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Posted (edited)

Re: "Country Summer"

From Fairy-Slayer on August 19, 2016

Chapter one opens at the exact right spot for as much exposition as needed, with the normal country plus minimal "world building" elements to establish the furry nature of the characters. It's a nice depiction of sweet country life – with charming detail of the trip from the train station and all that happened – plus the added palpable adoration they all have for Geraldine, especially the boys. Better yet, even during and after the sex it's clear that the twins love her for herself, not just because she'll fool around with them at the drop of a hat. It was sweet, perhaps even making me wistful, how open the underage kids were when discussing sex play, along with the idea that the adults have a strong "kids will be kids" attitude – presumably at least until they're old enough for pregnancy or stronger feelings that appear in puberty to be an issue. I loved the idea that in this world a girl who likes another girl is simply known as "a girl." Of course you did a great job on the sex itself too, and the twins were excellent partners, especially since they know how to share nice.

Even though dystopian fiction seems to be all the rage these days, I prefer to write utopian fiction. :) Geraldine is our real-world (more or less) representative in a world that is in many ways ideal -- not just because of the quaint, charming environment but because of the attitudes of the people who live there. Oh, and all the sex. :)

Chapter two was another pleasant slice-of-life for the country home life, and getting some more background helped contrasting their ideal "simpler" country life (full of hard work!) with what most of us are used to. Maisy shows an intriguing kind of protective streak, being sure to consider Geraldine's feelings and wants yet she seems to kind-of know the answer beforehand: with the bit about Jeph killing the chickens she brought it up first, expecting the girl to be cool with the idea and then making sure; and for the sleeping arrangement, well, I'm sure the boys were told to put up the sheet between the parts of their room.


I have it in my head that Maisy sees some of herself in Geraldine: a city girl drawn to the charms of country life. Too, I think that the very different life choices that Maisy and Geraldine's mother made probably caused a bit of a rift between the two sisters (due to geographic distance and their different lifestyles, if nothing else), so Maisy may be trying to make up for that in her treatment of Geraldine.

Also, the bit about Geraldine's crush on Uncle Jeph and even losing herself in the fantasy was quite nice. It's a great tease because it seems like a long shot. Then again, if other adults like Mrs. Maybell are willing to cross the age line without worrying too much about secrecy then maybe "making love to a real man" is on the lesson plan. (Okay, I'm stretching it, but one can hope.)

No spoilers. :)

Finally, I like the idea of Geraldine's curiosity about anal, and it makes perfect sense that she'd want to see it to judge if it really seems to hurt, plus maybe the thought of seeing the boys going at it gives her tingly feelings too. Good thing they're happy and eager to demonstrate. Nicely done.

Thank you! Yes, Geraldine has both of those motives for wanting to watch the boys in action.

Edited by GeorgeGlass
Posted

Re: "Father's Love"

From ANON - Guest on August 24, 2016

Very hot, and a very rare story too.

Thank you. And thank you for being the first AFF reader to review this story in the 2 years since it was posted!

You should make more of it. Its sad that you only making it one-shot. I hope you reconsider on making more.

I don't have plans to continue this particular story, but I may write another one in a similar vein one of these days.

  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

Re: “Eddie Forever”

From darkalley_rambler on September 03, 2016

Before I respond to your specific comments, I want to thank you very much for reading and reviewing “Eddie Forever.” I’m very proud of this story, but it hadn’t garnered any reviews before now, so I was delighted to see yours.

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Wasn't too sure about this story at the start, but I found myself growing rather fascinated as I went on.  The more perpective chapters I read and more of the bigger picture you reveal drew me in. 

I especially enjoy writing the perspective chapters. It’s fun to create so many different settings in which stories parallel to those of Eddie and Akranaan could take place.
 

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Really like the two creators, I'm looking forward to how that plays out. A very intriging world your weaving together here.

 

Thank you! Plenty of revelations to come, so I hope you’ll stay tuned!

Posted

Re: “Mommy’s Home”

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From ANON - Byzantine on September 09, 2016

Now, I don't write reviews very often, but nice work !!

This story is written amazingly well, and is doubtlessly one of the hottest I've ever read.

So, yeah, nice job !!

Thank you! And I appreciate your taking the time to review this story.

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Are you planning to write a sequel ?

I have an idea for one, but it needs more thinking through. In the meantime, I’ve got several other stories you might like.

