Review replies for "Little Blonde Monster"

[GeorgeGlass]

Hello, fans of pervy Phineas and Ferb fiction! If you are kind enough to review my story "Little Blonde Monster," I will reply here.

WARNING: This thread contains spoilers for the story (because the reviews do). If you haven't yet read "Little Blonde Monster" and you think you might want to, I strongly recommend clicking the link above and going for it before looking at the rest of this thread.

Edited August 7, 2014 by GeorgeGlass

[GeorgeGlass]

Belfry 2014-07-22 id # 3000069473

A promising start for the first chapter. Can't wait for the next one!

Thank you! The next chapter will have a bit more action and a bit less interior monologue, but I have hope that it will be just as enjoyable.

[GeorgeGlass]

xXDasXGoochXx 2014-07-22 id # 3000069475

This...is amazing. you...are amazing, such a faptastical beginning of a story i can't wait to finish. As a erotica writer, i can safely say that this story is extremley well thought out and more than just porn with a plot poorly wrapped around it. good on ya, mate!

Thank you, and more thank you! And I shall remember the word "faptastical" for the rest of my days. I hope you'll enjoy the rest just as much.

On an unrelated note, I'm sorry about your Tumblr account apparently being nuked. Happens to the best of us. Oh, and me.

[GeorgeGlass]

Jomahawk2694 2014-07-23 id # 3000069478

You evil, sadistic ass!

You know, when you say that, it sounds like a compliment.

Suzy is the devil, I am now fully convinced.

Seriously. Try as he might, Dr. Doofenschmirtz isn't even close to her level of evil.

I can't wait to see you put her in her place.

Hmm, but what if her place is a throne? Or a corner office?

Also, good to have you back man.

Jomahawk

Good to be back, and thank you!

[GeorgeGlass]

Primus0 davidrgarcia@live.com 2014-07-23 id # 3000069479

Very well written.

Thank you!

I wish I could dream of writing this well.

All it takes is practice and someone to offer constructive criticism.

This is the first story of yours I've read and I intend to read the rest.

As I note at the beginning, my other P&F stories have a very different tone from this one. If you want something more in this kind of vein, you might look at some of my original stories.

I will say this though, I'm thoroughly dissaponted this will only be 3 chapters.

Hey, length isn't everything. There's also girth.

Great work! I can't wait for the rest of the story.

Thank you!

[GeorgeGlass]

Jomahawk2694 2014-07-26 id # 3000069483

Okay, first and foremost; you are a sadistic ass! (And I mean that as the highest form of compliment ;-) )

And I take it as such.

Secondly, remember the first couple of reviews I wrote for you? The ones saying that your stories were so true to the show that it seemed like a script that came from a P&F writer who had watched a few too many pornos? I find it a bit scary that if the show were a rated x adults only, instead of the awesome kids show it is, this is how I assume Suzy would act. Your talent is quite good, even when applied to the dark side such as the little blonde spawn of Satan of the tri-state area.

Thank you! Suzy's need to compete with Candace to be Jeremy's "favorite girl" has always struck me as creepily incestuous, so this story seemed like a plausible extrapolation from her behavior on the show. And, of course, I'm having fun imagining all the sick stuff that goes on in her head. (I seem to have a fetish about women as sex offenders; it's a recurrent theme in a lot of my original stories, most notably "Side Effects" and "Cruel Nature.")

Finally, on another, less creepy note, I never thought I would actually learn something educational from reading your stories. Naming her dog Bella after a lethal herb and not a...blemish on vampire lore, was quite the expert touch

Thanks. Belladonna ("beautiful woman" in Italian), also known as deadly nightshade, is known in folklore as a favorite poison of witches. Rumor has it Livia, wife of Augustus Caesar, used belladonna to kill him and maybe other people, too. So it seemed an appropriate name for a female dog trained by a female sociopath.

I simply can't wait for the conclusion! So please do us a favor and make it snappy!

The deadline for a story contest I want to enter is coming up in a few days, so I really need to finish that story (which I'll post here on AFF, of course). That said, given my lousy attention span, I'm sure I won't be able to help but spend at least a little of that time on "Little Blonde Monster," too.

