Tomb Raider: Fat Man Chronicles, review and discussion thread.

[Guest Guest]

I can't believe I have found TWO men I. loath more than Fat Fuck: Alistair and Zip.

I LOVE his descriptions (he is a porn god) BUT how can BOOBS WRITER say that those two 'aren't too mean'? THEY ROBBED HER BLIND!

The last chapter Zip tells her "you could make. back your lost family fortune."

These two violated her trust. Compared to them, EVERY asshole here is a saint.

[Guest Guest]

I hate this keypad. Random periods dropped all the time.

[MorbidFantasy]

I can't believe I have found TWO men I. loath more than Fat Fuck: Alistair and Zip.

I LOVE his descriptions (he is a porn god) BUT how can BOOBS WRITER say that those two 'aren't too mean'? THEY ROBBED HER BLIND!

The last chapter Zip tells her "you could make. back your lost family fortune."

These two violated her trust. Compared to them, EVERY asshole here is a saint.

Um, ok? Not sure how to process this lol.

I think Boobswriter and I are going about our fics very differently. Not just in subject matter but in execution of characterization.

He's going for an almost cartoonish portrayal, which given the video game backdrop isn't necessarily a bad thing, especially now that he's throwing in DOA crossovers. Dare I say it, his fic is almost irreverent in its portrayal of the source material, which might urk canon-whores like me but definitely has its place in fanfiction writing. After all, if we were all canon-whores, like me, then we wouldn't be getting so many lovely M/M fics between Chris Redfield and Wesker, hahahaha.

Maybe that's why people hated Fat Fuck so much. I tried to take my fic in a more somber and "realistic" direction Ala batman dark knight rises, but as soon as I went that route, I exposed Gordo to a different level of scrutiny than would have mattered if I had kept things video-gamey. The more serious or gritty I went, the more boring "Fat Bastard" became, because he was at his core always a one note character, even after I gave him uber-tech-savvy with sex gadgetry.

Ok end thoughts. I'll try to get actual writing done on FMC and my new Naruto fic, lol.

[Guest Guest]

Just venting; sorry to disturb your focus.

Like Lara and the Philosopher's Stone... I just had to get it out.

I shall depart.

[Guest Guest]

AHEM!! DUDE! MORE! NOW!!!

​Brought to you by: The Church of Perpetual Subtlty

[modeac]

I was reading through the older posts on this forum and I noticed something;

Whatever happened to the idea for “Contractually Indentured”- it was stated as serving as a repository for chapters that you felt fits into the FMC story universe but doesn’t fit into the main narrative. Eventually include extra sex scenes the author wrote that are only referred to in one or two sentences in the main piece. These stories may or may not occur at the same time as the main FMC story, and may even represent things that happen in the future.

You even gave spoilers for CI Chapter 1: Looking at three specific scenarios in the contract Lara signed that she must always be part of;

1/ Days working only as a sexual object: How much sex is required, and in what way does the contract's wording affect how Lara conducts her sexual services.

2/ Days working as an archaeologist/consultant: How Lara balances sex with real work, when can she work, and how much autonomy does she have regarding choosing work over sex.

3/ Days off: When can Lara have a little time to herself and how can she earn these free time.

You went on to state that in all three scenarios, the contract has been worded in a way that can be liberally "reinterpreted" by Lara's handlers in order to maximize their use of Lara against her will. It's also geared to give minuscule rewards for Lara's humiliating cooperation while levying heavy penalties for her using the contract's own words to her benefit (e.g. asking for time off, bargaining for various changes/rights, etc).

Your later claim that the first chapter would have been largely “kinky legal text and not too much plot” doesn’t bother me, in fact it only made me more interested since it makes the story more unique as most stories on this site are just sex scenes with minimal plot surrounding them.

I really hope this idea comes to fruition as it sounds fascinating and unique.

​

[MorbidFantasy]

I was reading through the older posts on this forum and I noticed something;

Whatever happened to the idea for “Contractually Indentured”- it was stated as serving as a repository for chapters that you felt fits into the FMC story universe but doesn’t fit into the main narrative. Eventually include extra sex scenes the author wrote that are only referred to in one or two sentences in the main piece. These stories may or may not occur at the same time as the main FMC story, and may even represent things that happen in the future.

