She is the One

[Guest JD2000]

I love this story so much. And I love where its going. I so want Jack and Kayla to make it through college ok and have everything work out ok for them so they get married and stay together. But a part of me really wants to see Jack get with Vanessa, at least once, or maybe twice while him and Kayla are on this ‘break’. Maybe during another one of their ‘smoke sessions’ before he leaves to go home for the summer. Maybe its just me, but this is a story beat I feel happening and would actually kind of enjoy to see happen. Not so much for Kayla’s sake and I’m sure there would be some fall out from that happening, but I think its something Vanessa needs and even something Jack needs for perspective. I feel he gets so ‘locked or lost’ in his love for Kayla at times that he naturally pushes her away and maybe having a fling while they are on a break and while she takes some time away from him would free him from always being so much like that. Again, maybe its just me...

[Jashley13]

Chapter 145 is up! The next chapter will be the last chapter in the saga and I will be pushing through to get it done as soon as possible! Hope you are all well and happy  Enjoy the newest chapter!

[Jashley13]

Chapter 146 is up.

I’m sorry.

[Guest Aaron]

Oh my God. 

[Guest DavidS]

Well: [SPOILER ALERT – but I suppose that’s obvious!]

Feels like the way a soap opera ends when the viewing figures fall off.

Or to put it another way, plenty of scope for a new chapter starting “I awoke suddenly, in my bed at home, and realised I had had a terrible dream”.

[Guest brimner2004]

On 9/12/2020 at 3:08 AM, Guest Aaron said:

Oh my God. Depressing and disappointing

 

[Guest Aaron]

Come to think of it. This was foreshadowed in an earlier chapter. If i recall correctly Jack said something like “….No Amanda wasn’t the one that got killed in a car accident”

[Guest DavidS]

“This was foreshadowed in an earlier chapter. If i recall correctly Jack said something like “….No Amanda wasn’t the one that got killed in a car accident” “

Which brings up a more general point. This is a first person narration, and as is quite common with such stories, there are from time to time narrator/author ‘asides’ linking a present event to something happening in the future (in this story, most often relating to some aspect of theatrical practice or technique).

This makes me believe one of two propositions: either Jack does indeed recover from the accident, unlikely as his reporting of it makes that seem, in which case we can, perhaps, hope for a “She is the One (Two)” or some more elegant formulation; or Jashley has found that he has not the time or inclination to take the story as far as he had originally intended – in which case he would be far from the first to find himself in that position. The somewhat terse “Sorry” that accompanied the announcement of the last chapter points towards the latter interpretation. In which case, I suppose our only recourse is to demand our money back!!

[Guest PineapplePizza]

If that is the ending I will be quite sad. It will still have been a wonderful story though. Been following in the shadows for a long time!

[Jashley13]

Hey everyone!

So, I wanted to give some time for people to read the chapter before posting again. To settle the first matter right away: no, this is not the end of the story. Not at all! There will be more to come.

However!

I will be taking a short sabbatical from the story. After six straight years of working on it, I’ve yet to hit a point where writer’s block or exhaustion has kicked in, but just to ensure it doesn't actually hit, I’ll take some time away, let the story stay as it is before returning to it. I’ve got another project that I’ve been starting and I want to focus on that for a little while. Having two big writing projects at once is a rough prospect and isn’t much good for my mental faculties.

Never fear, though! I will not be gone forever and I will send updates when I have started working again. I’m not gonna leave you all in the lurch!

Second matter: after careful consideration, I have decided I will not be publishing this story. There are a few reasons for it, first and foremost of which is that this story just would not work as a book. Or as a series of books for that matter. Critics of the story are correct: it is rather rambly and follows its own format in terms of narrative. An ongoing online series works well for it but trying to constrain it to bindings and separate books is not truly feasible and I feel would hurt what I’ve done. This story has become a form of therapy for me and however much it might be improved by trimming back on the details and streamlining the story, I don’t want that to happen. It will stay as it is. My project that I will be working on may be published, but that is a story I am writing specifically for a book format, so we will see what happens there.

So once more, this is not a goodbye. Just a ‘till we see each other again’. You are all the best fans and readers a writer could hope for. I promise that when I return, I will be putting just as much effort into the story as I have so far; hopefully a little time away can help it feel fresh and I can return with a new flourish. Take care of yourselves, stay safe, and I will return soon!