Your favorite fan

Jomahawk

That you are--if for no other reason than that you're my only self-proclaimed fan.

Aysha 2014-07-26 id # 3000069485

wow that is one twisted little kid!

good story!

Thank you! I do my best to bring the madness.

[GeorgeGlass]

xXDasXGoochXx 2014-07-27 id # 3000069487

oh my...you sir....

Um, thanks, I guess?

[GeorgeGlass]

SWK 2014-08-03 id # 3000069500

Man, while it's a dark story, a huge, big part of me doesn't want Suzie to win, at all. In fact, after what she did, I want her to be totally and utterly defeated. Jeremy had been the obcession of Candance for far too long, and Phineas & Ferb know their sister way better than her own parents. Such a change wouldn't be noticeable at first, but they will notice.

And while Phineas optimism is his mark, he had shown that he could be snarky and devious when he wants. Ferb who has been shown to be even much more mature would surely notice such a thing, and let's not begin with Perry. Who will never forgive that dog for what he did to a member of his family.

If Suzie wins, I beg of you. Make an sequel when she is slowly and deliberately taken down, not only by P&F, but Candance herself.

Please man, as a faithful reader of yours, make that bitch pay, if not in the third part, then on an Oneshot sequel.

Normally, the length of my response to a review is roughly proportional to the length of the review itself, because I generally respond to each point the reviewer makes. In this case, however, there's really no substantive response I can make to your comments that wouldn't constitute a massive spoiler.

So I'll just say this: Thanks for the review, and stay tuned!

Edited August 4, 2014 by GeorgeGlass

[GeorgeGlass]

Jomahawk and SWK: Your reviews touched on similar points, so I'm going to reply to them simultaneously.

Jomahawk wrote: I mean holy hot damn! It must be Christmas morning and nobody told me! You have once again out done both yourself and the show, mr. Glass, and I happily remove the brand of sadistic ass from you, and instead bestow the title, best smut writer ever. Of all time. To finally have the faux Goldie Locks get punished the way she deserves has easily made this story one of my favorites from you. The fact that Candace used the one thing Suzy could never fathom to beat the little blonde bitch is very wholly satisfying, and the fact that she had every base covered made it all the better.

SWK wrote: Well, thank you sir. My heart was skipping the whole chapter, pondering if Suzy would win... and wow, you surprised me in such a way that even I couldn't predict what you had in mind! Candace was masterfully done. She is indeed a marvelous actress as not even the readers could see that until the end. I guess, we have been understimating the girl.

Thank you very much, guys.

The ending is surprising in part because the story is told entirely from Suzy's extremely limited and distorted point of view. As I tried to illustrate through her thoughts and fantasies, her expectations are heavily colored by her twisted view of the world.

One of the hallmark traits of a psychopath (or whatever they're called these days; I've lost track) is a lack of empathy. Although psychopaths can be great charmers and manipulators of people, they can't really see things from another person's perspective. Thus, Suzy assumes that everyone thinks more or less the way she does, and that any differences between their behavior and hers are merely the result of societal brainwashing, weakness, or stupidity. Suzy doesn't understand love or generosity, so she assumes that they doesn't really exist; love is just an attractive disguise for lust, and generosity always has strings attached. Thus, it never occurs to her that Candace might have feelings for Jeremy strong enough to overbalance Suzy's ability to intimidate her, or that Phineas and Ferb would help Candace simply because she asked. And Suzy's ideas about Jeremy's sexuality are largely a projection of her own savage erotic urges.

As a result, Candace didn't even have to be that good an actress--she just had to play along with Suzy's expectations. The most effective lies are often those that the listener wants to believe.

Jomahawk wrote: The only thing that could have made this better was if you had written Suzy's rape, or at the very least written some of the things her former troops were doing to make her scream.