Thanks again!

 

  • 1 month later...
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Re: Just Doin’ What We Do (A Halloween Story)

From SandmansAngel on October 25, 2016

This was a really cute story, and I loved the werewolf pups or is that what the pre-teen werewolves are called.  Anyway I just want you to know that it was cute and I hope you continue to write more stories.

 

 

Thanks! I do indeed plan to write more stories. Also, I have some other stories that are already posted (or at least partly posted) that you might enjoy, like “Country Summer” and “The Last Toy.”

Posted

Re: Just Doin’ What We Do (A Halloween Story)

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From Fairy-Slayer on October 25, 2016

This was an especially fun little tale, and if only you could go the R.L. Stine route with this then we'd have a new Halloween classic movie to watch every year.

 

 

This is why they don't let me write for TV. You can imagine what Sally would be doing to Linus in that pumpkin patch. :)

 

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I loved the slow anticipation once it was clear exactly what kind of story this was. (One big benefit of proofreading. :))

 

Writing this story felt almost like writing a mystery: had to drop hints here and there without giving everything away. It was fun.

 
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It was delightful to get to know Emily and Joe Bob a little and realize that they had quite a pervy streak in them.

 

It seems to me that, in Halloween stories in particular, rural Southerners tend to be portrayed as either superstitious yokels or villainous yokels. I wanted to subvert that trope in this story.

 

 
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They did a wonderful job guiding the children towards their instinctual wants and helping bring them out, much to everyone's pleasure. The descriptions of the games and the little things the children started doing were great, especially as it escalated.

 

 

I googled “Halloween party games” for ideas about what games Joe Bob and Emily might have the kids play. The first hit was a page on the Reader's Digest website, which mentioned the broom-and-balloon race.
 

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For some reason the bit about the Velcro cracked me up almost as much as it did Emily. You did an excellent job describing all the lovely children and keeping the action straight among them.

 

It took some doing to keep track of names, ages, physical appearance, costumes, and who would end up with whom. I had to make a chart. :)

 
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Naveen and June were an adorable exception to have going on too.

 

I wanted to include some were-creatures other than werewolves, and I've always liked tigers. I also thought it would add to the mystery of what was going on, because readers might wonder why Emily and Joe Bob considered it important for June and Naveen to pair up.

 
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Then it was nice that Emily and Joe Bob could enjoy the kids' down-time together after getting more than an eyeful of all the action.

 

Volunteer work should be rewarding. :)
 

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Thanks for sharing this fun story.

 

Thanks for the beta and the review!

 
Posted

Re: Just Doin’ What We Do (A Halloween Story)
 

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From Jomahawk2694 on October 31, 2016

Well, once again, you have taken a horror concept and somehow managed to not only sex it up, but do it with kids and in a such a well written way that it seems wholly believable. 

 

Thank you! The werewolf legend was doubly helpful to me in writing this story: It provided both a plot twist and an excuse for a bunch of kids to have sex. :)
 

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I salute you, good sir, and wish you a very spooky Halloween >;-)

your were-fan

Joma

 

I had a terrific one. Hope you did, too.

  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

Re: “Darla’s Dad”
 

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From ANON - Femme on November 14, 2016

Great job. Very descriptive

 

Thanks!

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i wish you of made a second one rather than leaving it here, but brilliant none the less

“Darla’s Dad” actually IS the second story. The first story, titled “Darla,” can be found here.

There is a third story called “Darla’s New Beginning” that was written by another author named Risa187. It’s not posted on AFF, though (to my knowledge), and I’m not sure where else it might be.

Posted

Re: “Country Summer”
 

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From Fairy-Slayer on November 18, 2016

Chapter 3 was a lot of fun, especially for Geraldine. The twins activities were quite nicely described, so it's no wonder that the girl lost herself to such a powerful orgasm while watching and, better yet, imagining herself as part of the action.

 

One thing I've learned from my time on AdultFanFiction is that there are plenty of gals out there who like the M/M thing, and I figured Geraldine would, too. Also, their activity in this chapter is a hint that bisexual behavior is pretty normal among country folk in Geraldine's universe.

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Also it was nice of Mike to do something for Earnest first before using him for the demonstration, as it were, though it seems that both of them enjoyed it in the end.

