First Times at Bayville High

[Daye]

Hey DS.

I hope my review didn't come off as me not liking the chapter. I was feeling terrible because bad things happened to Danni. Because i related to the character and you wrote the situation very well to evoke that response. Wasn't trying to say the chapter was terrible.

I totally get were you're coming from. one chapter of my fic involved a non-con scene and one with very dubious consent and writing a fic that dark was seriously difficult to do. I've pretty much avoided attempting any darkfic since then.

As to Iceman, MM616 mentioned he thought he was too much of an asshole but like i said I don't think that's the case. Iceman in the show was always a bit reckless and impulsive, doing things on a whim like in joyride or when he stowed away in that episode with the giant metal spider where they had the original five x-men teaming up. (the original five in the comics ,cyke,jean,iceman,angel and beast, not the 1st 5 in evo obviously) So its sort of the thing he would do. He obviously didn't realise she was unwilling so he's not malicious.

I wouldn't really change anything about the chapter if you're going to follow through with the storyline. The response of the girls is going to be... interesting to say the least. I wonder if bobby's going to wake up surrounded by boom-boom's bombs.

[DrunkenScotsman]

Thanks for the clarification, man; I appreciate it. It's really good to hear A) that it had such a strong effect, and the effect I was going for; and B) that someone else in this segment of the site has a hard time w/ the darker stuff.

[DrunkenScotsman]

Announcement: FTaBH is on hiatus until further notice. Sorry, everyone.

[Daye]

Sorry to here that man. I hope you're OK.

[DrunkenScotsman]

Just swamped with school is all, classes taken and classes teaching. I appreciate the concern.

[Aysha c.c.]

Just thought I'd drop in and emphasize that I really would like to see something done with X-23, and considering how she was created. It really would be cool if she were named Eve.

You may or may not know that I am currently writing my own storyline Transformers Prime the Truth Revealed, so I really don't have time to do it myself. If you can manage it. It would be appreciated.

[DrunkenScotsman]

I don't have any plans to include X-23 in this story, for several reasons. Time's the biggest one - my schedule for the next few months is pretty hectic, and I'll be doing well to put up more than one more chapter before May. Second, I dislike Wolverine, and she's his clone; "blech" doesn't begin to describe my feelings about that. Third, to include X-23, I'd have to work her in from the beginning, and that would require a major revision of all the preceding chapters (see the first reason). Fourth, it'd be a lot more work to integrate her into the group dynamic, since she only made 2 appearances, and even then she had little to no interaction with the other girls. Certainly not as anything other than a threat. Honestly, I feel like I'm having enough problems working out the group dynamic with wild-child Tabby, former villainess Wanda, and pure-background-fluff Jubilee and Rahne into the mix... or at least maintaining a positive enough atmosphere at the party where they're all willing to tell their stories.

That last also puts a bit of a kibosh on the story turning into an orgy, though the idea made me chuckle. The way I planned these girls, only a couple of them would even be open to the idea anyways. I'm not sure I'm ready to write an all-girl orgy like that; even if I were, that story isn't this one.

I'm glad to get your feedback and ideas. I hope you'll read my other stories on here (you can find them on my profile) and, more importantly, enjoy them.

[DrunkenScotsman]

So I had this epiphany while writing this latest chapter (13):

The three girls in X-Men: Evolution who are at different points part of the Brotherhood, what's the thing they have in common? They all have parental figures who try to control them for their own ends - Mystique deceives Rogue at various points, Tabby's dad wants her to use her powers to help him steal, and Wanda is used by Mystique as a weapon against Magneto, who in turn rewrites her memories so she won't get in his way anymore. All three of them are just pawns in their parents' games.

This occurred to me in the middle of the chapter. I stopped writing and cried, "Whoa! Mind = blown!"

[Daye]

hahahaha. That's a good point. i'd never thought of it.

for some reason I actually forgot Wanda had been a part of the brotherhood aside from the flashforward sections in the finale. Probably due to the fact I read her as an x-man in evo fanfiction may times before I actually saw her episodes and the third and fourth seasons of Evolution on Youtube. (on the official marvel channel i hasten to add)

[Aysha c.c.]

First of all let me say that I love the way you write the girls accents especially rhain's

Second don't listen to anyone telling you that jeans story or anybody else's is too complicated. Life is complicated , and you are literally inventing part of their life stories so as far as I'm concerned, the more complicated the better, and you do it well.

Most people don't realize that being a good writer is like being the ultimate actor. Actors when they receive a script,. The best ones are able to set aside their own personalities and adopt the personality of the character they are going to play., so they don't ask what would I do if I were in the characters situation. They accept themselves as the character and simply react as they should.

