Vocabulary Turn-offs

[Cuzosu]

Apart from such bizarre bits of phrasing as "furry clam," "love muffin," "man rod" and "tuna taco" - which are just disturbing, thanks, let's not even use those, people.... Anyway, the main vocabulary turn offs, for me, are those obnoxious grammar mix ups (your vs. you're, their vs. there vs. they're, etc.); poor phrasing (if it's illogical or doesn't make you think of what you're trying to describe immediately, it's probably not going to work for the readers); people too often misspelling things (because there are so many free spell checks out there, and free word programs that have spell check, and while they're not always correct, they work fine for the most part, so I don't like this trend of poor spelling); and, this being one of the things that turns me off a story the fastest: an excessively crass story. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against cussing (as Mark Twain so notably observed, at times "profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer"), but using swear words more than a few (2, 3 at most) times in a paragraph when (a) the character is not pissed off, or (b) the character isn't speaking or thinking...that's excessive and tells me that the author didn't care enough about the work itself to switch up the phrasing so as not to bore the readers, so why should I care about reading it? I understand that some characters (and people in real life) swear excessively; that's fine, portray that...through the way the character speaks and/or thinks. If it's not speaking or thinking, even if it's describing a character, swearing should be kept to a minimum. It's a matter of courtesy - to the author's own self and to the readers, both.

I get that people know the difference of the words when they're spoken (usually), but it drives me nuts when, for example, someone uses "through" instead of "threw." It makes me seriously wonder if none of them made it through middle school English classes. If the author's foreign, hey, that's great - it takes guts to post a story in a language that you're not native to. I can forgive a few mistakes, easy. But if there's a lot of them, please, go find a beta. And if it's your native language and you're not great with spelling and/or grammar - especially if someone points it out to you and suggests you find a beta - please, by all means, go. Find. A beta. They're worth it. The really good ones will edit for you and play sounding board - help you keep the story on track if there's a plot, and find ways for you to mesh ideas you really want to include. This makes a lot of difference sometimes, especially if you're trying to keep to a plot and the porn just keeps interfering. (Not that I mind porn; if I did, I wouldn't be here. But if there's supposed to be plot, please, there shouldn't be a sex scene every chaper.)

If it's an easily fixable mistake, basically, and it shows up a lot, I find I can't read the story.

*shrug* The way I put it may have been a bit harsh (I have been told I'm too brutally honest at times), but that's how I see it. If a word or phrase is not used by more than one generation, it may not - and probably won't - come across as appealing to readers of another generation. As much as I love creative descriptions, the author starts failing to maintain quality when the readers stop understanding it. If it's aimed at a specific generation, say so. Targeting one generational audience may exclude another; this applies to generational gaps and different areas alike - sayings take time to migrate away from their point of origin. Swearing is fairly well universal, discounting language differences. Creative swearing is interesting if done right, but some combinations of words just don't work well. And, while I myself swear sometimes, I have a lot of admiration for any person who can insult people horribly without cussing. I think this is true of most readers, but I could be wrong.

I admit that I'm a hard-liner about a lot of things, though, so maybe I'm coming across rather harsh about all this, but these are the things that bother me the most in writing.

[Raymy]

I like the word "cunt" myself, mainly because I butcher a British accent something fierce and saying "You can't!" makes me giggle. Reminds me of the old wordplay "you can't say cunt in Canada" where the hilarity was that they pronounced "can't" and "cunt" exactly the same.

Hey! That's so totally not true! If it were, I'd be giggling all day long. I'm really immature when it comes to that kind of innuendo. For instance, when I'm working in the lab, I have to retrieve racks from the machine. I like to comment to my coworkers that "I can't wait to get my racks off!" and then I giggle and sometimes "guffaw".

[Raymy]

For some reason, the word "entrance" when used in a gay sex scene really bothers me. I dunno, maybe it's the fact that the anus isn't actually meant to be an entrance, but an exit. I prefer the usage of other words when it comes to that. This is really recent too; I think I even used that word way back when.

This makes no sense to me. It's a gay sex scene! It is too an entrance, as well as an exit. It's not a scat fic! So it's not strictly an exit. And "anus" isn't very sexy when written in anal sex scenes. It again connotes defecation. However, I have used it, because of its specificity. I usually use entrance, opening, or hole. Also, "isn't actually meant to be an entrance" is very telling. Hmm, are you sure you're reading the right fic for your sensibilities? If you ever have a doctor probe your rectum, are you going to be able to tell her that? Or the medical technician who sends the camera up your butt to look for polyps? Yeah, just cause I'm referencing medical procedures, doesn't mean the point is lost. I'm trying to say that even the medical community sees it as an entrance, so what it is "meant to be" is how we use it. Wouldn't there be a one way valve if it was meant to go only one way?

BTW, gays aren't the only ones who enjoy anal sex. Where do you think some of us get our ideas from? I don't think I could write about something I know nothing about, even though you can substitute a women's "love envelope" into the same imagery.

The cock slides in [entrance], the cock slides out [exit], pushes in [entrance], pulls out [exit]. It's as natural and "meant to be" as breathing. Inhale, exhale.

*Hyperventilating while gazing off into the ceiling*

Anyone else get horny from it?

[Cuzosu]

This makes no sense to me. It's a gay sex scene! It is too an entrance, as well as an exit. It's not a scat fic! So it's not strictly an exit. And "anus" isn't very sexy when written in anal sex scenes. It again connotes defecation. However, I have used it, because of its specificity. I usually use entrance, opening, or hole. Also, "isn't actually meant to be an entrance" is very telling. Hmm, are you sure you're reading the right fic for your sensibilities? If you ever have a doctor probe your rectum, are you going to be able to tell her that? Or the medical technician who sends the camera up your butt to look for polyps? Yeah, just cause I'm referencing medical procedures, doesn't mean the point is lost. I'm trying to say that even the medical community sees it as an entrance, so what it is "meant to be" is how we use it. Wouldn't there be a one way valve if it was meant to go only one way?

BTW, gays aren't the only ones who enjoy anal sex. Where do you think some of us get our ideas from? I don't think I could write about something I know nothing about, even though you can substitute a women's "love envelope" into the same imagery.

The cock slides in [entrance], the cock slides out [exit], pushes in [entrance], pulls out [exit]. It's as natural and "meant to be" as breathing. Inhale, exhale.

*Hyperventilating while gazing off into the ceiling*

Anyone else get horny from it?

Well argued. I agree - though of course I beg for moderation in word usage! Use 'em too much and they wear out my ears! (Or eyes, rather, if you want to be technical. ) Throw in a little slang here and there, if the characters can manage it! ('cause some of us really do drawl horribly when we talk, and I'm one of them when I get either really amused or really tired.)

Just please, please, please, whatever else you do when writing (to anyone who cares to listen), change up your words, use different phrasing, find a new word every day and use it in your story so you remember it later. I kid you not, those of us who truly enjoy reading will appreciate you for it. Because expanding one's vocabulary should be something every writer enjoys, and because we who read for pleasure like to find those wonderful stories that send our minds flying beyond where the book ends...even if this means we sit with a dictionary in our laps and the books in our hands (or on the computer) while we get caught up. Although I admit that we can't all be like my muralist grandfather and randomly flip through the dictionary in order to find at least one word a day we didn't know before. Though it's tempting. At least for me.