Tomb Raider: Fat Man Chronicles, review and discussion thread.

[MorbidFantasy]

It is one thing to have her obliged due to blackmail, and made immobile, but chapter 38?

I don't have the words to express my revulsion.

Lol all of your hate has been anticipated. I humbly accept them, and ask that you give me the chance to finish revealing the full narrative before you pass final judgement.

Do notice that the chapter of was almost exclusively written from Hanson's pov. Just know that some of the narrative from this point forward will be deliberately unreliable. It's part of the plan I swear

[Guest Guest]

This (chapter 38) sickens me more than anything I've read in this story, or on this sight.

I'm not reading further. I'm too nausiated.

[Guest Guest]

Hi. When's the update?

[Guest opin]

At the end of chapter 38 you wrote that you’d come up with ‘an even better idea that somehow still ends up with Lara not remembering the dig, being carted off to see Vasily and eventually Mark.’

And that you’d post thoughts on this forum.

I’d like to know what were those thoughts about the new idea? And what the idea was.

[MorbidFantasy]

Irl stuff, personal stuff, random distractions.

I fell off the boat. I've gotten back on.

I am 80% certain "Hanson's Dig Pt 3" will redeem the crazy shenanigans of part 2. If not, well, keep sending the hate my way and I'll adjust accordingly.

Currently, I'm actually working on "Mark and Lara", and since we're deviating from strict chronological telling, only time can tell what gets posted first.

To the ones suggesting I've lost focus or direction, I'd like to think I'm going to prove you wrong, although I reserve my hubris for after I receive feedback for the upcoming updates. Until then, I remain optimistically humble.

I do feel that the recent introduction of the philosopher's stone was a little bit forced, and probably didn't feel like I had planned it very far in advanced. I'll try to fill in the blanks in future updates. I definitely have to work the full explanation that I put here in the forum into the actual story itself since readers shouldn't have to require external sources to explain in-story plot devices.

For any who can't wait for the finished chapters and want a skeletal plot spoiler to critique/beta/hate , shoot me an email at morbidfantasy12@gmail.com

Cheers

[Guest anon]

I was recommended reading this story by a friend and it is the best humiliation story I have read on this site.

The psychological impact of the scenes of rape and torture, humiliation and control are incredibly powerful to both the characters and the readers. I am very impressed that there is a story beneath all the horror in the philosophers stone and subplots with eversts schemes and characters like mark and kitty. I really like kitty by the way she comes across as sexual evil personified.

All sexual scenes are highly original and written with great energy within, the dialogue when dealing with humiliation are powerful and emotional. There is an almost psychotic attention to detail in scenes including machinery or punishment devices which I find very appealing.

I am very eager for more and hoping especially for more lara/kitty as there scenes together are particularly good.

[Guest guest]

Most stories on this site are straight sex scenes with no significant plot. This story has a very indepth plot and very interesting characters my favorite being kitty and would like to know more about her and see lots more interaction between her and lara. Hope this continues.

[MorbidFantasy]

Hanson's Dig Part 3 Finale is up.

Read that first before reading my comments below:

I really do have to apologize for this lateness. The chapter itself has been fully formed in my mind for a few months but I just couldn't or didn't bring myself to buckle down and type it out.

As for chapter 40, here are the mostly spoiler free ideas, all of which I have written text for.

Mark of course will have his go at Lara, who, depending on whether I gag her or not, will try, unsuccessfully, to convince him that she didn't wish for him to be harmed.

Chapter 39 really amps up the influence of the Philosopher's Stone, and truthfully before I had written 39, I had already written parts for 40, 41 and 42 without very much of the stone's power in play, so now I'm debating working more of the supernatural aspects into those chapters.

At this point, I think it's starting to become very clear how Lara may end up publicly unscathed at the end. Not a whole lot of mystery there anymore, but I hope you guys will enjoy the long journey there, hehe.

In case the long delays have made anyone forget the time, it is currently circa February, which means cold in Northern hemisphere. Lara's either headed to Tokyo next or to Russia next (I'm leaning towards Russia right now). There is of course a shard of the stone awaiting absorption there, but I'm still working on the sort of sexual scenarios she's going to encounter.

We'll see what happens.

Cheers

Edited January 20, 2016 by MorbidFantasy

[Guest Guest]

Liked it.

[modeac]

I'm very interested in what will happen between Lara and Mark. If you do decide to gag her, might i suggest a BDSM setting to cut off her other senses as well; earplugs to deafen her, noseplugs to remove her smell, blindfold or mask to cut off sight and only breathing through a ring gag or similar.

Also very interested in your allusions to ramping up the stones power- my first thought is that the stone transmogrifying people surrounding Lara as outlandish as that may sound.

Overall relieved to hear this unique story isn't dead.