Joe

[Guest Brimner2004]

4 hours ago, Jashley13 said:

Hey everyone!

So, I wanted to give some time for people to read the chapter before posting again. To settle the first matter right away: no, this is not the end of the story. Not at all! There will be more to come.

However!

I will be taking a short sabbatical from the story. After six straight years of working on it, I’ve yet to hit a point where writer’s block or exhaustion has kicked in, but just to ensure it doesn't actually hit, I’ll take some time away, let the story stay as it is before returning to it. I’ve got another project that I’ve been starting and I want to focus on that for a little while. Having two big writing projects at once is a rough prospect and isn’t much good for my mental faculties.

Never fear, though! I will not be gone forever and I will send updates when I have started working again. I’m not gonna leave you all in the lurch!

Second matter: after careful consideration, I have decided I will not be publishing this story. There are a few reasons for it, first and foremost of which is that this story just would not work as a book. Or as a series of books for that matter. Critics of the story are correct: it is rather rambly and follows its own format in terms of narrative. An ongoing online series works well for it but trying to constrain it to bindings and separate books is not truly feasible and I feel would hurt what I’ve done. This story has become a form of therapy for me and however much it might be improved by trimming back on the details and streamlining the story, I don’t want that to happen. It will stay as it is. My project that I will be working on may be published, but that is a story I am writing specifically for a book format, so we will see what happens there.

So once more, this is not a goodbye. Just a ‘till we see each other again’. You are all the best fans and readers a writer could hope for. I promise that when I return, I will be putting just as much effort into the story as I have so far; hopefully a little time away can help it feel fresh and I can return with a new flourish. Take care of yourselves, stay safe, and I will return soon!

Joe

 

[Guest BRIMNER2004]

So much left  to  he story and unanswered questions I like the idea of waking up from  a dream AGREE and soon LOL at 79 my heart can take it.Yes double meaning. LOL Good luck with the new project.

 

[Guest sorry]

sorry to be that guy but good grief, last chapter is a hot mess. what a weird “friend” group they all are. rings so hollow and untrue. Jack is so self involved. Imagine being angry at a friend for lying about his relationship and then feeling the victim. Yet he has no time for his brother or sisters lives , can't remember what pictures they've posted. Jack comes across pretentious , mentally juvenile and emotionally stunted. A kiss from Kayla is something to cherish? He's meant to be 19-20 ? Sounds like a child who's had a t-shirt signed by a celebrity and vows not to wash it.  His infatuation with Kayla borders on obsessive at worst and Disney level saccharine at best. . As a reader from the beginning I can't see how this is the same story. I think a break would be good for the writer. Some fresh ideas and time to write characters that are rounded young adults rather than caricatures they have become. 

 

[Guest Disagree!]

Sorry to completely disagree with the commentor above me but I think it’s a comment that comes from a place of more emotional stunting than he accuses Jack of. I mean, if MY friend lied to me for months and then just expected me to help him get back together with his girlfriend? Id be pissed too! And yeah i can see him wanting to cherish any sort of physical contact from a girl he loves when hes not gonna be able to see her for MONTHS. Honestly they come across like real people with real problems and real development. Jacks not perfect nor is anyone else. Seems like the commentor above me just wants everyone to be perfect and look at the whole world as if theyve already lived it. And be honest guy how many pictures of YOUR siblings do you remember that theyve posted online? I dont even remember how many Ive posted and Im the one who posted them! I see Jack as a flawed person trying his best to do better and struggling in a state of emotional maturity hes not quite at the point of yet. They felt more like caricatures at the beginning of the story than they do now honestly but i can forgive that because that was the start of the story.