You even gave spoilers for CI Chapter 1: Looking at three specific scenarios in the contract Lara signed that she must always be part of;

1/ Days working only as a sexual object: How much sex is required, and in what way does the contract's wording affect how Lara conducts her sexual services.

2/ Days working as an archaeologist/consultant: How Lara balances sex with real work, when can she work, and how much autonomy does she have regarding choosing work over sex.

3/ Days off: When can Lara have a little time to herself and how can she earn these free time.

You went on to state that in all three scenarios, the contract has been worded in a way that can be liberally "reinterpreted" by Lara's handlers in order to maximize their use of Lara against her will. It's also geared to give minuscule rewards for Lara's humiliating cooperation while levying heavy penalties for her using the contract's own words to her benefit (e.g. asking for time off, bargaining for various changes/rights, etc).

Your later claim that the first chapter would have been largely “kinky legal text and not too much plot” doesn’t bother me, in fact it only made me more interested since it makes the story more unique as most stories on this site are just sex scenes with minimal plot surrounding them.

I really hope this idea comes to fruition as it sounds fascinating and unique.

​

Big Announcement regarding FMC that will also answer this inquiry.

The first and foremost is that I've literally finalized every last major plot point in the fic, having multi paragraph summaries for every future chapter in this fic, including placement of sex scenes, participants, and reason for each scene. The fic is, in my mind, done. All that is left is to expand the paragraph summaries into actual chapters.

Many smutt ideas that I've floated around over the years of writing this fic, including the previously proposed "Contractually Indentured" will end up being posted as side story material in either the Philosopher's Stone fic or in a "FMC Side Stories" fic. Basically, there will be some sex in FMC that are glossed over with a single sentence hinting at their occurring, but since the scenes don't offer immediate information pertinent to story progression I've trimmed them from the main story and would fit them into the supplemental fics.

For those who doubt whether I am telling the truth regarding having fully planned this out, well, here are the basic set up for the last few arcs in FMC, as well as teasers for characters. The more detailed plot summaries I won't post here but will provide to anyone in exchange for their honest critique once they've read it. Email me and morbidfantasy12@gmail.com if you want google doc links to any of the following arcs

1. The Arab Prince (6 chapters planned):

Setting: Tropical beach side resort owned by Trellick

Characters:

Trellick, the adopted son of a Saudi Arabian Governor (in reality his bastard son)

Damian, a white South African human trafficker working for Trellick

Adil (English name Edison), half brother of Trellick, stands to inherit the governorship from his father

Ablah (English name Belladette), Adil's sister, 17 years of age.

Samir, brother to the Governor, uncle to Trellick and his half siblings.

The Nubians, a trio of male slaves commanded by Damian

Kitty, and one of her "sisters"

2. A Siberian Wasteland (6 chapters planned)

Setting: Frozen Tundra, multiplex prison camp owned by Serkov

Characters:

Serkov, industrialist billionaire who dabbles in human trafficking/slavery

Vladim, Serkov's right hand man

Vasily, Serkov's former employee turned prisoner, sex performer

Serkov's son, a frat boy, features in a written side story but not as part of main plot

3. The Gentlemen's Club (6 chapters planned)

Setting: formal event, night club, yakuza properties

Characters:

Shogo Takamoto, survivor of TRL, still a rising force within the Yakuza

Tanaka, his right hand man

Collins, introduced during an early FMC chapter, is a politically connected Brit in Japan

The Yakuza: refers to a group of underbosses serving the Oyabun

The Oyabun: the godfather of a major branch of the Yakuza

4. Detour in Europe and Saudi Arabia (2 Europe+3 Saudi chapters planned)

New characters: Harrison (will be introduced via a side story)

Returning Characters: all the Saudi governor's family (Samir, Adir, Ablah, Trellick, Damian, etc), Everest (making an appearance towards the end)

5. The Heat of the Desert (6 chapters planned)

Setting: Las Vegas

Characters:

Dr. Mark Willard, survivor of TR3, owner of the meteorite fragments

Royce, his right hand man

Everest

Gordo

6. The finale (chapter count and character inclusion confidential)

At this point some characters may no longer be involved, due to death or other factors, thus the inclusion or exclusion of characters in this final arc may in fact be too revealing.

At this point, I'm about 3000 words into The Arabic Prince, with about 1500 word summaries for the other arcs.