Writers have to do the same thing only with every character they write so really you can't be a good writer unless you suffer from multiple personality disorder LOL. how many characters are you writing about?

Seriously though, I think you're a really good writer and I look forward to reading the rest of the story. and maybe one of these days you'll check out my stories and tell me what you think of them.

Aysha

[DrunkenScotsman]

Thanks, Aysha. I really appreciate the support. I'm still debating how to do Rogue's chapter, when I get there.

I totally agree about the acting-writing connection, as does my wife (who has a theatre degree ).

[Aysha c.c.]

Hi DrunkenScotsman, Chapter 15 was awesome. You hinted in past chapters at Wanda's sexuality and I'm glad to see it come to fruition. I am eagerly looking forward to chapter 16.

Oh, and I do think that this was your best intermission chapter for all the reasons you mentioned.

Is it Mystique/Wristy? because that would be cool, especially if Wanda didn't know Wristy was mystique and rogue tells her after her story.

PS If you have the time and you want to check out my story click this link here Transformers Prime The Truth Revealed

, of course, you don't have to I'm still going to read your awesome story If you don't, so don't worry about it, but if you do, be warned that the first and the third chapters are both over 20,000 words and chapter 2 is about 5500. as for the story, warnings I think it would be easier to tell you that the things that aren't likely to appear in the story is scat (definitely not!) bondage , M/M, , or rape. However, I am dealing with the decepticons here so no promises on that one

Edited June 10, 2013 by Aysha c.c.

[DrunkenScotsman]

Thanks, Aysha. I tried to give some subtle clues throughout the story that Wanda was gay, so it wouldn't come totally out of left field when she made the reveal. I'm glad you picked up on them! As for your guess, you'll just have to wait and see.

Review replies:

MarvelFan98: Thanks for the review and your continued support. It's much appreciated.

Daye - Rogue will definitely be getting a story. I'd initially had her higher up in the batting order, but decided after Kitty's chapter to push Rogue back till last.

Regarding "smeghead": I did a little digging, and you're right about the term coming from Red Dwarf, which I didn't know. I'd heard it was tied to smegma from whoever introduced me to the term a long time ago; and it seems like a logical thing to make into an insult. I guess Rahne will just have to have also heard incorrectly where it came from and what it means - a fictional-Aberdeen urban legend, I guess.

MM616 - You make a hilarious point, that Evo Wanda being gay is less weird than her sexual preferences in mainstream and Ultimate continuities. Her dialogue in the chapter was even intended to take a subtle jab at Ultimate Wanda's penchant for incest. After all, while she rated her brother as less repulsive than Toad, she also rated him as more repulsive than BLOB.

Regarding Kitty, the gist of where I was going w/ her dialogue in the chapter was that she still holds a candle for Lance and for Kurt, even if both those ships sailed. She's happy where she is, but a small part of her heart will always belong to those two. Do you think I should revise the chapter a bit to clarify that point?

Edited June 12, 2013 by DrunkenScotsman

[Aysha c.c.]

Regarding Kitty, the gist of where I was going w/ her dialogue in the chapter was that she still holds a candle for Lance and for Kurt, even if both those ships sailed. She's happy where she is, but a small part of her heart will always belong to those two. Do you think I should revise the chapter a bit to clarify that point?

I don't think you should revise the chapter. What you did was only natural. I don't think anyone can stop loving the person they fall in love with. Even if the person that you love becomes someone you can't love you still love the person they were.

I think that's how it is with kitty and Lance. As for the fuzzy elf, someone got to him before she realized she could lose him. That makes it harder for her because she can still love the person he is.

I think you did a good job of making it clear in the story, and that she is happy with the man she has.

Edited June 24, 2013 by Aysha c.c.

[DrunkenScotsman]

Okay, so I've been working on Wanda's chapter for a few weeks now. It's about a third of the way finished (I guess). I'd hoped to keep at it to finish this week and give y'all a "bonus update" this summer.

However, FTaBH was starting to feel too much like a chore, and I got bitten by the writing bug of another fandom. So the "bonus update" came in the form of a short story in a whole other domain of this site.

I feel like I cheated on you guys! (bawls)

More seriously, I do apologize for the whims of my muse. If any of you are fans of Rosario+Vampire, I encourage you to check out the story I posted.

[Aysha c.c.]

No you should't feel that way. I myself am having the same trouble with my story. Sometimes when its more work than fun you have to stop and do something else.

Whether or not you enjoyed writing the story will be reflected in your final product, so I would rather you take your time, than to post something you had to struggle to slap together.

So ill be waiting as long as it takes.

