Vocabulary Turn-offs

[StoryJunkie]

^ God, that's hilarious. and almost makes sense...

[Juno]

One thing that doesn't really turn me off or make me turn away from a story in disgust, but somewhat annoys me is when an author will say "flat tummy" when referring to a female's midsection in a sex scene. I mean, yeah, sure, I guess the author is trying to say the girl is skinny and attractive, but honestly, even skinny chicks have some sort of fat built up over their stomach. Biologically speaking, it's there to protect the uterus, so only anorexic girls would have a truly flat or concave stomach. I don't see why a natural curve seems so unappealing to people--it's there, whether you want it to be or not. Then again, I guess it does depend on how realistic the author wants their story to be.

[greenwizard]

There have been times where I'll be reading a story and the author will use a word for something that will make me laugh or roll my eyes. But I think it's stupid to stop reading a story because of a word. If it's a good story, forget about the word and enjoy it!

And from a writers perspective... What do you people want!? Someone said they don't mind the word "cock" as long as it isn't used over and over again. But one by one all of you have eliminated pretty much every other word out there. So what words are we supposed to use exactly? Am I supposed to just sit down and invent words?

That's something I as an author have always had trouble with. I never know what terms to use for certain parts of human anatomy. And this topic just completely blew me away. What irks me is to find out that I can pour my heart and soul into writing a story, and no matter how good it really is, someone is likely to turn away in disgust because they didn't like a word I used.....

[Kanashii]

Celebrity names is the way to go Kanashii

"Tom grabbed Susies Jolies as he twisted her Cruise then inserted his finger roughly into her Witherspoon she moaned in passion as she ground her Madonna against him and then began to guide his Richard Gere

into her Fatty Arbuckle"

Oh my!!!!! Now that is funny Joe! Anyone else wanna play the game?

[cu-kid9]

And from a writers perspective... What do you people want!? Someone said they don't mind the word "cock" as long as it isn't used over and over again. But one by one all of you have eliminated pretty much every other word out there. So what words are we supposed to use exactly? Am I supposed to just sit down and invent words?

Ha! No, you can always go with Joandoe's suggestion and use celebrity names Hilarious, by the way.

I got a review once that told me that my descriptions in my sex scenes were too technical...which I didn't really get, because it's not like I was using anatomy text book terms. It is frustrating to think of how to word things sometimes, but I wouldn't necessarily worry about people completely hating a story because of one word.

[Guest dwitefry]

How about calling the breasts pillows?

Beth

This made me think instantly of the film Carrie (the mother referes to breasts only as 'dirty pillows', if you haven't seen it then make note to so do) and made me vow to in an upcoming story (any upcomnig story) have someone refer to breasts as 'dirty pillows' just for the laugh.

Can you imagine reading "and I put my cock between her soft, dirty pillows and thurst?" it would make me laugh!

The only words that annoy me are ones that are used over and over, particularly in a very short space of each other (life five words apart), I don't like saying the word 'pussy' but I will use it now and again if I've run out of other words to use.

MeX

[DemonGoddess]

Oh my!!!!! Now that is funny Joe! Anyone else wanna play the game?

Feel free to start a game like this in the forum games section. While I know I'd not have anything to contribute to it, it would certainly be funny to read. Just a couple of the examples in this topic are hysterical!

@greenwizard- you should just write what comes to you, never mind that a few people have problems with words. Honestly, I think most of what you're seeing as far as a rant regarding all this is more the overuse of a particular word/phrase in a paragraph.

[AmberRose]

.....A Large throbbing member of AFFnet, Evil Cal

That made my night

[shinigamiinochi]

I'd play the celebrity game except for the fact that I often don't know what body part is being discussed when people use terms like that. I'm very technical in my sex descriptions. I mean, I greatly prefer calling semen 'cum' instead of *shudder* 'boy juice.' I do like some exaggeration, but when it gets too much, like the latter mentioned term, it just reminds me of poorly written romance novels. However, i try not to let those terms keep from enjoying the fic. Bad grammar, on the other hand, makes the story too hard to read, so after awhile, I get frustrated and stop reading. I don't think everyone needs a beta. I've never had one and I've never had any complaints about poor grammar or other such problems. Personally, I like posting my stuff the second that I finish it, so I've never sought out a beta. I don't like it when people tell me I've done something wrong if they don't tell me how to fix it, so if so many people have a problem with this sexual language, how can we fix it? Of course, there will always be discrepancies with language. I like to use cock, which bothers my friend, who likes to use 'love rod', which annoys me.

[NinjaGaijin]

I finally found something to write in this thread. It doesn't actually stop me from reading, but it does annoy me if I come across it.