SWK wrote: Shame we never saw Suzy's humiliation

I gave a lot of thought to the point at which the story should end, and I seriously considered depicting some or all of Suzy's revenge-rape. And I will confess that the main reason why I denied you, the reader, that gratification is that I didn't know how to write that scene. Specifically, I didn't know what would be going through Suzy's mind, and because the whole story is written from Suzy's viewpoint, that was a dealbreaker. It wouldn't be satisfying if Suzy were in denial of the whole thing or had some sort of dissociative experience, and leaving her swearing horrible revenge against Candace would undermine Candace's victory.

Besides, closing the door on the villain as they scream "NOOOOOO!" is such a classic story-ending device, I couldn't pass up the chance to use it.

Jomahawk wrote: And then, as its happening, Candace rushes up to Jeremy's room, and begins getting it on with him to make sure that Jeremy doesn't hear his little creeper getting her comuppance. But it's ok, that's what imagination is for

Again, the story is meant to be read entirely from Suzy's perspective, and she wouldn't know what Candace was up to after she left the shed. Besides, the shed is plenty soundproof thanks to Suzy's corrugated-cardboard "decorations" (which is meant to make Suzy's defeat all the sweeter, given that she is effectively caught in her own trap).

SWK wrote: hoping the dogs don't pay the price later for putting her on her rightful place.

I meant to imply (but didn't, really) that Candace and the dogs would be watching each other's backs from then on.

Jomahawk wrote: I thank you again for writing it, and I'm looking forward to reading it again and again, just as I have for many of your works.

I honestly can't wait to see what you do next!

Again, good work, and glad to see your hiatus didn't rob you of your immense talent.

SWK wrote: Slow clapping to you, man. Slow clapping as I liked this quite a lot!

Thanks again, guys. I am glad you both liked this one so much.

Other P&F stories are in the works, of course, but I'm not sure yet which one will be sucking up valuable bandwidth next. And, of course, there's a mess of original stories in progress, too. (I generally have 10 to 20 stories--I kid you not--in various stages of development at any given time.)

With respect and gratitude,

George

[GeorgeGlass]

Ron 2014-08-07 id # 3000069514

I loved it all I really want to see what happens next.

Thanks!

Ron kingofmonsters1@Gmail.com 2014-08-07 id # 3000069515

I don't really want to see a sequel where Suzy wins.But I do want to see what the dogs did to make her scream.

I know, I disappointed some folks by leaving that out. See my response to Jomahawk and SWK's reviews (above) for an explanation.

[GeorgeGlass]

Fairy-Slayer 2014-08-18 id # 3000069563

It's a wonderful story, with a nice view into the disturbing darkness that fills little Suzy Johnson almost as much as she wants Jeremy to fill her. The introduction was actually quite touching, with how much she loves the thunderstorms and why, besides just being a way to get into Jeremy's bed.

Thank you! Although the description of why Suzy loves thunderstorms was meant in part to illustrate her psycho mindset, given that she loves them for their power and frightfulness.

The clueless boy is sweet all the way through, and nice that he's a deep sleeper so we could get the first great bit of sex – with her reactions to it being no less delightful.

In the episode "Canderemy," it looked like Jeremy was capable of sleeping through just about anything, so that seemed like something Suzy could exploit.

Then it was delicious to tap into the various fantasies Suzy harbored.

I found it a little disturbing just how much I enjoyed writing Suzy's fantasies. I suppose I should concede that, just as Suzy projects her sick sexual desires onto Jeremy, perhaps I'm projecting my own onto Suzy.

And I must say, her combination of evil and lust proved quite delectable as she trapped Candace and tore away every shred of her will and dignity. (Or so she thought. )

The more evil they are, the more fun it is to watch them fall.

The whole trap played out like something we'd expect, even if a bit more intense than an actual episode would ever be. I definitely felt the redhead's utter defeat when I read it, and the beastie scenes were (appropriate) more painful than erotic, but definitely enough of the latter to be quite good. Of course I was half-expecting a turnaround at the end, but I wasn't at all sure this wouldn't be a Betty Davis movie (where the bad woman always somehow wins anyway).

Suzy's defeat was actually one of the first parts of this story that I thought up. Then it was all about how we get from point A to point B and see all the twisted sights along the way.

