If I Were...

[dazzledfirestar]

I'd be waiting patiently to be filled ( wow, that came out far dirtier than I meant it to.)

If I were a moving van...

[teeta]

I'd be filled with furniture, I guess. Most probably dirty furniture.

If I were a frying pan ...

[dazzledfirestar]

I'd be essential in making breakfast.

If I were an egg...

[teeta]

I would probably be eaten.

If I were a newt ...

[dazzledfirestar]

I'd be living comfortably in my own livingroom.

If I were a duck...

[teeta]

I would quack.

If I were a book ...

[Nanaea]

I'd be a classic.

If I were were a song...

[teeta]

I'd be hard and fast.

If I were a fairy ...

[Nanaea]

I'd be Tinkerbell.

If I were a nymph....

[teeta]

I'd have long, green hair.

If I were a cat ...

[Nanaea]

I'd be a black one.

If I were a black cat...

[teeta]

I would live with a witch.

If I lived with a witch ...

[Nanaea]

I'd be a lesbian.

If I were a lesbian...

[teeta]

I would be the same I'm now, just lesbian *shrugs*

If I were an undertaker ...

[redsliver]

I could dig it.

If I were a bad pun...

[teeta]

I wouldn't be laughed at.

If I were a rusty gun ...

[redsliver]

I'd break the barrel when shot.

If I were prostitute...

[teeta]

I would wear mini skirts and net tights.

If I were a pimp ...

[redsliver]

I'd have to collect my money.

If I were naked...

[teeta]

I would feel cooler.

If I were a woman ...

[redsliver]

I'd be playing with my tits.

If I were a man...

[teeta]

I would have no tits to play with.

If I were a bra ...

[redsliver]

I'd bring in more viewers than Spider-man

If I were underwear...

[teeta]

I would hide many secrets.

If I were a jock strap ...

[redsliver]

I'd be tented

If I were masturbating...