Underage History Confessions

[EveKnight75]

Recently, a lot of us have admitted that we started visiting AFF or other adult sites before our 18th birthday. Sure, we're legal now. Sure, a lot of us were smart enough not to get caught.

Still, everyone has a different reason for coming here underage, and everyone participated in different ways to different degrees.

I discovered AFF way back in 2000, when I was 13. I was about to move back to North America, and I wanted to look up information on any TV shows which I used to watch (I had been living on the Indian subcontinent for 2 1/2 years). I ended up discovering FanFiction.Net. Frankly, the fics irritated me because of the childish quality of the writing and the atrocious spelling and grammar. Once I figured out how to review, I kept leaving reviews on the spelling and grammar under different guest names (one for each fandom).

Eventually, someone led me to AFF, under the mistaken belief that I was actually an adult. Naive person that I am, I honestly believed that the writing quality would be better because the stuff would be written by adults. An 18-year-old must have better writing skills and a relatively clear grasp on spelling and grammar, right? Right?

Wrong! Although the sheer number of badfics were nowhere near as close as that of FFN, there were still plenty of fics written in bad English. I chose to steer clear of the Erotica section, but I still learned a lot about fictional sex, different fetishes, and different types of RL sexual deviations. I decided to stick to both sites while looking for professional sites representing the shows I was looking up.

Eventually, I got hooked on fanfiction. By the time I was 14, I had learned how to write better concrit, commenting on plot, characterization, and relation to cancn, as well as spelling and grammar. I started working as a beta reader at the age of 15. I started working with the R-rated fics on FFN at 16. However, I only visited AFF. I never rated a fic or left a review, no matter how often I wanted to concrit. I was already doing something naughty and I wasn't about to test my limits.

I didn't actually create an account until I was 18. One night, I was suffering from a fever and insomnia while recovering from having my wisdom teeth pulled out (first surgery). So there I was, at 2 in the morning, hyped up on several different meds while worrying about my first ever university assignment. I was also doing beta work for some pretty crappily written fics at the time.

I don't clearly remember what happened. All I know is that the next day I ended up getting reviews in my inbox for a fic I had apparently posted. I do a backtrack. The fic is on my hard drive on OpenOffice. So I had written it after all. I had also created a new e-mail account, and an account on both FFN and AFF, all under the same pen-name, one that I like.

That fic is the only complete one that I have posted, it being a one-shot. I've now figured out several things. There's a reason why some of the greatest writers in the world were drug addicts. Honestly, I don't think I have the guts to write erotica well when I'm sober. Another thing is that I had been contemplating writing fics as a form of revenge for all the crap I have to read, just to show the world that not all fanfiction has to be utter crap, and there are fanfiction writers out there who know how to work with the English language. I just didn't go through with it until I was out of it.

I guess I was just lucky that I was already 18 when I finally created a fanfiction account for the first time. I know that it seems odd, seeing as how I had been a beta for over a year, but I never posted my own pieces, so I never saw the point. That, and I wanted to create an AFF account, so I didn't want to dangle the proverbial carrot in front of myself.

Either way, I realize that my reasons for visiting AFF aren't conventional. I mean, I could have just stuck to books, right? Still, I wanted to read fiction written by amateurs, and I wanted to see how other fans reacted to the same literature that I liked. AFF is also largely responsible for opening up my mind and allowing my intellect to grow. I've never liked PWP - I still don't. I enjoy erotica now, but didn't start enjoying it until I was 16.

However, once I discovered concepts like necrophilia and incest, I actually wanted to learn more. I mean, incest is featured in royal history, especially Egypt, as well as Greek mythology. Yet, teachers always skipped over that part, and I wanted to know why. I read the stuff on AFF, and did separate research on these and other sexual deviations. It taught me to open my mind to other worlds, and not be so judgemental about people who were different from me. It also taught me the difference between real gays and fictional gays. I used to steer clear of gay people as a kid because that's what society taught me to do. AFF helped me question ths attitude, and once I actually got to know a few gay people, I realized that they can be some of the nicest people in the world.

