Review responses for "Danville, We Have a Problem"

[GeorgeGlass]

Should reviews appear, I'll respond to them here. (Hey, that rhymes.)

[GeorgeGlass]

Jomahawk2694 2013-11-23 id # 3000068865

Wow. Just WOW. Perfect sequel, and definitely staying in character. Phineas, despite coming to the realization of his love for Isabella, is still very very thick when it comes to the romantic needs and wants of his new girlfriend. This chapter gave me several honest laugh out louds, which is becoming more and more rare as of late, and I applaud you for that. But you also took it one step farther and showed that although they are together, Isabella isn't above getting a little mad at Phineas' lack of knowledge when it comes to romance and her desires. On a more serious note, your description for this one did put me off a bit, in that I know you are willing to explore the themes of death from Ferb's back story in Sweet Dreams, but now I'm a little afraid that not all of our sex-tranaughts will be returning to Danville alive. Gravity already showed enough death in space man, I really hope you don't go extending that to the characters of one of my favorite cartoons.

But despite all that, this story is already shaping up to be EPIC. Can't wait for the next chapter.

Jomahawk

I'm glad you like the way the new Phineas/Isabella dynamic is shaping up. I figured that, given that Phineas is utterly clueless about Isabella's attraction to him on the show, he'd probably be equally clueless about what to do in a relationship with her. Likewise, her frustration with his not noticing her romantically has translated into frustration with his total ignorance about dating, sex, and relationships.

I had a feeling that someone would reference Gravity in reviewing this story. I haven't actually seen that movie (although I want to), so this story is not influenced by it at all.

[GeorgeGlass]

Jomahawk2694 2013-11-30 id # 3000068883

Well damn. Isn't that always the way in a space thriller, for absolutely EVERYTHING to go wrong at once. First Isabella and Phineas having their mini-fight, then the space station becoming a floating hunk of metallic Swiss cheese. And on top of it all, the other four couples are now going to not only be freaking out, but horny as their lives are now in very real danger. Im serious, as much as im enjoying this story, if someone dies, it will be a very sad time.

Still, can't wait for your next chapter!

JMAHWK

And things have only just begun to go wrong! Glad you're enjoying it so far.

As for character death...no comment.

Aysha 2013-12-01 id # 3000068884

I'm glad you brought this storyline back and I'm looking forward to reading more!

Thanks! When I decided to do a sequel, this seemed like the storyline that would most easily carry one.

[GeorgeGlass]

Jomahawk2694 2013-12-07 id # 3000068897

Somehow, you even manage to make sexless, filler chapters relevant to the story.

Well, that IS kind of the point of them. Besides, this is meant to be as much an adventure story as erotica.

And I really can't wait to see where you go with phineas and isabella. Update soon!

JMAHWK

Plenty more danger, drama, and gettin' it on ahead.

[GeorgeGlass]

Aysha 2013-12-13 id # 3000068924

Very good plot development, next chapter looks like a lot of fun, please post soon.

Thanks! I've been managing about a chapter a week so far; I expect the writing will continue at that pace.

[GeorgeGlass]

Jomahawk2694 2013-12-16 id # 3000068934

I like it. I really like the SPF system. And I really like/hate you for the teases at the end of the chapter. Please update soon.

JMAHWK

Thank you, thank you, and thank you/get bent.

Next chapter should go up at the end of the week.

[GeorgeGlass]

Jomahawk2694 2013-12-22 id # 3000068968

GOD DAMN IT.

Seriously, do you get off on making us wait for the amazing smut that only you are capable of providing? I mean, dont get me wrong, it was a great chapter. Good advances to the plot, good keeping the tension building, and you even got a few laughs out of me, but for crying OUT LOUD, what is with the constant blue balling??

With that said, keep up the great work, and please hurry with the next one.

JMAHWK

I'm a little unclear on what your issue is. Is it that this chapter took me an unusually long time to write (I'd been going for about 1 a week, but this one took 10 days), or that the content of the chapter was not sufficiently gratifying?

If it's the first issue, the main reason I got a bit slow with this chapter was that I kept writing bits that I realized were more appropriate for subsequent chapters. Hopefully, this means that the NEXT chapter will come sooner.

If it's the second issue, well, Phineas DID get blown to completion in this chapter, so that's something. (I even got auto-chastised for not putting "oral" in the list of tags. I fixed that just now.)

Anyhow, more excitement to come in the next chapter.

