Joe Long

I've said before, I think Rhona is just lonely. She has developed a personality that drives most people away. She can likely get laid whenever she wants (but not from Paul!) but it's impersonal. She wants to be loved. Jessica is similar but different. She's insecure, as she has a very high opinion of herself (maybe her parents were all into self esteem) so she needs people to be telling her how great she is because she really doubts it deep inside. She craves that affirmation, and now Mrs. Locke, who provided a lot of it, is gone. Then that also makes me think of Tara, again a little different. She wants to be loved, but is confusing a physical relationship with an emotional one. She thinks, like many teen girls, that if she puts out for a guy he'll love her in return - but as she's found out most will just use her for their own gratification and be on their way. Now this all makes me appreciate how good of a writer Joe is, to be able to develop these characters.

and I wonder if Joe has fed us a red herring on Belle. Jack knows about the prostitution, all the circumstantial evidence about Belle points that way, so he over thinks it, jumps to conclusions, and when Jack tries to 'rescue' Belle it's, "oh my God, you thought I was a fucking whore? I can't even look at you."

That is quite possible

spoilers Jack should learn to close Kayla's curtains. However, that would become a signal as to what they are doing. I was waiting to see if Tara would kiss Jack. "I'm trying to be good, but I'm just so horny, and then I watch you do your thing" (swallows his tongue). Seriously, I think Tara is getting moist for more than just Arthur, as she remembers what it was like with Jack. Jessica is so insecure. She desperately wants to be wanted, to live up to her own hype. She can stand the idea that Belle might not want to be her friend (again). Mrs. Locke was her crutch, the teacher who indulged her, and Jessica was ready to melt down when suddenly she realized that Mrs. Locke was gone. Yes, we have all the appearances that Belle is working for the ring, even if she doesn't seem thrilled with it. With her leaving - is she going to another part of her school, another school, or meeting someone outside?

and, I didn't bring up the subject for my own glorification, because I know that jashley and bashful are better writers than I am. I want to see them and others do well and have outlets. First I pondered if there might be away for 'amateurs' with good stories to earn some income writing original fiction (erotica or not) and then I saw and later read MW&C, as I was curious how a novel that was also full of graphic descriptions of teens having sex made it to a major publisher, was on Amazon, and had a major studio make a movie out of it (even if it was one of the lowest grossing movies of all time)

Congrats BW. The original stuff I read here, She Is The One, Being More Social and even my own - are on the edge. There's sex, there's teens, but those guys are telling a storing people want people are reading and commenting on in droves. Those two authors are a hell of a lot better than the guy who wrote Men, Women & Children and that book covers the same kind of material. I wondered how MW&C ever made it by an editor in it's published form, simply for the quality of prose. So that actually gives me hope to 1) go back and review what I've written so far 2) finish the damn thing and 3) GO FOR IT. It is also people like you who give me inspiration.

Oh yeah, there's a chapter to read. I need to get off Facebook and Twitter a few hours later...damn! another good chapter

From DG's comments, sounds like they can't mix the two methods on the same site. On to a different direction of being published, a couple weeks ago I watched a movie 'Men, Women & Children' at Amazon, directed by Justin Reitman. I found it because I'm a fan of Kaitlyn Dever, and I was wondering how a movie from a major studio with a decently wide release, and starring Adam Sandler, Jennifer Garner, JK Simmons, Dean Norris and Judy Greer could gross about a half million domestically. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3179568/?ref_=nm_flmg_act_5 Reitman had described the novel it was based on as ''Dark, hilarious, but most of all honest", but I don't think I laughed once during the movie. It was dark, and did take I suppose an honest look at dysfunctional family life. I didn't know who I was supposed to root for - who was the protagonist? who was the antagonist? They were all messed up, to one extent or another. The movie depicted several teenage high school couples (age and grade not mentioned) experimenting with sex, including intercourse under the covers with no nudity show, just bra and panties. I read the free preview of the book on Amazon, where the boy who would get to bang the cheerleader was described as thirteen. That made me curious - in a book described in a review on Amazon as "profoundly pornographic writing", just how much detail was given of thirteen year olds having sex. So I went ahead and spent $10 to get the pdf of the book. First off, the writing is horrible. Five or six times an entire page was filled with dialogue that went, he said, she said, he said, she said, he said, she said - but this got published by Harper. The story is decent, but a big problem is there were too many families - six in the book and five in the movie. Instead of focusing on one family, the author sought to look in at several families, representing a spectrum. It would have done better as a TV series, instead of a 300 page novel or a two hour movie. In the third person omniscient, it was like being a voyeur watching these people for ten weeks, with no real beginning, middle or end. Anyway, there was lots of sex between the 8th graders at the middle school. I suppose it didn't get labeled as porn or erotica, and was published by Harper and filmed by Paramount, because although the story was focused on sex and relationships, the sex wasn't there to tittilate, even with the graphic descriptions of how the thirteen year old boy shoved his cock down the throat of the thirteen year old girl. None of it was good sex, as they all were stumbling along discovering their sexuality as the passed puberty. I bring this all up because it gave me hope that if this could pass as main stream and be successful, there was hope for the stories we've all been reading. jashley and bashful are ten times the writer that Chad Kultgen is, and although their stories (and mine) are explicit, the frequency of the sex is realistic and only presented in the context of teenagers growing up and exploring relationships. We might have a chance to get published and make some money after all. (Now that I have baseball money coming in on Paypal, if i made money from writing I can just tell my wife it was from baseball). One problem is increased visibility might make maintaining our anonymity more difficult.