Even now, AFF keeps provoking me to research sexual deviations, and how they apply to real life. I'm also the type of person who astonishes people by being very open to different concepts, and it shows because I have friends who are nerds, who are shopaholics, and who are goths. I was the only person in my family who supported my cousin marrying a white Protestant, and managed to bring everyone else around by bringing up our own history (Aryan/Dravidian, Hindu/Muslim). I had this information a long time ago and I'd like to thank the xeno fics I have read.

It looks like I'm babbling a little too much here, and getting a bit too deep, so let's wrap up this post. I first visited AFF when I was 13, but I didn't participate actively until I was 18. I realize that it was illegal, but I don't regret it. I've made my confession, and if I had a second choice, I'd click on the "Yes" button at that tender age all over again. Why? Because despite what popular belief is, this site helped me grow up in a positive way, and I don't think I would be quite as happy with the adult I would have become if I had chosen to be a good girl and turn back at my own peril.

[Guest Nympho]

I grew up in a very religious household, so sex ws a subject I knew very little of. We didn't even get internet until I was 15 so I didn't actually find AFF until I was legal, but by that time I was already reading through several sites. I was in summer school, I was fourteen and very naive (I didn't even know what a vibrator was), and I was obsessed with Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I found a Buffy/Spike fic and blushed so red that one of the guys near me thought I had heatstroke. After avoiding those sites for a few days curiosity got the better of me and I hopped back on. This time I found a Xander/Giles fic. Now that really made me blush red! I didn't even know it was possible for guys to do that. After a few of these sites I stumbled onto FF.net and got completely addicted. Everything about sex my mom wouldn't tell me (basically everything besides not doing it before marriage) was there.

A few years down the road and I'm not only reading it, I'm writing it. I found AFF.net through an author page and the rest is history.

[Guest Evil_Labs]

You know, I don't honestly remember when I was underaged that long ago. I do know that this site didn't exist, though, so I didn't come here. haha

It's all really like a no-win situation. You're not right if you keep it under wraps, and it's not right if you flaunt it. You're really just... not supposed to be here.

One thing I think that fans the whole problem is that, while some teens are remarkably mature, there are definitely changes you go through as you get older. It's hard to really explain properly, but you do start to think a bit differently. Maybe you just get a bit wiser. It's not something that minors understand happens, and I think it goes a long way towards the stupid things almost all of us do when we're teenagers and think we're so brilliant.

[Guest Jackie_Boi]

Yano, Melody Fate started a thread similar to this. You should check it out. She touches on the things you bring up.

I personally found this site some years ago when I was 15. I was hopelessly addicted to celeb fanfiction and soon moved on to writing it at 17. Before I started writing fanfiction, I wrote orginal stuff over at fictionpress.com when I was like 12 or something and have been writing seriously ever since then. So, the transistion to fanfiction was fairly smooth, altho, I'll admit my first fic was garbage. But, once I wrote a full-fledged story, people gave me tons of praise and so I just kept going.

I got here from just stumbling upon it by searching for some Smallville fics. I had began reading Smallville fanfics at someone's livejournal and once I discovered celebrity fanfiction, it was all she wrote, I was addicted. Nowadays I find myself more wrapped up in my own work than doing actual reading. But, I have read around three VERY lengthy fics and have started reading TONS of WIPs.

So, I guess I got here for pure naughtiness. I do, however, totally understand that what I did was wrong, extremely wrong. The bad thing about it tho was that I wasn't aware exactly how much trouble I could of gotten the site into. Now that I do, I'm totally against minors being here...but that still doesn't change what I did and doesn't make it OK.

[Iggy_lovechild]

I've been vaguely sex-obsessed for as long as I understood what it meant. Honestly, I don't know why. My mom was never open about it, not so much due to any religous revulsion (though I was raised primarily Catholic, we were a rather secular family and as my mom grew older and the world grew more fucked up, she started questioning God a lot) but due to...Maybe she never thought it mattered? I never got the proper birds-and-bees toalk and learned about sex through school and books.

I must confess, I was writing smutty fanfiction before I knew about sites that catered to such things. I was 13, it was "Star Wars", I'm sure it was awful.

When i was around 16, I finally discovered the internet and through randomly surfing for "X-files" websites, I discovered a privately run fanfiction site catering to the Mulder/Scully pairing that included smut as well as tamer fics. Naturally, I was more interested in the erotica. I recall posting a few fics there as well; I think I was 17. No one asked any questions about age.

