Fairy Slayer's Replies to Your Much-Appreciated Reviews

[FairySlayer]

re: 'Letters from "Derpy"'

i have no clue as to why i love this so...only, that i do!

As long as you do, I'm happy. Maybe the fun I had writing them is getting through.

Thanks for the comment on Shoujo Kakumei Lisa Simpson too.

Edited May 21, 2016 by FairySlayer

[FairySlayer]

re: "Moonstruck Down"

*snickers* I can just see the hoof in the face after getting told off, but that has to hurt alot more than a face palm!

Let's hope the ponies know their own strength when it comes to things like that. Even if she barely touched her forehead just to rub her temples I'm sure she'd have a major headache after that meeting.

Thanks for giving it a look... and for leaving a comment.

Edited May 21, 2016 by FairySlayer

[FairySlayer]

re: 'Letters from "Derpy"'

Brilliant work! I hope to see more please!

With Love,

Victorian R. Hellsly

Thanks. It felt good to take her from such a bad place and make things work out in the end, even if Princess Luna had to jerk her around a little in the process. (Goddesses don't think like mortals and have wisdom so immense they can't just speak it... I rationalize. )

There's only one more letter to write and finish the project. Now the Equestria Daily "sortable" story listing is on-line and I just caught up on all of my dA work, so maybe I'll even get started today.

Edited May 21, 2016 by FairySlayer

[FairySlayer]

re: "The Great Bale Out" (reviews).

Hee hee hee hee! I wish I had animated emoticons I could use here! You get five stars for making me laugh. I thoroughly enjoyed it.

I'm very pleasantly surprised that you liked it, and getting some laughs is a big score in my book. I thought an "homage" to Phineas and Ferb would be fun for the ponies. Maybe I should have promoted it after all, but I think other forum regulars are concerned that I've been a bit too pony crazy. (It's true, yes, but fortunately it seems to have pretty much run its course.)

I went back and forth on whether or not to mention the PaF aspect in the description. On dA I commissioned a picture of Dr. Hinds Hoofenshmirtz to use as the story preview icon, hopefully giving readers enough of a hint.

Thanks for checking it out and letting me know you enjoyed it.

Edited May 21, 2016 by FairySlayer

[FairySlayer]

re: 'Letters from "Derpy"'

This was a fun read. At first I was all sad for her then it just got better and better. Keep at it

Thanks. If the first oneshot hadn't made me feel so bad for her then the story never would have come this far. Sadly, I just posted 15^th and final letter (plus a tiny postscript). It should have been done a lot sooner, but I got tied up organizing all of the story links for the Equestria Daily blog, plus I've been distracted for other reasons.

I do have a complete Pinkie Pie story that's nearly ready to post, but it starts at about the same level of angst as this one and then only gets much, much darker.

Edited May 21, 2016 by FairySlayer

[FairySlayer]

re: "My Absolute Mostest Horriblest Day EVER!," as told by Pinkie Pie (reviews)

Heh, as I noted once before I don't really know this fandom - I remember the MLP from the eighties a little bit, but even that's vague so if I have missed any good series nods, uh... ooops. That out the way I enjoyed your MLP prompts so thought I'd give this a try - plus as promotions go, the gore scale had me hooked "0.6 JayDees" - we ought to get this scientifically tested, all the way up to nothing left but a fine red haze...

Ahem, so the title made me smile especially with it followed with a grab bag of the grimmer codes, and it feels MLP to my aforementioned vague knowlege! (I wonder if those 80s ponies ended up battling drink and drugs like former movie and tv stars...)

Okay, so the story! I was thinking there had to be something a little funny about the narator pony, and then when one of the others explicitly stated it, it showed you'd been aiming for that. Right on! It's all kind of sweetness and utter confusion for the narator all the way through except for that one line "And I shoved Celestia's horn right into her fucking chest." which really makes that line stand out powerfully. Wasn't expecting Spike's plan to get twilight's bridle off either, and that works well it's a good plot turn.

The note near the end about the sun and the moon continuing on also made me smile, you gotta wonder if 'everypony' was waking up each day thinking "Fuck it! We've been had!"

Fine red haze eek! I'm glad you read it despite my thinly veiled attempt to attract readers with your name. Actually, if not for that I wouldn't have promoted it at all because I've been a pretty bad citizen in the DD&DT department.* The codes are definitely required but probably turn away many readers who could handle the small amount of each; meanwhile, I worry that readers who were looking forward to much more horror and pain would be sorely disappointed.

