happens. That's another reason why I've been so slow. The scene with Nicole in the church was the result of walking around town one night, finding a public park, sitting down on a bench with my head down for about an hour and thinking. As soon as it hit me, I rushed home and wrote the entire scene without ever changing so much as my wording. The only time I hit 'backspace' was when I made a spelling error. (Speaking of, I make a ton of those, it's borderline shameful.)

My website is a good way of keeping my promise even if it is a tad too late. Even if I don't publish a chapter every two days or something, it's always on my mind. And make no mistake, I'm writing more often. As things get more dramatic and stakes are raised, it's getting a little harder to write and make sure I keep everything in mind (everyone's feelings, past events, when they took place, how everyone feels about those events, who even knows they existed, etc). That said, it's only four more chapters until BMS is over. I got this.

My friend and I have decided we're going to form an official partnership and set up a Patreon. Lame, right? Kind of. We're going to be setting it up shortly after the new year begins. Don't worry, I won't be gating any content away from you guys or anything. This is just something to help two students pay the bills etc. We don't think it'll actually take off and become our lives, but we don't know what the future holds, and if anything has plagued my writing, it's been my inability to jump in and take risks. As well, my partner needs to make a better name for himself on the internet first. To put it kindly, he doesn't have much of a following. I don't really know how well the combination of a streamer and an erotica writer will do, but hey, let's see where it goes.

After this goes live I'll work on getting the chapter live on other sites, then I'll be back to writing chapter 17. Thank you all again for everything you do.

  Originally posted on my new website, www.bashfulscribe.com. It would mean the world to me if you checked it out.

 

(By the by, I still will always read this forum, so don't worry. If you prefer communicating here, I’ll still read and respond and stuff.)

[BashfulScribe]

I wrote a bit of Chapter 17 today and Monday. Now that I'm among the working class and likely to permanently stay there (as opposed to the hoity-toity atmosphere of college), I now have days off. It doesn't take a genius to notice that one of those days is Thursdays. It feels kind of weird having a job as opposed to working towards an education. When I was in college, I believed (or perhaps was deluded into believing) that I was working upwards, that I was climbing a mountain that had a goal to achieve on the other side. Now that I'm just working retail, I feel like I'm... just existing. That worries me a little. I want to make an impact on the world. The idea of just existing terrifies me.

Tweed (the pseudonym of my creative partner) has had to listen to a lot of crap from me. I've been complaining a lot ever since I've been given the boot out of college. It's a little weird that a low-brow video game streamer will have a degree but a writer will not, but then again maybe it's fitting. I don't necessarily need a degree to succeed. At this point, writing aside, I'm basically waiting for him to finish university then we move together. It's no secret that I'm from Ontario, so it's not too revealing to say we've been eyeing Toronto. Of course by the time that even becomes an option, we'll have already spent a year and a half working together. The aforementioned joint Patreon will by then be old news (and most likely shut down).

It would be nice to be paid to write. At the same time it seems wrong to charge people for stories since I've charged nothing since the beginning. Patreon seems to solve that problem, and I'm all too happy to offer content to people for free as long as I can support myself. If the Patreon takes off though, or hell, if Tweed gets popular on his own, there's so many other roads opened to us. Non-erotic stories on top of my own, video making (a creative process, not pornography), etc. Ultimately I don't really write for people to get off as much as for people to get in touch with my characters. I'm sure I don't need to say that sex is a very intimate act. While writing Being More Social's chapter 17, I'm also fleshing out a story heavily inspired by my own experiences involving someone I helped through math class in grade 12. I'm excited to write it. I don't really want to say this out loud, but I can't remember the last time I was excited to write something.

For those who are really into Youtube and Youtube animators specifically, the best way I can explain my situation involving my own interest levels is with OneyNG, the animator behind some silly skits called 'Leo & Satan' and 'Hellbenders.' Tweed showed me a podcast he was involved with a few weeks ago, and in one of the podcasts, OneyNG talked about animating and how he felt like he was at the end of his rope with animating, like he wasn't enjoying it anymore. I think we all feel like that from time to time, especially when we've been working on something for years. It's partially why I'm so slow to write things. To those who e-mail me wishing me well and encouraging me not to rush things, you're incredibly sweet, but there's a line between 'not rushing' and 'delaying because I really don't want to.' I don't want to sound like I don't want to write, I just don't really want to write Being More Social more often than not, but the obligation to finish it stops me from starting other stories. Thus, no writing gets done.

I went against this at one point when I started The Good, the Bad and the Molly, but as it turns out, having two stories on the go was somehow even more stupid of me. It just doubled my problem. At this point, even if I write two stories at once, I'll only publish one. My goal is to have something other than blogs finished every month. For those of you keeping track, that means finishing the next chapter within the next two weeks. And you know what? I've dawdled enough anyway. Regardless of how I feel about it, I started BMS and deserve to finish it for you all. My delayed chapters have already spurred enough consequences - even though I get the occasional email (and I love all of them), my AFF forum page is about as dead as they come. I kinda stopped my own community from happening. Oh well. Live and learn, right? I started doing this to see if I could make a second chance for myself. There's always a possibility of a 'no.' That said, this really doesn't stop at BMS. After that I resume the Good, the Bad and the Molly, then make the new story. There's also a sequel to BMS in there somewhere. No clue what order that's going to come in though. Time budgeting is a thing. Speaking of, I should quit rambling and actually get some storytelling done. If you're reading this, thanks for sticking with me. I appreciate you all.

 

Originally posted on my new website, www.bashfulscribe.com. It would mean the world to me if you checked it out.

[BashfulScribe]

One thing that could very well damn me in the long run has been made obvious in these two-and-a-half years I've spent writing: I'm not good at social media in any form. My private Facebook account is clunky and barely existent, my twitter is empty and small, and my attempts to make a forum have been laughable.