By the time I got seriously into fanfiction, I think I was legal. Good thing too since I was obsessively writing Arthur/Curt slash for the "Velvet Goldmine" fandom.

As for AFF, I didn't even know about the site until recently and I'm quite legal now.

[Madame Manga]

I'm so glad that AFF (and the Net) didn't exist yet when I was 13, because if it had, the disjointed Mary Sue crap I was scribbling on school notebook paper might now be immortalized FOR ALL ETERNITY, or at least until the immolation of the earth. *shudder*

Think of the future, young ficcers! I am your sadder, wiser, older self traveling back in time to give you fair warning! When prospective employers or dates are in the picture and checking you out for character references, Super-Google-Plex-2021 will be able to tell them exactly what's in your refrigerator and medicine cabinet, report the last time you took a shower or flossed your teeth, and scroll out every post and email you've typed under every screen name back to the beginning of time. You should at least be able to confront your past without having to explain the BDSM/bestiality kick you indulged in at some appallingly tender age...

MM

[Iggy_lovechild]

Oh gods what a horrible thought! And I'm thinking this because I co-wrote "When Arthur Comes" *twitches* Bad, bad pwp. Thanksfully, I had been 18 at that point, but the quality! The horror!

*feels ill*

[englishwitch]

Mostly i was horny. Plus i wanted to really see what the internet had to offer.

I was sixteen when i first found AFF and became an avid reader. the fact it was forbidden, by parents and the site since i was under 18 made it all the more exciting. the whole rebelling thing.

The first time i found AFF was when i was using a school computer. they had very strict security measures that prevented any porn sites being loaded up, so a little game for me was to see how i could get around all of this, what could i find that could get around their security system because they didn't think to proof agaisnt it? i did a google search on Adult Stories and eventually found my way here. i had never really known about fanfiction until that moment.

by the time i got it into my head to actually write for AFF i was legal.

[Guest Melody Fate]

They didn't even have the net when I was underage. They didn't even have the net for the general public until I was well over the age of 18, so I lucked out there.

Because let me tell you, had this site been around when I was a kid, I would have gotten on. And I would have not been caught, you know why? Because I would have found everyone who got caught and everyone who managed not to get caught who came back later to say, "Yeah, I was on as a minor, but I got away with it because I did ______ and I didn't do ______" and I would have learned from the ones who got away with it, and learned what not to do from the ones who got caught. I was a dumbass, but I wasn't so dumb when it came to pulling one over on people. Besides, being a teenager made it easier. Everyone thought me and my friends were dumb teenagers, we never would have caught on! Oh, how wrong.

I'd like to think that I would have been a bigger person and if I'd known the trouble I could get AFF into by being here as a minor, that I would have turned away, but, the other day an old friend reminded me of how we used to know a liquor store that if this one old, half blind clerk was on, he'd sell us beer before we were eighteen then later, 21. (drinking age changed)

We took advantage of that guy big time. And we all darned well knew if we were caught, he'd be the one in the biggest trouble. We didn't care. We just wanted to do what we wanted to do and to hell with anyone else. If we'd been asked, "Why do you want to get an old man in trouble?" We would have responded with, "Well, if he's too old to really check our ID's then that's his problem not mine."

In a way we would have been right, the law said we were dumbass kids, we can't be responsible for what we were doing. Yeah, we would have been slapped on the wrist, had some probation, a little community service, but all that would have been cleaned up and thrown away before we turned eighteen, because kids will be kids and we don't want to ruin their chances at a decent future, all over teenage high spirits.

Of course some might say the old blind guy was a victim, but hey, his fault. If he didn't want to break the law, he shouldn't have been selling beer. What? Wait, he wanted to not break the law, but he wasn't always thinking too clearly and we kids were way too clever for him? Hey, that was his tough luck, not ours.

And I was not an asshole teenager. I worked for a vets office part time, I volunteered in a nursing home, I was known for being compasionate and understanding to a fault. But if I wanted to kick up my heels, I wanted to kick up my heels and I really didn't care if someone else had to pay the price for my "fun."

I might have cared had we been caught and this guy been forced to pay for our crimes, but by then it would have been too late. Oh yes, and we did learn about this guy being unable to really read ID's or tell when they'd been falsified from hearing my friends brother and his friends talk about how they used to buy beer from the old guy before they were legally old enough. They thought we weren't paying attention.

