that-one-guy Posted June 20, 2016 Report Share Posted June 20, 2016 Anyone else go listen to northern lights after reading this? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thismy Posted June 20, 2016 Report Share Posted June 20, 2016 Quality, well written chapter. Had me sucked in the entire time. Jack had some serious development, and Rhona once again shows her value and character. I think Jack's apologies could have been a little different, and a tad less overbearing, but he made his point. I'm looking for some quality change, and maybe a little less shit to go down in the upcoming chapters. Specifically Jack and Kayla, together, facing challenges, and Jack going to Kayla for advice. I know a fair amount about trust issues, so I hope Jack can work forward. I don't mind the drama, but I could use a break. I'm sure Jack could use on too. Ii do realize that conflict and such are things that are very interesting, so at least someone else making a mistake, not Jack. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Long Posted June 20, 2016 Report Share Posted June 20, 2016 I'm up to the point where Jack got off the phone with Rhona, and I'm thinking, "Holy shit!" Jack just debated Belle whether Kayla is the One, on whether it's acceptable to walk away from one relationship if another one presents itself - and now while Kayla's at the prom, Jack is going to hang out in the apartment of a girl who has the hots for him. Can the next chapter begin "The Temptation Saga" ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Long Posted June 21, 2016 Report Share Posted June 21, 2016 Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand it did all come back and knock him flat on his ass. Wow. Jashley, I am sorry for ever doubting you, you very clearly know exactly what you're doing with this story. Now if you'll excuse me, I must go buy a candy bar and not eat it for one week as punishment for my lack of faith. Oh, the humanity. Jashley is very good at picking out pieces of what we suggest and weaving them into the story. I've been around here since the beginning, have read every forum comment, and can recognize some things that work their way in. TL;DR Maybe you didn't predict it, you may have suggested it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Long Posted June 21, 2016 Report Share Posted June 21, 2016 (edited) For the moment I'll just say, brilliant. Really touches on a lot of topics of how people think. I'll get back to that later, and it will verge into politics (but isn't politics about how we think and how we want to help people?) One thing I'll note, to complete what I posted earlier when I was still reading - the one time in this chapter where I got a reaction downstairs by what I was reading was when Jack and Rhona cuddled on the couch and she took his hand in hers. Nothing happened, but the emotional ground work has been laid for later on. They connected - and Kayla picked up on something. I get that reaction sometimes from my wife. "You listened to them but not to me?" It's not a jealousy fearing that the partner would run away, but a resentment that someone else had filled the role they they felt they should have. Edited June 21, 2016 by Joe Long Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chester57 Posted June 21, 2016 Report Share Posted June 21, 2016 Nice wrap up to the Voyeur Saga as Rhona did a good job of filling in for Dr. Fitzsimmons. She was absolutely right when she said that Jack needs to get more selfish and start looking out for Number One as he heads toward college. Since Iowa State is basically an engineering school I imagine he'll have an easier time than if he went to a liberal-arts university. Regarding Joe Long's observation-- I think the moment of truth for Jack and Rhona will come at the gamers' convention this summer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Long Posted June 21, 2016 Report Share Posted June 21, 2016 Yeah, it has nothing to do with your stupid gun laws. Nothing at all.... Gun laws didn't stop Bali. It's the evil in people's hearts. I noticed the little dig at Being More Social. It made me giggle a bit haha I missed it - can you reference? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
that-one-guy Posted June 21, 2016 Report Share Posted June 21, 2016 Basically Rhona was all 'do you think I was some big boobed older girl that gave freshmen their sexual awakening' or something to that effect but it was basically saying 'Do you think I'm Nicole' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Long Posted June 21, 2016 Report Share Posted June 21, 2016 Basically Rhona was all 'do you think I was some big boobed older girl that gave freshmen their sexual awakening' or something to that effect but it was basically saying 'Do you think I'm Nicole' Yep, good line but the connection flew over my head. Adam had a similar conversation about the meaning of life and sex, but as it was with one of his teachers there wasn't as much arguing and thus without the emotional breakdown that Jack had. Even in the last couple paragraphs of the chapter, Jack is still overthinking how much he believes he's solved his problem. Dude, just turn off your brain. If the big boobed girl stripped down in front of me and asked for sex? Fucking of course I'd want to, but my brain would be telling me it was inappropriate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
