Anesor Posted May 25, 2013 Report Posted May 25, 2013 Belated thanks for reviews for Griffin's Walk http://games.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600088240, which starts with the Grey Wardens Cousland and Alistair having to deal with the mage who she had inducted into the Wardens, and was very bad in DA2. Starting here with reviews for Chapter 6. BronxWench's review: I really am enjoying this tale, as the political maneuverings encroach on the relationship between Alistair and Atrynne. It really is the bronto in the room, isn't it? I'm eager to see what Anora has up her delicate sleeve. Yes, even if Alistair has refused the throne, once revealed and he has helped kill the arch-demon, he never can go back to being a nobody again. Even if he pledges to not contest the throne, if her rule falls many will be happy to go back to the Therin bloodline, so the nobles will want him to breed. After all, he's proven himself far more than his half brother had. pittwitch's review: Very well done, the prompts flowed so naturally that I had to go back and look for them! Excellent work. Thank you. That's really a major goal with these prompts, isn't it? Some words are easier than others though. aren't they? Quote
Anesor Posted July 16, 2013 Author Report Posted July 16, 2013 pittwitch reviewed: I so enjoy these forays into such a foreign land, for me anyway. Well done in using all three words, and creating a very despicable queen. I like having someone to dislike in a story. Thanks for sharing! PW Anora is that way in the canon, she coldly used others to secure her own release from 'protective custody' by one of her usurper father's allies. Expedient and unsentimental, she was a beloved and skillful queen by her people when war came. If she's a cold witch, I've gotten her just about right as many players don't want to give her the throne because she is so good at the power games. 'All the better to trap you with my pretty...' Thanks for the review! Quote
Anesor Posted July 29, 2013 Author Report Posted July 29, 2013 BronxWench reviewed: Chapter 7The gratitude of kings, and queens, is a fleeting thing. Anora shows a hint of weakness, though, for all that she exerts her authority. But Attryne has not taken advantage of that lapse, to her credit, and she shows her greater nobility.But I will admit, the delicate game of words was a delight to read! Well Loghain and Anora by birth were commoners, they weren't raised from the cradle to duty. For now the queen holds all the cards... Thanks for the review! Quote
BronxWench Posted July 29, 2013 Report Posted July 29, 2013 Exactly, and Anora's common blood shows in the way she exerts her authority. Very much like her father, who managed not to learn from Maric how to rule. Quote
Anesor Posted September 14, 2013 Author Report Posted September 14, 2013 (edited) Review for Griffin's Walk: Inconvenience (should actually be Griffin's walk chapter 0) Melrick Nice use of the prompts! I'm not really familiar with the fandom but I enjoyed this, and it made me want to know more, which is always a good sign with stories. Good job. :-) Thanks. I've always liked murder mysteries where you don't have anything like a modern police force, which includes fantasy worlds and many SF ones. Your words just sound like a forensics case to me. Edited September 14, 2013 by Anesor Quote
Anesor Posted October 1, 2013 Author Report Posted October 1, 2013 Review for Griffin's Walk: Interruptions Chapter 1 review from BronxWench: A very charming little inn, complete with bodies in the rooms. Just what Trinna and Alistair did not need, especially after Antiva, with all its leather tanneries. (Thank you, Zevran, for that lovely bit of travelogue that will never quite leave.)Toss in some politics, and this will be a fine pickle for them... I'm looking forward to the rest! LOL, no this won't have a lot of politics. It is a locked inn mystery. Just be glad I decided not to model something on And Then There Were None... Thanks! Chapter 2 review from BronxWench: This has such an air of menace, even given that the Fereldan setting tends to breed menace, between politics, residual darkspawn and betrayal at every turn. I especially liked to touch of having Barr simply faint from the pressure he was under. Thanks, with the twin reasons for PTSD there of Blight and civil war, people would be wary for a long time. sometimes it's the small battles, not the Teyrns or Archdemons. (ie no extra clues for you! here) Thanks for the reviews! Quote
Anesor Posted October 21, 2013 Author Report Posted October 21, 2013 Pittwitch said for Chapter 3 Griffin's Walk: Inconvenience: Well done, as always. I like this little trip into sleuthing! You know it's a little fun to try for a fair mystery in a world without forensics and with magic... Thanks for the review! Quote
pittwitch Posted October 21, 2013 Report Posted October 21, 2013 Most welcome! I do enjoy your tale even though it is not a familiar fandom. You write well enough to make it all come alive for me. Quote
Anesor Posted October 28, 2013 Author Report Posted October 28, 2013 (edited) Sorry, this is a little confusing, but Griffin's Walk is a longer story about the Warden and Alistair. Griffin's Walk: Inconvenience is the prequel, but they are the same leads. BronxWench's review of GW:Inconvenience Chapter 3The mystery deepens, but I have faith in the detecting abilities of Trinna and Alistair, and the ever faithful Mouser. And yes, it pays to get the very best runes. Wonderful use of the word prompts! Yep, locked room/inn mystery, and no tradition of Agatha Christie or Ellery Queen. It's a different mindset that today's forensics and evidence paradigym. Thanks for the review! BronxWench's review of Griffin's Walk Chapter 9Oh, how the plotting grows, and the demands of bloodlines trump the realities of Grey Wardens. I'm rooting for Trinna and Alistair to pull off a firm rebuke, and go for what's truly important, rather than dance to such a sour tune.Superb use of the prompt words - very deftly done! It would be so much easier if they weren't attached, wouldn't it? A good general shouldn't let sentiment lead, and that's what Trinna was raised to. Thanks for the review!! Edited November 7, 2013 by Anesor Quote
Anesor Posted November 9, 2013 Author Report Posted November 9, 2013 BronxWench's review of Griffin's Walk: Chapter 10I always feel somewhat sorry for Alistair when he gets caught between these two strong women. A gamble that lost, yes, but it isn't just Alistair and Attryne that have lost here, I think. Anora's shown a great deal of weakness in her unrelenting drive to force Trinna and Alistair apart, without showing clear political gain since Trinna most likely won't have an heir. Nothing worse than an ill-informed leader, not to mention one who's oblivious to the Tevinter threat right under her nose. Not that I won't snicker happily when Anora fails as publicly as she's humiliated one of her noble subjects.Lovely and deft use of the prompt words, as always! Alistair's a nice guy, even hardened he's not going to change his basic nature to be a player. I'm glad I've gotten venom for how Anora acts, means that I think I've gotten her just about right. Thanks, I was worried about finding justification for the ship. I'm hoping the 'R' words will be cooperative with this story... Thanks for the review! Quote
Anesor Posted November 13, 2013 Author Report Posted November 13, 2013 pittwitch's lovely review said for Griffin's Walk ch 10: I am in awe. The story advances and all three words! Amazing work, Anesor. Thanks! Recent words have been trickier, haven't they? (I'm just glad I've been able to cram in some other writing with my ambitious NaNo goal....) Quote
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