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GrayNeko

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Posts posted by GrayNeko

  12. GrayNeko's Review Response and Discussion Thread

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    Posted

    Review for Ears to You, Luz Noceda

    Quote

    From GeorgeGlass on October 06, 2021
     

    As Fairy Slayer would say, I betaed this chapter, so any typos are my fault.

    (SPOILERS below)

    Okay, when you said there was going to be some dick in this chapter, I kind of assumed you were talking about Gus. But involving the Blight twins is even better. 

    Two things about this chapter are particularly striking. The first is the emotional intensity of it. You really sell Ed and Em’s forbidden love effectively, particularly in terms of how it affects and is affected by their other family relationships. The same goes for the twins’ powerful envy of Amity’s status as their mother’s Chosen One.

    The second thing -- and this applies to other parts of the story, too -- is that it’s not merely compatible with canon but actually explains things in canon that haven’t really been explained on the show. In this chapter, it’s Ed and Em’s penchant for picking on Amity. It’s great to see that they don’t do this because they’re intrinsically assholes (any more than Amity was during her early bullying of Willow and Luz) but because they have a really solid reason to resent Amity. You also explained very nicely why their mom lets the twins get away with so much while so often coming down hard on Amity.

    Looking forward to what's next.

     

    Thanks again for the beta, George. It was nice to have someone else’s perspective.

    The fact that Gus is stated to be younger than the others is the reason he hasn’t been included yet. The way I am developing the lore for how ears work means that at this point in his life, he hasn’t reached the stage where he would be susceptible to the effects. Doesn’t mean we won’t see him included somewhere down the line.

    I’m glad the intensity of this chapter hit the way I wanted it to. The twins are very interesting characters and it was fun putting a spicy spin on their dynamics.

    I love extrapolating ideas and expanding on details that aren’t fully explored in the show. It’s so nice when others appreciate my efforts to “color inside the lines” so to say, when it comes to making porn out of non-porn material. That said, in future chapters I might diverge from the established storyline more than a little because of an idea I have for Lilith.

    Looking forward to working with you again.

  15. George Glass' fanfic review response thread

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    Posted

    I can honestly say I did not see the inspiration for Rashomonster being such a piece of high art, then again I’m woefully uneducated about classic cinema. It never really occurs to me to model stories on things like that and if my works happen to share similarities to things like that it is usually pure coincidence. Still it was a fun story and I admire your ability to do concise work. I have a tendency to snowball a story as I go. 

  16. GrayNeko's Review Response and Discussion Thread

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    Posted

    Quote

    From GeorgeGlass on April 25, 2021
     

    Chapter 4 (SPOILERS):

    Interesting that Luz can't bring herself to make Eda her thrall the way she did Amity -- not because Eda isn't willing (unlike Amity), but because Luz thinks of Eda as her mentor. Which makes a lot of sense, really, because whereas Luz and Amity's relationship has evolved substantially over time (from enemies to frenemies to friends and now to lovers), Luz and Eda have had a consistent mentee/mentor relationship from the beginning.

    I'll be interested to see whom they draw into the fold next. 

    Luz couldn’t at first and you’re right as to the reason why, but I think I found a pretty good middle ground by the end of the chapter since she did begin manipulating Eda’s mind. I often find that in these hypnotizing stories, there’s a little in the way of moral dilemma about what they do so I hope I could convey Luz’s struggle at least halfway decently. Now it’s safe to say she’s embraced her desires and won’t be nearly as hesitant anymore. As to who, I mentioned to my readers on AO3 that the next chapter might upset some of them since this story has been fem focused so far. I wouldn’t be doing Luz justice if I ignored her full sexuality.

  20. GrayNeko's Review Response and Discussion Thread

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    Posted

    Quote

    Chapter 3 (SPOILERS):

    Not only was this every bit the Luz/Amity chapter I've been hoping for, but you made it extra-awesome by showing us that Amity has a submissive side. Not only does this make sense within the context of the story, but it also could explain why canon-Amity has been so conflicted about whether to show or hide her attraction to Luz. For a girl who feels the need to show strength at all times, the desire to give herself over completely to someone else would be anathema.