Yes, I was shocked to see how grim the original special was: a demon lord, evil pony-napping monsters, conversions by hellfire and, most horrific of all, singing! It's a weird combination but then again it was the drug-fueled '80s. Hopefully no ponies are about to go all Charlie Sheen/Lindsay Lohan now.

Pinkie Pie is very bouncy and wacky, though her personality and "abilities" are based on Looney Tunes characters, not coke. I'm glad that one line of extreme anger stood out as intended. For that moment it seemed to work, and I didn't realize until weeks later (after waiting for proofreading) that it marked a change in her mood from zany and clueless to angst-ridden, even remorseful; her earlier line about lasting depression later on seemed to fit better too.

Perhaps I should have dropped a few extra words to explain Spike's "sending fire":

I was so super mad that she couldn't reach, but then the bridle burnt up off Twilight's face like when he's sending scrolls to Celestia!

Then the magical smoke travels to the tip of Celestia's horn and rematerializes. (Return messages are burped up as flames that materialize into scrolls or other things. They haven't shown Celestia's sending process yet that would be like the episode of "Batman" where they showed him going up the Batpole.)

The "We've been had!" idea comes up sometimes, but Nightmare Moon (basically Princess Luna's evil, Super-Saiyan form) proves the mythology in the premiere. Then again, maybe she just blocked out the sun like Monty Burns did.

Thanks for checking it out and leaving your thoughts.

* I'll withhold the excuses.

Edited May 21, 2016 by FairySlayer

[JayDee]

Re: sending fire - I had a mental image more akin to a Ghost Buster's proton pack than scrolls and smoke, that's one of those things where readers familiar with the series would know exactly what you mean though so extra description probably isn't needed for the non fans

These days fans are more keen on seeing Robin riding the Batpole...

We were tough in the 80s! We could take it! We didn't need anime styled Thundercats! etc

[FairySlayer]

re: "Petting Doom" (reviews).

I cant believe that nobody reviewed this story. Its a fucking insult to the talent that went with this; it was hot, very, very funny with an accurate portrayal of the characters and in the crazy universe they seem to live in. I just wish it had been actually more longer so I could continue to enjoy it more, or hell a centric Dib/Gaz sequel would be great too. Its nicely written as well; very enjoyable read, I tip my hat to you sir.

I hope we get a sequel.

From Venezuela

D4rK

When it first went up on WWOEC there were quite a few positive comments. (The story is probably still there but I bet the comments have been pruned in the years since. I may have a copy somewhere...) So the story did get plenty of love, and with any luck it will get some more now that it's here for good.

The story turned out to be a lot of fun to write and was one of the few stories that seemed to "flow out of my fingers" along the way. Apart from a few of the challenge pieces there have been only two others that were wonderfully fun to write. ("Payback's a Pussy" and "Cakewalk on the Catwalk.") In this case I'd hoped to re-write it in pure prose style at some point because "screenplay format" seems icky to me now. It's just that I won't have time and Tommy Simms was aghast at the thought anyway, so when gouldkiller asked me to get it back on-line I didn't hesitate.

There probably won't be a sequel unless there's a resurgence of IZ... or if I fall into a decent crowd where the series is still hot. My motivation tends to go with who I'm interacting with the most at any time. (Right now that's pretty much a full-stop but that won't last long.)

Thanks most of all for enjoying it to its fullest. There was a lot packed in there and it's nice to know that you got to taste every bit.

Edited May 21, 2016 by FairySlayer

[FairySlayer]

re: "My Absolute Mostest Horriblest Day EVER!," as told by Pinkie Pie

Re: sending fire - I had a mental image more akin to a Ghost Buster's proton pack than scrolls and smoke, that's one of those things where readers familiar with the series would know exactly what you mean though so extra description probably isn't needed for the non fans

These days fans are more keen on seeing Robin riding the Batpole...

We were tough in the 80s! We could take it! We didn't need anime styled Thundercats! etc

If you say it works without the description then that's good enough for me. Until about a minute ago I thought I'd have worded it differently, but now I realize that that could have been a spoiler for what he was actually doing. (Premature exposition!)

Heh, no wonder Robin had to change his name to Nightwing.

