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Posted

So, you know Samara will be bugging you now for the next chapter; right? I hereby appoint her your official hound for the next chapter. Let's admit that everybody is anxiously awaiting the great reveal and the shearing of the flock.

ha ha.. very funny.. thanks for the new job though.. :lol:;)
Posted

I'm writing as fast as I can...please don't whip me anymore Samara :snivel snivel::

I know magus that you are trying to update soon. but what can I do your cliffhangers are killing me.. so I keep bugging.. :)

and about the whips.. can't say anything.. if you don't post the next chapter soon .. I just might. a little . ;) .. ha ha.. :D ( you guys are so funny ) :lol:

Posted

fangy said that 4 kids were attached to their parents' legs. Jazz, Tali (not Tail Jimmy, what were you thinking about?), Cat & Jane. Max's 4 daughters. [There I threw you a life line fangface] As Legion stated: the twins are more like a hive mind in their twinitics, Max & Cat are unique in their intelligence & thought processing. The others have their intelligence and other attributes enhanced by the nanites but basically are still normal. So unless Jane has a special talent she will be like all the other kids. One thing when explaining the virtworld why don't they just say think of it as a Holodeck?

Posted

fangy said that 4 kids were attached to their parents' legs. Jazz, Tali (not Tail Jimmy, what were you thinking about?), Cat & Jane. Max's 4 daughters. [There I threw you a life line fangface] As Legion stated: the twins are more like a hive mind in their twinitics, Max & Cat are unique in their intelligence & thought processing. The others have their intelligence and other attributes enhanced by the nanites but basically are still normal. So unless Jane has a special talent she will be like all the other kids. One thing when explaining the virtworld why don't they just say think of it as a Holodeck?

Because (and trust me on this one) not many popular teen girls are trekkies. Max could just explain it as a video game.

Posted (edited)

I thought Kara was damaged in the body but not the face. No mention of the damage in the last scene. If the damage was as bad as described I would think some mention would be in order. Confused as to who damaged her. At one point it was stated that "the parents" were the ones who did the damage but then we find that the mother had similar wounds.???? Should be interesting when Kara gets to "talk" with her father. Again what about mommy??

The interrogation of the black ops will be interesting but which will be more informative< black ops or daddy? That should be a LONG chapter full of exquisite.detail

B

Edited by Rescue25
Posted

As twisted as Magus is, every time we think we got him figured out, he manages to mess with our heads. Kara going after at least dad for sure, and who's to say that mom wasn't forced into helping, obviously she's been subject to the same abuse that the kids have been. The reason he wanted the building Max wants for the school was most likely to start an orphanage there, to start his own little either holding area for the "import" kids, or training similar to what Volstock had going on. There should probably be a little inspection of the other properties that dear old dad owns, just to see how really bad he is.

No one knew what was happening to Kara, so my guess any scars, or bruises are going to be on places not normally visible (covered with clothes), the hardest part for Kara is during Gym class when the girls are all changing, The worst part for her aren't the physical scars she has, or may have, sadly, her mind is probably almost as trashed as Max or the twins'. Keep in mind, it's been going on for almost 10 years for her, therefore it's almost become "normal" for her to have that happen. "Normal" is relative.... what is normal for one person, may be extreme to someone else's sensibilities. Tali, Jazz, and the orphans, pain, suffering, beatings, all of that became normal for them, love, caring, tenderness were foreign concepts to them.

For some people, having a beer at 8am is normal, for others, that would be seen as a problem. Not understanding other's circumstances tends to lead people to judge based on their own sensibilities. That is the biggest hurdle for Max so far, for the twins, "playing" was normal for them, to Max, it offended everything he had been taught as a "taboo". Sometimes, society tries telling people that as a blanket rule, something isn't right, where for individuals it's their normal. Max, loving Petra, and Emma similar is a social taboo, to them, it's perfectly normal and natural.

Sorry, don't mean to ramble but, it almost begs to be said.... Don't judge others, you haven't lived their life.

Posted

impressive Bigman, and perfectly correct...I see I'll have to pull my brain out and twist the living hell out of it :P

Are you trying to convince us that is is NOT already very twisted???? That it's all an act??

:gossip:

B

Posted

So, Rescue pointed out that I didn't mention Kara's scars, but I wanted emphasize that Stacey doesn't even see them...I know Alice comments in her head on them, and Max notices them, but Stacey doesn't or actually she does but they're a non issue, like Max's scars with the girls, he cares about the, but the girls actually like them

Posted

But they were sever enough that they prompted a raid. And momma had worse. Is momma a pain freak? Gets off on pain? Evidently Kara is not. The basement

was hidden from Kara.

Oh yes a cliffhanger.