"OH MY GOD!" and its variations, said while fucking.

Mentioning deity during intercourse, IMO, takes away the hotness. It gets worse if the deity got specified (I've seen the following in various fics: Jesus, Allah, Zeus, Kami-sama... but no one mentioned Cthulhu. Yet.)

I know (from Western porn) that this might be a correct portrayal of how you westerners fuck, but I just find it not sexy. For comparison, local people here grunt and moan and say stuff about pleasure and/or pain while fucking, but they never get the need to shout out to the supposed creator while having sex.

[Ginevra]

I finally found something to write in this thread. It doesn't actually stop me from reading, but it does annoy me if I come across it.

"OH MY GOD!" and its variations, said while fucking.

Mentioning deity during intercourse, IMO, takes away the hotness. It gets worse if the deity got specified (I've seen the following in various fics: Jesus, Allah, Zeus, Kami-sama... but no one mentioned Cthulhu. Yet.)

I know (from Western porn) that this might be a correct portrayal of how you westerners fuck, but I just find it not sexy. For comparison, local people here grunt and moan and say stuff about pleasure and/or pain while fucking, but they never get the need to shout out to the supposed creator while having sex.

While I typically don't do a whole lot of talking during the act...Um...The things I actually do say are usually my husband's name, "Oh God" or "Fuck me." So I tend to use those words when I write dialogue during sex scenes. You write what you know, I suppose. It may well be a cultural thing, I haven't the breadth of experience to judge as all my lovers have been American.

I do find it kind of funny and silly when there is tons of dialogue during sex. Sometimes you make an effort to "talk dirty" to your partner. But how many folks actually hold full conversations?

[Tricia1224]

Well drats.....What the hell is left?

"Tom grabbed Susies EAR as he twisted her HEAD then inserted his finger roughly into her NOSE

she moaned in passion as she ground her FOOT against him and then began to guide his HAND

into her SHARP TEETH. "

Well now THAT kind of story would make me quit reading real fast. It would be like that "Mad libs" game.

This could be very funny or very sexy. Either way, I love Madlibs.

Edited February 20, 2008 by Tricia1224

[Kanashii]

I started this thread over on "forum GAMES", with two stories one can pick (M/F or Yaoi) to fill the blanks in. Go check it out, we'll see if we can get some of us to make up some hilarious stuff!

Warmly

[DodgeSuperBee]

It's not enough to make me stop reading, but I laugh when a character exclaims, "I'M COOOMMMIIINNGGG!!!!Eleventy-one11!!!!!!!!" It feels more like a progress report on their arousal: "I'm getting excited...more excited...I'm coming!" There are other ways their partner might be able to guess they're at that crucial point.

[DemonGoddess]

Kanashii's madlibs thread it's ALREADY very funny

[chanda]

Really...what's left? Moreover, I have to agree, there are too many opinionated people out there. Come on...what are we to call our anatomy now?

Wow!

You guys are a tough crowd!

No using the words....

Pussy

vagina

twat

folds

nether lips

moisture

cunt

or...

impaled

fucked

cum

or...

dick

penis

rod

member

Well drats.....What the hell is left?

"Tom grabbed Susies _______ as he twisted her________ then inserted his finger roughly into her______

she moaned in passion as she ground her _________ against him and then began to guide his________

into her_______,________. "

Well now THAT kind of story would make me quit reading real fast. It would be like that "Mad libs" game.

Maybe I oughta write a smut piece just like the above and leave the blanks for all verbs, nouns and adjectives and let the readers insert their own according to their turn-offs or ons.

See, I'm a very EASY to please reader. All I ask is you have some decent grammar (no I'm not a grammar policewoman, and I don't mind the occasional typos) If someone wants to describe MALE anatomy as "Dick, penis, rod, member, throbbing, etc" I'm not going to have a hissy about it and quit reading their story...

Personally, as a woman, I don't get the big aversion to the word cunt, either....(Unless someone is CALLING someone that name to be rude) nor do I have an aversion to calling it a twat, pussy, vagina, etc.

Sometimes I think people are just waaaaaaaaaaaay to overly offended in todays world. But that is just my humble opinion.

Warmly,

[goofball]

The things I actually do say are usually my husband's name, "Oh God" or "Fuck me." So I tend to use those words when I write dialogue during sex scenes. You write what you know, I suppose. It may well be a cultural thing, I haven't the breadth of experience to judge as all my lovers have been American.

I'm so glad someone else does this "oh god" thing (and I'm not even religious), but it's just *smirk* short enough to get out repeatedly when the brain stops working.