Then when I heard Candace's phone barking... Well, I knew the gig was up, and that she could rely on her brothers to save her when she really needed it. The only thing that gave me pause was Suzy saying how Candace couldn't control her brothers – perhaps Suzy knew about the busting thing but didn't realize that the boys often do things for Candace. (They just don't work out as planned.) It's easy to go with the "Suzy was grasping at anything to rationalize herself out of defeat" thing, yes, because I'm thinking more as the viewer than as what Suzy would see. Okay.

I had been thinking of the episode in which Suzy uncharacteristically tried to help Candace control her brothers, and Candace failed anyway.

So I really enjoyed the tale and especially Candace's victorious ending.

Thanks!

Now go put on some pants.

Pants are an illusion! (Bonus points if you get the reference.)

[Maxsteele1986]

I was honestly surprised that Candace won in the end. Will we get a sequel where Suzy is reformed and willing to share Jeremy with Candace?

Edited February 19, 2021 by Maxsteele1986

[GeorgeGlass]

On 2/18/2021 at 10:29 PM, Maxsteele1986 said:

I was honestly surprised that Candace won in the end. Will we get a sequel where Suzy is reformed and willing to share Jeremy with Candace?

Not planning a sequel to that one. This version of Jeremy would never dream of doing anything remotely sexual with his little sister. (Not like in "Dark Dreams, Forbidden Fantasies,” in which he literally did dream of it.)

[Guest Captain Texas]

What I'd really like to see is an interquel between chapters two and three of this about Candace telling her brothers about what happened and them comforting her and helping her get vengeance.

[GeorgeGlass]

8 hours ago, Guest Captain Texas said:

What I'd really like to see is an interquel between chapters two and three of this about Candace telling her brothers about what happened and them comforting her and helping her get vengeance.

How do you even pronounce that word? IN-ter-quel? In-TER-quel?

Not planning any add-ons to that story right now, but I do have a new P&F story in the works in which Candace and Suzy (and every other girl in Danville) are basically sex slaves.

[Guest Captain Texas]

On 3/12/2021 at 7:44 AM, GeorgeGlass said:

How do you even pronounce that word? IN-ter-quel? In-TER-quel?

Not planning any add-ons to that story right now, but I do have a new P&F story in the works in which Candace and Suzy (and every other girl in Danville) are basically sex slaves.

Aww... well maybe someday.

My only other comment is that even if Jeremy had seen the video I don't think he would break up with Candace. Rather, he'd be more concerned with who was responsible for his girlfriend getting raped by a dog and filming it. A trail that would lead him to his baby sister. A revelation like that could break a man.

[GeorgeGlass]

21 hours ago, Guest Captain Texas said:

Aww... well maybe someday.

My only other comment is that even if Jeremy had seen the video I don't think he would break up with Candace. Rather, he'd be more concerned with who was responsible for his girlfriend getting raped by a dog and filming it. A trail that would lead him to his baby sister. A revelation like that could break a man.

I’m sure that’s true. 

[FairySlayer]

1 hour ago, GeorgeGlass said:

22 hours ago, Guest Captain Texas said:

Aww... well maybe someday.

My only other comment is that even if Jeremy had seen the video I don't think he would break up with Candace. Rather, he'd be more concerned with who was responsible for his girlfriend getting raped by a dog and filming it. A trail that would lead him to his baby sister. A revelation like that could break a man.

I’m sure that’s true.  

…especially if he had already been a little turned on by the video – then instantly horrified to realize that his baby sister's involvement made him insane with lust!

(One can dream… )

[GeorgeGlass]

On 4/7/2021 at 8:19 PM, FairySlayer said:

…especially if he had already been a little turned on by the video – then instantly horrified to realize that his baby sister's involvement made him insane with lust!

(One can dream… )

Dang it FS, stop putting sequel ideas in my head!

[Guest Captain Texas]

On 4/7/2021 at 9:19 PM, FairySlayer said:

…especially if he had already been a little turned on by the video – then instantly horrified to realize that his baby sister's involvement made him insane with lust!

 

 

 

(One can dream… )

Queue Jeremy starting to wear a chastity cage at home to protect himself from little Suzy's predations. (And because it turns out he's a sub to Candace's dom)