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Guest Mike256bit
Posted

Of course; the rain of fire.

Who wants to hear "Ring of Fire?"

Guest Soulsearcher
Posted

Love is a many splendoured thing.

Do you believe in magic?

Posted

As much as I believe in lame commercial jingles for pudding.

How can a pudding create a "magic moment"?

Guest Soulsearcher
Posted

Well you see, when a man and a woman love each other very much and they happen to have some instant jell-o pudding on hand ...

Why do kids always pick the most embarassing moment to say something totally and completely humiliating?

Posted

It's in our genetic code to humilitate those older than us.

Will a person's head really cave in if they pick their nose too much?

Guest Mike256bit
Posted

Don't worry, I'm sure federal grants will fund a study.

Why would I take the aardvark?

Guest Soulsearcher
Posted

Because Noah's ark didn't have any seats available.

Why are small fuzzy things so darn cute?

Guest Melody Fate
Posted

Because they send out brainwaves that hypmotise us. "You must obey the cute, you must obey the cute!"

Should cats be given their own zip code?

Posted

I'm...not sure about this one.... You may have to ask an older and much wiser person than I...

Do you suppose cats can read?

Posted

Ever smell a guy's sock after it's been on his foot all day?

Just how do I get rid of that nasty ring around the collar?

Posted

with ring remover.

And with what, pray tell, does one use to exterminate annoying neighbors?

Posted

Depends how drunk the interviewer is.

Why does my ass hurt?

Guest Melody Fate
Posted

Because the human race often sucks.

Why won't the boss let us have office chair races?

Posted

Hmm... I asked mine, but all she would say is "GET BACK TO WORK, YOU LAZY ASSHOLE!!!

Why do bosses always underrate your value to the company?

Posted

Because, in order to overrate themselves, they must steal our precious value...and our jewel shards.

Why does everything I happen to see on Cartoon Network at 3am have something to do with "jewel shards"?

Posted

Once you collect all the jewel shards in this level, you'll find out.

This is the new millenium, where's my jetpack and hovercar?

Posted

That was a cruel mind game that Hannah/Barbera played on our itty bitty minds, all part of an evil television experiment that is still playing out. I think those behind it all may be little white mice...

Why do people get sick?

Guest Melody Fate
Posted

So they'll appreciate being well more.

So, why do people tell kids such fantastical bullshit, like, "getting sick only makes you appreciate being well"?

Guest Madapple
Posted

Because much of human race (present company excepted) is fundamentally uncreative, and makes up platitudes to compensate for mental shortcomings.

*************

Why are 'weaknesses' usually considered bad?

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