B

Guest gamascal@gmail.com
Posted

Magus, this is turning out to be one bitch of a cliffhanger if all there suggestions are included. This chapter could be twice as long as the normal. Please take your time on it. What's the approximate date of its publication do you know? How come Kara is looking so good to everyone that sees her and she was so bloody when she was rescued? Maybe the nanites can do wonders in the pod now, or she is not out of the pod yet and all of them are still in the VW. Stacey mentioned that she thought Kara was fat. It sounds as if she hasn't seen her naked before. Maybe Kara change in a different area. Waiting with bated breath for the new chapter.

Posted

She still bruised up but a day in the pod would be enough to fix welts and any surface cuts. Plus you don't see her scars as bad because the nanites and the pod can reduce those as well. Remember Max thought about removing, or at least reducing, his scars but the girls like them. So as usual he let it be even though he's a little self conscious of them. Also you remember in BITG, Tali had scars on her back and bottom but those are almost gone now.

Also remember that Max improved the pods and the nanites, that's how Nadi got preggers, experimental nanites.

And Gam is right, I left so many paths to follow in this chapter, mainly because I hadn't decided myself where I wanted to go...still don't know really

I'll try to get through this chapter by the weekend...there is a lot to cover. I may actually break it into two chapters.

61 is called A Daughter's Love...think you can guess where most of the chapter will be spent :D

Still haven't thought about Mommy Dearest...is she a victim, a monster, or just broken?

Also I want a day in school to dramatize Kara's transformation

And there is a scene with Petra, Emma, and Max that has been eating a hole in my brain :o

so much smut, so little time :P

Posted (edited)

Don't judge others, you haven't lived their life. - Bigman

I bow to the Master, that is the major theme of the story. Don't judge what you don't understand. And what some see as taboo, others see as normal, just because it isn't for you, don't look down on it. Besides, who has the right to say what is acceptable and what isn't - live and let live I say. Ok, off the soap box :)

Oh, that and I really hate people who hurt children...my pet peeve and I tend to react worse than Max does.

Edited by magusfang
Posted

I agree with that bit about doing onto others & not judging them. But then being Canuck my brain is frozen more than half the year. Momma could be interesting being an extreme masochist with a bit of sadist on the side. When they realise this the family have to come up with a whole new plan. maybe even have bro a combo of Mommy & Daddy. (How do you punish a masochist? You Don't!)

Posted

(How do you punish a masochist? You Don't!)Give her an asperin?

Exactly, for punishment, you deny what they crave.... Masochists that truly get off/enjoy the pain, to punish, even actually need it for the release, the ultimate punishment is that denial

Keep in mind too, When Kara was in the Virtual World, it's not an actual representation of their appearance (Mia still saw herself as a puppy and Amy didn't change when she was in there) A lot of the scars that Alice saw in there may have been some of the ones that Kara had put on herself too. She had been told she was ugly for so long, she only saw the flaws, not the person inside.

We never see ourselves how others see us, we see the flaws that others omit, looking at ourselves in the mirror and seeing what others see is almost impossible, we always tend to undervalue ourselves.

Guest gamascal@gmail.com
Posted

She still bruised up but a day in the pod would be enough to fix welts and any surface cuts. Plus you don't see her scars as bad because the nanites and the pod can reduce those as well. Remember Max thought about removing, or at least reducing, his scars but the girls like them. So as usual he let it be even though he's a little self conscious of them. Also you remember in BITG, Tali had scars on her back and bottom but those are almost gone now.

Also remember that Max improved the pods and the nanites, that's how Nadi got preggers, experimental nanites.

And Gam is right, I left so many paths to follow in this chapter, mainly because I hadn't decided myself where I wanted to go...still don't know really

I'll try to get through this chapter by the weekend...there is a lot to cover. I may actually break it into two chapters.

61 is called A Daughter's Love...think you can guess where most of the chapter will be spent :D

Still haven't thought about Mommy Dearest...is she a victim, a monster, or just broken?

Also I want a day in school to dramatize Kara's transformation

And there is a scene with Petra, Emma, and Max that has been eating a hole in my brain :o

so much smut, so little time :P

BITG had 63 chapters. GITG is stretching like a rubber band trying to reach that number. Will it reach it I wonder! Hope not because Max has to concentrate on the Shadow Group.

Guest majormarioc
Posted

Before you read I have head injury so spelling grammer will be bad Well needed the bandages partner says keep my head down is a better ideah (I need a new helmit...) Lol sooooo happy jaz won the shoot out and Kara forgetting about the bacement is. very common in these cases but how did Stacy know about them if Kara kept her away from the house most likely mom is a masochistic monster and daddy is a sadist perfect match the shadow group hugs are gonna be the hard ones to interrogate most likely they are counter intel agents with specific training not to talk... Altho doing it in a virtual model of the basement might help crack them they will think is a way to get out they would be able to tell if the ropes don't come loose with there efforts so would need to be chains so tight it is almost I'm the skin of the wrist I'm thinking or there teeth have been removed (one most likely removed fit a cionide tooth) although are these guys spys or soldiers.

