MajorMarioc Posted May 5, 2015 Report Posted May 5, 2015 The one who dies is most likely becca but no idea really with how it is written I did notice a big error I noticed and had to reread "“No, I won’t run!” Stacey interrupted with a confident nod, ”I can either hold my head up or cower under what my father did the rest of my life. I’m not letting that bastard ruin one more day!”" Is Kara talking Quote
Guest *insert witty username* Posted May 5, 2015 Report Posted May 5, 2015 Yeah, and in the parking lot, Amy says Eight here..." instead of "Right here..." But who cares, coz the chapter is up =) Quote
magusfang Posted May 5, 2015 Author Report Posted May 5, 2015 Mmmm, blame the wifey...hehe, nice to be able to stand back and point hehe Quote
crazychickhull Posted May 5, 2015 Report Posted May 5, 2015 Ok magus I'm giving you two weeks to post the first chapter of sitg or else I'm sending all the characters of gitg and northstar to hunt you down. Another great chapter but damned cliffhangers no wonder I'm crazy! 😫 Quote
MajorMarioc Posted May 5, 2015 Report Posted May 5, 2015 I just herd the Dr's talking outside my room about how miracle like getting shot in the head with this short recovery time just doesn't happen now I've been freaked out for a while about the extent of my injuries and being paranoid is what keeps me and my men alive but I'm starting to freak the hell out if I did die in that room my helmit has a hole I can fit my closed fist three idk if it's normal to feel like this I mean I can limp and it's been like no time Quote
crazychickhull Posted May 5, 2015 Report Posted May 5, 2015 Hey major don't look a gift miracle in the mouth you survived and you will recover fully in time. Look after yourself don't try rushing things or pushing too hard too fast. CCH COJimmyV and Sniper014 2 Quote
MajorMarioc Posted May 5, 2015 Report Posted May 5, 2015 Sorry ignore that post I get bad moments sometimes Dr calls it survivors guilt Quote
that-one-guy Posted May 5, 2015 Report Posted May 5, 2015 To the major, good luck and god speed your recovery. You really are a lucky SOB. To Magus, EVIL EVIL EVIL EVIL EVIL EVIL EVIL AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH.But great chapter and hurry up and write more Rescue25 1 Quote
angeldust Posted May 5, 2015 Report Posted May 5, 2015 No need to apologise for how you feel just remember to always be thankful for what time you are given. There are enough here that have been in similar situaations that understand and also don't mind the bitching, it's part of the healing. Now as for this chapter; sorry I was disappointed in it. I thought once again too much time was spent on the niceness with no action, just like the past two chapters. We should have heard from the extraction teams by now and that sub should have been picked up by some one if it's within the territorial waters. I think you stated that Jeeves had a mile out electronics scope so where was this sub? I hope that you have some NorthStar tide me overs or should I pick up my keyboard? He fangface get a pad with keyboard for travelling. I got one for $137.22. Lenovo tablet 10.5 inch MT6582 Quad Core Tablet PC 3G Phone Screen 1024*768 5.0MP Camera 2GB/32GB Android 4.4.2 (KitKat) Bluetooth, GPS & allows 32GB TFT card included a keyboard case. Quote
Sniper014 Posted May 5, 2015 Report Posted May 5, 2015 sort of an anthology....hmmm, I kinda like it. Cat invents something earth shattering and she and han go on the run when the government tries to kill them and take it away... So, am back on the grid...wife is mad I made her proofread the story, but I gotta say, I think she caught more errors than I ever do (That's right, still an ocean away and already sucking up to the wife!) Have already started Shadows in the Grass on my phone...hate writing on the phone but laptop is too much to hump through the mountains. Anywho, can anyone guess who dies in the gym? Emma, Nadi, The babies, or a combination there of? I have already written that scene as a flashback, its so sad... Also we lose another girl in an ambush as two are wounded, one dies and one is captured... so two dead in the first chapter... Oops, outta beer! Oh Bar wench! I beleive that if any of Max's inner family is hurt or killed by the Shadow Group that Max will release the gates of hell on the world and heaven help anyone that gets in his way. I can see him releasing his version of the terminators on Washington DC and anyother power that has anything to do with hurting Emily, Amy, Becca, Nadi or Alice and the group. He will bring fire and brimstone to them. They will think that they woke up not only on the wrong side of the tracks but that the train ran over them and backed up to do it again. Remember that he is building bigger and stronger spiders, flyers and Mech Suits. Little puny people will stand no chance against them and Legion. Can't wait for chapter one of book three to see who pays for their deeds. Rescue25 1 Quote