that-one-guy Posted June 21, 2016 Report Share Posted June 21, 2016 OK here's a topical discussion point. Would you rather be in Adams shoes or Jacks? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Long Posted June 21, 2016 Report Share Posted June 21, 2016 OK here's a topical discussion point. Would you rather be in Adams shoes or Jacks? On one hand - the women in their lives. Adam and Jack have both been cut off from sex. Jack has a loving boyfriend/girlfriend relationship to fall back on and wait it out. Adam who's two grades behind, and has yet to have an emotional attachment. He really does love Nicole, but she rejects any commitments. However, now that there is no sex, Adam has begun to try to build something romantic with Nicole and is making some progress. Jack has it there. By the time Adam's a junior he might be to where Jack is. On the other hand - the drama Adam has dealt exclusively with typical teen drama, most dealing with relationships and sex. Nicole had her brother die, and Adam was a witness to the Phil/May rape accusation. Jack finally cracked under the strain of having so much adult stuff in his life - directly witnessing suicide, prostitution, cheating, etc. For that, I'd rather be Adam. While I'm at it - Rhona's only been with four guys. I had suspected she could get laid whenever she wanted to, and I think that's still true, but apparently she wants to get laid a lot less that Jack or I thought. Opposite of Nicole, I think Rhona wants the emotional connection but knows that she's a very difficult person to love. She hasn't let Jack inside her pants, but she's opened herself up to him likely more than any other guy. Reminds me of something I was going to mention in reply to a PM that I need to get to (sorry). My son is close friends with a girl, but she still officially has a boyfriend. All of her Facebook photos are with my son, at the country club, furnishing his house, on their trip to New York together. Her parents love him. He says they've cuddled, but never had sex. And she still has another boyfriend. He wants to be with her, and I think this can be the real thing that he's never had yet, but he's waiting for her to be available. I see Rhona in that same situation, working her way into Jack's life while she waits. (Of course, Kayla might break her knee caps) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chester57 Posted June 22, 2016 Report Share Posted June 22, 2016 It occurred to me that we haven't heard much about the 'folks' lately. I wonder if Blanche and Don and Chester and Mary are still hanging out together after that overnight Christmas party. Maybe they'll grab Hannah and Mike and all six of them will go up to the cabin this summer. I doubt that Jack and Kayla will have time now that both of them are working. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest TadDave Posted June 22, 2016 Report Share Posted June 22, 2016 Gun laws didn't stop Bali. It's the evil in people's hearts. This is half true. Either way, the rest of the civilised world is shaking their heads thinking "you morons" because of the inaction in the US. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Long Posted June 22, 2016 Report Share Posted June 22, 2016 This is half true. Either way, the rest of the civilised world is shaking their heads thinking "you morons" because of the inaction in the US. I'm trying to figure out which half isn't true, but you can find me on Twitter if you wish to continue the discussion. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest PatPatriot Posted June 23, 2016 Report Share Posted June 23, 2016 Can the next chapter begin "The Temptation Saga" ?Noooooooooooo! Almost ANYTHING but that!Any story arc like "Jack doesn't get sex from Kayla, Jack ist sexually frustrated, girls (like Rhona) pick up on that, girls go after Jack, Jack is tempted and (almost) gives in to the temptation" would turn Jack into a complete as$hole and would ruin the entire SITO epic. Kayla is supposed to be THE ONE and Jack is supposed to be the goodie two shoes white knight who always wants to do the right thing! An entire saga centered around girls trying to steal him away from Kayla and him (almost?) giving in to those pursuits would be UNBEARABLE! BTW: @Jashley: Thanks for leaving the pipe bomb out of the voyeur saga! It would've ruined everything! Instead Ch. 52 is a worthy finale to great (while sometimes not pleasurable) saga! At times, Jack and his drama simply seemed too damn much. But all is well that ends well and if Jack (as a person) can grow from this drama and all the $hit he had to endure and maybe, just maybe, can have so drama-free time to enjoy life as a teenager, this will be perfect! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Long Posted June 23, 2016 Report Share Posted June 23, 2016 (edited) Noooooooooooo! Almost ANYTHING but that! Any story arc like "Jack doesn't get sex from Kayla, Jack ist sexually frustrated, girls (like Rhona) pick up on that, girls go after Jack, Jack is tempted and (almost) gives in to the temptation" would turn Jack into a complete as$hole and would ruin the entire SITO epic. Kayla is supposed to be THE ONE and Jack is supposed to be the goodie two shoes white knight who always wants to do the right thing! An entire saga centered around girls trying to steal him away from Kayla and him (almost?) giving in to those pursuits would be UNBEARABLE! The crumbs are there, the seeds have been sown. Belle and the philosophy question has put doubts into Jack's mind, even if he resisted the notion that Kayla might not be 'The One.' Kayla danced alone while Jack went to Rhona's apartment, one on one. Rhona has said, "If I stripped down naked and offered myself, you know you'd want me." Rhona hugged Jack to her chest, cuddles with him on the couch, and held hands with him. Kayla flashed jealousy at Jack not only confiding in Rhona, but changing on her advice, when he didn't for Kayla. Jack's parents questioned why he was with Rhona. Jack will be taking an out of town, over night trip, alone with Rhona. Even if Jack is a perfect gentleman and does nothing wrong, it's simply the appearance of impropriety, of being with the wrong person in the wrong place at the wrong time, that will have everyone doubt him. People will lose trust in Jack, who's already demonstrated he can make stupid decisions and then not admit that he'd done anything wrong. Edited June 23, 2016 by Joe Long Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chester57 Posted June 23, 2016 Report Share Posted June 23, 2016 Jack will be taking an out of town, over night trip, alone with Rhona. Even if Jack is a perfect gentleman and does nothing wrong, it's simply the appearance of impropriety, of being with the wrong person in the wrong place at the wrong time, that will have everyone doubt him. True enough. I even wonder if Kayla might 'retaliate' and take an out-of-town trip of her own. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jashley13 Posted June 23, 2016 Report Share Posted June 23, 2016 Hey everyone! Time for the Reality Check: - The whole prostitution ring, I think I mentioned before, was based on somethiing that actually happened at my school. As far as I know, no one ever got involved the way Jack did and the police were, I assume, quick to act on it, so I had to stretch their inactivity just a little longer. Then again, I have no clue how long it was going on at my school, so...there you go. - The scenario Mr. Owens gave the Philosophy class is the exact same one I got while in the same class. All of Jack's responses were my own and I still believe, to this day, that the guy in the scenario made the wrong choice. Unfortunately, as Jack found, real life ended up bowing to the lucky happenstance. - I was able to go to my Junior Prom but I had a friend who was grounded from it for...actually, I don't remember what he was grounded for. I remember that his siblings were all allowed to go and I remember him saying that he just couldn't be with them in pictures, since it would have made him feel like too much crap. - Jack's conversation with Rhona is basically a compilation of several different conversations I had towards the end of high school, when I was getting myself ready for college. I can't say that I immediately took it to heart (nor, honestly, can I say that it will immediately work for Jack) but it was advice that I carried around with me for a long time and it helped me to become the person I am today. - Rhona's 'pensive song' is also my 'pensive song'. For those of you who don't know, it's called 'Northern Lights' by Jaymes Young. Check it out, it's an amazing song. That's about all I had for the last chapter. Thank goodness that Saga is over. It was really starting to drain me emotionally and helping Jack find something of an equilibrium in his emotional life is as much of a relief as I can get when I write. Just a side-note, I won't be saying when the pipe bomb will be coming into the story but I will say that Rhona is definitely not an older Nicole from Being More Social. Not at all. They are two completely different people and, as of yet, BashfulScribe and I have no plans to further cross our stories other than the one time Carson visited. Sorry if that's a little disappointing but our stories are going in completely different directions (my story is at least a year ahead of his) and it would just be too complicated. Big emotional hurdles have been past and brighter skies are ahead. I can't promise that it will be completely free of drama but I can say that the Travel Saga will certainly be much lighter than the previous few. See you guys soon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chester57 Posted June 24, 2016 Report Share Posted June 24, 2016 Big emotional hurdles have been past and brighter skies are ahead. I can't promise that it will be completely free of drama but I can say that the Travel Saga will certainly be much lighter than the previous few. Jack and Rhona travelling to the gamers' convention and then Jack and Kayla travelling to check out Iowa State-- no way those two trips will be drama-free. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Dark Posted June 24, 2016 Report Share Posted June 24, 2016 Jack and Rhona travelling to the gamers' convention and then Jack and Kayla travelling to check out Iowa State-- no way those two trips will be drama-free. As Kayla has a car now, she could also try to follow Jack and Rhona, worried that something may happen between the two, not that anything would. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Long Posted June 25, 2016 Report Share Posted June 25, 2016 As Kayla has a car now, she could also try to follow Jack and Rhona, worried that something may happen between the two, not that anything would. I think that Jack will not do anything wrong, but no one will believe him. "Jack, why can't you admit it was a stupid decision to go out of town with Rhona?" "But I didn't do anything wrong!" "That's what you always say - grow up!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chester57 Posted June 25, 2016 Report Share Posted June 25, 2016 As Kayla has a car now, she could also try to follow Jack and Rhona, worried that something may happen between the two, not that anything would. That reminded me of a question I've had for some time now. How come Jack has never said much about his ride? If I had had my own car at 16/17 I would never have shut up about it. Don't try and tell me that a PS4 is a bigger status symbol than having your own wheels. At that age I only had ​one ​close friend who was given a car by his parents, but gas, insurance and maintenance were his responsibility. Either priorities have changed or Jack just isn't a 'car' guy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thismy Posted June 26, 2016 Report Share Posted June 26, 2016 Travel saga definitely sounds interesting. It'll be fun to see where it goes. More light-hearted is exactly what I want to see, so thanks for that. Long term thoughts on the story are still forming for me, but I may have some overview sooner than later. The question is, when will Jack have to be saved? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jashley13 Posted June 27, 2016 Report Share Posted June 27, 2016 Good news everyone! I'm at the halfway point of Chapter 53 Having a lighter, more relaxed tone is certainly helping the process and I'm hoping to continue that speed through the rest of the chapter. Updates to follow. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BashfulScribe Posted June 28, 2016 Report Share Posted June 28, 2016 Update your story faster. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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