They generally make an effort to be equitable with each other. Keeps the peace. :)

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Now it'll be fun to see her learning about it from much closer herself.

You won't have long to wait!

Posted

Re: "Darla"

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From Fairy-Slayer on November 26, 2016

I'll be honest: Initially, I was surprised that you had read and reviewed "Darla" and "Darla's Dad," seeing as how they're probably my darkest stories. Then I remembered that you're the author of "Candy, Little Girl," and my surprise diminished. :)

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Your closing thought is right: Things could have gone much better for the girl. The verbal and emotional abuse they heaped upon the poor little girl felt quite real and gripping, and the way it transitioned into sexual abuse was so "natural" it was scary.

I tend to embrace the notion that today's bullies are tomorrow's criminals.  

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Kyle and Jay were perfect rotten little scoundrels, and their instincts were great for escalating things so they could get worked up for a powerful release.

I envisioned Kyle as a kid whose understanding of girls and of sexuality comes almost entirely from pornography seen on his neglectful father's computer. Jay, on the other hand, is a straight-up sociopath. I just imbued each of them with some of my own fetishes and let the story write itself.

Thanks for the review! (And thanks for being this story's first reviewer.)

Posted (edited)

Re: “Darla's Dad”
 

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From Fairy-Slayer on November 26, 2016

On the bright side, Kyle and Jay won't be bothering Darla anymore (and their punishment was quite satisfying), but it almost doesn't seem worth it in the end (and the pussy and the mouth…). As bad as her father's abuse was (described so wonderfully forcefully throughout) it's her mother's apathy that makes me feel even worse for the poor little victim. Nicely played.

 

Thanks! I wanted to make it clear that Darla's situation is effectively inescapable, and her mother's silent complicity is an important part of that. I also thought that showing Darla’s home life helped to explain why she was such an attractive target for Kyle and Jay in the first story: because she has been raised to be passive and not to fight back.

Edited by GeorgeGlass
Posted
On 11/27/2016 at 11:26 AM, GeorgeGlass said:

Re: "Darla"

(And thanks for being this story's first reviewer.)

Oh… I didn't even realize, and I'm kind of surprised. But now I see that the previous review was only for "Darla's Dad." People need to check the series.

As for "Candy, Little Girl," heh yeah, I've gone to dark places, though writing "My Absolute Mostest Horriblest Day EVER!" is what really twisted my brain beyond repair. :)

Posted

Re: “Country Summer”

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From Fairy-Slayer on November 30, 2016

Chapter four more than lived up to its promise of some great action for Geraldine. For some reason at first I was expecting Earnest to have more to say, but perhaps like me he was stunned to silence with the wonderful sexy action and great little back and forth that Geraldine and Mike shared.

 

I wanted to focus on what Geraldine was thinking and feeling, so I didn't want to include any dialogue that might distract from that.

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Very kind of him to check on her and ask before any change-ups, and it was quite satisfying action and satisfying again when Geraldine decided she really liked this new way.

Mike's good like that.

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Her final comment on the matter was fantastic, and if she's even the slightest bit serious then I'm sure the twins will be happy to accommodate her.

I think she'll be happy to accommodate them, too. :)

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Thanks for another fun chapter of lighthearted young lust and familial love.

You're most welcome! Thanks for the review.

  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

Re: “Caitlyn’s Punishment”

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From ANON - on December 09, 2016

Oh please consider contiuing this story.

 

I don’t currently have plans to continue this one, but I have another one in the planning phase that is in a similar vein (working title: “Curfew”).

Posted

Re: “Daddy’s Rules”

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From Carry_banks on December 12, 2016

Love this!! It got me so fucking wet!!!

 

Thank you! As I always say, there’s no praise more sincere than an involuntary physiological response. :)

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Wish it was longer though and more vocal. Good work!

If you’re looking for something longer that’s in a somewhat similar vein, you might check out “Cruel Nature,” “Unbidden,” “Wish List,” or “Darla” and “Darla’s Dad.”

Thanks for the review!

  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

Re: “Caitlyn’s Punishment”
 

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From ANON - on December 22, 2016

Oh my gosh! This was delightful and I want to read more of it. I am sad story is complete.

 

 Glad you enjoyed it. If you like that sort of thing, keep an eye out for my upcoming story, “Curfew.”