Even Superfriends got edgier in its final episodes, though Justice League (...Unlimited) goes way beyond.

2011-04-15 id # 3000037913 [a really thoughtful review]

Wow! Thanks for the detailed feedback, and thoughtful it is (and definitely not "weak"). You really paid attention to the story, which is always nice to know. I wasn't sure about the idea, even up until posting it because I didn't know if the contrast between the horror and Pinkie Pie's excitable personality would work. If either aspect was much stronger then it would either sound like a poorly written grimdark or a bad impression of Pinkie Pie.

Anyway, I'm happy that you found it funny overall, though if you'd care to I'd love to hear your thoughts on Pinkie Pie killing Princess Luna and the shift to a more somber tone. If found it very hard to write Pinkie being that thoughtful (then add less-excitable!) while still making her sound like Pinkie Pie. (Well, once I realized I'd changed the mood almost too drastically.) Strangely though, I like her ending wisdom and don't think it was a stretch; she often comes up with the right answers in the show, though I expect that may garner criticism. (Not that there's anything wrong with that!)

Yeah, her wording could have had more random observations and tangents, though my big worry was overdoing it. Even with just the asides in there now had me concerned. I'm sure when I re-read it in a few months I'll see lots of missed opportunities. (Also my "beta" was eaten by a Real Life before she could give me any feedback, and that leaves anything I write 16²/₃% less cool. )

I'm pretty new to first-person, but the greatest thing and worst vulnerability is that point-of-view must stick in once place. (There are "mixed" stories too, but as of now I doubt I could do it well.) That's why there wasn't much about Rarity, except a short reminder with the bow/curtain. Her presence made many things easier, though I could cop to a bit of deus ex machina when she showed up after the battle. Also, I was iffy on using that much of Luna's dialogue as opposed to indirect quotes to keep Pinkie's mood forefront, but there are things she wouldn't say or understand which needed clarity. (Though it was nice to do the "blah blah blah" thing.)

My next pony lemon is going to be more explicit and juicy, though it's very "shade of gray" in mood. It's also to make up with something that didn't work out in one of my previous lemons.

Again, thanks both of you.

Edited May 21, 2016 by FairySlayer

[Guest Crayon]

Not entirely sure how to quote posts, but here goes.

Anyway, I'm happy that you found it funny overall, though if you'd care to I'd love to hear your thoughts on Pinkie Pie killing Princess Luna and the shift to a more somber tone. If found it very hard to write Pinkie being that thoughtful (then add less-excitable!) while still making her sound like Pinkie Pie. (Well, once I realized I'd changed the mood almost too drastically.) Strangely though, I like her ending wisdom and don't think it was a stretch; she often comes up with the right answers in the show, though I expect that may garner criticism. (Not that there's anything wrong with that!)

I'm pretty new to first-person, but the greatest thing and worst vulnerability is that point-of-view must stick in once place. (There are "mixed" stories too, but as of now I doubt I could do it well.) That's why there wasn't much about Rarity, except a short reminder with the bow/curtain. Her presence made many things easier, though I could cop to a bit of deus ex machina when she showed up after the battle. Also, I was iffy on using that much of Luna's dialogue as opposed to indirect quotes to keep Pinkie's mood forefront, but there are things she wouldn't say or understand which needed clarity. (Though it was nice to do the "blah blah blah" thing.)

Well, first of all let me say that you certainly hit the figurative nail on the head with the whole first person perspective. It was easy enough to picture myself listening to the actual Pinkie Pie telling the story, what with the whole perfect characterization. And stuff. Again, it was brilliantly executed, so whatever you're doing, keep it up.

As for the change of atmosphere after Pinkie kills Princess Luna, it wasn't really all that bad. In fact, I can't really picture a better conclusion. Luna was a bee-otch, and she got what was coming to her; even if Pinkie Pie had to do it. You obviously decided to shift Pinkie's usually peppy/happy diction to a sort of, darker one, for a reason, but it was for the best! Despite her cheery storytelling, your mentioning that she cried pretty much non-stop while the actual event took place shows that it wasn't a very enjoyable time in her life, so it's understandable- hell, even more suitable!- that she would take on a more melancholy tone after killing- something (presumably) extremely taboo in this Equestria- someone! Especially since she's Pinkie Pie. Her remorse/sorrow is especially discernible during the final few lines where she started talking about Celestia and Luna being buried together. I can see how it could have been tough to portray her mixed emotions, but you did a fine job. Actually, I'd even go as far as to say that you kept it a bit peppier than most would have. You ended on a high note with the whole, "Twilight telling everypony that she's the one who finally brought true harmony to Equestria". It led me to wonder whether or not she actually took pride in her actions, even if they did amount to something good. I guess leaving your readers with something to think about after they've finished reading is a good sign.

