Anonymous_Nanotyrannus

O: Oviposition

M: Menstruation

Someone say my name? Zyx?

K: Kleptomania I heard some people get an orgasm from it *shrugs*

I: Ice play

G: Gangbang

Kneed

Because watching angry person attempting not to smile is funny. Why?

E: Emetophilia

But it sounds like a really cool, sentence enhancing word such as culpability and spontaneous.

If my parents found out by what I meant by freelancing my artistic services for RPGers was actually me selling furry porn, I'd be a bigger joke at family gatherings than my jailbait stoned cousin.

Burple: A pimple so sore it looks like a bruise.

Not guilty. G/NG: Ever stick a booger on a pet?

I'm four years out of a high school located in a town I describe as a northern version of Deliverence. The people I went to school with were complete idiots. I graduated in 2004 BTW. Sex education was hysterical. Boys didn't know that a vagina was a called a "vagina". Two girls actually got into a screaming fight because one claimed her birth control pills protected her against STDs. And then the teacher got involved and the girl still insisted her pills protected her against STDs. We didn't talk about girly parts or what happens to girls because it was "too gross and too dirty". Just a lot of discussions about the penis. We're a very, very phallo-centric society. I think we should ask random people on the street what they think about vaginas and how they work. I think the results would be way, way scarier.

I'm glad for deli fresh slices of Muenster cheese and my mother's tired voice on the other end of the phone.

7112

I am wondering what I had eaten to give me such bad cramps and longing for items both tangible and intangible.

Fry's Opera from the last episode of Futurama, "The Devil's Hands are Idle Play Things". If you want a band song, it would be "Bad Idea" by Lemon Demon.

I have never watched Titanic.

Labratory

Mutation

*SIGH* If this guy wins this case, which he won't, this will open up a giant can of worms. Some particular batshit crazy church goers will use this case as a reason to sue people who they claim has caused them emotional distress. I do believe, honestly, that JK Rowling has been sued before on similiar grounds... This guy isn't helping his cause any by playing the stereotypical can't take a hit flamer. Was he raised in a cage most of his life where he didn't see this racist bullshit? It's time to toughen up and build character and fight against this sort of shit instead of whining about it and taking it to court.

Oh god, those things from the Tawain Rivers. They're another reason I have an absolute fear of parasites. Surnam (surinam?) Toads I think is what they're called... I went to the Baltimore aquarium a few years back and they had one of those things in a tank. They're huge. It's like an amphibian version of those card people from Alice in Wonderland.

