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SirGeneralSir

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SirGeneralSir last won the day on January 8 2022

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  1. Something I thought of for context, is that in the first encounter with the goddess, she is dressed in something kind of like a Roman goddess only less, you can't actually see anything but you can make out a lot of her body shape. Being the gentleman that he is, Loric looks away casually so as not to offend her instead of trying to get a better look like many others would. So Ava is impressed by him and gives her all the more reason to tease him and try to entice him, he is interested but wants to be respectful too.
  2. If I was to give Loric a nickname from the Goddess (Ava) I think her calling him sweetheart or sweetie would be more her style.
  3. Not sure if that would fit her personality or goals, as she needs him and starts off just trying to be flirty and playful, she eventually ends up with strong romantic desires and feelings for him. She likes to clearly flirt playfully, more directed at the idea of being a very fun-loving goddess though it also hides her isolation and loneliness, that she becomes dependant on the character to be there with her even though she has a lot of power.
  4. I was going with “good boy” because in this instance, it is supposed to hind that the young man not only is respectful based on encounters from before but that he hasn't even been with a woman. so she is teasing him and also complimenting him at him being “a good boy” not sure about shy
  5. The goddess is 100% sexually teasing him, that is her thing without actually prompting him or directly offering anything. In this world all the other gods, goddesses, and demon lords are all either dead or banished during a war over 1k years ago, but the remains of their armies are still around and without anything to command or control them, they do what they want. Think of Goblin Slayer meets witcher, the young man becomes the witcher without the potion/ritual thing
  6. I have a line here and I can not figure out what is the best way to articulate it, advice? Context, goddess just gave the young man some of her power to make him a Champion and eventual Hero, the calling him a good boy part is what I have an issue with. "That was me giving you some of my energy, just a little bit of it. Now you and I will be connected for all time, you will grow stronger and faster, and you will be more resilient to poisons and other nasty little things. Heroes and champions are only a few steps from becoming a demi-god. If you were to have children now they too would have the unlocked power that you do. You don't have any children yet do you?" Loric just looked away blushing even more. "Oh my, I really did find a good boy don't I? Do not worry about it, maybe sometime you will find a woman worthy of bearing your children," Ava said while biting one of her fingernails and giving him a devilish smile.
  7. I would say in context the same age they were developed to, because the mind still has the memories of the past XYZ years, because the same could be said for a body transfer into a robot/android. that body was only made 5 min ago, so by standards you are only 5 min old. would you accept being told that you are only seen as being 5 min old and that you must now be treated as an infant? not likely. well, there might be someone out there >_>
  8. currently working on editing this chapter, it is on its way.
  9. So the plan, still working on it, is that the party ends up in the room, because of the sleep stuff they get captured by …… someone, and must deal with either escaping or being diplomatic etc. I am leaning more towards escaping and fighting their way out of the place and so on. But I thank all of you for your thoughts and ideas, gives me more ideas to work with.
  10. I think my issue in this case, is that I dont know what some of these objects are called and so I am stuck trying to figure out a term to call them while explaining what they are etc. A communication issue on my part.
  11. Ok valid point, so then how would you describe a Roman/Greek style temple in a Original world, because what I have I do not think fits it at all. (After a short trek in the ankle high water, Loric found what looked to be some kind of old temple ruins. A tall cube like building with blue crystals that reached at least two floors high supporting the building that were creating the light.)
  12. So using a fantasy world like LOTR or any universe really, would you say its more about keeping the aesthetics than trying to communicate to the reader as being part of our world? having read many fanfics where the writer is more telling the reader that the OC villain in his OC world had a cape that was more like spawns or and open mouth mask like batman even though said things don't exist in their world.
  13. Question, when you are writing something descriptive, how do you decide what terminology to use? Ex: “The space commando looked like a fusion of Ironman and Optimus Prime from hell.” or would you not use such examples and instead try to use your own words to depict the character? Ex: “The space commando had sleek red and silver armor with a menacing and slightly bulky helmet, his oversized pulse gun increasing the intimidation factor” ( I have no such character in mind this was all made on the spot)
  14. lol this is a LORT ish type of world, though I did get a good laugh at the idea.
  15. What about something in the food? Change the room into a dining hall or something and ….. something is in the food. I need a name because ATM I am thinking the “bad guy” tells them “yeah I put X in it, knocks you out good.”
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