[GeorgeGlass]

Ron 2013-12-26 id # 3000068976

Best two weeks ever but now somebody's in T.R.O.U.B.L.E truble Phineas better do something quick

Oh yes indeed.

[GeorgeGlass]

Ron 2013-12-26 id # 3000068977

The view was breathe taking but he's smart with building things but when it come to girl's filling he's a smart as a bag of hammers

Exactly.

[GeorgeGlass]

Aysha 2013-12-30 id # 3000068992

the last two chapters were a lot of fun I'm really enjoying the way you're doing this keep up the good work!

Thanks! I've started finding these sex scenes harder to write, because I've done enough stories with these same characters that I've become concerned about not just writing the same scene over and over again. So I'm glad if they're doing it for you.

[GeorgeGlass]

Jomahawk2694 2013-12-30 id # 3000068994

Well, that wasn't so hard, was it?

No, but I hope the readers were.

But seriously, great job with this chapter. Im sorry if my comment for last chapter gave you the wrong idea. I wasn't mad at you or your amazing writing style. I was complaining because I was being an impatient little perv who didn't want to wait for the long awaited zero G orgy. Needless to say, you nailed it. This chapter was amazing, sexy, funny, (btw, I don't know if the last line was a reference to Gravity or not, but it was great all the same )

Anyway, thank you so much for this amazing chapter, and I can't wait for the next one

Jomahawk

No biggie. Balancing comedy, drama, and sex has been one of the great challenges of this story. I don't expect the mix to be perfect for everyone. But I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter.

The last line was not intended as a reference to GRAVITY (although I have now seen it and thought it was really good)--just as a bit of comedy at poor Stacy's expense.

[GeorgeGlass]

Jomahawk2694 2014-01-06 id # 3000069016

Damn it George! You just had to go and use the 'unseen danger thats going to kill someone' move, didnt you? Aside from that this chapter was really good, and just like every single one you do, it got plenty of laughs from me. Also, after reading this, I want you to do something for Stacy, since she has gotten exactly one instance of pleasure in one of your stories. Anyway, I seriously cant wait for the next chapter!

Joma

Glad you enjoyed the chapter, minus the implicit death threat.

As for Stacy, if she doesn't get any in this story, she's going to get lots in my upcoming one, "Tri-Date Area."

[GeorgeGlass]

Aysha 2014-01-07 id # 3000069021

another great chapter. The thing with the mummy trap was hilarious, you really captured the thread of the TV show. If Perry doesn't save ferb's ass, I don't think I'll be able to forgive you!

No spoilers. Perry may or may not save Ferb. You may or may not forgive me.

PS. Stacy really does need to get some, I love Japanese girls! PPS.

As noted above, if Stacy doesn't get some in this story, she'll get a bunch in one of my upcoming ones.

And Japanese girls must be awesome, because Japanese guys like them, and they like a lot of stuff that's cool.

If you could figure out a way to get Ferb and Vanessa together that would be awesome!!! without making Ferb taller or aging him at all, though maybe he can make some kind of potions or ray to increase the size of his manhood for her

I think I used up all my Ferbnessa mojo in "Sweet Dreams." I kind of feel like I've already told the best story about them that I'm ever going to tell. In fact, after this, I think I really only have two P&F stories left in me: "Tri-Date Area," which will be about a 3-way relationship among Candace, Jeremy, and Stacy, and an as-yet untitled, rather dark rape-revenge fic involving Candace and little Suzy Johnson (whom I have long considered to be the most evil P&F character there is. Sorry, Doctor D).

[GeorgeGlass]

foobar137 2014-01-09 id # 3000069025

Very, very impressed with all your work, and this story in particular. So many perfect details being brought in. You've got an excellent grasp of the characters and the series.

Thank you very much. Being faithful to the characters (while finding new stories to tell with them) is always a top priority for me.

[GeorgeGlass]

Jomahawk2694 2014-01-13 id # 3000069036

Well. Holy hell, you almost killed one of my favorite characters. But very good on Stacy and Gretchen using their feminine intuition to save him.

Never go into space without chicks.

But...I still have the uneasy feeling that they arent out of the woods yet

Please update soon!

Joma

When the woods are the never-ending, icy-cold, soul-sucking darkness of space...

[GeorgeGlass]

Jomahawk2694 2014-01-22 id # 3000069068

Well, I thoroughly enjoyed that. Very tense and edge of seat style action.

Just what I wanted to hear!