[MorbidFantasy]

Chapter 40 is up

I'm very interested in what will happen between Lara and Mark. If you do decide to gag her, might i suggest a BDSM setting to cut off her other senses as well; earplugs to deafen her, noseplugs to remove her smell, blindfold or mask to cut off sight and only breathing through a ring gag or similar.

Also very interested in your allusions to ramping up the stones power- my first thought is that the stone transmogrifying people surrounding Lara as outlandish as that may sound.

Overall relieved to hear this unique story isn't dead.

I'm glad it isn't dead as well.

I thought i had some free time back in January, but it was an illusion, so only got one chapter up then. Chapter 40 started out being an issue with finding the right place to begin/end out of a large run-on chapter. I ended up cutting some sex positions but still ran overboard.

In case it isn't apparent, anytime the color blue is mentioned there's a little bit of mind control at work. It usually won't be at the levels of Hanson's Dig brainwashing, but it's enough for me to use to manipulate the mood.

I'm 99% happy with the chapter, but would like to know from you guys, for future reference, if you found the portrayal of Mark in the chapter to be something you'd like to see more of in other characters. By that I mean more emotionally charged (not always anger or lust), as well as Mark being the first male character since McGee (jesus that was a long time ago) to not be fully in the loop regarding Lara. Everest and Gordo were a little too all knowing as male antagonists which makes their characters flat (or fat) and boring, I feel this was part of the reason people started hating Gordo in any scene I put him in. To the critics of the aforementioned boring characters, I'm always open to ideas of unique male character traits that might prevent a retread of old ground.

Edited February 20, 2016 by MorbidFantasy

[MorbidFantasy]

Chapter 41 up!

Okay okay okay, I swear Lara leaves Peru in chapter 42.

Not sure if I placed the part about Kitty's showing Lara the footage of Mark's "interrogation" at the end was the best idea. I hope it didn't confuse anyone as to why Lara was so submissive during dinner. Maybe she (or I) did too good a job covering up her outrage and misery at the situation? Comments on this are appreciated. I tried not to make her choice too "heroic" but fundamentally, the Lara Croft in this story is a good person, something I've been trying to bring out starting with the whole "Importance of Memory" chapter. She only kills when she has to, and does not enjoy or look forward to it as the best option.

Between chapters 42 which will include the departure from Peru and chapter 43 which is when Lara meets her next "boss" and starts her mission there, I'm going to slot in a "Importance of Memory Pt 2" which will put into the story some of the Philosopher Stone's traits that I've covered in this forum but haven't detailed in the story.

As to 43, I have parts written for a Tokyo arrival as well as a Siberian arrival. Siberia's theme will be "cold survival" while Tokyo's theme will be "antiquities auction". I'm very much open to opinions on which one I should proceed with. This is significant because the one not picked will actually be reworked and pushed back, rather than just position swapped with the one immediately after Peru.

Oh, and the location after Tokyo/Siberia will be somewhere in the United States for sure, where Boss #3 awaits.

[Guest Guest]

Tremaine should have been killed right in front of her after she did the right thing.

The idea is that they, not her, are in charge. she has no control.

Make it slow, as she is juiced by the o. device, as if his death gets her off. He dies believing the worst of her.

After, they. say,"Your secret is safe with us... even from you."

[MorbidFantasy]

Tremaine should have been killed right in front of her after she did the right thing.

The idea is that they, not her, are in charge. she has no control.

Make it slow, as she is juiced by the o. device, as if his death gets her off. He dies believing the worst of her.

After, they. say,"Your secret is safe with us... even from you."

I actually wrote two alternate versions of the ending scene that played out virtually verbatem to your suggestion.

The reason I didn't was this:

They want to get Lara used to capitulating to demands that are unreasonable. Having her admitting to the falsehoods to Mark is the first step. If they kill him in front of her after all of this, what reason would she have to keep trusting them? In a weird way, Villain Inc's benefits more from getting Lara to trust them. In the future, they could slowly escalate their unreasonable demands as long as they tack on "rewards" such as letting Mark live, even if those rewards aren't actually rewards. They can keep their word regarding the small stuff while lying through their faces about anything they haven't explicitly promised Lara.

Edit: Just saying that's why they gave her a choice. Psychologically it will condition her to only think "within the box". It wasn't very obvious the way I wrote it, but the three choices they gave Lara somewhat parallels the demands she made to Xavier when she beat him up in the bath. It takes away Lara's initiative to negotiate, by giving her the terms right before she has to make that decision. She basically went right to dinner as soon as Kitty explained her options to her, with no time to think or maneuver.

From Lara's point of view, this also forces her to become more cautious in what she reveals about herself as well as any future negotiations. Both sides will try to create and exploit loopholes in conversations, but this dynamic can only be relevant if both sides keep their promises. Otherwise, there'd be no point to dialogue, or incentive for Lara to act out any fake roles given to her.