So, I know for fact that I would have been all over this place as a minor. AFF wouldn't have caught me, I was smart enough for that. My parents might have caught me, but they wouldn't have been too mad at me. Madder at AFF for not doing their job, which was to catch me and stop me. Yeah, makes no sense to me either, but that's the way it would have been.

[ZombieDuke]

I found Aff.net when FF.net kicked all of the adult material off of its site, hell, I even joined the e-chain to have all the adult fics stay. I had been reading fanfics for years before this site(and ff.net) was even created. I was reading adult based stories when The Sakura Lemon website, The Grey Archive, and L&A Romance were first created.

I wasn't a minor when this site was made(I don't think so at least), but I made alot of shitty mistakes when I was one, and god I regret them.

[Guest Twisted Daydream]

Yes, I was 17 when I discovered Aff, and I don't really regret it.

Don't take it the wrong way, I do know that Aff would have been is some trouble had they found out.

I also know that I wasn't stupid at 17. I Kept my stories straight, and would constantly use different guest names so as not to stir suspision. Above all, I would never actually join (till I was 18). Post lots of requests for my childish fantasies, but never actually join.

Truthfully, I needed this. Porn was tough to get, what with the whole ID thing, And online I would allways need a credit card - Not easy to fake.

With this, I was actually capable of exploring my... warped sexuality, and even venting it.

Now I hope to improve my storytelling ability with this site.

I owe you a lot, Aff!

[Guest DarkAvenger]

I was 22 when I found my way here, lol. Thus, not a minor. *hurray for me*

But, I did do regretable things concerning porn sites when I was 16. All those "I am over 18" buttons never stopped me. Why? Because I wanted to see what other real people looked like. (Yeah, yeah, photo-manipulated pictures, blah, blah, blah. Like I cared at that point! lol) I'd heard about sex till I was blue in the face, all I wanted to do was SEE it, just once.

... the sad part... all of this started because of one google search gone wrong. I was doing my decades project for my US history class and googled marilyn monroe. Next thing I know, I've clicked a link and am staring at naked pictures of Marilyn all over my desktop. I think I almost had a heart attack. (See, I was very much a prude at that point in my life. And, no, I'm not joking!) And to make matters worse, my dad walked in before I could get the windows shut and started laughing at me because he knew what had happened. (I had no idea Marilyn Monroe ever did anything racier than her little "oops my skirt" picture over the venting grates. @_@ I certainly do now though!) Anyway, my dad never told me it was "wrong" or "illegal", though in the back of my mind I knew it was "dirty" and "not right".

Months later, when I was presented with a flashing green sign that said "I leagally affirm that I am over the age of 18", I became well aware of the fact that some law or other "thought it knew best". What did I think the penalties for breaking that law were? A slap on the wrist, a scolding from someone for me, and my parents told what I was looking at. That's it. That's exactly what I thought would happen. Did that stop me? HELL NO.

Now, on the other hand, had I been told that the site would be held responsible, that the owners of that site could be fined or go to jail, I wouldn't have ever clicked that button and lied.

I was 100% willing to put myself on the line, but I never ever would have dreamed of endangering someone else with my actions. Granted, I'm not among the majority on that, but others like me do exist, proven by the letters from underagers freaking out and saying sorry four million times and then further proven by the fact that those underagers do not return until they are of age. Those minors... those are the ones that manage to make me keep what little faith I have in minors these days. Those are the ones I wish to god someone had told them the consequences of the law before they ever made it here.

I think most people regard a law like this as something akin to driving 5 miles over the speed limit... acceptable until you're the only one doing it and the cop is right behind you... heh. Once you are that one and that cop is behind you and the lights go off... you learn, trust me. >.> *knows from experience* There's consequences to that and there's consequences to breaking this law too. Only, in this case, the fines are a hell of a lot more and there's possible jail time and none of that ends up on the person's head who's breaking the law... frankly, it should. It's a law, they're breaking it, not us. *shrug* I guess law-enforcement doesn't see it that way... such is life I suppose, ne?

(Is NOW going to bed... at 4:30am... I swear, I'm going this time! Really! I am!) *runs off*