My next post will talk about some less organized thoughts I have regarding finishing FMC.

Edited August 11, 2016 by MorbidFantasy

[MorbidFantasy]

Here are some spoilers regarding characters in "The Arabic Prince"

Trellick is trying to unseat Adil as the successor to their father's governorship. He is allied with his uncle Samir in this regard. Trellick owns the palace like resort in which Lara is spending her time.

Adil will not only be a potential sexual partner to Lara, but will also be an ally. However, I do not intend for him to white knight Lara's way out of her current predicament. Instead, he will have his own goals, having been pulled into Lara's world by his half brother Trellick. By some standards, Adil can be considered man that believes in justice and morality, and is considered a social progressive in the Saudi world. That being said, he's not above using underhanded tactics to achieve his goals.

The intention is that Lara will have a very mixed bag of interactions with Adil, to avoid too many stereotypical white knight plot points.

Ablah, unlike typical girls in the Islamic world, has had the privilege of a Western education and relative freedom to do as she pleases, due in part to her brother's efforts. She will have some very intimate interactions with Lara, some of which might even be consensual.

Samir is the disgraced brother of Trellick, Adil and Ablah's father. Unable to ever stand office because he offended the wrong people, he nonetheless commands a degree of power and wealth, and has settled for supporting Trellick in his power bid against his other nephew Adil.

Unsurprisingly, the Nubians are the nicknames for a trio of large African men with equally large black dicks. Yes, I'm not above stereotypes in service of a good sex scene.

Edited August 11, 2016 by MorbidFantasy

[MorbidFantasy]

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1zxT_5f4dpWLJ84hHATl4G57ShSH_JzjUi9KnyeER_tg/edit?usp=sharing

This is the current draft for Chapter 1 of "The Arab Prince". Comments are welcome.

4000 words is a little lengthy but there aren't many places to trim at this point.

I'm working on its companion chapter and both will be posted at the same time.

Chapter's 3 and 4 have also had work done on them but right now I'm finalizing 2.

[Guest Guest]

You need to resolve XAVIAR

[Guest Guest]

Everest kills this guy eh? or worse... has her do it?

COLD.

[Guest Guest]

yeah. The cyclopsed mini-fucker. Dead, blue-brained? WTF!!?ANSWERS FOR FUCK SAKE!

[Guest Guest]

... also: ANIKA? Who the hell is that? and WHAT did she do to Lara? ANSWERS.

[MorbidFantasy]

Quick reply to the comments received.

Xavier has a minor appearance in an later arc and yes there will be resolution.

It wouldn't be past Everest to do such a thing, killing or making Lara kill someone. To say more would be spoiling it

As with Xavier, me not mentioning Hanson or including them at the moment does not mean I'm ignoring them. It just means their characters haven't exhausted all of their appearances.

Anika was is the second girl with kitty. She was attending to mark Tremaine in the bath. Small appearance, but her role will increase. In fact you'll see plenty of her in chapter 2 of Arab prince.

[MorbidFantasy]

Other than that, how was the chapter? Your comments will directly impact some of the details in the follow up chapters.

No need for sycophancy. If you liked it no need to post. If you hated it, tell me why and where you'd like it changed.

[Guest Guest]

Everest hands Lara Gordo to kill: tying up loose ends. (catches it on tape?) BUT Gordo hands her all he has on Everest in exchange for a quick death.

[Guest Guest]

... OR NOT!

[modeac]

In the chapter ‘Nightmares at home’ you had a part of Lara’s home (beneath it) turned into a sex dungeon and presumably a domicile for Kitty’s ‘sisters’- I assume this place was the Croft Family crypt seen in Tomb Raider Underworld (please tell me if I am wrong)?

I’m surprised you didn’t do more with it- like ripping out the graves of Lara’s ancestors and replacing them with fetishized coffins that Lara was put into or other family heirlooms having sex equipment mounted onto them or being supplanted by them.

You actually didn’t say much about the sex dungeon beneath Lara’s home. What were you thinking when you thought of it;

Like how big is it.

What features does it have.

How many people can fit in and how do people get in and out of it?

Are there any other modifications to Croft manor? Like hidden cameras or passageways?

Another question I’ve been wondering about is whether Samantha Nishimura is going to show up in this; I’m sure you could think of perverseness for her.

Hope things are working out for the author both personally and professionally and that we see another chapter of Fanfiction soon!

