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Posted

I recently saw a thread on this board about a letter to your 16
year old self. When I started writing I realized my problems started
earlier and I had to go back even further for my info to be relevant.
If you want post a letter of your own to your 10 year old self with
some advice that will help you in the future.


Dear 10 year old me,

Come out of the closet now! I know these recently discovered
feelings are scary and you just hope they will go away, but they
don't. This is not a phase. It is not something you will grow out of
and if you don't confront it now you will regret it for the rest of
your life and miss out on some great experiences. I know you are just
a scared little boy and the world is not quite ready to accept this
lifestyle yet. But trust me it will save you loads of heartache in
the future. You must be brave and embrace this head on even if you
are alone in doing so. Plus you have more support than you know ( and
no your parents don't try to send you away.)


Try out for some sports teams. I know you suck at sports but it's

more about the team comrodery than physical ability. In the future
you want to be able to watch movies like the Mighty Ducks without
feeling sad, like you missed out on a big part of your childhood.

Be prepared for heartache. You two are inseparable now but one day
your best friend will dump you in favor of the "cool"
kids. Don't hang around and beg him to hang out with you again. Let
him go and one day he will realize the mistake he made.



Don't dwell on being "cool". By the time you become a

young adult the world is a much harder place. Blue collar work no
longer provides the decent standard of living it did for some of your
friends parents. You will gladly trade 12 years of dorkiness for your
above average intelligence and the ability to live comfortably while
your classmates struggle.



Seize opportunity. Be safe but fool around a little bit
sexually with friends. Take the initiative and bring up the subject,
some will be willing. Tell the boys you will develop

crushes on how you feel about them. You might be surprised how they
react, and you never know where it can lead. I know you hate it now
but don't be surprised if at some point in the future you develop a
love for writing. Especially fictional love stories with a sexual
theme.



Finally don't be in a rush to grow up. Once you reach the adult
world you find it's not all it's cracked up to be. Enjoy being a kid
and carefree. You will realize later that you would gladly trade the
few freedoms adulthood brings for the chance to relieve your
childhood any day.



Thats about all the advice I have for you. Hopefully I can
help you avoid some painful pitfalls. Well catch up in 12 years and
see how you did.




Your friend forever,


My 22 year old self









Posted

Dear 10 year old me,

Your life will not turn out the way you thought it would. There's going to be years of hell and torment which will physically and mentally scar you for life. Females won't just fall at your feet, no matter how nice you are or how long you wait. I'm still not sure yet whether it'll be all worth while sticking around, but you might as well give it a shot. Oh, fyi, your parents aren't immortal. I know, shocking; it sure took me by surprise. You might want to keep that in mind when you think dad is just a big pain in the arse, because otherwise you'll likely spend the rest of your life cursing yourself, and spending every day wishing you could have just 5 more minutes with someone who'll never be there to talk to ever again.

My 40 year old self

  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

I think my biggest family problem started earlier than this, but...it's a good point.

Dear my 10-year-old self,

I still don't know how to make Dad listen to things he doesn't want to hear about his wife. (And I'm sorry you'll eventually come to the realization that he's a sexist asshole, because it sure made me feel bad.) So don't bother playing nice; skip school one day after you've turned thirteen and go tell a judge that you want to live with your mom; it will save you no end of BS with...well, her initials are B. S., so you know who I mean.... It will make your dad feel hurt and pissed off, but it seems like most of the things you/I do have that effect. It's not like it makes him more difficult to deal with; he's still the same old angry person to you/me, even though Grandma swears he's gotten better with everyone else. (She'll rave about it, in fact, so don't be shy; tell her you don't want to hear about it when he can't be bothered to show that side of him to his own daughter. She'll feel hurt, but that's as much on your dad as it is on you, make no mistake.)

Your step siblings might be good, responsible adults in the end, but if they do it's thanks to your dad, so just stay out of it. The one your age is badmouthing you to your classmates and friends, anyway; she doesn't deserve your time and effort.

Keep in touch with your family as best you can. They love you, even if your dad is really dumb about holding grudges against you when he's worked out most of his other anger issues. The twins...aren't a problem you can resolve, much as you will want to. It's up to their dad to boot them out--and the way things are going, he just might.

Talk to your grandpa more often. You know, the hermit one. He's one of the few who's always been there for you and who is liked by both sides of your family. He gets cancer at one point; I don't know how much longer he'll be around.

You have a lot more in common with your sister than you think you do. I won't scar you by going into the details, but let's just say that some of your tastes have to have had something to do with the way you were raised.

The guy you end up with who is willing to compromise, his family can be overbearing and ridiculously demanding. I'm sorry, but try to let him deal with them; you don't want to ruin relationships and drive away his family. Your family is much more accepting, much more willing to like him. (Your grandmother is actually kind of mean to him, believe it or not, because they're both dyslexic. He doesn't usually mind, so let him set the boundaries he wants to draw with your family. Except maybe your dad, but then I'm still rebuilding a relationship with him and you know how he can be....)

I know you probably miss Buddy and Grandpa Jamie, but they're still there in spirit. Grandpa Jamie even goes with your grandma to your sister's wedding, and Buddy, you know he's never been one to let his family face danger alone.

Try to keep in touch with your closest cousins; seems like either you're moving or they are, and then it's all a mess.

When you have problems with the rules set by your dad's wife and your family is involved, let them have at him. Your family will get better results than you will. (It's not your fault, either; your dad's just a sexist idiot asshole. Oh, and the first really big, nearly-break-up fight that your dad has with his wife? It's over you.)

Maybe you should stop playing nice with your dad's wife, while I'm thinking of it. I did, and I told him that I would finish any fight she started (and that if I started one, I would come back and apologize later). He tried to tell me that I should, "be the mature one," and I quite nastily rammed it back down his throat. I also later ranted about it to relatives, and I assume some of them managed to beat sense into his head over time, because he hasn't suggested even public dinners with her since. So...stop playing nice. She doesn't deserve it and most of your family wants to beat the snot out of her anyway.

Drop by your mom's every now and then, even after you move out. She needs the female contact, living in a house with so many guys. And besides, you know you're probably going to be the child she lives with when she can't live alone. (And, besides that, she likes your intended. She even lets him be the one to take your youngest brother on bathroom trips in public places, which says a lot about her trust. Since your man has no problems with your mom, it's pretty much guaranteed that you'll be the one she lives with later in life.)

Drop in to see your sister's side of the family, too; they love you as another daughter, and really, aren't they your parents, too, whatever the law and blood connections might or might not say? They don't care about forewarning, either, so just knock.

And, whatever else you do, keep writing. Draw, if you have the inspiration--you do wonderful chibis, and that pic of Buddy you'll start is gorgeous, though you haven't finished it yet. But above all, write. Write your original stories; you've got some good ones rattling around in your head, so share them.

My 24-year-old self

Posted (edited)

Dear 10 year old self,

Its not the end of the world being told you will be held back! Yes i know that you will get teased and feel like a total loser but think about this, if you weren't going to get held back, you would not meet your true friend in the 7th grade and finally make friends that will last for a lifetime. Yes your special ed teacher is a total bitch towards you and the other class, but look at the bright side of this, you will someday overcome this learning disability and you will be going to college to learn how to help others with your problem. Don't give up after its decided you will be held back just keep on going and reaching your goal!

My 28 year old self

Edited by kagome2526
Posted

Dear 10 year old self,

It doesn't really matter what I write here; because if my memory serves me right, you won't have the attention span to get past the "dear 10 year old self".

Sincerely,

You in 20 years.

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