Not too sure about that one line, though. You know the one. Even given the circumstances, I didn't think it was really something Pinkie would say (plus it lacked an exclamation mark!). I could see it being said with a more jovial approach, but she was pretty serious at that point. Maybe if the narrator were someone like, say, a Rainbow Dash, it would have been suitable, but I personally feel like you broke character for just a brief moment with that line. I do find it kind of funny that that of all the messed up stuff that happens is what occurs to me as being wrong.

I hope this was applicable to the type of feedback you were looking for. If not, terribly sorry. And I very much look forward to your next story, be it ponysex or Cupcakes 2: The Return of the Pinkie Die.

*giggles diffidently to himself*

[FairySlayer]

re: "Confound Those Cutie Marks" (reviews).

...and was it so bad I planned to look at a MLP story in hopes of some inter-pony fisting? The answer... is yes. I'm messed up. I did see your follow up though, and when I did start reading I knew hoofing didn't mean what I thought it meant.

That paragraph with Rarity adjusting the dress was sexy - no wonder Twilight was shaking! The oral was very well written too, I could totally see that in my head (after googling to check I pony appearance as I did with that other story... incidently, youtube has some pretty funny re-dubs of the movie 300 onto MLP episodes. They get the lip and music sync spot on!) and of course, you can't go wrong with an erotically applied unicorn horn!

Great fun. At this rate I am gonna end up drawn into the MLP fandom...

“Join the Herd... Don't be afraid...” (... or just YouTube...)

The story came about after discussions on deviantART about cutie marks and tails possibly being erogenous zones. Again, I could have been a bit clearer with the tags. By the way, does "horning" count as toys? Even without the special trick?

I'm glad you enjoyed the bits of seduction along with the licky action. It's not often that one pony gets to undress another, and it makes a good excuse to get close. Rarity couldn't go too fast, but most of the readers would have been annoyed if she hadn't gotten Twilight worked up quickly enough. In the series Rarity often comes across as mature than the others (and is a successful business owner), giving her the upper hoof.

Speaking of hooves, the "real" kind will probably show up in future stories, but I've gotten myself into a pickle by letting others choose which story I write next. (My lemon came in last place. ) Oh well, time to get to my Lamaze class...

Edited May 21, 2016 by FairySlayer

[FairySlayer]

re: "Confound Those Cutie Marks"

i LOVED this!!!! i hope u do more fics like this w/twilight!

The next couple of stories won't have much Twilight action, but hopefully I can slip a little bit in somehow. I'm sure she'll find some hard-to-reach books that initially shock, then fascinate. Thanks for letting me know how much you enjoyed it, and every comment helps me stay on the right track.

HA. HAHAHA.

My stars, fairy slayer, that was excellent! Cutie marks as erogenous zones, who would've guessed? Maybe that's why the CMC want theirs so bad

Everything was set up very believably, and I love me some TwiTy. Or is it Rarilight? Light Tea? Gah, stupid incompatible nicknames. Twilight's initial aversion towards Rarity's coming onto her was very reminiscent of 'Magic Book', and I really loved how Rarity took plenty of caution in using her seductress charm and foreplay prowess to subtly convert Twilight. Very nice. The act itself was well written, and it stood at a good equilibrium between, "Dude, whoa" and "Icanfaptothis.dib". And of course Twilight's trademark ineptness when it comes to relationships made it adorably awkward and gave Rarity a challenge. The Sweetie Belle bit was a nice little cherry on top, though I don't think getting an unobstructed view into Rarity's room without opening the door completely is possible given its position in accordance to the show. But then again, that's just me over thinking things Great read, bro. Also, I should probably stop reading these in public. Came dangerously close to an embarrassing situation as I read this at my local cafe. Luckily I had a table to myself OKAY TMI. 5 x's turned on their side for you, good sir.

Long comments are fine with me, whether glowing or criticizing. (The former is craved; the latter important.)

