Ask A Stupid Question, Get A Stupid Answer!

[Guest Melody Fate]

Uh oh, I thought that sandwich tasted a bit dry.

How could someone mistake a book for a sandwich?

[Nanaea]

Because they lost their glasses again.

How long must this go on?

[polywolly]

Until we all die, or someone kills us. Either way, a very long, long time.

How long is too long?

[Guest Melody Fate]

If it doesn't fit all the way in, then it's too long.

How do you think the ship got into the bottle?

[quamp]

The department of Homeland Security stopped it inside there and quarantined it, suspecting explosives.

When I get through this day

Can someone tell me how

And how much longer now

Am I awake?

[NinjaGaijin]

No, you're not yet awake, Quamp. You're still inside the Matrix.

What happens if we start to replace letters with numbers in our languages?

[Guest Melody Fate]

Dogs will sleep with cats, the sun won't shine, and chaos shall rule the earth.

Do you want chaos to rule the earth?

[redsliver]

nah, he was a shitty Final Fantasy villain, give it to Kefka or X-death.

Why was he a fucking tree?

[Guest Melody Fate]

Because if you're gonna be a tree, you might as well be one that fucks.

Why do cats hate to be bathed?

[englishwitch]

Because it causes them to melt and reveal their true form: the giant rat demons that have come to enslave humanity.

Why do dogs enjoy fetching the stick no matter how many times you throw it?

[quamp]

Because they're merely amusing us. They're diverting our attention from their plans to enslave humanity.

Whatever happened to thoughtful, insightful programs?

[Guest Nympho]

It's a conspiracy, they made us think too much so the government department in charge of mind-control killed them.

Why can you never find what you need until you've bought a replacement?

[redsliver]

Otherwise the economy would crumble and you'd be living in a box.

Why do I always run out of toilet paper before I resupply?

[englishwitch]

because of the little gnomes that come into everyones houses at night. they are hired by the toilet paper comanies to steel toilet paper at night so we are forced to buy more.

if playdoh isn't meant to be eaten, why do they make it flavoured?

[Guest SilverFox-chan]

Cause they want us to eat it and become constipated, then we take too much of a laxative, and then....

Where was I going with that??

[redsliver]

to the washroom one would hope.

Say what?

[quamp]

O.k., what.

Is there a point to all of this?

[NinjaGaijin]

No, there isn't; which is exactly the point of all this.

Why are showgirls dressed like that?

[Guest Nympho]

'Cause dressing them like the teletubbies just doesn't have the same effect.

Why do bug bomb instructions tell you to wait an hour before entering the house and then when you do you still get high from the fumes?

[englishwitch]

because they don't want you to see that under the cover of the smoke the cockroaches actually come and steal all your stuff, replaycing it with a cheap replica. which is why you get offered practically nothing when you try and pawn it.

why does my hamster climb up the bars of his cage?

[Guest SilverFox-chan]

The build the strength up to smack you for putting him/her in a little plastic ball that the other animals think is meals on wheels.

Why does my finger hurt when I touch it?

[redsliver]

because you're not doing it right

How do specifically walruses (walri?) use their tusks while masturbating?

[quamp]

I'm not really sure, but I am sure that I don't want to go find out.

Why don't men ever complain of bad hair days?

[redsliver]

I haven't combed or gelled my hair since the nineties, ask someone else.

why is hair gel called product?

[Guest Nympho]

Ummmm, because it's a hair product.

Why is it when you're horniest you can never get any alone time?