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Posted

I ruined George Bush Jr's record deal with Sony.

Posted

I killed off the Dinosaurs.

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I can blow stuff up with my mind!

Thats no fair, I really can blow stuff up with my mind. I've also levitated and one time Bloody Mary came when we called her!

Did I tell you that my grandfather designed the Hindenburg??? No, really. I'm also a direct descendant of the dinosaurs. You guys killed off my people!!!

Once, I drank an entire gallon of Smirnoff Black Cherry vodka and I didn't feel a thing!

Posted

That's nothing on Night's with New Moon, I can reach up from my armchair, pluck the moon from the sky, spit on it, rub it on my shirt and put it back in the sky, fuller than you have ever seen it.

Posted

I ate glass and spat it out to make all the deserts on this planet.

Posted

I created the TV sets.

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