[HELP] Trouble Breaking a Story’s Plot

[DevilDuck]

I threatened that I was going to do this and now I have.

I’m in the middle of writing a multichapter story (which can be read elsewhere) and I’m struggling to fill in some gaps in my outline which affect the rhythm of the piece. Given the nature of the problem both this thread and the above link contain spoiler for the story in question.

The story is my take on the Master PC idea (if you’re not familiar with it think of it as a digital genie); instead of following the first person in a group to get the program and seeing their orders as they are made my story focuses on the daughter of that person as she takes ‘control’. This creates something of a repeated pattern wherein an order is brought to the girls attention and the father is then punished for.

• The first chapter sees both daughter and son separately discovering that their father has the program; she is focused on setting things right while he is focused on manipulating his sister into using the program for his benefit.
  
• The second chapter is the first confrontation with their father and after a little exposition he is made permanently impotent.
  
• Chapter three is something of two-fer; first the father’s penis is shrunk while the son’s is expand for reasons of ‘irony’. This is then followed up by the mother’s sexual fixation being transferred to the son since the father can no longer fulfill her needs.
  
• Chapter four follows up on that with the daughter being unable to sleep do to the noise of the incestuous fucking going on down the hall (the sound damping effect being removed from the house to further torment her father).
  

Those four chapters, as far as I’ve written, cover the events of one Friday afternoon and evening while my next planned point is Monday morning. No longer able to satisfy the harem he’d turn his office into the father has to call upon his children for help. This sets up a series of chapters wherein the boy fills in with his dick while the girl is unwittingly sent through the same sexual programing as the other new hires. Eventually, after the son has completely displaced their father in all aspects of life he, the man, will be completely feminized and turned into the family’s maid which leads into the end game.

My primary problem is getting from Friday night to Monday morning (I don’t want to just skip the weekend) but there is room to add in details later on so if you have questions, suggestions, angry rants let me know. Oh, and thank you.

[magusfang]

Have the sister and brother confront each other then try and wrestle control from the other. It can culminate with the brother finally gaining the upper hand and tricking the sister into taking the harem programming; he then completely takes over or you an actually have the sister eventually turn the tables on him, feminize the brother right along with the father and daughter and mother take over...maybe turn dom and use the two new sissy's

[DevilDuck]

I was hoping there would be more suggestions before I circled back around but oh well.

@Magusfang

I have a few reasons why your suggestion won't work for me that I will hopefully layout in a clear manner:

0) I'm not really into feminization so I'm not likely to add more to the story.

1) So far the son's 'control' has been subtle; he's been making suggestions or asking leading questions so that each step seems to be the daughter's idea.

2) Something of cliche with these stories is the mid-story switch up wherein one of the subjects gains control; not only do I want to avoid that cliche that is kinda where this story starts.

3) Lastly and most importantly it would get in the way with my planned downer ending. The thing that most upset the daughter, that sent her off on her path of revenge was that the program was setup to keep her sixteen, every year she would turn sixteen again with everyone's memories being altered to match. My planned final chapter is to show the family celebration her birthday after all the changes and end with the reveal of the sixteen candles on her cake.

[magusfang]

Wow, that has to be the most comprehensive no I've ever gotten LOL

[DevilDuck]

Elsewhere someone suggested that the daughter should just kill the father, that to do anything else would in the long term just be sadistic... I'm not sure they got the point of the story.

[JayDee]

A lot of office drones have to work Saturday mornings (sometimes longer) anyhow. It wouldn't be skipping the weekend to simply have Monday morning's events take place on Saturday morning.

Otherwise, look at what folks do on weekends when not working and see how you can apply your themes to it. Going Shopping, or to the movies, or doing yardwork, or going temple or church or or picnics or theme parks or whatever. I try to write porn, which probably would not be appropriate. At the very least, it could risk becoming recursive.

[magusfang]

Oh wait, she substitutes dinamite for her birthday candles!

The Wile E Coyote gambit is always a winner

[DevilDuck]

@JayDee

I once read a short comedy piece about a porn writer trying to work but being pestered by his highly sexed live-in girlfriend.