Maybe you're right about the blank flanks being frustrated because they know they're so close to new and exciting pleasures. Now, do you think Rarity would start teaching her sister about the slow and steady art of seduction too? Could be fun... Perhaps as naughty as reading these stories in public. (If I couldn't sit with my back to a wall I'd keep a window ready with, "STOP LOOKING OVER MY SHOULDER!")

Perhaps I should have looked closer at Carousel Boutique, though Rarity and Twilight were meant to be in the main showroom. I guessed that a staircase would come down right into the shop, or maybe around a corner at the most. An earlier version described showroom curtains being drawn, to avoid distractions if anypony happened to be out that late; also I'd meant to mention that Twilight was staring at Rarity's other wares while looking straight ahead. So my bad on not making the venue clear.

At some point I'll make sure each of the Cutie Mark Crusaders gets to have some fun. What's a good inconspicuous cutie mark for rough sex?

And I go with RareLight even though the pairing is far from rare. IIRC, the very first pony kissing picture was those two.

Edited May 21, 2016 by FairySlayer

[FairySlayer]

re: "Confound Those Cutie Marks"

This was so great, please please please do more, I would just die of happiness if you did one with Celestia and Twilight

I'm glad you enjoyed it so much, though again credit also goes to TwilightFlopple and Buttersc0tchSundae for the esoteric touches. The instant I read your comment a decent Celestia/Luna ("Celuna"?) idea came to mind, though I have a list to get through first.

Edited May 21, 2016 by FairySlayer

[FairySlayer]

re: "Diamond Takes it Rough" (reviews)

Being made to spend any kind of time with Scootaloo...you sure know how to punish someone...Wish you could have used a pony that didn't make people throw up in their mouths every time they saw her.......

Rest assured that there will be plenty of other stories not involving Scootaloo.

Aside from some very obvious spelling errors, this story is AMAZING!!!!! I loved every bit of it, and then some! Massive props as well for writing something that many people are so openly disgusted with. I for one am not bothered by it, and can rate it without bias, which is why I give it a solid 5/5. Keep up the great work! ^^

Thanks for jumping in with some good news about the story. I think some of the others still liked it overall except for the "deal-breakers." All non-flaming feedback is helpful, but your praise is definitely appreciated.

I know you're right and I'll be freaking out over all of the mistakes when I have a chance to do corrections. I'm really missing my "beta" these days, and to be honest I was anxious to post anything since the well of clopfics had been drying up. (I get tired of updating only the "last checked" date on ClopsSort every day.)

I'm usually not one for non-con, but it's very hard to feel sorry for Diamond Tiara when she's so bent on tossing thorough and unprovoked nastiness at others. What goes around comes around, Diamond. Rough-and-tumble Scootaloo was the perfect one to give her such a wake up call, too. They're the same age and same size, so it seems more fair than turning one of the big sister ponies on her.

Nice job!

Knowing that it was good enough to overcome one aspect you usually don't like is a huge compliment. A few others have had issues with stuff (the mention of Big Mac, along with Scootaloo!?) but still enjoyed it enough (I'm guessing) to comment.

Yeah......this story would have worked a lot better if you hadnt had SCOOTALOO teaching a lesson. I mean your premise is to punish Diamond Tiara for being a bitch. So whats the point if the one punishing is almost also a bitch? Scootaloo is dismissive, impatient, rude, and very close-minded...she may not be as big a bitch as Diamond Tiara, but no one who's paid any attention to the show can pretend she's not a bitch at all. And what's the point of having a story where the glee comes from seeing a bitch get punished if it's just a bit of a less bitch punishing? it would be like having someone lecture Sarah Palin on not being a fucking moron, but the person lecturing her turned out to be George W. Bush. Applebloom or Sweetiebell would have worked in this, but not someone who should be getting the same treatment.

Okay, I'm starting to see a pattern here. Scootaloo is my least favorite of the three also, but she's the most aggressive and impulsive of the bunch. (Scootaloo's ranking may change depending on how they develop Sweetie Belle, if ever.) Apple Bloom could have made a good attacker too, and perhaps better suited when it comes to the guilt angle. In this case it felt like making her cry was a big enough deal to demand punishment from a friend. Heh, now I'm trying to imagine Sweetie Belle sexually assaulting someone...