The Amish

To anyone who works with the elderly who always manages to be cheerful, who always manages to remain calm, who never becomes annoyed or angry I salute you and you are a saint and deserve medals. For nearly two and half months I've worked as both an aid and a housekeeper at a personal care home. I came with exceptations that will be depressed people, that there will be angry people, that there will be people with bowel problems, that there will be people with mental problems. That delusion was shattered quickly with in the first month. For every person who needed my help there was 5 or 6 capable residents who wanted help and were not beyond screaming and harassing fellow residents and aids to get their way. I would much, much rather work with convicts than work with the elderly. These people are bullies, jerks, and assholes. Most of these people are not war veterans, they're too young to have lived through the depression. These people are just lazy and demand respect they've never truly earned. Most of these people are in homes because no one can put up with them. I've officially given up on respect for the elders. I will not respect someone who immediately gives me disrespect. I'm not expecting respect right off the bat, but I am the one cleaning the toilet, changing the adult diaper, cleaning the shit off the bed all calmly with a smile. To the residents: Calling me a "retard" for not putting all six layers of blankets you had on your bed in the proper order for the first time I ever made your bed will not get any respect for me, nor will it make me willing to help you the moment you want help. I really don't give a fuck you've been making beds for 17 years, I've only been doing it for six days. Do not get angry with me because I couldn't help you immediately. An alarm was going off in the restroom of a mentally handicapped woman's whose hoarder roommate had stolen the toilet paper again. Calling me into your room when obviously nothing is wrong or amist while I'm running down the hallway towards a loud flashing light is ignorant. You KNOW I have other more immediate issues to take care of. You couldn't even tell me what you wanted, and you kept lying while I attempted to help you. You want your shoes changed? Okay, where the pair shoes you want to change into? What the shoes you have now are on the wrong feet? No they're not, but now you want me to change the legs of your wheelchair...what you don't want that? What the fuck do you want? This is the second time you've called me into your room and had me running because you couldn't tell me what you wanted. Don't get angry at me because I walked out. I was housekeeping that day, I wasn't even supposed to help you. I have other things to do, and my outfit told you I was housekeeping. You do not have dementia which would be excusable. You're just ignorant as the supervisor told me after I alerted her that I wasn't sure what you wanted, and that you needed help. As I tried to make sure you got the appropiate help from people who have been working with you longer, it turns out you're just a jackass. You are all 1 of between 33 and 36 people living at the facility. On average there is two nurses, an aid, a housekeeper, and cook on duty in the morning. Hours have been cut so we have less people to tend to you. Take a number, we'll get to you depending on the severity of your situation. The 90+ man with Parkinsons who needs help going the restroom is more important at the moment than "The Price is Right". You can wait two minutes for us to come in and use the remote. The toilet and the garbage cans are not Rubick's Cubes. Hold down the latch for a few seconds to flush and throw away the trash. You people are the ones creating the unsanitary conditions. We are not responsible for the flies or the smells. We cannot go around every five minutes and check all 20 something bathrooms to flush toilets and pick up diapers and toilet paper you, the unhandicapped majority, threw on the floor. Even though I am the housekeeper now too, I don't have time for that. My hours have been cut from 8 1/2 to 6 even. On the subject of bathrooms, stop being so fucking territorial when I'm attempting to clean them. There's extra bathrooms; one in the dining room, one big one in each hallway, and one in the library--four bathrooms. When I'm cleaning your bathroom, stay the fuck out. Screaming at me and ordering me to leave so you can go to the restroom only hurts you, because I won't have the time to clean your bathroom later. Live happily in your own filth. Oh yes, to the person who does this, I have reported you for harassment. You seem to have no problem using the big restroom and the dining room restroom, which I have seen you use multiple times, yet why do you suddenly rush down to your bathroom when I'm cleaning it and scream at me? Also, why do you seem to do this when I'm trying to clean the big restroom, and stay in there for 20 minutes? Neither your roommate nor the resident in the room next to you who you share the personal bathroom with were in their rooms that day, they were both down the hall at breakfast when you suddenly rushed into the big restroom as I moved stuff out to clean it. On the second thought, why did you use the dining room restroom, which is much closer than the big restroom? You also have nothing wrong with you other than being a chronic dick. And stop lying about me not giving you toilet paper when you ask. You never approach me to ask me, and I don't have the time to go around and check the restrooms to make sure everyone has toilet paper anymore. Only one person is allowed to rush into the restrooms when I'm cleaning. She has dementia, and as a result of that has anger issues. She has an excuse and I have changed my cleaning schedule to clean her restroom when she's not in the room. Even then I rush in like a green beret and rush out like a bat out of hell. Stay the hell out of the rooms when I have to good housekeeping clean them. You people shed skin flakes like cats shed hairs. Your rooms need cleaned at least once a week. Hardcore cleaned. When I ask you to leave, I expect you to listen. I'm being polite, and I'm working super hard to make sure your rooms are super clean when you come back. I tell you what I have to do. I move the furniture, I wash the windows, and I polish everything and I sweep twice. There will be fumes and there will be large pieces of furniture getting moved about I need you out, got that? Considering all that most of you do is lay on your stomachs and sleep, fumes are bad for you lungs, okay? I AM NOT ALLOWED TO GIVE YOU YOUR MEDICATION. I am a nurse's aid. Not a registered nurse. It's even more inappropiate to ask me that question when I'm pushing a cart with a mop and bucket on it. Stop bullying the mentally handicapped woman, the man with parkinsons, and the man paralyzed on one side of his body. It's sad, it's disgusting that the ones who know better are the ones acting like kids. To the lazy fat guy, I don't like you at all. I don't like talking to you or even being the same room with you. I don't even like being in view of you. Stop staring, stop trying to get me in positions where I'm sandwiched between you and a wall or table. I know what you're up to, so all your attempts have failed. You are disgusting, you are the reason I have lost 30lbs in about 2 1/2 months. Thanks to your smell, your chronic masturbation, your general appearance of a grapefruit with legs dangling off of it I've thrown up so often I've just stopped packing a lunch knowing full well I'd throw it up right after I change you. Any pleasure I've had in eating, has been completely lost. You do not weight 247lbs. That was just the number on the scale when you broke it. You weigh at least 400lbs, and you're still growing. You've outgrown at least one wheelchair since I've been here. You did not have termites in your brick walls, they were ants. Ants that were attracted to the food you were throwing underneath your bed because you were too fucking lazy to wheel yourself down to the foot of the bed and throw your left overs into the garbage can. You can sit up, you can move around. I have seen you wheel yourself quickly over to breakfast table to stuff yourself full of fruit. You can use a remote, you can reach across a table, and you masturbate a lot, none of this "I'm too weak" to hold onto the handlebars of the lift. You're capable, stop being a lazy fuck. I have personally met Germans who were in less denile than you. End note: I like my job. I don't mind the shit, the piss, the vomit, and the soiled adult briefs. I don't mind being called into someone's bathroom to help them out. Honestly, I can laugh. It's a learning experience, and I'm proud I can do it, I'm proud I've lasted this long, and I'm proud that for once, I feel confident. Okay, I never really thought I'd ever end up wiping someone else's ass, but bleh life is unexpected. I don't mind the fact I have to clean toilets and sweep floors for six hours a day. I don't mind it when I'm doing it for the people who need it, the people who geniunely need it, and I don't even mind the occasional accidents that happens to the best of us. And I'm quick to pick up when someone is depressed, embarassed, or angered, so I'm careful and understanding. But the fact is, you, the lazy, piggish majority, make it hell. 2nd End Note: While writing this a friend came down and visited and put me in a good mood, but I'm posting it anyway, because I've been ranting for about two hours. Yeah sorry.