djackgirl

Hey all, well chapters 1 and 2 are up, I'd love some feedback in regards to how it is structure and the flow, etc, etc and whether it is an enjoyable read. It is multi-chaptered and a Scabior-centric story. Title: A Beautiful Lie Author: djackgirl Rating: Adult++ Summary: Lies never turn out well in the end and for Genevieve, lying was her way to survive in the beginning but it could end up her death sentence if she is found out. Feedback: Greatly welcomed and appreciated, I am new to writing Harry Potter fanfiction. Fandom: Harry Potter. URL: http://hp.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600094229 Thanks in advance to anyone who takes the time to read this and go to story It means a lot to me. Regards djackgirl

Haha! Phew, once I get started on movies and the like, its hard to shut me up easily I love Jason Isaacs, such a frigging good actor. Dragonheart is a bad guy comical part, but funny as when he loses his pants during the "dragon attack", funniest scene ever! Haha. Yeah, it shockingly has been, dang even I can't believe its been ten years! Ah Hook, he did that part well. Love him as Lucius Malfoy though, just the air about him makes ya go, S.O.B to the core. I have never seen Fire Wall- adds that to list of movies to hire this weekend haha! Paul's best role is in Legion! God that movie is awesome in so many ways, especially with the take on the angels. I'm Australian... Haha! Its way hard to write in English or live in England cause we're like polar opposites to each other where I live. I know nothing or phrases or English slang so don't feel so bad

Yes. Hands down. Haha. When typecast its easier to just imagine that one side of the actor; especially the villain typecasts. Like Mark Strong or Jason Isaacs, even Dominic West (300, Centurion, etc) to an extent because all we ever see is their nasty side and its what obviously appeals, if you're writing a fanfic about the character they're playing, to you. It also, I think, goes hand in hand with how well they do their job as a villain. I don't think Tim Curry would've sold being a baddie in Three Musketeers if it weren't for how damn convincing he is when acting. I so hope that made sense, sorry if it didn't, movies and I = tongue-tied long rambles. Haha! DJ

JayDee: Lol! Too right they could field their own soccer team.

Shadow Knight: They're my best OCs I've written into a fandom before. I do? Yes! Haha. Don't need to watch the movie haha, this takes place months before the movie occurs I'm glad you enjoyed the scene, it came to me when I read what cornucopia meant. Yeah I'm not, I generally write over 1,000 words, I normally dislike anything under but... This is a good way to practice getting into writing such short things

Just wanted to reply to these cause you all took the time to leave 'em so I can definitely take the time to reply ^.^ pittwitch: Thank you Apollo: I never know when its just enough but not too much and I didn't want to cut it off because of the 1,000 word limit, I just managed to keep it under it, haha! Glad ya liked it. Fairy Slayer: Well I'm glad that came across right. I actually read that part and went does it need to be or doesn't it but I guess I forget to change it, haha, blame that on an 11pm post with little sleep the previous night. I'll fix up that spelling mistake too. Sophia is from the year 1887 Romania with little to no clue as to what most things in the year 467 are or represent so it was funny as for me cause she can be the total clueless at points but not seem dumb for it kisakimiko: Haha, these are just my OCs in the King Arthur fandom. 11 babies and Bors still hasn't married Vanora... running joke in the movie that I couldn't resist bringing up when it came to talk of babies.

Pen Name: djackgirl Story link: Horn of Fertility Type of fic: FlashFic Rating: Adult + Fandom: Movies > G-L > King Arthur Pairing: Sophia/Agravaine Warnings: ChallengeFic, COMPLETE, Rom, H/J, M/F, OC

Haha, I love Iron Man, Robert Downey Jr. did such a good job as him. Number two wasn't so great but I liked it cause Mickey Rourke was Whiplash ^.^ I'll definitely check out the fic when you put it up.

Here are a few: Honey Babe Darlin' Sexy Cupcake Honeybunch Doll Pookie

NOTE: I do not own any of the music, videos and or things shown in the AMVs, I have merely edited them for fun and no profit is being made out of these, I just like being creative. For The Silver Lining: Whispers In The Dark (Lancelot/Sophia) Love the Fall (Agravaine/Sophia) For other King Arthur fiction: For Wrestling fiction: I'm always working on some videos. At the moment doing a request for a friend, making a ton of Lord of the Rings ones, and am always happy to take requests Hope you enjoy.

Fairy you aren't long winded at all, its betas like you that are what aspiring writers need.

She is psychotic even more so than ones I've seen before... damn creepy.

