(Soemele)
It's strange but I understand where you are coming from on this. Sometimes the character just screams out "hurt me, pleaseā - probably because that is the only way they can come into their own.
Now that's not to say that I like some of the characters I've killed off - it's just that they serve their purpose in taking another character to where they need to be. I will hurt a character I love if it furthers the story, though sometimes I will jump through flaming hoops to try and find another way. I'm that way in life when it comes to my family. I know that everyone must have some pain in their lives to make them who they are destined to be, but that doesn't stop me from trying to soften the blow.
Snuff fics are a way to an end, sometimes fun to read, and almost always gives you more depth to the character.