In reply to anon who was annoyed I haven't killed anyone of importance in a while, the way things are going, I think you'll get some satisfaction within the next five or six chapters. Whether Mark dies or doesn't die by the end of this fic is currently inconsequential, but I plan to give him another appearance before things are over.

Edited February 23, 2016 by MorbidFantasy

[MorbidFantasy]

Just wanted to add that I think it hurts Lara more to leave Mark alive in the interim, not just so he could think the worst of her but also for the uncontrollable element. Now Lara has to live in constant fear that Mark may very well lose his cool and end up blabbing back in London. Villains inc might even make her regret her decision by insinuating that there are indeed rumors spreading about Lara back home (there probably wont be, but she doesn't have to know that, lol)

It's all about the mind fucks.

Edited February 23, 2016 by MorbidFantasy

[MorbidFantasy]

New fic posted, titled "Lara Croft and the Philosopher's Stone".

Not to be confused with the Harry Potter fandom, of course.

The new fic is a reorganization of chapters formerly belonging to "Contractually Indentured", a piece I had mentioned in this forum but never made it work well enough to post on AFF.

The first chapter starts in media res, without immediately explaining or even introducing the Philosopher's Stone properly. The second chapter will be a little more on the nose about it.

I wrote the first chapter in a bit of a hurry, Frankensteining parts from an older draft where Lara was in a church being fucked by a bunch of Satanic priests, whereas in the revised and published version, the priests are a sect of Catholics tracing their heritage to other religious nuts who see the powers of the Stone as being indications of God, and seek to gather and hoard that power.

I mean no insult to Joan D'Arc by the writing her into this fic. She was one of my first admirations in terms of a heroic female character, and I've even thought of writing an original fic starring her prior to this. Choosing her as a peripheral character just became convenient and obvious as I started filling in the motives for a bunch of priests to assault a single girl in a church. Obviously I threw Henry Beaufort, Cardinal of Winchester, under the bus here by portraying him as a rapist, but hey, no one likes that fuck... right?

Oh, right, and I mean no disrespect to the actual Catholic faith. The priests in this fic are not true Christians. They're power hungry cultists following a misguided notion that a supernatural source of power is their path to God, or some form of it. I also hesitate to call them Satanists for the same reason, since they do believe they're worshiping God's power.

[Guest Guest]

Guess you haven't played "Rise Of The TR?" The sect is called TRINITY.

[MorbidFantasy]

Guess you haven't played "Rise Of The TR?" The sect is called TRINITY.

Yes, of course I've played RotTR. How could I not have?

The philosopher stone and the people pursuing it were formed in my drafts as early as 2012, around the time I posted the prison arc. At that point I had no idea about the plot of the new TR game.

The stone's powers are vastly different from the "Divine Source". It borrows heavily from the concept of the blue eitr seen in Tomb Raider Legend/Underworld. In future chapters I'll elaborate on those powers and how they're different from the "Divine Source"

I wanted to fit Lara's rebooted adventures on Yamatai into this fic, and implicitly, it still is, even if I haven't mentioned anything to the effect.

However, Rise of the Tomb Raider's plot wasn't anticipated by me at all, nor did I plan on having Trinity in FMC.

I guess I'm being picky and choosey here, but the bottom line is the organization Everest is part of and the Stone have nothing to do with the new game's plot devices, at least currently.

[Guest Guest]

A 'good person'? She shot dead six unarmed men without hesitation in chapter1. Then smiled.

[MorbidFantasy]

A 'good person'? She shot dead six unarmed men without hesitation in chapter1. Then smiled.

Ya got me there. I've been retconning Laras behavior over the recent updates.

Maybe she enjoyed killing the men because they were bad people,lol?

It's part of a larger overhaul including explaining why she was in the mansion in the first place, to steal the stone from Everest.

Edited February 23, 2016 by MorbidFantasy

[HunterOpera]

Really digging the psychology of the new chapters, especially with Mark and how the villains are weaving him into a trap for Lara's mind.

Well done.

[Guest Guest]

He lives...

[HunterOpera]

He lives...

Interestingly enough, my contract work had to do with necromancy. The NDA doesn't specify that I can't mention that much, so yay!

[Guest Guest]

BOOB WRITER = BITMAN717/PORN EATER?

[MorbidFantasy]

BOOB WRITER = BITMAN717/PORN EATER?

Not sure. The new fic is definitely promising. I was toying around with a Sword Art Online fic with the same brainwashing/rewriting premise. This fic reminds me of that as well as the one from a while ago, the one with some videogamer somehow taking control of Lara via the game controller after entering her world or something to that effect.