Boys Ruin School for Girls...

[madlodger]

brown-nosing

ass kissing skills

Precisely. Couple of years ago one of my coworkers found a gift wrapped package under the company X-Mas tree with his name on it. There were golden knee pads in there. He still can't live that one down.

Edit: And now I think that my co-ed school failed to give me valuable social skills, hehe

[Sir Psycho Sexy]

Foe, your satire is BRILLIANT. I never laughed so hard in my life.

Besides, what are the implications that women need to be "protected" from men? That's almost as bad as saying men are testosterone-fueled monsters.

I was actually surprised. The article was apparently written by a guy. At least, I can't come up with a girl's name that shortens down to Tim.

Seriously though, what the flying fuck in a monkey's hot pants?

We managed to go from boy's can be disruptive to boys being testosterone fueled monsters? Eh? I think someone might have been a wee bit bullied in school there! I'm a guy, and as far as I can remember, all of six years ago, I know its a long time, but fortunately not that long, the only effect testosterone had on me in school was to pop the occasional hard on when a pretty girl walked by. Admittedly, I was fairly distracted, what with my naughty thoughts and all, but I doubt it had much effect on the rest of the class. Well, save for that one time I started to lose focus mid-answer...

So guys are disruptive huh? Ok, blatant sexism time! Girls, you are here by warned, I'm going to piss you off! I have come up with the solution! We shall simply...get rid of female teachers! Its obvious to me that the real source of the problem is that teachers cant control their students. Why? Because females are inherently weak willed, are no match for a stronger male, and should simply stay at home and cook! Pah, what do they know about discipline? Sissies! Wishy-washy namby pambies! (Pambys? How is that spelled anyway?) It takes a man to discipline a boy, only way to make it stick. I saw plenty of disrespect for the ladies in their tight skirts and transperent blouses (where do you think the testosterone surges come from, anyway?) but the one time I saw another boy try to disrespect a male teacher he was choked for it! And that brings me to my next point!

Echtrae, where are you? Bah, why single you out? I've let the ladies have it, now its time for you pussy liberals as well. Yes, I'm looking at all of you! Spare the rod, spoil the child as they say. What's with all of this community building nonsense? Self esteem needs to be earned, not handed over on a silver platter! Let the weak fall, so that the strong, or those smart enough to avoid the strong, make their way to the front. All men might have been created equal (and I doubt that) but we sure as all get out don't end up that way! Stop with the equality bull shit, and try teaching those who want to learn.

Who else? Ah yes, feminists! Those homewreckers! Dykes, the lot of them! So insistent that men don't need to be a part of raising their own children, and where does it get us? Boys have no one to teach them how to handle themselves, and then the feminists have the gall to blame boys for being boys. (I'd say they have the balls, but that just isn't true.) I know how to fix this. From now on, all daughters shall be raised solely by men! Granted, they might get pregnant a little earlier, depending on how good looking they are, but who cares? At least they'll have a working education! They'd be able to do everything from being able to throw up a drywall to changing their own oil and tires!

Guess who else is responsible? You got it! Its those bloody atheists! There are many studies that have shown that Jesuit run schools make for the best students. But those godless atheists are so afraid that their children might be contaminated. Come on, its not like religion is like homosexuality or something! You don't just catch it, it has to be forced down your throat first. We already have In Ggod We Trust on our money, and its One Nation Under God, so why not let the Jesuits run the public school system? Then we'd really see some results!

But just to make sure you don't think I'm some racist*, sexist, bigoted homophobe, I will take my final parting shot at the conservatives. How dare they! We give them the Bush Administration for two consecutive terms and the best they can come up with is No Child Left Behind? What bull shit is this? Why didn't they just round up and shoot all the democrats like they promised? They've squandered the power we gave them, they wasted their oppurtunities while we quietly ignored their scandalous behavior. All that scheming, wasted! Bah! It's enough to make a man vote for Mickey Mouse!

* Actually, I never did manage to pin it on the blacks, did I? Eh, probably would have been easier to blame it on illegal latino immigrants instead anyway.

** If anyone took that seriously, I apologize. I could make some pithy comment about sarcasm and lacks of intelligence, but I fear it would be wasted...