I understand that. I've watched full length movies of Star Trek fan fiction, including original actors, but as it's fan fiction it has to be done non-profit. It's any idea that I first had over a year ago before coming here, and thought of again as I get more immersed into the community of mainstream amateur writers seeking somewhere to publish (such as those who are in NaNoWriMo). I only made reference to this site in that you have human moderators read the stories.

This is just a concept in my mind right now. There could be people assigned to read the stories, as is done here. That could be pre-screening them to at least make sure they're serious attempts at literature and/or after posting have the system flag stories with few reads and/or lower reader ratings for human review. I would like the market to work as much as possible, with the readers deciding what's good and regarding the authors, but there's always chance for abuse like what happened on the blue site. The only thing we demand is quality! (and you've never disappointed us). I'm assuming you got snowed in and that gave you some time to write. I'm catching up on my own projects, but haven't gotten down to OTA.

Well, something could be Amanda jumping Alan, like she tied up Jack and gave him a BJ the year before - except now she's much more likely to be caught. Or Amanda being with a girl, like Helena maybe, and Mr. and Mrs. Harrison trying to deal with that.

Hey, real life has priority over us. I was thinking again of what it might take to start a subscription site for 'amateur' authors to publish and get some money in return. I mentioned it last year at the blue site, and it was pointed out many readers wouldn't want their credit card associated with an erotic site. I understand that, but was thinking with ALL the people looking to get published and not everyone can get on Amazon, that a site could host stories of all kinds, with erotic being a tag used by some stories. I was thinking 1 or 2 cents to read a thousand words (that would be $10-$20 over 1.5 years to read all of She Is The One) with the site keeping 10% and the author 90%. Low cost to the reader, but with lots of readers of a hot story, could be quite profitable for some authors, and give them a chance to go mainstream.

Good thinking, a high school gentleman's club. But...guys have to have enough money to belong, but then also not getting any (or enough) the traditional way. I may have qualified. Money would have been tight, but I was a shy nerd who was too afraid of scaring off a girl to even ask them out.

I still think it would be dangerous for girls to turn tricks in their own school, which would make it quite possible for them to be sitting in class with their paying customers. Too hard to keep a secret...and it was mentioned, I think at the football field, about picking from the catalogue. So I lean towards the girls not being students at Brow Ridge, but they could be going to another school nearby, or be recent graduates of some other school (18 or 19 and look young enough). Brow Ridge is big enough that as long as someone looks like they belong there no one is going to question them in a crowd. A teacher or administrator may know quite a few kids by sight, but there's many more they don't know, so as long as a person doesn't stick out they can blend in. Also, hiring anyone under 18 for prostitution can, if caught, can bring charges of human trafficking.

jplong703

Hey Joe, did you see my reply to your PM? You can respond privately. Hope everything goes well with your work. My company's going through some reorganization after mergers. Our office is doing well, but the bean counters they brought in want to slot everyone into the boxes on their templates.