    The ending is quite a cliffhanger. The situation has really escalated now. Looking forward to more!

    George, you hit the nail on the head exactly with where I was going with Amity. There was another piece I’ve read over on AO3 that explores the idea of Amity having a sweat kink so I paid a little tribute to that piece in this chapter while also thinking about the greater implications. With Luz being so aggressive and making the first move Amity was allowed to be vulnerable and she embraced it completely. I’m glad people have enjoyed the steaminess of this chapter, I figured it was time to really get the ball rolling and it’s only going to snowball from here. 

  23. GrayNeko's Review Response and Discussion Thread

    in General

    Posted

    Quote

    From Fairy-Slayer on December 17, 2020
     

    (Chapter 2)

    Nice of Willow to reveal the secret, but a bit naughty of Luz to use that power so much so quickly. Thank goodness I really like naughtiness. Great bit of exposition plus some real hands-on fun, even if Luz had just enough self control to stop short – this time! Great little makeout session, and nice hint that there is some lingering emotional effect. I can see so many wicked possibilities, even many that come about completely innocently or just from Luz's anxiety. (Not that I have anything against a dive-right-in earjob. I even wrote one myself a while back.)

    My only question is why some demon-descendant hasn't pretty much taken over the Boiling Isle yet. :D I really like where your story is going. Thanks.

    Hey Fairy-Slayer, good to hear from you. I’m glad the exposition doesn’t feel forced and fear not there shall be plenty of naughtiness to come.

    As for your question, I like to imagine that’s why there are so many demon blooded witches on the Boiling Isles. They initially interbred to breed out this weakness and over time touching ears became so taboo that the real reason was lost or forgotten by the majority of the population. That and with Belos in charge and walking on the grass is a imprisonable offence I imagine anyone suspected of being an ear rapists would probably get black bagged pretty quickly. Or maybe that’s how Belos rose to power in the first place. *Insert spooky conspiracy sounds* Or maybe not.

  24. GrayNeko's Review Response and Discussion Thread

    in General

    Posted

    Quote

    From Bronzehawk86 on December 06, 2020
     

    A good story.

    Thanks!

    Quote

    From GeorgeGlass on December 07, 2020
     

    Some comments on chapter 2 (SPOILERS):

    --Well, while Eda might not be on my list of Top 5 Boiling-Islanders Luz Should Get It On With, Willow definitely is, so I was gratified to see this chapter about her. And Willow’s reason for wanting Luz to touch her in that way is totally in character for her. 

    --I know you didn't invent the phrase “going boneless,” but I like your use of it here.

    --I love how you fit in all the little background details like the screaming bell and lockers with mouths. It really grounds the story in the world of The Owl House and enriches the scenes at the same time.

    --Luz erasing Willow's memories at the end of the chapter seemed a bit over the line, particularly given that Luz has seen the consequences of memory erasure before -- for Willow in particular. It definitely suggests that this new skill of Luz's is ripe for abuse. 

    Looking forward to more.

    Always love hearing from you George. I’m glad Willow has a following, I like her as a character but she doesn’t do much for me otherwise. I’m surprised people haven’t expressed disappointment that I didn’t go further with her in this chapter.

    The great thing about The Owl House is all the little details. Aside from watching the show on my Disney+ account I’ve downloaded almost the whole season from Mega so I can rewatch specific scenes to make sure I’m getting things right and it’s gratifying to hear that it pays off.

    Luz is definitely going to be grappling with the consequences of her actions from the end of the chapter but I didn’t want to spend too much time there wrestling with it. To be fair though she hadn’t eaten all day and wasn’t in a great state of mind to begin with. Joking aside, I really wanted to establish that though this might have all started as an accident there’s an allure to this situation that Luz can’t resist, no matter how much she might hate herself for it.

    Again, I’m glad you and all the other readers are enjoying this story and I look forward to the Star vs story you’ve been talking about.

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