Anyway, I had no idea that cunt had such a bad rap? I like it better then most of the German words and use it not only in my stories (if I write het). But then again, my stories are mostly on the perverted side anyway. And if my characters use dirty talk, I might as well use bad words to describe their genitals

[Ginevra]

I'm so glad someone else does this "oh god" thing (and I'm not even religious), but it's just *smirk* short enough to get out repeatedly when the brain stops working.

Anyway, I had no idea that cunt had such a bad rap? I like it better then most of the German words and use it not only in my stories (if I write het). But then again, my stories are mostly on the perverted side anyway. And if my characters use dirty talk, I might as well use bad words to describe their genitals

Yeah. If things are going well, I'm not capable of saying much more than a two word phrase.

In the U.S., "cunt" is one of the ugliest things you can call a woman. I don't know how the word got that kind of baggage, but it is ugly enough to end relationships over. Were I dating a man and he whipped that out in an argument, I'd probably dump him. If he weren't already in the process of dumping me. It's worse than calling a woman a slut, whore, bitch, or nearly any other single word I can think of at the moment. "Pussy" can be used playfully and is often used to refer to a man as being wimpy. "Twat" isn't something commonly used in my experience, I think it's more of a European term, though most Americans would understand what you mean.

For reference. I live in the Southeastern U.S. Regional usage might vary a little.

[goofball]

In the U.S., "cunt" is one of the ugliest things you can call a woman. I don't know how the word got that kind of baggage, but it is ugly enough to end relationships over. Were I dating a man and he whipped that out in an argument, I'd probably dump him. If he weren't already in the process of dumping me. It's worse than calling a woman a slut, whore, bitch, or nearly any other single word I can think of at the moment. "Pussy" can be used playfully and is often used to refer to a man as being wimpy. "Twat" isn't something commonly used in my experience, I think it's more of a European term, though most Americans would understand what you mean.

Thank you for explaining that!

And just to make sure you all know that I don't have that bad manners: I'd never use cunt outside the bedroom (or wherever one might get sexually involved with each other).

I don't use the German equivalent for cunt either, even if I'm really mad at a woman.

[Guest Zyx]

Is belly good? Or is there a better word meaning exactly the same? I don't know... It always seems a bit wrong...

and while I'm asking stuff anyway: is this correct use of the ; thingy?

I sat down next to one of the girls and soon lost track of the conversation; unable to keep my mind off depressing thoughts.

[Guest Allusion]

_^CUM.

I feel like I've regressed back to middle school when somebody uses that word. It turns me off instantly. If there isn't a hell of a good fic backing up that word I am moving on to the next story. And trying to forget some rather crude immature jokes that went around involving cumquats.

Few words really turn me off, but I think that any word used in a repetative manner wil have a negitive effect. Overuse is never fun.

[icewo1f]

Woot I am proud to say I have none of those words in my stories! As sexually sexual as they are!

[Harley Quinn hyenaholic]

I don't mind the crude words as long as they're being used as character references - some characters will think or say the word 'cunt'. Now I don't think that's sexy, but as long as I'm not EXPECTED to, I don't really mind. For some characters, it's IC to think/say those words.

On the other hand, some writers will use it in their sex scene as a sexy turn on word and it doesn't work for me at all.

There's only one word that really turns me right off - scat.

[bitBlackmage]

O EM GEE.

That ends writing a sex scene for me. I'll just allude to one and end the chapter. Yeah there's personal preference, but there's no point in writing if an audience can't handle itty-bitty descriptives (not talking about the ridiculous ones either).

Edited March 14, 2008 by bitBlackmage

[lunaticfringe13]

Not much turns me off, except for poorly written stories and atrocious spelling and grammar. If it's more hardcore, go with hardcore terminology. Tender and romantic, use flowery euphemisms. A humorous story, indulge in amusing metaphors. I suppose the only thing that would leave me cold/indifferent would be reading nothing but clinical terms in a sex scene:

He inserted his penis into her vagina, moving it back and forth until he ejaculated, the semen from his testes travelling via the vas deferens until it was expelled and deposited into her vaginal canal when he orgasmed. Man, that's steamy. If I want something that sterile, I'll curl up with a copy of the Merck Manual.

Two words I didn't see on the list:

Quim and cunny (popular in Victorian era porn/erotica). Cunt (overcame my aversion to that long ago, it's just a word) and pussy don't really bother me if they fit the overall tone of a story. Personally, I don't see how you can write any kind of anal sex scene without the use of rectum or anus at least once or twice.

I tend to use "come" or "came" when referring to climaxing; "cum" for ejaculate/semen.