[Guest guest]

Really weird thing to ask but it was bugging me when I reread an old chapter- lara is an employee of Everest incorporated right? So is she getting paid? Is it an insultingly low amount of cash or does she get paid in relation to ‘her performances’ like if she gets raped twice as much as the previous month does she get twice as much money and does she know this? 

[s-incubus]

I know how lewd and uncivilized this sounds, but: “Come on mate! New chapter!”

Sorry for doing it. (no I’m actually not)

[Guest hungry reader]

any new chap soon?it`s been over a year...

[MorbidFantasy]

I’m back.

Been writing sporadically. There’s quite a bit of text in the graveyard right now. The problem of updating this fic over several years is the inevitable continuity issues that crop up. Some of them are easily soft ret-conned, but others directly impact the final arcs of what I had imagined.
 

The Arab Prince arc will still be up next, but there will be a fair bit of tweaking to it.

[Guest Just a foreigner]

so nice to see you back and knowing that you keep on writing FMC

how Lara going to get out of this hell(heaven?) like situation is so suspense that keep draw me back

[MorbidFantasy]

I apologize for coming off as disingenuous back in December when I said “I’m back”.

When I said that, I really did have a draft that was 80% finished.

Needless to say, that particular draft never resolved itself, so this is me saying “I’m back” officially.

Chapter 42: Last Week In Peru is up, spoilerish comments to follow

Spoiler

A while ago I posted a draft for the “Arab Prince” arc that was to follow Lara’s next journey after Peru. That arc has since been revised a few times. One of the reasons for several scrapped drafts for the Peru Finale was connectivity issues with the Arab arc as well as the Siberian/Tokyo arcs that were to follow.

I won’t promise that I’m on a roll now, but with any luck I’ll be able to hammer out the remaining plot problems with the entire Arab arc and get 4-5 chapters out as soon as possible. My chief problems right now is remembering which drafts I had wanted to keep, and which plot details needed to be included or possibly retconned for continuity.

Although this chapter did not include anything regarding the philosopher’s stone or the blue energy from Hanson and Mark arcs, there’s a subtle implication that the chapter’s progression was not entirely a product of human planning. Certainly towards the end when it seems like I was just doubling down on the “cum dumpster” concept,  there’s a somewhat legit reason why I ended things the way it did, with Lara having a 5 gallon dispenser of cum to look forward to. How much of that she ultimately drinks I leave up to the reader’s imagination.

The jump from [Time to departure: Day 2]  to [Time to departure: Day 0] was not a typo. It was a narrative acceleration of the passage of time (for the readers, not for Lara, poor girl)

In addition to the normal feedback, I’m open to suggestions or predictions (the two aren’t mutually exclusive) regarding what happens next. At least three times in the writing of FMC, I’ve went back to the drawing board after discussions with a reviewer or after having read the works of some of my favorite authors on AFF. Smut writing really is about finding the balance between what turns me and the readers on and how far I can twist things before the logic fails.

Looking forward to any input. I get that its’ been ages since the last update, but I still get the occasional email asking if I’m alive or writing, so here’s me shouting out to the support.

From Extraction on June 26, 2018
ok this is trash

Welp, that took no time at all lol.

Edited June 27, 2018 by MorbidFantasy

[MorbidFantasy]

Chaper 43: Assignment Two: Maritime Interlude is up

And oh my word the number of typos and editing snafus that I found immediately after posting. I think I’ve cleaned most of it up.

Listening to a text to speech rendition of the chapter was very helpful with the typos.

Spoiler

There’s a little bit of meta shifting of blame here, as I’m basically blaming Xavier for my decision to write an over the top cum dump chapter. This chapter was meant to contextualize Chapter 42, and I hope you guys could follow along with my pacing.

Chapters 44-46 should be the Arab Prince arc. Fingers crossed while I make some hot coffee.

I know I had introduced a new character called Anika in an old Arab Prince draft that I’m no longer sharing in this thread.

In that draft, it was Anika that was supposed to star in chapter 42 as the one who breaks Lara down. Needless to say, Chapter 42 ended up being very Xavier-centric instead.

Anika is still in the story, but I’ve decided to put her in the background for now for narrative brevity. Hopefully her character will get some better scenes in the future.

Edited June 28, 2018 by MorbidFantasy