[Guest Guest reply]

They are meant to be early twenties. How many of that age dont know whats been posted? How many dont chat to friends about how annoying their gf is and how hot others are. How many have 3 friends and talk like they are middle aged. How many 20 year olds talk about marriage its not 1940. 
of course jack and others are flawed but they are barely believable. Theres a lack of humour and fun between the characters. Jack defines his friends by relationship status. His only friends being couples and wanting them to stay together. Its so odd to me

[Guest guest]

You seem like your trying to say everyone has to act the same way. they dont. How many 20 year olds talk about marriage? I knew plenty who talked about it in high school and many o fthem dont know whats been posted. I barely know what my parents post or my own siblings post and im 19! And jack maybe talks with his friends about that stuff but Jashley doesnt have to write every single conversation they have just like he doesnt have to write down every single class that Jack goes to. And Jack loves Kayla. thats who he is. Hes faithful and doesnt want to talk about how hot others are. Maybe its odd that he wants his friends to stay together to you but i get it. He likes people being together. Hes a romantic. That was well established long ago at the beginning of the story. Remember how happy he was all of his friends had relationships? Remember how devastated he was when Joe cheated on Belle? With everyone changing relationship status and with his own in question, I get him maybe regressing a bit. And yeah I want that to change but having a character get to a point where I want them to change isnt a BAD thing. It means hes evolving and learning and changing and getting to be a better person.

And really? Three friends? He talks with LOTS of people! Have you read all of his conversations with the people in his department, the people back home, Rhona, all of them? Hes got lots of friends, just a few very close ones he likes talking to on a regular basis. Im the same way and im guessing a lot of other people are too. I get its odd to you but that doesnt mean its odd to anyone else. You dont have to keep reading it if you dont want.

[Guest Logman]

I’ve followed this story from the begining . At 77 I hope the saga ends before I do!  PS. I married my HS sweety and it’s been 57yrs

[Jashley13]

Hey everyone! Just looked at the last time I messaged and couldn’t believe how long it’s been! I hope you’re all doing well and have had plenty of time to relax and take care of yourselves and find the joy in your lives. This hiatus has actually been very good for me. Free from the self-obligation of attempting to get out a chapter at least every two weeks, I’ve taken a step back and can kind of look at the scope of everything and while I can honestly say I wouldn’t change anything up until this point, I’m going to be reevaluating how characters are and so forth from here on out. What does that mean? You’ll have to wait and see.

I don’t know that I will be starting the next chapter this month but I almost certainly will be by December, hopefully ready for Christmas! Thank you all so much for your support and criticisms and comments. It really means so much to me. I miss you all and I promise I shall return soon!

[Guest brimner24]

Glad  to see you back..I can’t wait till the next chapter

 

[Guest Chaotic_Evil_Monk]

I have finished till chapter 146 and its been a great story till now. I usually don’t read novels or really long stories but this is the first time in many years I have read a story this long. I always thought I would end up leaving the story mid-way when it stopped being interesting. But that hasn’t happened yet and I hope it never happens and I get to the end of it(if there is one).

The last chapter felt a little out of ordinary though. Joe and Jack’s reaction to the whole situation with Craig felt a little too much. Especially Joe who has made mistakes in past should have at least tried to understand what Craig was going through. They should have given a chance to explain himself.

Also I’m curious what’s going on with Belle. She was a good friend and had been nice to everyone in the group. But after the Halloween incident due to almost no fault of her own she was just cut-off from the group. And also everyone from the group just treated her like some stranger. Only Jack had ever done something to get her to be friends again. I really liked her character and it would be great if she is brought back into the story. 

And now I’m just eagerly waiting for the next part to come. Great work man !!

[Guest Sam_]

I want to thank you for this great series, I am so happy i stumbled upon it and it has basically ruined all other online stories for me, as none can compare. 

Hope to read the next chapter soon, but i understand that it takes a lot of work. Hope all is well. 

S

[Guest EFB]

On 12/2/2020 at 3:33 AM, Guest Sam_ said:

I want to thank you for this great series, I am so happy i stumbled upon it and it has basically ruined all other online stories for me, as none can compare. 

Hope to read the next chapter soon, but i understand that it takes a lot of work. Hope all is well. 

S

Can’t agree more!

[mfan2112]

On pins and needles waiting for the next installment.

[Guest anonymouse]

On 11/15/2020 at 5:45 AM, Guest Chaotic_Evil_Monk said:

I have finished till chapter 146 and its been a great story till now.

I’m so happy, took me forever to get up to chapter 22 and was dreading the possibility of having reached the middle, or even close to the end of the story, but i’m not even a quarter of the way through!! Ahhh!!!  !!!

[Jashley13]

Hey everyone! So sorry it took me a while to post again but I am hard at work on the next chapter. It should be out by or on Christmas Hope you are all having a happy holidays and staying safe wherever you are! Thank you all so much for all your support.