Her profile says 36? Bahaha and she doesn't sound mature at all by her profile. I get the impression of- crazy lady, crazy lady behind a keyboard. See MimiFern (may as well name her) actually posted the first chapter, sent it to me, deleted the story, then reposted, then deleted and then reposted again after I'd finally gotten to beta it but she didn't actually take in anything into account only asked to use lines I'd used in the beta version to show her where to go from wrong to right. I saw the review, good on ya for doing it on the public review board which they actually can't delete without reporting them for a good reason. I had all of the above save for the last part as she didn't actually tell me what she needed from me and even when I asked it was, "just don't get too technical"... All I did was tell her she needed depth in her characters that just because Stephanie has written them one way does not mean you don't explore them and when its an AU reality story, that strongly applies. I beta read the chapters once and never got them sent back to see how she had improved them. This here is an excerpt of how I tried to help her capture things right: First hers: I can’t believe I was so careless as to actually fall into the trap of that revolting pig of a man. I had been raised better and warned all my life to never converse with strangers let alone walk around in the dark with them. And what do I do the first time I am alone? Find one to kidnap me! I was so incredibly incensed and angered at my stupidity and ignorance that before I knew it I was stomping my way to the immense wooden door, and pounding upon it with all I had. After about 7 minutes of this I realized nobody was coming to my rescue and I figured I should evaluate the door for weakness. And here is my view on where to go right: (Try and capture a panic. Make a few short but strong, panic mood sentences and try to capture the imagery and atmosphere. Remember 1st person requires a lot of detail because it is coming from the character directly. You want a reader drawn in and made to feel like they are there. And remember the time period you're writing in don't make them act like modern day people would to such things.) This was not happening. This couldn't be happening. It just couldn't! {Sense the urgency and panic by just three little lines} But no matter what I did I still knew that I was locked in a strange mans rooms, with no chance of escape. I felt ridiculous that I had so easily believed and fallen into such a now blatant trap. He had been smooth and calm. Approaching me just like a gentleman would. No man out that late at night would ever be of a gentlemanly nature. My father raised me better than this. How many times had I heard him tell me not to talk to strangers? I didn't even realize that I wasn't safe with this man. I was lost, and just needed a way home. I didn't even get to explain most of what I was trying to teach her in the comparison chapter because she told me not to get overly detailed... She did need the help, no? I don't know I think that here, Wrestling fandom and the King Arthur fandom is the best place to be, no more Twilight tweenies for sure.

Thank you, now I can post it up was a little worried that putting a disclaimer up on the chapter wouldn't be right.

Actually being asked to trial run with an author isn't what would insult but more so they want to "test" us as though they don't take what we have put up seriously, even just a small piece of their work or chapter, actually- I seriously think that is a great idea- that way the beta sees what they will have to work with and the author sees how the beta is going to be. But to say that it was someone else's idea to test out the beta would worry me about how mature the author themselves are. Its like going for a job almost, you want to sound like you actually are mature and can handle the beta taking your story and showing you where to improve- the beta doesn't need to waste time on an author who doesn't care what they have to say- that is what irked me about her more than anything. That was a very good example actually of a good experience beta-ing and that the author actually took the advice and did try to improve the story- it shows a sense of not only commitment to the story but also to wanting to improve his skill of writing, he can learn not to write so much but reduced it down and still have it make sense. *Must go and look at PerfectImagination* Haha, I seriously am learning more and more each day. @Shadowknight I actually agree with you there, as I said above it shows he wanted to improve but I got the bad luck of the draw in having a new writer who didn't want to improve but, as my friend said, use me as a ghostwriter by her definition. Haha, I am the last person in the world to want praise, for basically anything, I look at my work and still cringe to high heaven at how bad it is compared to how good it could be. I'm way better than I use to be, the girl was the same as I was in the beginning and I recognized that which is probably why I was so fine with beta reading for her at first as I knew the heat I took at the time was immense for the fandoms I was in but hey I've grown, one of my betas and I are going through my Lord of the Rings story now -all current ten chapters- and working over it to make it now I have two more years experience under my belt. I guess the FFnet Twilight tweenies only see more reason to swoon over an over the top love story between Edward and Bella. Haha. Sorry I can be a little blunt at times with my disliking but its honest truth not one reviewer had pointed out that her grammar needed more work and more time, there was no character development (even after I spent three hours writing out what she could do to draw the reader into the characters) it was just bam this, this and this happens all so quickly and under 1,500 words and people love it. I don't get it... If they love a basic 900 word chapter with little well depth and review so much junk how come the actual time taken, thought out stories are ignored most of the time? DJ