Or would you rather see Scootaloo punished now? Perhaps by someone who's generally good but knows the orange filly requires a firm hoof (etc.) in this case?

Edited May 21, 2016 by FairySlayer

[FairySlayer]

re: "Petting Doom"

hey there. i really liked your story. it was a different style, being styled after a script which you dont see a lot of. and i like that you were brave enough to use the characters as kids, it was hot. awesome attention to detail too. i also liked the comedy you threw in, you stuck to the characters styles very well. i laughed loud when Gir bit Dib's dick lol. thank you for this awesome story.

First off, sorry for the delay. Stuff, y' know.

In the beginning I used "screenplay format" quite a bit, but given the option I prefer straight prose (or actually, lesbian and even slash prose just as much). In this case I pretty much stepped into it and probably made it a bit description-heavy... but how much dialogue do you really need in a silly lemon? (Besides, it's much easier to be sexy than it is to be funny.)

Keeping the characters as kids is easier for me because there's too much temptation to change their character if they're older. This way I have to think and speak in-character for them, maintaining the style as you mentioned. Aaaaaaaand, it also happens to be the most fun kind of story to write.

Yeah, GIR is so random, but that's actually a great thing when it comes to callbacks. The show (and the story) would never have worked without him.

Edited May 21, 2016 by FairySlayer

[FairySlayer]

re: "Fall Weather Friends - Alternate Alternate Ending" (reviews), an expansion of a joke piece I made after the episode "Fall Weather Friends" aired. Did this turn into A Joke Too Far?

I want to love this fic,a nd its really hot, but trollestia just ruins it for me. Shes not like that at all! I dont know why ppl gotta ruin her character like that

At the very least I'm glad you found it hot, though sorry that mean Celestia spoiled it for you. It was all supposed to be a bit tongue-in-cheek. I'm not very much into the Trollestia thing myself, but it was worth a shot. (One thing I can hardly stand is Evil Celestia, or "Cevilestia"? to some. That's almost too much for me.)

The first joke one was kind of funny so I thought this would be, but it really didn't seem all that funny after candy vaj. The sex was ok but it got too detailed and seemed to repeat stuff. It was hard to finish reading as it was Applejack to cum. So it wasn't that bad but could have been better if it was shorter and didn't take so long. Adding the Mommy Nearest was too much too. It didn't fit and probably made lots of people go wtf if they didn't see that one.

I think it's 3 1/2 stars cause it was ok enough but not great, but I will round up to 4.

At the very least I'm glad you read it all plus took time to tell me what didn't work. I'm starting to think I should have left this alone, but I felt I had to try. In the end I probably rushed it, but I spent a lot of time proofreading it, letting it sit, etc. and advertised for someone else to pre-read. When I look back in a few weeks I'll probably see some of what you're talking about with the redundant stuff. (I can already guess on is mentioning that Rainbow Dash was scared after saying how she kneeled to the ground and whimpered, right?)

I usually put little references to other stories in new ones, but I suppose it was just a bit over the top even if Celestia had an incest fetish. Maybe I'll changed that paragraph near the end to pull out the "Freyja" part and just leave it with her being sweet to RD and short with Applejack. (But was even that funny?)

Thanks too for doing the math in my favor.

Well, I really don't know what to say except it was SOOOOOOOO AWSOME!!!

Aww, shucks! I'm really glad you enjoyed it. Not that I can't appreciate the criticisms, but this is pretty sweet to see.

Edited May 21, 2016 by FairySlayer

[FairySlayer]

re: "Candy, Little Girl"

Hey, just reviewing to tell you how intriguing this story is so far. Not only is it well-written, it also has dialogue in it that could suggest that this is an X-rated version of the show.

I particularly want to see what Doofenshmirtz does about Candace.

Please update this soon.

Thanks for the kind words, especially writing when you did. I'm glad you like it and especially happy you think it's within the show's style (if I read your comments right).

The urge to finally finish this one is strong, even after well over a year idling. Most of it is planned out, but it's like I was working from two ends, with 8 and 9 looking very strong, but I found a bad wrinkle in part 7 as I was writing it and felt I couldn't make it work. Considering how "well" my stories of late have been doing perhaps I should go back to my roots and have one less abandoned story on my hands.

Doofenshmirtz will ... well, get what he deserves, whatever that means. Heh heh heh.

