Request revised: I am punctuationally deficient, help me please!

[Guest kitdkatwrites]

I am in the process of writing an original male/male story with far too man tags to list here. It is occasionally a harsh story with a smattering of rape, torture, poor parenting, abuse but I am am hoping for a fluffy HEA in the end. I have been using a basic punctuation guide from a grammar website but after reading some of the comments it is only helping a little bit. Commas, semi colons etc just do not compute in my head. The only hard and fast rule about commas that I know is that when they appear in a song that is where you breathe. One reader did a rough edit on the first ten chapters but after that she said the story was too emotionally hard for her to read. I am a babe lost in the woods please come save me. I'll stick a link below to the story so if anybody has any interest please let me know.

I've been advised that my proposed timeline is too short so I can easily go down to one chapter a week, giving any beta a week to read it over. The chapters are never very long, I write in the Mac Text program so I don't know how many pages they come out to be but maybe around 3-4 pages per chapter. Please post any questions you have for me here or email them kitdkatwrites@gmail.com
Thank you in advance everyone!

http://original.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600105862

Edited December 31, 2012 by kitdkatwrites

[pittwitch]

If you read something aloud, the comma works the same as it does for music -- where you would pause to breathe usually demands a comma.

[Guest kitdkatwrites]

I guess I need to breathe more often then. Maybe I can blame my lack of punctuation on oxygen deprivation...

[pittwitch]

I've looked over your story. You do seem to rush a bit. Remember too: proper address always requires a comma. For example, "Thank you, Dr. Nina," said Aric.

[Cuzosu]

Semi-colons, broadly speaking, are used in lists (usually when there are commas also involved, to show what is actually in the list and what is merely a comment) and to separate complete sentences where you don't want the longer pause a period would denote.

For example, using a random line from a Laurell K. Hamilton novel, "Neither good nor evil conquers all, but evil cheats more." You could change it, using a semi-colon, into: "Neither good nor evil conquers all; evil cheats more, that's all." Of course you could mess more with the phrasing if you wished, but do you see what I mean?

And as pittwitch pointed out, commas are used to show that you're talking to somebody instead of about them.

[Raymy]

Very sound advice given by pittwitch and Cuzosu, I think. I'd like to offer an analogy to the proverb, "Give a man a fish, you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, you feed him for a lifetime."

*hums a few bars from the song, Moves Like Jagger.*

"And it goes like this": If you give a challenged writer a beta, he posts a good chapter for the day. If you teach said writer to improve his skills, he posts good chapters for his career. (all on his own!)

It would truly be to your benefit to improve your skills, so even if you need a beta right now, don't give up on learning.

I don't have any real advice concerning grammar and punctuation, except, get a textbook from an English writing course, and try to absorb what you can understand. I have to admit, they are kinda dry and complicated, though.

[Guest kitdkatwrites]

Raymy I completely agree with you an yet I do not remember one class going over this stuff. I switched from public to private school for 9th grade which was when the pub schools did what they considered the more advanced grammar and punctuation. The private school I went to had done all that stuff back in 7th grade so I just missed the bus. Starting in high school I began turning in papers a week early for my teachers to look over and make suggestions on. My punctuation always came back corrected but never with any explanations as to what I did wrong.

Le Sigh, I'll try to find a comprehensive online guide to follow. Thanks for the suggestions everyone.

[Cuzosu]

I did a Google search the other day, found this site: http://www.grammarbo...glish_rules.asp

Deals with punctuation and grammar, though the pop-ups can be annoying.

[pittwitch]

For fiction writing, I would recommend avoiding the fancy punctuation until you've got a handle on the basics: commas, periods, exclamation points, question marks and dialogue markers.

Happy writing.