Karas parents most likely started her tourture with light chokeing in bed hitting then punching then up to cutting... It just kept evolving she waswnt enough for him any moor he just kept escateimg it was almost all he thought about when he got the first girl in the basement he took his time with the knife most likely cut the cheeks she could scream louder... Then moor escolatuon with Kara she couldn't go in the play room people know she exists and he is rich she goes missing would tear up his reputationshe would be looked like the limberg baby

(Sorry I got graphic just ran an op and the guy had chained victims just like dear old dad... I know how max was feeling 2mins I would of saved a little boy I herd the shot)

Posted (edited)

stacey knew that there had been a door to the basement when they were younger, but not what was going on there; so far niether stacey or Kara know yet...haven't decided how to reveal that yet.

still don't know if Kara's mother was a willing participant or not...i'm thinking no...

hang in there buddy, they don't all suck, sometimes you win

Edited by magusfang
Posted

Remember even those that you don't win, if righteous, have probably set that part of life back on tract. You were too late for one but think of all those that would have followed that Were saved. (Max needs someone to drive that point into him, it doesn't help the sense of loss but it does help one not to go insane.)Don't make this another Suzy-Becca case go for the extreme and have it eat at Kara making her wonder if she or her brother are like her parents. This also could make her even more rabid about making amends to all those she has hurt and a force against bullies in her life. (Maybe even become one of Max's squad leaders, with Stace as her second, in tracking down those like her father. Her brother could go the other way, out to get Max et al for destroying his family.) I need a hobby.

Posted

For once, maybe no outside attempted seduction of Stacy and Kara by Amy and the rest of the girls. Kara is just starting to come to grips with herself, and her new found love with Stacy, others trying to tempt them may undermine that. The fact that Kara shot Alice down shows how dedicated to Stacy she really is, the bad part is that Amy tends to just ignore other's boundaries and go full steam ahead with what she wants regardless of how others feel, the best example of that was her kissing the boy and hurting Alice, Amy's lack of concern for others feelings or wishes does show her lack of maturity, her not learning from it, or respecting other's boundaries may ultimately wind up hurting someone else's relationship. They all can support Kara and Stacy without trying to get into their pants, caring doesn't always mean screwing.

If the scene is what I think it may be Magus, keep in mind, Max has always had an aversion to receiving. Remember the van scene with Becca, Emma, and him. Granted, he kind of relaxed after the jail part, but, he was luckily unconscious during the worst of that.

Going after Kara's dad, I could almost see Max having him in the Virtual world, and playing the videos and stills that they got from the first group. Similar to that part in Willy Wonka when they're on the boat with the images flickering by. Or, have Legion go in and do a little brainwashing like what they had done with Hans. While it may help Kara to be involved, you have to wonder how much extra damage it could cause too, sometimes re-living bad memories cements them instead of releasing them. If it was me, with Mr. Turner, I would wipe any and all memories that he has of Kara, her brother, hell, his entire family, and dump him on some little desserted island with no hope of escape. Or, copy Kara's memories of all of the pain and input them in his mind and make him live through everything that he put her through.

Posted

For once, maybe no outside attempted seduction of Stacy and Kara by Amy and the rest of the girls. Kara is just starting to come to grips with herself, and her new found love with Stacy, others trying to tempt them may undermine that. The fact that Kara shot Alice down shows how dedicated to Stacy she really is, the bad part is that Amy tends to just ignore other's boundaries and go full steam ahead with what she wants regardless of how others feel, the best example of that was her kissing the boy and hurting Alice, Amy's lack of concern for others feelings or wishes does show her lack of maturity, her not learning from it, or respecting other's boundaries may ultimately wind up hurting someone else's relationship. They all can support Kara and Stacy without trying to get into their pants, caring doesn't always mean screwing.

If the scene is what I think it may be Magus, keep in mind, Max has always had an aversion to receiving. Remember the van scene with Becca, Emma, and him. Granted, he kind of relaxed after the jail part, but, he was luckily unconscious during the worst of that.

Going after Kara's dad, I could almost see Max having him in the Virtual world, and playing the videos and stills that they got from the first group. Similar to that part in Willy Wonka when they're on the boat with the images flickering by. Or, have Legion go in and do a little brainwashing like what they had done with Hans. While it may help Kara to be involved, you have to wonder how much extra damage it could cause too, sometimes re-living bad memories cements them instead of releasing them. If it was me, with Mr. Turner, I would wipe any and all memories that he has of Kara, her brother, hell, his entire family, and dump him on some little desserted island with no hope of escape. Or, copy Kara's memories of all of the pain and input them in his mind and make him live through everything that he put her through.

I like the sound of that last one, give him Kara's thoughts and watch him go insane :)

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