Guest Missyg Posted April 7, 2015 Report Share Posted April 7, 2015 Well not a bad chapter except the Moreno see of Petra the more I dislike her. She seems to be more of a malebthan a female. She is only interested in having sex as a male. Do some of us a big favor and either get rid of her or at least make her a true woman. This series was good but since Petra has shown up it is focusing on her and Max is pushed back to being almost nothing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magusfang Posted April 7, 2015 Author Report Share Posted April 7, 2015 Well not a bad chapter except the Moreno see of Petra the more I dislike her. She seems to be more of a malebthan a female. She is only interested in having sex as a male. Do some of us a big favor and either get rid of her or at least make her a true woman. This series was good but since Petra has shown up it is focusing on her and Max is pushed back to being almost nothing. well part of bringing her in was to give Max a little relief without adding another true male to the mix, but i can tone down the testosterone a bit i guess, there's gonna be an interesting twist on the emma/max/petra group next chapter that should be fun, i wrote in a while ago and i think the coming chapter is a good place to put it. but i'll keep petra's feminine side more in mind COJimmyV 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
COJimmyV Posted April 7, 2015 Report Share Posted April 7, 2015 EGADS! Multiple cliffhangers within the same story is just plain MEAN! I figured the Turners were bad but a cage?!!! *shudder* While I hoped Kara and Stacy would end up together, having the little brother in the mix certainly makes things harder to predict. Not sure how old he is but perhaps a new playmate for Cat and the Twins....or maybe something else entirely. Now that the Shadow group is being revealed to Max, I can't wait to see the start of Book 3. Snakes in the Grass DEFINITELY seems like an appropriate title. Great chapter but WRITE FASTER, dammit!!! Rescue25 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest gamascal@gmail.com Posted April 7, 2015 Report Share Posted April 7, 2015 well part of bringing her in was to give Max a little relief without adding another true male to the mix, but i can tone down the testosterone a bit i guess, there's gonna be an interesting twist on the emma/max/petra group next chapter that should be fun, i wrote in a while ago and i think the coming chapter is a good place to put it. but i'll keep petra's feminine side more in mind Personally, I don't think that Max needed any more females. I thought that with the women in the house who are pregnant, the other women, Madge and Cindi that were enough. Petra seems to be a person who gives Emma the excuse to play around. Maybe I am too cynical. And she was someone who I liked very much for Max. Not sure now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
COJimmyV Posted April 7, 2015 Report Share Posted April 7, 2015 For me, Petra just adds to the uniqueness of Max's life. It's easy for me to see how much she loves both Max and Emma and having both male and female sex organs gives her a perspective that I never really saw with Becca. While most of us LOVE the ideal of a loving, monogamous relationship, the reality is that humans are capable of being in love with more than one person at the same time. We're wired that way but not taught that way. Just my perspective.... Rescue25 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
that-one-guy Posted April 7, 2015 Report Share Posted April 7, 2015 On the whole Petra front, I like her. In my opinion she is a good addition to the mix BUT i do think that there should be a couple chapters where the original six get some time to themselves, even if its while on a mission or maybe the house is under siege I can't wait to see the new toys in use, especially the mech suits you hinted at COJimmyV 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hundybuns Posted April 7, 2015 Report Share Posted April 7, 2015 well part of bringing her in was to give Max a little relief without adding another true male to the mix, but i can tone down the testosterone a bit i guess, there's gonna be an interesting twist on the emma/max/petra group next chapter that should be fun, i wrote in a while ago and i think the coming chapter is a good place to put it. but i'll keep petra's feminine side more in mind Yes I can see your point, but the way things are now Max can't seem to express his love to any of the girls without Petra horning in. I know Emma is susposed to love Max more than the rest but it seems that petra has taken over her life. Everything Emma does seems geared to pleasing Petra and not Max. It is turning out to be another Becca situation. As for Petra giving Max a little relief she is almost cutting him off from all the others. A few chapters ago you had Max and Marge spend some quality time together then spoil it by bringing Petra in and she