SereneLies Posted June 26, 2009 Report Share Posted June 26, 2009 The following euphemisms I would never use unless I wanted people to have a good laugh. I don't know about you guys but there are some pretty ridiculous ones, in my opinion: Manroot Bathtub Eel Bearded blood sausage Bush Beater Carnal Stump Dart of Love Holy Porker Jack-in-the-box one-eyed snake love gun love muscle meat whistle rod of love cookie furburger pickle slicer meat grinder muff prick purse quim lotus flower XD this isn't all of them and these are only for the genatalia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clockwork_Knight Posted July 9, 2009 Report Share Posted July 9, 2009 Cockzilla Butt oink Man pussy Boy pussy nut-swing Rose-Gold Warrior Primed with battle-juice his phallic erection stated boldly Her orgasm left her shaken like a wet kitten labyrinth manly poker Man poker Woman poker fat sexual slug cunt gnomes bird's-nest Ejaculoid small perk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SereneLies Posted July 9, 2009 Author Report Share Posted July 9, 2009 his phallic erection stated boldlyHer orgasm left her shaken like a wet kitten fat sexual slug cunt gnomes What the hell? O.o I have to admit the attention grabber in this list for me was "Her orgasm left her shaken like a wet kitten". Not sexy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silvyraven Posted July 10, 2009 Report Share Posted July 10, 2009 Fuckpole Twat waffle Cuntaculous Pusslicious Cockmeats "His mighty meat waved in front of him like a hand saying hello." "Her fluids poured out of her twat, splashing onto the floor beneath them." (now I have no problem with wet sex but this one makes me chuckle.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MorbidFantasy Posted July 20, 2009 Report Share Posted July 20, 2009 urge for sex...faaaading... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SereneLies Posted July 20, 2009 Author Report Share Posted July 20, 2009 LOL how terrible would it to be to think like that in regards to sex all the time..... Woman's thoughts: Oh, I want his hot, throbbing dart of love inside me *fantasy cracked, reality restored* Holy Crap that would suck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
windofthenorth Posted July 20, 2009 Report Share Posted July 20, 2009 It's curious how thinks like "meat whistle" and "prick purse" are too much, but the opposite words on the scale, "penis" and "vagina", often dampen the mood as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LuciferxDamien Posted July 20, 2009 Report Share Posted July 20, 2009 (edited) o.O Wooow...I wouldn't even use those terms when I'm trying to be ridiculous and funny while describing something sexual to a friend...Those are terms you'd use to get someone away from you in a fast hurry while in bar or something... Man or woman, gay or straight...Who would say 'I want your love gun inside me!'? Cause that's just one place you really want to have a gun... >.> Especially one that's loaded! *Rolls around laughing* Ah...Couldn't resist. I think the biggest turn off for me is 'Bearded blood sausage'. I...don't like beards...Ew. And what's with the cookie?! And...And...GNOMES!!! *Wails horribly, the twitches uncontrollably* I DESPISE GNOMES!!! Who the fuck wants a gnome to describe their sexual parts?! I could go on and say something absolutely ridiculous for each those...terms, but I'll just add to the list instead: Fudge-packer. Yeah, that's REAL attractive. Cherry Picker Meat Muffin Dragon (Seriously?) Sword - That seems to be a favorite... Rose-plucker Donut hole (What is it with sex and the need to use food terms?!) Missile - Another object you sooooooooo want in your whatever. Pearl Oyster Clam Shell Clam Digger - o.O Weed-whacker - Yet another o.O V-Jay Jay And my all time favorite for penis isss! Peenee! I actually do use that, but not in writing. Peenee is just fun to say. The next time you see a picture that doesn't deliver the nudely goods, you can say 'Aww...I wanted to see his peenee!' You know you want to! I think the simpler the term, the better. My favorites are cock, dick, member, and manhood. Since I write yaoi mostly, I usually use cock for the top and dick for the bottom. Though I prefer cock over dick, only because dick has the 'You're being a dick, shut up,' implications. I mean, who says 'You're being a cock, shut up'? XD I'm so going to use that now. Edited July 20, 2009 by LuciferxDamien Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss_Lizbet Posted July 24, 2009 Report Share Posted July 24, 2009 I'm a pretty big fan of "cockstand" (sarcastically, of course). For the purveyor of Victorian-era erotica, this fine barely-a-euphemism is immediately familiar, as it used to be employed with the same frequency that we use "cock" nowadays. Unfortunately, though, a lot of contemporary romance novel authors have picked it up and tossed its ass back into literary play, as it were. Which is too bad, because it is so very unsexy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Supersonic Bitch Posted August 8, 2009 Report Share Posted August 8, 2009 Great. Just great. I have to bleach my brain or I'm never, ever in my life able to write pr0n again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest jj19 Posted August 8, 2009 Report Share Posted August 8, 2009 Dong, Pud, Wang, Schlong, Manstick, Cockstick, Fuckstick Poon, Cooter, Twat, Snatch, Fuckhole, Villie Jillie Udders, Funbags, Jumblies (Jubblies), Melons, Hoo-Hoos Poop-chute, Hershey Highway, Shit hole, Fudge Factory, Starfish, Rosebud Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest firsttaste Posted August 10, 2009 Report Share Posted August 10, 2009 Man or woman, gay or straight...Who would say 'I want your love gun inside me!'? Cause that's just one place you really want to have a gun... >.> Especially one that's loaded! *Rolls around laughing* Ah...Couldn't resist. You know, I read some yaoi doujinshi where... *cough* Nevermind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LuciferxDamien Posted August 11, 2009 Report Share Posted August 11, 2009 You know, I read some yaoi doujinshi where...*cough* Nevermind. =)) Yeah...You're not the only one. XD *Hides stack of yaoi gun pr0nz* Still! Unless you're something other than human...Not a great place to have a gun off. >.> Ah...You're making me want to go snuff out some gun!kink pr0nz. XXD Thanks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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