Desiderius Price

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Apologies for not noticing this sooner. I’d suggest keeping it consistent and in context. If you’ve got a (real) friend of the mayor, they go fishing, might be like… > “That’s a beauty.” John pointed at the large striped bass beneath the water. Or in the speech, especially if it’s multiparagraph, you might not need to overly annotate either. > Mayor John Smith spoke. » I’m not a man prone to superstition, therefore, we’ll go ahead with paving over the Indian burial grounds for a Walmart. » This strikes way for progress! Though, suppose in slander, could be “The Mayor’s office has gone to the John”

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43836 – zipcode for Plainfield Ohio.

43834 – palindrome!

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You’re likely damned if you do, damned if you don’t, write it generically, bit watered down, for a wider audience. Throw in kinks, triggers? That’ll attract some folks, and discourage others. Suppose if you do it scientifically, put out multiple stories, see which one attracts the most hits/engagement.

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Decided to give this a pass through, a fast(er) light rewrite/edit, clean it up a bit. I reposted chapter 9 this morning, will leave the other (later) chapters in-place until revised.

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