took Marge away and had sex with her. If you check back through the chapters I think you will find the only time Petra had female sex was when she lost her virginity to Max, every other time she is acting as the alpha male. You even went so far as having Max suck her penis, thus placing Max in a subservient role to Petra. Except for the above it is a fairly good series. I could hardly wait for the next chapter, but lately I find I am skipping through parts of the story. Oh well hopefully you will tone it down a bit and let Max take over the alpha male role again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest gamascal@gmail.com Posted April 7, 2015 Report Share Posted April 7, 2015 I tend to agree with Hundybuns comments. Max seems to subservient to Emma and Petra. He did not like to hear about Petra and Kara but he caved when their tears started to flow. And another thing I am not too sure if I like that anal sex during pregnancy thing. Did a little research and this is what I found on a site, "Generally, anal sex isn't recommended during pregnancy. Anal sex might be uncomfortable if you have pregnancy-related hemorrhoids. More concerning, anal sex might allow infection-causing bacteria to spread from the rectum to the vagina". However, she has nanites lurking around so she and the babies should be ok. They seems to want to introduce another boy in the mix, and more than likely Max will go along with it even if he doesn't like it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hope that this section of the story finishes ASAP. Max needs to go start worrying about the Shadow Group before the family is wiped out. That group only wants their technology, and maybe their kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rescue25 Posted April 7, 2015 Report Share Posted April 7, 2015 (edited) Damn hangers!.. OK now we have 2 damaged alfabit ops about to undergo interrogation that they probably won't survive and 2 scumbags that should never walk free. Maybe Kare should be the one to punish the scumbags that were her parents. That could be interesting like Evan. As far as the comments on Petra I don't see her as taking over. Yes she is unusual BUT so is your story. I think you have done an excellent job of weaving interpersonal relationships into a thrilling story. Stay the course and FULL SPEED AHEAD. Edited April 7, 2015 by Rescue25 Samara and COJimmyV 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sniper014 Posted April 8, 2015 Report Share Posted April 8, 2015 Would really hate to see Max release the toys from hell on the enemy. NOT. Bring on the war to protect the family. Do not let Kara's parent off to light. Also I agree to turn down the testorone on Petria some. Other than that great story and will be looking forward to book three and I agree that the title Snakes in the grass is a great title. COJimmyV 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magusfang Posted April 8, 2015 Author Report Share Posted April 8, 2015 Well there's only two sex scenes left and one is a twist so won't have to worry about Petra taking Max's place until book three As for Max's new toys, just a teaser...you don't get to see them until book three Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Samara Posted April 8, 2015 Report Share Posted April 8, 2015 what do you think magus will you complete this book within this weak.. and I've noticed that you don't post new chapter on Sundays.. am I right ? or am I right.. ? lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magusfang Posted April 8, 2015 Author Report Share Posted April 8, 2015 Nope, sundays are spent exclusively with my kids. Their day and they get to choose what we do so I usually don't get any writing done. I think the next chapter should go a little faster, I think my block has passed, the writing getting easier. so a day or two maybe three on the next chapter Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rescue25 Posted April 8, 2015 Report Share Posted April 8, 2015 (edited) Nope, sundays are spent exclusively with my kids. Their day and they get to choose what we do so I usually don't get any writing done. I think the next chapter should go a little faster, I think my block has passed, the writing getting easier. so a day or two maybe three on the next chapter Is that Magusfang speak for a week??? Sundays are for kids except during football season!? B Edited April 8, 2015 by Rescue25 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magusfang Posted April 8, 2015 Author Report Share Posted April 8, 2015 Is that Magusfang speak for a week??? Sundays are for kinds except during football season!? B not a week I hope, last two chapters had me stumped, but going better nowAnd I'm teaching the girls all about football so even though the girls sometimes beg of my niece spends Sunday with me during the season, cute how she yells at th tv COJimmyV and Rescue25 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rescue25 Posted