MajorMarioc Posted May 5, 2015 Report Posted May 5, 2015 I am just wondering how long time laps it will be between book 2 and 3 will it be months or a year the twins won't stand for anything happening to any of them if nadi is hurt they will be out for blood she raised them before max all of the will be for blood and a child is a smaller target then an adult Rescue25 1 Quote
that-one-guy Posted May 5, 2015 Report Posted May 5, 2015 I beleive that if any of Max's inner family is hurt or killed by the Shadow Group that Max will release the gates of hell on the world and heaven help anyone that gets in his way. I can see him releasing his version of the terminators on Washington DC and anyother power that has anything to do with hurting Emily, Amy, Becca, Nadi or Alice and the group. He will bring fire and brimstone to them. They will think that they woke up not only on the wrong side of the tracks but that the train ran over them and backed up to do it again. Remember that he is building bigger and stronger spiders, flyers and Mech Suits. Little puny people will stand no chance against them and Legion. Can't wait for chapter one of book three to see who pays for their deeds. I'm thinking the first offensive will be legion. Max will be distraught over any deaths to do anything for a while but with the influence of jazz tali and cat legion will let loose his power. Quote
Rescue25 Posted May 5, 2015 Report Posted May 5, 2015 sort of an anthology....hmmm, I kinda like it. Cat invents something earth shattering and she and han go on the run when the government tries to kill them and take it away... So, am back on the grid...wife is mad I made her proofread the story, but I gotta say, I think she caught more errors than I ever do (That's right, still an ocean away and already sucking up to the wife!) Have already started Shadows in the Grass on my phone...hate writing on the phone but laptop is too much to hump through the mountains. Anywho, can anyone guess who dies in the gym? Emma, Nadi, The babies, or a combination there of? I have already written that scene as a flashback, its so sad... Also we lose another girl in an ambush as two are wounded, one dies and one is captured... so two dead in the first chapter... Oops, outta beer! Oh Bar wench! I really hope your "evil" is showing through and you are just trying to get a rise out of us with the tease you left. It's one thing if one pf the babies dies in a premie birt. Quite another if enemy action takes one or more of the group. Head down and Vest up. You must have cleared the trip with the family. "We"wish you Godspeed. While you are out having "fun". write several chapters of SITG B. Quote
Guest gamascal@gmail.com Posted May 5, 2015 Report Posted May 5, 2015 Emma's water bag broke, why do they say 'broke' anyhow, but I believe that Nadi screamed and collapse because she recognised someone from when she was in captivity! Maybe a member(s) of the Shadow Group. Just a thought. Quote
crazychickhull Posted May 5, 2015 Report Posted May 5, 2015 Emma's water bag broke, why do they say 'broke' anyhow, but I believe that Nadi screamed and collapse because she recognised someone from when she was in captivity! Maybe a member(s) of the Shadow Group. Just a thought.They say broke because it's the last thing a man wants to hear in a heated situation it "breaks" his nerves. Example: my ex husband actually fainted! And that was before we even got to the hospital. He was so nervous he was shaking. I had to pack my own bags and drive myself! Quote
magusfang Posted May 5, 2015 Author Report Posted May 5, 2015 (edited) They say broke because it's the last thing a man wants to hear in a heated situation it "breaks" his nerves. Example: my ex husband actually fainted! And that was before we even got to the hospital. He was so nervous he was shaking. I had to pack my own bags and drive myself! They say broke because that's how you'll be for the next 22 years (25 if she goes after her Masters degree) Broke! and if you do somehow squirrel a little cash away, children somehow know and then just need the latest shoes or jeans or laptop or... Edited May 5, 2015 by magusfang Rescue25 1 Quote