 

  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

Re: “Comfort and Joy”
 

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From ANON - on January 02, 2017

This last chapter was definitely my favorite one. I love that Carl, Robin, Astrid and Erik got to watch their kids have sex.

 

It just seemed like the right way to end the trilogy: their parents had sex when they were very young, Carl and his sibs did the same, and now their kids are doing it.

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For a while, I thought they might even join in on the fun.

 

I think they would, but “off screen.” Given that there was no inter-generational sex in the whole trilogy, I thought it would be weird to introduce it in the final chapter.

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Really liked reading all the Carl & Robin parts/chapters in this story. They were my favorite 'couple'.

:)

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Also liked the length of this story. Will you be posting a new story soon? Maybe a father/daughter story? :P

I have a father/teen daughter series going that begins with “Wild Side,” continues with “Everything She Needs,” and will conclude with the in-progress “Make It All Better.” Also, there’s a good bit of father/daughter sex in my plot-heavy scifi-fantasy stories “Activation Day” (completed) and “Eddie Forever” (well underway). Finally, I’ve got a father/young daughter story called “Little Rose” in the works, but I’m not sure when the first chapter of that will be ready for posting.

Thanks for the review!

Posted

Re: “Comfort and Joy”
 

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From ANON - on January 07, 2017

Very well-written and compelling erotica. Enough story to get the reader interested in the characters, but not so much to get in the way of the fun.

 

Thank you! Striking that balance was very important to me in writing this fic.

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I'm a fan of realism, even within a fantasy setting such as this. This series has felt very "real" and within my comfort zone for imagining underage sexual activity, which made me very happy. So I'm sad to have to be critical of a couple of things in the final two chapters. First, Carl's endurance (four orgasms in a very short period of time) seemed implausible, even for a horny teenage boy.

My thought was that not only is Carl a teenage boy who has two hot girls to get it on with, but he and the others were pretty backed up from having to keep it in their pants while their parents made up their minds about whether to let the kids keep having sex. And being introduced to anal sex probably put a bit of extra lead in Carl’s pencil, too.
 

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Second, I have no idea if preschool-aged children are capable of having orgasmic intercourse as you describe, but even if they are that was a step beyond what I'm comfortable with. (Not your fault of course, it's my own squick. I just personally wish that you had portrayed Anton and Sabine as nine or ten, at least: that would have ended the story perfectly, for me in any case.)

 

From what I’ve read—and I’ll confess that I haven’t made a thorough study of the subject—that people can become physiologically capable of orgasm at almost any age, including toddlerhood. And given that sexual precocity runs very strongly in Carl’s family, I didn’t think it implausible that his kids could be capable of orgasm at age 4.
 

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But as always, impeccably done, Mr. Glass. Thank you for this.

 

And thank you for the review!

  • 3 weeks later...
  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

Re: “Excuses”

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From panderpanda on February 08, 2017

Loved it! Gotta love a good coercion fic :) Nice and simple, good characterizations.

 

Unlike most of my stories (which take months to write, even the single-chapter ones), this one was mostly written in the space of a single day. It just took hold of me and made me keep going until it was done. I think that’s why it came out as you describe it.

Thanks so much for the comments!

  • 4 weeks later...
Posted

Re: “Rough Night”

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From DarkRaven on March 06, 2017

Well written guilty pleasure read :)

 

Writing it was a guilty pleasure, too. :)

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But I was hoping to see more of Francis' reaction, and more chapters. Looking forward to reading more of your work.

Thanks! I don’t have plans to write more about this characters (although that can always change), but I’ve got other stories in a similar vein.

Thanks for the comments!

  • 1 month later...
Posted

Re: “Mommy’s Home”

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From Albireo on April 06, 2017

I'm happy that I found this story. Fetishes like this aren't very common, sadly.

Depending on which fetish you mean (eg, mother/son incest, straight shota), I could point you to some more stories in the same vein.

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The sex scenes and the decsriptions are all vey well written.

Thank you!

I could see you continuing this story. Are you going to write more chapters?

The bad news: No, I’m not planning to write more chapters.

The good news: Instead, I’m planning a sequel story titled “Auntie’s Home,” in which Ellie’s gorgeous sister Mara moves in with her and Eric. (Mara gets to stay rent-free, on the condition that she provide certain...services...for her sister and nephew.)

Guest Last Reviewer
Posted

I meant the hung shota :). It’s not a very common fetish!

Guest
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