April 8, 2015 Report Share Posted April 8, 2015 not a week I hope, last two chapters had me stumped, but going better now And I'm teaching the girls all about football so even though the girls sometimes beg of my niece spends Sunday with me during the season, cute how she yells at th tv You got over the stump very well. Monkey see, monkey do? B Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magusfang Posted April 8, 2015 Author Report Share Posted April 8, 2015 Monkey see, monkey do? yep Rescue25 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Christian1040 Posted April 8, 2015 Report Share Posted April 8, 2015 Great Chapter Magus, interesting to see what happens to Kara's parents and how you handle her brother. But unlike Cojimmy, I hope you don't pair him with the twins. The twins have always been loyal to Max and pretty much the only ones who haven't turned on him at any point in time, so if all of a sudden they change their minds, it would be very disappointing and out of character for them. Besides I thought Kara and her family were only gonna be a small part of this story and have little to no cameos in book three. And on the Petra front,it's no secret I don't like her. I agree with Hundybun's comment. She has only been having male sex and pushing Max out with his girls. But if you insist on her staying around, I like your compromise solution of toning it down on her testosterone and amping up her femininity. And don't have Max suck her dick again, once is enough. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
COJimmyV Posted April 8, 2015 Report Share Posted April 8, 2015 Actually, I wasn't hoping the brother would be paired off with Cat and the Twins. When I said playmate, I didn't actually mean it in a sexual context but more like having a boy to rule over, train in combat or make a minion out of. Basically, just wondering how he fits into all of this. Perhaps he and Kara BOTH move in with Stacy's family, otherwise they end up as Max's wards. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magusfang Posted April 8, 2015 Author Report Share Posted April 8, 2015 Hmmm, only time will tell with Kara and Stacey, but they won't have a major role in book three wont live with Max, so don't worry about the harem growing. COJimmyV 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Christian1040 Posted April 9, 2015 Report Share Posted April 9, 2015 Yeah, but when have you known the twins to just "play" with a boy, they are always flirting. And I didn't mean it in a sexual way either, Max wouldn't allow it, their too young, he only allows kissing and touching when its with the guys in the group. Except that one time Max, the twins and Cat were in the virtual world. What I meant was them falling for him like Cat did with Han. I wouldn't want that too happen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angeldust Posted April 9, 2015 Report Share Posted April 9, 2015 (third attempt at posting on this chapter. WTF?)I just wonder how the bro could watch Max & Co. if the flyers knocked everyone out, is he a mutant? Now as for Stace & Kara, I am mixed. It could be that it was a friendly kiss in girl kissing friend Hello & Kara misunderstood. Now Stace is appalled and we go to bad dream for her or she looks at Kara with surprise and after awhile embraces her saying it's about time. But when she finds out Max et al is behind it she wants nothing to do with them. I think Stacy's family is a good solution but first they have to turn their gang around. (Kara points out that the Dickheads had pissed off Max and just maybe they might want to be on his good side.) Kara's parents just disappear and May arranges with Alice's help that most of the $$$ is placed into a Trust for Kara at 21-25. The rest is put into the current school's operating fund unavailable to be touched by the board. Samara 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magusfang Posted April 9, 2015 Author Report Share Posted April 9, 2015 He was too young and weak to sedate, just like Jazz when they found her. as for the rest, that would be telling As for Kara's brother, well he just sort of falls out of the story. He was just a way to get Max in the house to kidnap them sooner, to add some urgency to the plot line. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
COJimmyV Posted April 9, 2015 Report Share Posted April 9, 2015 He was too young and weak to sedate, just like Jazz when they found her. as for the rest, that would be telling As for Kara's brother, well he just sort of falls out of the story. He was just a way to get Max in the house to kidnap them sooner, to add some urgency to the plot line. LALALALA *fingers in ears* Don't give away the plot! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angeldust Posted April 9, 2015 Report Share Posted April 9, 2015 Wouldn't want to wreck his Rescue25 and COJimmyV 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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