angeldust Posted May 5, 2015 Report Posted May 5, 2015 My nerves broke when my wife's water burst and she decided to take a quick shower before going to the hospital. (Women do not do anything quickly)The idea of nadi recognizing an attacker and either pulled Becca down or was shot. Also what is going on back at the ranch? It wouldn't be the first attack there & Rick, Tat, May or anyone of them could be casualties. Make at least one of the victims a major supporting character. It could be Pet, Tat or Hans and the second could be Kara or Stace. It would have to be a head shot for anyone chipped but you could have Max injured and it's years later that he comes out of his coma to find out that Emma & the babies were killed. Quote
Guest Guest Posted May 6, 2015 Report Posted May 6, 2015 My first reaction was premature birth but the scream and Becca pulling nadi down I was thinking some one on a shooting spree seems more likely. Think the loss of babies will be more of an impact. Still possible that its just a practical joke someone dumping the punch bowl. Not likely but possible. Think the irony would play out if it was Kara and Stacey that gets killed. Just getting together and its over in a shot. Them laying there together on the gym floor looking into the others eyes as life flows out if them. One last I love you as they close their eyes. Then again don't they all have nanites? They aren't far from the mainframe they should upload. The remaining question is which is shooting. Friends of Kara's father, students from Kara's old group, or the shadow group coming for Emma. Seems the latter is more the like. Only way we will know for sure is if its posted here or when the chapter is released. Sounds like a good final chapter with a going to get them cliff hanger to lead to next book. Quote
magusfang Posted May 6, 2015 Author Report Posted May 6, 2015 Oh my, multiple attacks, shooting sprees, and dead people everywhere...and you guys call me twisted! Flexy68 1 Quote
angeldust Posted May 6, 2015 Report Posted May 6, 2015 Well your wife did say that you look like Chubby Checker. @Guest Guest: that is a good scene but unfortunately most deaths do not end with you closing your eyes, that's a Hollywood effect to signify that a character died. In real life your life force just leaves and you are left staring into space unless you were asleep or in a coma or you were tired and closed your eyes and die. I like it being the Shadow's Group; they look up and there is Margo and they hear his laugh ... oh wait wrong Shadow Group. The Director did call them butchers and Rick stated that they left high body counts behind, but I think that even they would be a bit more cautious at a school dance. Sort of hard to cover that up these days. Okay if that was not the last chapter of gitg make it a battle scene leading into SITG (I think that you should always add an extra one to improve over the last one) You can have us await the outcome for the second stanza of the first chapter. Quote
crazychickhull Posted May 6, 2015 Report Posted May 6, 2015 With the girls all wearing dresses I doubt they are hiding weapons either which leaves them completely vulnerable. Quote
MajorMarioc Posted May 6, 2015 Report Posted May 6, 2015 Thanks for all your support its hard to accept that I am still hear but the kind words help a lot I am out of hear in the morning it's 1:33 am now and I will be out of hear at 8 am getting star crazy I can not stand this fucking bed anymoor or hospital food I swear to god how can you make eggs with no flavor at all or potatoes fucking potatoes how do they take the flavor out but w/e I will just be happy to be able to walk/roll around for a while till I can start running again miss exercise and being able to use my brain being lime this I might as well be a house plant don't do any good Need to know if why nadi screamed is because it was an attack or she went into labor as well but when her water broke blood spilled max's first born son I'm scared for him it sounded like both nadi and Emma were having contractions for a while so idk Quote
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