[DrunkenScotsman]

Thanks for the support, and for your review. I'm glad you enjoyed it! I also hope you can find the fun of your story again.

- Brief aside about the Rosario story: I disagree with what you said, but I usually prefer consistency - past or present, just don't switch w/o a good reason. I did have a lot of trouble as I was writing to NOT write it in past tense; we see so much other narrative prose written that way that past seems "natural" to us.

[Aysha c.c.]

So I must know, did I simply guess right or did I make a suggestion to good to pass up?

P.S. I hope my guess wasn't the source of your troubles with this chapter. I know how unnerving it can be to have someone guess so precisely what you are thinking. Believe it or not its your choice, but actual telepathy is a trait of my family. Don't get me wrong, we aren't on the level of Gean or Prof. X, not by a long shot, But we can pick up on single words and some times short fraises. They are like whispers in the back of your mind and are easy to overlook if your not paying attention.

When it comes to something as complex as who Wanda slept with someone would have to be focusing very intently on it and would have to want us to see it. Though usually that only happens within the family. (not kidding)

Or it could just be that you and I have similarly twisted fantasies But please let me know which it was.

[DrunkenScotsman]

Well, I was hoping to reply to all the regulars at once, but Daye's usual review is conspicuously absent. Here's hoping that he's just busy on vacation or something.

As I confirmed for Aysha in a PM, yeah, that's Risty. I was gonna have her make the reveal at the end of the story, to set up for the reactions in the next chapter. But, it occurred to me, why would Wanda withhold that information for the entire story, referring to her one-afternoon stand as "the other girl," " the punk girl," etc.? So I decided, at the last moment, that Wanda never got the other girl's name; there's a particular sex-comic out there that uses such a "mystery girl" as the basis of its entire premise. In my own mind, Risty's anonymity (to Wanda anyway) also makes the chapter a bit of a send-up of PWP stories, esp. of the "deliveryman" variety.

Some of Risty's specific word choices aren't even British slang, but rather the idiosyncratic way of putting things used by the main character of the series, The Confessions of Georgia Nicholson. I've not read the series myself (as it was aimed at tween/teen girls and published while I was in college/at university), but my wife did and gave me some guidance on the character's usage. The rationale for using that character's idioms will be explored a bit in the next chapter, since I figure someone at the party (Kitty, probably; or maybe Rahne) will have read the series.

Tigro: I really appreciate what you said in your review. That's exactly what I was aiming to accomplish.

MM616: To answer your question, I have only a little bit more still to write for this story: one more interlude chapter, Rogue's chapter (yes, she's getting a chapter), a reaction-to-Rogue's-story chapter (it'd be an interlude if she wasn't the last girl to go). There will be an epilogue of some kind, touching on what happens to each of the girls as a result of their slumber party; I don't know if it'll be tacked onto the reaction-to-Rogue's-story chapter, or a chapter in its own right.

RogueBHS: Welcome to the party! Thanks for your support and your review. You'll just have to wait and see what happens with Rogue. 0:) I hope it won't disappoint!

[Daye]

Well, I was hoping to reply to all the regulars at once, but Daye's usual review is conspicuously absent. Here's hoping that he's just busy on vacation or something.

Whoops. Yeah, I have been away on holiday for a week and not really reading stuff. My bad.

[DrunkenScotsman]

Nothing to apologize for. You're usually review so quickly; the break from the pattern just caused me to wonder. You enjoy your holiday, and read whenever you get back!

[DrunkenScotsman]

Just got your review, Daye. Thanks for the feedback! Just out of curiosity, though: is it Wanda in general you don't really care for, or this iteration of her specifically?

[Daye]

I've only seen Wanda in Evo and in the Ultimate comics. Despite the big plotline with her in Evo I think I actually forgot she was actually in it at one point.

[DrunkenScotsman]

I remember you saying something like that in a previous post. I've not read any of Ultimate Marvel, but Ultimate!Wanda is pretty notorious for basically one thing...

Evo!Wanda has it pretty rough. Mental institution, daddy issues, total hard drive wipe and reformat... girl can't catch a break, much like her mainstream-universe counterpart. It's probably to make up for the fact that her power is basically an "I win" button, especially in Evo.

[Daye]

Yeah Ultimate Wanda does pretty much nothing that I recall. 'Cept get pissy when Thor zaps Quicksliver....

And yeah, Evo!wanda has sucky luck/life. I'm not sure being able to fight all the x-men to a standstill really makes for having Toad as your love interest. So hurray for Risty! Sort of. The scenario does have its under lying squicky component with it being Mystique shagging her under false pretenses. That's can't be good for Wanda's self esteem.