If Not, It Never Was (Muppets challenge)

[FairySlayer]

These are replies for my week 9 challenge (Evergreen) entry, "If Not, It Never Was" (story) - (reviews).

You fuss at SK for his use of the prompt and you do this? He had an evergreen branch in there at least with the pine I do have to admit, I was a bit concerned when I saw Muppet, but it was well done. Now I'm trying to imagine Miss piggy with green hair LOL!

I've already apologized to Shakdowknight for missing the branch because I was too busy being pedantic.

It always seemed to me that Miss Piggy's was the antithesis of every man portrayed in Lifetime movies, so it seemed natural that this would eventually happen. Kermit isn't aggressive; sure, he would hurt a fly, just nothing more.

At least with green hair she could play an alien on "Pigs in Space" now.

By the way, if you would prefer that I write for the intended meaning of the prompts then I'd be happy to, but so far I get the feeling that people don't mind my straying.

Snorts, "It's not easy being green!" Poor Kermie. Poor Piggy. Very funny!

At least he's not suffering anymore, and just imagine the shrine being put up where he was found on Sesame Street.

NOOOOOOOOO! No, not poor Kermit! Curse you author! Curse you to bits!

But seriously, I think this was actually both dramatic and hilarious at once. Your take on evergreen was deliciously original, to start with, and then you just manage to deconstruct one of the show's most basic premises (that abuse is funny) and show us what would happen if it was applied realistically. I have to applaud you for handling things so terrifically whilst still maintaining a sense of underlying hilarity that makes you chuckle for a good long while even after you're done reading (I swear, I got the most hilarious image of her driving a car and going "KYAAAAH" as she pumped the gas pedal). And it's just a drabble, so you get bonus points for that, too. Very nicely done.

I would critique only the very first sentence, which sounds forced and slightly confusing, but it's really a mere matter of cleaning it up a bit for clarity.

Looking at it again with fresh eyes I have to agree about the first sentence. It's a sign of the kind of week and weekend that was getting to me, and it made me feel like I had to rush — the ultimate sign of when one shouldn't rush.

Making short and sweet seemed better than describing a full murder scene, and I had an idea about the crime scene itself but, again, mentioning how "in a sick twist of fate, the flies now feasted on him" was a bit too gruesome for a holiday tale. (Then again, the red & green of Christmas... oh bother! )

Now if only I can figure out why I wrote two death-fics in row for the challenges...

All in all, the challenges seem to be sharpening my sense of brevity and lubing my will to write, a sort of "KB Jelly". (Yesterday I saw a picture and managed to crank out a five-page lemon for it with only two hours work! It's nowhere ready for prime-time, but for me that's amazing speed for a first draft.)

Thanks to all who commented. Next week I'll have something a lot more fun, promise!

[ApolloImperium]

I wasn't complaining - I was teasing I love reading the various ways people interpret it.

Totally could see her as an alien now tho... Hmmm...

[FairySlayer]

Good to know, AI. Let's hope that if she's the alien princess it will finally make Kirk think twice...

Oh, no! Kermit! Oh, Miss Piggy, what have you done?

Very creative use of the prompt, and I'm going to have the image of Piggy with green hair in my head for some time!

Thanks. Let's just hope she doesn't become despondent and decide to parody Dr. Seuss in suicide: Green Eggs and Green Ham...

Speaking as a long time Miss Piggy fan (20 years and counting!) this was one of the only fics I've read on AFF that actually was funny enough to make me laugh, not just chuckle on the inside, but out of control laughter. Especially the second paragraph, that just totally got me. Very original idea, and you also get props for pulling it off in under 100 words!

Thanks. If left for a day it would have been better (as others noted), but I'm glad you managed to get a good laugh out of it. That's always a good thing, even in other stories where it wasn't the intended goal. As for keeping it so short, thank ApolloImperium for the whole challenge series.

[FairySlayer]

First Frosty, now Kermit. I hear Papa Smurf hired a close protection team and is keeping away from windows...

Heh, the dark and gritty muppets idea actually works pretty good. It's kind of like those behind the laughter things where clowns are supposed to be crying on the inside. Miss Piggy's always a figure of fun, the whole point of course, but then you have something about this that asks people to consider just what they're laughing at.

I bet she'll be beating some other guy before long.

Well, Brainy very well could be planning a coup against the bearded old blue.

Whenever I look back at old TV shows like "The Honeymooners" where Ralph was always threatening to punch Alice, or think about Ricky spanking Lucy, it makes more than a little uneasy. I also remember many radio commercials from my childhood where, if the topic was "a man thing" they'd always make the woman look stupid, and that always bugged me. (Compare that to most commercials these days.) One day it occurred to me the Kermit and Miss Piggy relationship wasn't much different from what one may see in Lifetime movies.

However, though I'd love to claim some serious and extremely thoughtful approach to writing this drabble, I really just wanted a good reason for a well-known character to do something green-related and permanent. In the end it was just a silly idea after all.

Thanks for commenting, and let's hope Gonzo doesn't fall into her trap!