Edited May 21, 2016 by FairySlayer

[FairySlayer]

re: "Fall Weather Friends - Alternate Alternate Ending"

I loved it.

"Ponykebabsayswhat?" made me laugh so hard XD

I love Trollestia.

Thanks for letting me know how much you liked it, and more so that there was enough Trollestia there to make it work. I have to admit that the pony-kebab line was my favorite joke in the whole story, so it's great to know that at least one other person got a laugh from it.

Edited May 21, 2016 by FairySlayer

[FairySlayer]

re: "Diamond Takes it Rough"

Hey man I liked Scootaloo's willingness to help her friends in this way. Good job making it seem like she really wanted to get revenge on Diamond, but it almost seemed like Scootaloo stopped doing it for Applebloom and just did it because she hated Diamond. I thought the story flowed well and I didn't get lost as to who did what which happens often with the stories around here. If you were interested, my friend and I did a reading of it and put it on Youtube. If you want me to take it down or if you thought it was funny send me a message. (link)

Good point about Scootaloo doing more for herself and her hatred of DT once she started. Scootaloo probably welcomed the excuse. As for the reading...

Well, it's hard to know what to think. It's flattering that you'd give up twenty-eight minutes of your life to do that, but at the same time it did seriously point out the flaws here and there. I jumped around because, uh, 28 minutes? Damn, even with the extra stuff that's way too long for a short story. I need to write less. (Take that any way you want.)

When I try to explain to folks that lemons are ridiculous, ribaldry, they don't get it. Fortunately your video makes the point much more effectively. Also, if I did sit through the whole thing and cringe at my own writing, plus your commentary, I'd probably be better for it. Just not yet.

As for the "judging" go right ahead: I've done much worse. Much much worse.

Now, regarding your work: I'd actually expected more of a dramatic reading, with a snooty accent and all, or some serious riffing. If clip-on mics are out of the question (or budget) then work on range a bit because I missed a lot as you two leaned back or moved away. With a little planning I bet you could have much more fun with this form of critique. I probably would have had an easier time sitting through it, even after you got to "prancing," plus "clitoral hood" was pretty awful. (What was I thinking!)

Edited May 21, 2016 by FairySlayer

[FairySlayer]

re: 'Letters from "Derpy"'

I sincerely enjoyed your take on "Derpy" hooves. Making her seem like a victim of bullying never occurred to me. Her embarrassment and depression and even her attempted suicide were all portrayed in a humorous way, but her pain still felt very real. I liked how you made all the characters with negative emotions band together to express themselves in a positive way that was still true to their genuine personalities. Suddenly having them all turn to goodness and light would have felt very "fake" (and this is a story about talking, flying, magical horses etc., mind you.) I particularly liked that you used Spike, very effectively, as Betrayal. He's my favorite character because he's snarky, not afraid to call 'em as he sees 'em, and often seems very wise in his observations. I think you've really caught the "flavor" of the series and have done it great justice. I hope you have the time and inspiration to keep writing stories like this. Everypony who likes the series would appreciate this!

Thanks. This was just one thought someone had mentioned in the early days and it seemed like a good idea to explore. Then, why not get all of the misfits in on the action? It was also fun to keep each section short and to the point (usually). As for writing "like this" I think that's probably not a bad idea: clean and pithy. The series is more fun that way.

Edited May 21, 2016 by FairySlayer

[FairySlayer]

re: "It's the Wrought That Counts"

This story is wonderfully in character and the dialogue is perfect. I could actually see this playing out in my mind! If you added a letter to Princess Celestia at the end I would have thought it was an actual episode of the series. Your portrayal of Spike, as wise beyond his years, is very poignant. Apple Jack actually finding the book "interestin" and Pinkie Pie's line were brilliant!

Thanks. It was one of the most fun challenge stories to write, especially since I'd seen only a few episodes and didn't have to worry quite so much about keeping them in character. Luckily I didn't need to expand on them either, so that was good. The ponies are almost too easy to work with, but I guess that's why there are floods of new people drawing and writing for them.

And of course she'd pick out books that they'd actually like.

Edited May 21, 2016 by FairySlayer

[FairySlayer]

re: "Candy, Little Girl"

UPDATE ALREADY!!!! I've been waiting!!

patiently I might add......

I know, I feel pretty awful about it myself. A few weeks ago I decided to put aside my most-recent fascination and move on, and this was the first story that came to mind. Maybe once I straighten out a few things I can get back on it. Let's hope!