Although busting obsessed Candace seems a little out of place in your stories.

I suppose Candace's busting obsession got put on the sidelines a bit in this story because of the whole saving-her-brothers'-lives thing. If that's what you mean.

Regardless, im guessing the story is almost over, and I cant wait to see how it ends.

Yup, just one chapter left. Gotta have a little denouement. (My junior-high English teacher would be so proud.)

Also, please tell me you're kidding when you say you are only going to do two more P&F stories. It would really suck if you stopped doing them.

JMA

I've only got two P&F-related ideas in my head that I think are actually good enough to write up. It's not impossible that I'll have more, but I also have lots of other story ideas that I want to bring to life, too.

Oh, and I'm very glad you made that comment, because I wasn't sure that anyone was reading this thread besides me!

Edited January 23, 2014 by GeorgeGlass

[GeorgeGlass]

Jomahawk2694 2014-01-25 id # 3000069073

Good, Frikkin, GOD.

That had to be the absolute HOTTEST thing I have read. EVER.

I did my best. I figured after a long story like that, the ending ought to be climactic.

And the fight was spot on, but I do have a question

Aside from one episode, Beuford and Doof have never met.

And I know Doof and Isabella have never met. So why would Doof have an IsaBufordinator?

The Isabufordinator is first mentioned (perhaps too briefly) in chapter 8, when Doofenshmirtz is showing Perry his various Inators: "Over in the corner is something called the Isabufordinator. I’m not exactly sure what it does; some girl sent me the plans online." (The girl would be the hefty Isabuford fangirl with whom Eva was arguing in an earlier chapter.)

And when it shot off at the end, I was seriously going to strangle you if that had hit Isabella. Having that couple would have been worse that Ferb dying in space (but not by much

Hey, gotta have a little suspense here and there.

Anyway, This story was awesome. And now Im seriously looking forward to Tri-Date Area. And the long awaited Stacy x Candace x Jeremy lemon

Cool. Although I'll probably end up writing my relatively short, rather dark Suzy-fic first.

Till then, peach

JMA

I'm going to assume you meant "peace" and aren't hitting on me. (Or maybe you were struck by the Peach Cobbler-inator.)

[GeorgeGlass]

Till then, peace

JMA

(and yes, I deleted my old review to change that one word. You're welcome)

And I went back and broke up the paragraph in which Doofenshmirtz describes his various Inators so that the Isabufordinator isn't buried in the middle. Yay, obsessive-compulsiveness!

[GeorgeGlass]

SWK 2014-03-05 id # 3000069157

I am going to be honest with you, because I think that you would appreciate more my honesty, than empty flattery.

I will indeed. Of course, I'm also a big fan of non-empty flattery.

1) Of all your stories, I don't think this one was the more suited for a continuation. I think that the one focused on dreams was much open to that, especifically thanks to the open ending. This one isn't bad, but it isn't (in my opinion) the best one to do a sequel.

I picked "Truth or Dare 2.0" to sequelize (if that's a word) mainly because it ended with the five couples getting together, and I wanted a chance to play around a bit with the different relationship dynamics of each. In contrast, I was not anxious to try to write a sequel to "Sweet Dreams" because that story was REALLY hard to write. The trouble with setting a story in a dream world where anything can happen is that it presents you with an infinite number of options, which gave me massive decision paralysis. I got bogged down in trying to figure out how to exploit the dream world to the maximum extent possible and avoid wasting the opportunities it presented. I think it would take a more creative mind than mine to work comfortably in that sort of fictional environment.

2) I liked how you approached one of the problems that I actually currently see on the Phinbella romance. (One that can be quite devastating to their relationship, or any real relationship). And that would be, Isabella's expectations. Many times she had shown that she is *so* focused on the idea of romance, and what and how it should be, that she misses the fun. This is actually a huge mistake that many couples suffer this days, the idealization of what a romance is. Isabella is simply too focused on how their romance should be, that when she find the reality, she might find herself dissapointed and downright bored. (The series has treated this, carefully indeed, because lately she had been discovering that its way fun to not expect a pre-planned event with them). So yeah, it's actually good that you approached this. I approve of that.

Thanks! That idea came partly from a discussion I once had with a friend about the difference between love and infatuation--that love is an attraction that is based on who the other person really is, whereas infatuation is an attraction based on your own mental image of that person (which may be wildly inaccurate). The other thing that came to mind was a line in the movie HITCH when Will Smith tells Kevin James that "Fantasies are for private time. When you're in the room with her, BE IN THE ROOM." Isabella tends to leave the room and go skipping off to Phineasland when she would be much better off being in the moment.