No. For awhile I was going to say something sarcastic to DA that it seemed no matter what time of day I logged in she was in the Shoutbox, but now nothing from any of them in at least a week. I hope everything's OK in RL. DA was up to 7 months in her pregnancy and had problems in the past.

She sets my gaydar off. May flirt with Binyam but never has given him anything (would help if he asked) but she was oh so quick to say how gorgeous Kayla was.

I don't like to suggest where story lines should go, that's up to the author. However, I have often played along with others in guessing, even though I realize that it may be counter-productive, in that if we actually do guess what the author has in mind, they may be less likely to do the story that way for fear of being seen as doing it the way the crowd wanted. What I do like to do is look at the past of the story, seeing how I as a reader have interpreted what's been written so far. What i wrote above is definitely how I would feel, and after reading this story for over a year I do think that's quite a reasonable reaction for Adam. I noticed the descriptions of the sex that bashful wrote into this last chapter. It was though Adam was never as physically close to Nicole as he was at that moment, and then she took it away. I know she meant well and it's likely the right call for their long term relationship - but I expect it to be damn hard for Adam to stifle his rejection and hurt to the extent that his parents won't notice that something's dreadfully wrong. But hey, even us grown adults struggle to make the right call.

With Rhona knowing Jack's secret voyeuristic fetish, I wonder if it might be secretly arranged to have Jack watch a girl he knows (Belle? Jessica?) having sex. That might have interesting reactions.

Nicole had seen that her drama had bled into Adam's life to the extent that his parents were noticing and concerned, and did not want their relationship to be discovered. Like telling him, "Sorry, no more sex" isn't going to have a reaction that his parents won't notice and question.

all sounds reasonable to me

This week I watched "The Babysitters" on Hulu, a 2007 film about a high school junior (Katherine Waterston) who gets seduced by the kid's dad (John Leguizamo), and who then pays her a big tip afterwards. He brags to his buds, and soon she and a handful of friends are charging a half dozen dads for sexual favors after bay sitting. It's a decent indie film, with good performances from Waterston and Leguizamo. Only one naked scene, where the 5-11 and slender Waterston bares her chest while standing. Smallish boobs with long, thick nipples. OK, so back to SITO's hookers. They're doing it with high school guys (who I reckon aren't paying $200 or $300 a pop) I'm seeing Rhona did some tricks in college to get some spending money, but maybe left it behind when she graduated. Then she found herself making $10/hr at Game Stop, desperate to get out of her parents house and into her own place, but she might not have wanted to be on her back again, so she agreed to be a recruiter and handler. How much are the girls charging? Even with today's prices, I can't see a high school guy forking over more than $50 at a time. In the movie, the girl kept 80% and turned over 20% to the ring leader who did the appointments and scheduling. Even if the working girls in SITO only keep 40% ($20), that's only $30 left to split between the handler and the boss. Rhona might get $10-$20 per trick. I don't think this is a huge operation. If Rhona handles 10 girls who each do 5 tricks a week and give Rhona $20, that's $1000/week for her. Not bad, but she's not rich. 5 girls, 3 times a week, $10 commission is only $150/week, which would be barely worth it. I'll guess she might be bringing in $30-40k/year, maybe $700/week, but life ain't cheap in the richest county in America.

Rhona might keep them in control, but Kayla knows they exist, and it would be a thorn. Kayla's on edge, Jack is frustrated, compounded by not being able to talk to his boss. He'd have to confront Rhona. The point is, does Kayla think that someone other than her is getting too much of Jack's attention, and the wrong kind of attention. And to clarify - I said "hormones" but I think Rhona has an emotional bond with Jack. Her abrasive personality has kept her from having friends. I'm sure she's let guys fuck her when she's been horny, but she's never had a connection with a guy like she has with Jack (or it's been a long time.) Jack accepts her, and she loves that.

A lot of women (such as my wife) like to believe they are the center of their man's universe. Kayla thought she'd be OK sharing Jack with Tara, but she wasn't. Jack had to convince Kayla that she could have her own friends that he doesn't know. Kayla has to know that Rhona has raging hormones towards Jack, and has put on enough of a tough girl act in front of Rhona in order to stake Jack as her territory. Therefor, finding out that Jack has confided something so personal to Rhona and not to her will very likely set Kayla off into orbit. Major cat fight, after she puts a dent in Jack's testicles. So my conclusion differs from Chester's!