UPDATE: Yes, I feel even awfuller as I update this consolidated thread now...

Edited May 21, 2016 by FairySlayer

[Guest EJKorvette]

Hope you can get back to the that story. There are pairings you didn't get to, that I would like to see.

[FairySlayer]

re: "Candy, Little Girl"

Seeing four reviews suddenly pop up together in just over a week was a more than pleasant surprise. Is there renewed interest because of the movie? Because the PaF section was added? Either way:

Sorry for the late replies, but the last six days have been a bit off for me. Oddly enough, I've been thinking more and more about this story in the past several weeks, wondering if I can avoid jumping the shark in the next part

Okay, I'll give it a shot soon.

hmmm this is geting good, will candance be heinz second chance at being a proper daddy? i am glad perry got into it, reading all those chapters i had one thoughton my mind "Perry would never let something like this happen, he has to have a plot to save her!" so i'm glad you wrote this chapter, cant wait for more!

Thanks, and neither can I. ^_^'

Oh my god...please, PLEASE continue this! It's just...auugh I have no words...freakin' AWESOME, is what! You write the characters so well, I could see (and hear) it all in my head....and now I can't even watch Lawrence on the show anymore without thinking of him as a TOTAL CREEPER, haha. Something about that mellow voice...idk man. I gotta know what happens next, and can't be the only one! Oh, the part with Heinz misinterpreting the "rape kit"...I literally guffawed...Perry's role throughout is so heartbreakingly sweet and desperate..when Linda picks him up and says "he missed you too" and there's a tear in his eye you can just feel his helplessness with the whole situation...Stacy being so loving and selfless with Candace really got to me...and ugh, I want to murder Suzy. And then there was Ferb coming on to Candace, and the way you wrote him he was so in-character....I wanna see where that goes. Hell, they're ALL incredibly in-character, even with the bizarre subject matter...it takes a very skilled writer to do that.

/end semi-coherent babble

tl;dr YOU MUST FINISH THIS STORY. PLEASE.

Thanks for that lift (and my ego especially thanks you). Yeah, Lawrence seems like he lives in another world sometimes. I'm glad you got a laugh at the "Rape Kit" because no one else mentioned it: it's a real Doof thing to do, and keeping them in-character (despite the few changes) makes it more enjoyable for me too.

Okay, how exhiliratingly inappropriate!

But I couldn't stop reading.

The way the author made all this sick disgusting stuff so believable, I wonder what the author has been up to.

I am surprised you didn't work The Fireside Girls into your depraved tale. Or will that be Chapter 7?

Some of the pairings were pretty obvious. Some were really unexpected, such as Lawrence using Suzy as a remote control to do stuff to Candace.

Can't wait for Chapter 7!

Glad to hear the story is captivating, to say the least. Besides being on the pony bandwagon for a few months (or more?) I've been putting off chapter 7 because there was a big bump, but as above the story has been calling out to me recently. I need a remote-controlled Suzy to type it up five different ways for me, but Lawrence snatched her up already.

By the way, if you want a little Fireside Girl femslash moresome check out "A Slick Tradition" (one of the weekly challenges). Hmm, that reminds me that I need to put up the extended version too. (The limit was a thousand words, but the fifteen-hundred word version is a bit better.)

Hope you can get back to the that story. There are pairings you didn't get to, that I would like to see.

Well, the next chapter's pairing is a bit ... odd, but it should be quite delicious.

Now why didn't the forum notify me of your post? Haf'ta check the Follow settings.

Everyone, thanks again for the encouragement!

Edited May 21, 2016 by FairySlayer

[FairySlayer]

re: "Fairly FlawedParents" (reviews), which was written a looooong time ago.

Well, this is easily the best FOP story I have ever read and really puts my lame attempts to shame. The story and characters all feel like something right out of the show and you had me hooked from chapter one all the way through. Since it was recommended to me several times, I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to read this earlier, but I am happy that I have finally gotten to it. I really enjoyed it and can only think to say - Thanks and great job!

You're too kind: I can't imagine that this story is anywhere as good as yours considering the number of hits, votes and especially comments your work gets in very short time compared to this.

I'm glad you enjoyed it so much, and the thanks are much appreciated.

Edited May 21, 2016 by FairySlayer