Keith Inc. Posted November 10, 2008 Report Posted November 10, 2008 Okay, okay, okay. So, like, all of Mankind are God's children, right? And Jesus is God's son, right? Only begotten? So, Mary was Jesus' sister. And, like, When God begot Jesus on Mary, Mary was his daughter. So God's Daughter's Kid, Jesus, would be God's grandkid. As a Trinity, Jesus is his own Father, Grandfather, Son and Grandson. Mary is Jesus' Mother, Sister, Daughter and out-of-wedlock mate. I tried to graph it but my geneology software shut down the computer. Quote
DarkInuLord Posted November 10, 2008 Report Posted November 10, 2008 Everybody is fucking their own sister/brother. According to the bible. We're all inbred, or, at least Christians are... Which would explain a lot. (No offense to christians.) Quote
shinigamiinochi Posted November 10, 2008 Report Posted November 10, 2008 According to the Bible, it is perfectly acceptable, and is infact normal and something that you should do, sell your daughters into slavery. On the other side, there are several accepted, possible homosexual relationships in the bible, so I don't know what these religious opponents of homosexuality are getting so riled up about. Quote
foeofthelance Posted November 13, 2008 Report Posted November 13, 2008 Old Testament or New? Most of the religious right likes to base their claims on the new, but their attitudes on the Old, which can be kinda screwy. And Keith, seriously? You actually tried to have the computer plot the Bible's genealogy? How did it handle Cain and Able? Quote
Keith Inc. Posted November 14, 2008 Author Report Posted November 14, 2008 And Keith, seriously? You actually tried to have the computer plot the Bible's genealogy? How did it handle Cain and Able? No, just the God, Jesus, Mary little loop things. Quote
shinigamiinochi Posted November 14, 2008 Report Posted November 14, 2008 Old Testament or New? Most of the religious right likes to base their claims on the new, but their attitudes on the Old, which can be kinda screwy.And Keith, seriously? You actually tried to have the computer plot the Bible's genealogy? How did it handle Cain and Able? Mostly new. I think most of them are in Ruth, Daniel, and Samuel. Quote
foeofthelance Posted November 15, 2008 Report Posted November 15, 2008 Wouldn't surprise me. The Bible itself is a screwy read, until you realize that there are large portions of it missing. There are some good morals in there, but once you get away from the prophets and more into the people who were supposed to be acting under the Will without any actually voice for it, eh. Quote
Supersonic Bitch Posted May 19, 2009 Report Posted May 19, 2009 In the beginning, God created Adam and Steve and they had HAWT gay sex. Meanwhile Satan (who, of course is not opposite of God but a part of God as much as God is part of Satan, because losing the unity and create opposites is a sure way to lose any chance of enlightment) ...okay, back to the Genesis: created Lilith and Internet, the latter being full of Anonymous who are a Legion. Lilith watched Adam and Steve fucking each other and wrote a story about that and posted it on Internet and thus was born SLASH. The Anonymous who are a Legion, were formerly there only for LULZ, but now they are there now also for pr0n as Lilith is a very talented writer. After that God created Eve who also watched Adam and Steve having HAWT gay sex and wrote a story about that. However, as Eve was a lesser being, she inserted herself in the story and thus was born Mary Sue. God/Satan were considering to send Eve to the land of Nod because of her bad fanfiction but as Lilith, being a benign soul, informed Satan/God about some interesting possibilities, the Divine decided to give Eve one final chance. The Anonymous (who, as you know, are a Legion) rightfully bashed Eve because of her lousy fanfiction, and so Adam decided to give Eve a sympathy fuck. As this happened in a galaxy far far away, Eve gave birth to a son named Luke and Adam changed his name to Anakin Skywalker. When Luke was twelve, he had HAWT gay sex with Anakin, Lilith wrote a fanfic about that and thus was born Skywalkercest. Quote
Psychostorm Posted May 27, 2009 Report Posted May 27, 2009 In the beginning, God created Adam and Steve and they had HAWT gay sex. Meanwhile Satan (who, of course is not opposite of God but a part of God as much as God is part of Satan, because losing the unity and create opposites is a sure way to lose any chance of enlightment) ...okay, back to the Genesis: created Lilith and Internet, the latter being full of Anonymous who are a Legion. Lilith watched Adam and Steve fucking each other and wrote a story about that and posted it on Internet and thus was born SLASH. The Anonymous who are a Legion, were formerly there only for LULZ, but now they are there now also for pr0n as Lilith is a very talented writer. After that God created Eve who also watched Adam and Steve having HAWT gay sex and wrote a story about that. However, as Eve was a lesser being, she inserted herself in the story and thus was born Mary Sue. God/Satan were considering to send Eve to the land of Nod because of her bad fanfiction but as Lilith, being a benign soul, informed Satan/God about some interesting possibilities, the Divine decided to give Eve one final chance. The Anonymous (who, as you know, are a Legion) rightfully bashed Eve because of her lousy fanfiction, and so Adam decided to give Eve a sympathy fuck. As this happened in a galaxy far far away, Eve gave birth to a son named Luke and Adam changed his name to Anakin Skywalker. When Luke was twelve, he had HAWT gay sex with Anakin, Lilith wrote a fanfic about that and thus was born Skywalkercest. That's a bible I could actually find some entertainment in. And every one decending from Adam and Eve in the real bible is bullshit if you know any thing about genetics. If you guys want to know more about how harmful a shallow gene pool can be go look up how the cheetah's gene pool got totally fucked when they nearly went extinct and now their genetics are fucked up seriously. And that wasn't even with them being reduced to 2 cheetahs but several hundred, so you can see how fucked the human gene pool would be if we came from two people. Quote
Velvet D Coolette Posted September 10, 2009 Report Posted September 10, 2009 Everybody is fucking their own sister/brother.According to the bible. We're all inbred, or, at least Christians are... Which would explain a lot. (No offense to christians.) Well, as The Adams Family song goes, Your sister is your mother, Your father is your brother, You all fuck one another, The Bible family. Quote
Ryder Posted September 10, 2009 Report Posted September 10, 2009 The bible is full of shit and there's only one place for the one I had when I was a kid. I chucked it in the fire place where it belongs. Quote
JayDee Posted September 10, 2009 Report Posted September 10, 2009 Book burning eh? So, what else do you have in common with the fundies? Quote
Ryder Posted September 11, 2009 Report Posted September 11, 2009 (edited) I don't burn proper books, just the only bible I will ever own. Edited September 11, 2009 by ausyandy Quote
Animedevildog Posted November 30, 2009 Report Posted November 30, 2009 OMG! This topic is a fuckin RIOT!!! Quote
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