I think, glancing over everyone elses replies, mine has a little bit of eatch, but I'm still gonna say what I have to say on this.
First off, immediately trying to redeem yourself over a subject before you basj it doesn't make the fac that you're bashng it, any better. If you're going to complain about something--especially something as politcally racial as homosexuality--in whatever form--go all the way man, you might as well, you've already dug the hole--you need to sleep in it too.
Second, I think we also need to get a few of our facts straight here; 1) Yaoi or slash is written for the same reason as any other genre is written: for pleasure and to bring our fantasies to life. Like you said. Though it's not just written with the same excuse men give or just by women. Everyone is equally guilty of writing yaoi and slash, reguardless of sex.
2) It doesn't matter what genre (again) a story is written in. If the story sucks, it sucks. Period. I don't care if it's straight fiction, yaoi, yuri, porn, fluff, whatever; if someone can't write for the shit, the story is a failure. But there are also equally well written stories out there as well--you just have to look for them. Perhaps you've just been subjected to all the crap; try taking your time to actually sift through the shit that's out there. No matter if it's yaoi or not.
3) Once again, going back to that fantasy being fulfilled thing; gay, straight, bi, whatever, that charaters are put into situations that they would never normally be put into BECAUSE that would never happen. If it makes the author happy to see the straightest guy in the world molest the gayest guy ever--let them do it. I've seen worse--believe me. And if the pairing is awful, or the ideas are just completely illogical and impossible and awful to read, that once again goes back to the author just being a shitty writer. Or inexperienced, whatever.
4) Once again, I will be reiterating myself here: Women aren't the only yaoi authors here!! Quit pointing the finger at only one guilty party.
5) Are you even looking in the correct place for the stories you want to read? I mean, okay, I guess it's understandable that some people are idiots and are incapable of placing the proper tags on their fics so yaoi, yuri, straight and anything in between gets mixed on the man pages of the sections and sometimes into the actual designated space for specific themes... and there's really no way to avoide those, then of course you're going to run across stuff you don't want to read but... if you go into the properly designated section, i.e. yaoi, yuri, specific pairings, etc., then you really shouldn't have that kind of a problem--to the extent that you're ranting and raving about. Unless you're one of those people that close their eyes and randomly click then just happen to fall into the BDSM "butt-plugs" sections, read the fic anyway--even though it wasn't what you wanted in the first place--KEEP reading then proceed to bitch and rant about how awful the story was.... Well then I guess that would make more sense. After all, your hand must have been forced by the Yaoi Satan, right?
6) YAOI is not ruining fanfiction--bad writing and inproper planning and retarded 13 year olds are ruining fanfiction. Choose your words wisely here.
7) There is also a reason for why more yaoi and sexually explicit fic--of any nature-- can be found on here... One abbreviation: FF.net.
8) Once again, what section are you crawing around in? I know there are M/F fics on here, I've seen them. But that's because I'm adventurous and like to stray away from my precious yaoi every once in a while....
Finally, I may just be delusional here but... *checks* Nope, I'm defnitelly a chick... I write yaoi and het and I happen to think I'm pretty good at both. I'm a feminist and I believe women should have as much power and praise and men get. But that doesn't stop me from loving and writing yaoi.
I personally write yaoi and feel the way I do about it because I'm a woman and feel the way I do about feminism. I want to see men in the same situations as women; reverse the rolls and show that men can be just as victimized and "weak" as women are portreyed. Once agian, reiterating myself; people write their fantasies to bring them to life in a way they never could.
Do you know the exact reasoning and theory behind slash and yaoi in Japan? Women created it because they wanted to show relationships that were actually meaningful and filled with love--to show what a loving and comforting relationship--sexual or not could be like, unlike those that the men created where the women were always being raped and crying and always being tortured and the relationships were always onesided. And that, as with anything else popular bloomed into the fanfiction you see everywhere--there's good and bad.
Perhaps next time you wish to bash something like yaoi, you might want to be a little more objective and less personal about it, do your research, your arguments may hold more sway.