I was never really interested in getting a Twitter until I started writing anonymously. Sometimes I even wish that judgments made in the professional world didn't exist so I could do away with the fake, regrettably pretentious pseudonym and be free to make my online persona a little more... personal. I sometimes feel fake writing a tweet, or even a chapter. Blogs feel very real though, so I guess I'm grateful. 

I finished the first scene of chapter 17 this week. I'm a little behind, seeing as I need to have something tangible done by next week to fit my quota. Although if this week turns out to be hell, I'll excuse it as long as I release something in November. The scenes are getting a little difficult to write, as mentioned in the previous blog. Now that the characters aren't mysterious or leaving more to be desired, writing them can get a little daunting.

Which leads to a questionable point in my story. Many readers feel to an extent dissatisfied with how I portrayed May in recent chapters. I was tempted to not bring this up at all, since I firmly believe a story should be able to justify itself. After all, if I have to explain a character's motive for it to make sense, I'll need to be over the shoulder of every single reader. Not exactly feasible. That said, I would like to make a few points about the current situation involving May in particular.

A lot of erotic writing is safe. When it involves teenagers, the grand majority of stories I've seen are 'underdog' tales, wherein the usually male protagonist goes from a shy nobody to a stud. To an extent, a large amount of teen erotica is just this. It's either growing or discovery, those are the two major themes. Being More Social is totally about growing. That being said, a lot of authors don't really like to show their protagonists not always growing. They start off pathetic and always get better with no potholes in the road to success. I like to take that formula and shake it up. No one attains perfection, God knows I haven't. 

So in this 'underdog' tale, the lead protagonist becomes less shy, yes. He also makes stupid decisions constantly. He keeps getting dragged down to earth. He's hard on himself, but the world to him revolves around him. Sometimes he's an absolute asshole - a cheater, an outspoken moron, a wimp. The same goes for the people in his life, sometimes the people he was led to believe were good people. Enter May.

Sexual assault exists. Sexual assault with males being the victim exists. If you're into rape as a hypothetical fetish, you do you, but when it's played out in reality it's not sexy. So what the hell was Mr. BS thinking when he included sexual assault in his story? It wasn't sexy. But frankly, it wasn't meant to be. Sometimes I don't want people to get off to my chapters at all. I'm trying to experiment a little, and the point of the last few chapters wasn't so much sex as it was wondering what the hell it must be like to be in Adam's shoes. If people didn't like it, hopefully it was because it disrupted the flow of the story, not because it wasn't well written. If it was the latter, that's unfortunate, but if it's the former, that means you care about the character. Much like in *SPOILER* chapter five or six or whenever when Nicole's brother is introduced, but this time was different. In that instance, readers felt like they were Adam, wanting to help Nicole but not knowing what to say/do. They sympathized from afar. If I did this right, chapters fifteen and sixteen forced people to empathize with Adam, but I'm going to hope that very few of my readers were in his situation. Something bad happened to the main character, and it's difficult to know how to feel about it. 

So people lash out. They lash out at May, and to an extent, they lash out at me. I love that. They care so much about the characters, they're angry when their world is upset. That's the ultimate compliment to a writer, when a world feels so real that when something truly terrible happens, they're angry. People want to know why I couldn't have just left May as the sweet barely attainable love interest. Largely I'd say because if that person genuinely exists to you, you just didn't know them well enough. Everyone's an asshole to some degree, especially in high school. Every one of my characters is an asshole in some way. I'd hope that you, yes you the reader, disagreed with at least one decision every major character made at one point. That means I'm writing high schoolers correctly. 

Now if the sequence of events came out of nowhere or it was badly written, that's another story entirely. Fun fact, except for spelling errors I don't even edit my chapters anymore, because I want to get my raw account of what happened on the page. Once I finish the story I'll edit the whole thing, but until then, this whole thing is first edition. Maybe I'm writing these few chapters poorly, who knows. I would just rather write them poorly and try to be me than to write them in a way that pleases everyone, but it isn't the type of story I want to write. Does that make sense?

I'm planning a few extra goodies for the website that'll come in December. Nothing too amazing, don't get excited, but I hope you'll enjoy them. As well I'll be working on chapter 17 right after posting this. Like I said, my bare minimum quota is a chapter a month, and I've learned my lesson with taking my community for granted. You may not agree with my writing decisions sometimes, but hey, you're reading this. That counts for something, and I'm grateful you're here.

Originally posted on my new website, www.bashfulscribe.com. It would mean the world to me if you checked it out.

[BashfulScribe]

It's been a long week. Tiring. Rough for my self-esteem. I have to adjust to the best of my ability to my new life and surroundings. I feel silly complaining at all considering on a whole I'm still insanely privileged, but there you go.

I think this blog will be a short one. There's not much to say. I'll have more for you next week. I made leaps and bounds in chapter 17 yesterday. I wrote 4000+ words just in one sitting. That's getting rare for me. I understand that chapter 16 was far from my best, or so I'm told. I take this in stride, and I hope that 17 makes up for it. I personally think it does. So far, I feel decently confident with it.

That's really all I got. Not all of my blog posts have some deeper meaning or go on for days. I'd rather put that energy into writing what you're all here for, the story. I'll talk to you all later, and the chapter's coming out relatively soon.

Originally posted on my new website, www.bashfulscribe.com. It would mean the world to me if you checked it out.

 

[Starkz]

just finished chapter 18

 

It hurt like a motherfucker, Bashful. Fucking hurt like a motherfucker. I’m literally shaking, and getting that feeling in the pits of my stomach that just makes me want to throw up bile. 

I got a little too invested in Adam x Nicole, and damn it hurts. It hurts so, so badly.

 

Give me chapter 19.