A Temple to Knorg


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Screw the Eleusinian Mysteries. Enter the Mystery Forum and find the legendary Temple to Knorg. The God of the Under Bridges and of Chocolate Sprinkles. Also Fertility. Lots of fertility. I have a great Droit de seigneur ceremony!

So. Worship.

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Knorg, you have made me laugh this morning when all I want to do is unleash myself from my restraints and attack!

Thanks for the laugh.

Beth

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  • 3 weeks later...
  • 2 weeks later...

Topic Title Want to be a Messiah?

Topic Description Post here!

Do you want to be a Messiah? If you do, post answers to the following questions here!

Why you want to?

What you're willing to do as a messash (give specific reference to dying for sins)

Why you think you're qualified?

What low women and tax collectors you'd like to walk amongst?

Why you think you should be indellably associated with the Disknorgian religion?

Would you be happy with people twisting your message of free love and peace into "Kill every fucker we don't like and take their land?"

Does Dan Brown make you want to stick his head in a vice and tighten it until you have something that resembles a Gallagher comic turn?

Do you like to gamble and drink and screw and get shitfaced?

Plus describe any other qualities you feel you would bring to the role.

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Oh, you so wish! I am so weird I was kicked out of Czechoslovakia for talking too loudly. And that isn't even a country any more. I once met the Queen of Faerieland in a pub in Hockney, and when I went to the toilet six years passed. Which was still quicker than the queue for the ladies. I have performed twelve tasks to shade even Heracles' efforts, each deadlier than the last. I know the secret name of Life's Shadow. I also once once went into a Wardrobe and discovered a magical world of wearing women's silky lingerie. Mmm, smooth on my hairyness.

Also, I voted Lib Dem in the last election, when Charlie Kennedy seemed the only man for Britain.

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Michael Jackson isn't weird. He just has an appalling PR team and breath smelling of Bubbles' dick.

"Okay, Michael, to promote the next album fondle a ten year old. It's all the rage in Middle America. Everyone loves Bart Simpson, so you can LOVE him."

"But..."

"DO IT!"

"Okay."

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