3) Sadly, the last point is the last good thing that I liked of this works of yours. It isn't awfull, in fact it's actually really well done. But I find it lacking, when compared to your other works. It felt rushed, the smut felt lacking, the humor and smart dialogue wasn't as creative as before. And your erotica doesn't seems as good either. Again, it felt rushed, it lacked a lot of the details that made your other works enjoyable.

Trying to incorporate substantial adventure and suspense components may have resulted in my watering down the comedy and erotica somewhat. So many genres, so little bandwidth...

The last chapter was more creative, and much more relaxed than the others in how you dealed with the scenes.

I made an effort to make Phineas and Isabella's big sex scene significantly different from those in my previous stories. In those stories, it was always their first time, so their sex scenes were all about the intensity of their attraction and the joy of discovering each other. In this story, on the other hand, they had already been there and done that, so I tried to make their sex scene more about trying new things and just having fun together.

This isn't at the same level than your earlier works, but it doesn't erase that it's a good work, regardless. I hope your next project isn't as rushed as this one.

My next P&F story is going to have a very different tone than my previous ones: It will center on Suzy Johnson, so it's going to be rather dark. The idea has been percolating in my head for quite some time, and the plotline is already pretty well developed, so it shouldn't seem rushed at all once I (figuratively) get it down on paper.

In any case, I appreciate your candor, and your taking the time to write a thorough and thoughtful review.

[GeorgeGlass]

>Fairy-Slayer 2014-03-24 id # 3000069220

>I finally got a chance to listen to it, and it's so good I listened again.

I’m flattered!

>There were a lot of good bits that made me laugh or struck me as terrific, though unfortunately there was no way to note them all. However, everyone telling Phineas that Isabella had a crush on him for the longest time was adorable; the IsaBuford site was scary funny; polymer that "TASTES like chewing gum" cracked me up; everything takes longer to fix than to build was great.

I was thinking of the episode in which Baljeet’s bike got a flat tire, and it seemed to take the boys quite a while to fix it.

>The only thing that could have been cute was if the girls (at least) were still shy about undressing in front of the boys when it's just for the purpose of changing clothes, like some instinctive thing. Not a deal-breaker by any stretch.

Oh, that’s a clever idea.

>Trojan Horse - of course of course.

Neigh! J

>The plot itself was very show like, from the invention, the problem, and the B story with what Isabella (rightly, IMO) told Phineas when he was being clueless to her needs again.

Heck, even Phineas agreed with her, so yeah.

>Actually, it was one of those higher-level episodes where there was real danger (especially for Ferb) and then Candace and the community all rallied. "A very special episode" perhaps.

As soon as I got the idea of hundreds of kids wanting to pay P&F back for all great things they’ve done over the summer, I couldn’t let go of it.

>I did start to get worried about Perry and Doof not showing up, but it seems that they were saved, er, Candace was thwarted just in the nick of time. Terrific.

Yeah, I couldn’t introduce that part too early without having big gaps between their scenes, so I had to put it off for a bit.

>That targeting-system bit was hilarious.

It would explain a lot, wouldn’t it?

>Poor Stacy though, but maybe the sex strap will give her ideas for later on.

I can’t seem to write one of these stories without at least one of the teens losing her mind.

>Too bad Candace couldn't think of a way to bust her brothers for their other activities, but she had more important things in mind. Plus people who live in Glass houses and all that.

J

>The brief descriptions of the group's sexual escapades blossomed nicely as the story went along, and as it sometimes was mixed in with the relationship advice it was even poignant at times. When it became most descriptive it was excellent, and then we got a really nice recap.

Because this was a sequel, I really wanted the sex and relationships in this story to be at least somewhat more evolved than they were in the previous one; really, that was much of the point of writing this story.

>Now I just feel bad for Irving and Eva because it's going to get very confusing. But I'm not going to lose any sleep over it.

Inator effects always wear off eventually. And in the meantime, there’s got to be some entertainment value in seeing Irving try to imitate Buford. J

>Thanks for a really fun story, especially on a day that was otherwise driving me nuts. Still, even when I was home and resting it was just as good the second time. Maybe a third is in order too.

I’m very glad you enjoyed it. And thanks for yet another detailed, thoughtful, and uplifting review.