Shadowknight12
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Posts posted by Shadowknight12
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First of all, thank you!
They are pretty sweet, but I blame it all on Alistair's influence. 
But you hit squarely on what was bugging me with this fic. The time lapse isn't clear when you're hopping from flash fic to flash fic like I'm doing, and it's hard to squeeze enough backstory in to make the progression of their relationship make sense. I think, depending on the next prompt, I can either make it clearer or somehow get enough backstory in there to make it more logical, and therefore believable. I get lost in other descriptions...
and then I forget that not everyone is actually living inside my head with me! (Gods, I hope not -- it's a mess in here!)But I do like this pair, and I will be writing more of them!
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That saucy Alistair...
Hah, I understand. I often scowl at FlashFics for being so unwieldy, limit-wise. I think it's easy to pull off a little backstory in the next prompt, since you'll have less lore taking up words. You can have Wraith reminisce about Alistair as they hold hands or something. It's very realistic to go "holy crap, I can't believe we got this far!" in a relationship, especially when there's a lot of stuff occupying the person's mind. And hah, your other descriptions are very nice. They give the fic the sweet flavour that makes it interesting to read.
I don't doubt the head of a wench is a messy place!
And I can't wait to read more.
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Well, I can hardly resist using a tweest (twist) in my stories, but using two is something I'd usually eschew. The part about them actually liking the books was in keeping with the show itself... plus Pittwitch was spot on that I craved wanted some warm and fuzzy feelings for all of them too.
Using the titles was actually a great help for describing their personalities without having to give them more dialogue or action; and I always give light physical descriptions to help readers who aren't familiar with the fandom. (Yes, the visual thing — I just saw your other review.) When I finished the first draft I was worried the long titles and descriptions would put the story well over the limit, but I was close to a hundred under. Phew!
I'm very glad you found it easy to read in one shot, and I'm guessing (hoping) without having to use Wikipedia. There were one of two reservations I had about the flow, but I'm certainly not going to point those out now.
More importantly, it sounds like you enjoyed it.
Ahhh, I see. Normally I have a hard time processing WAFF, but in this case I knew it was supposed to be a children's show and went with it. Wasn't half bad!
Yup, I have to commend you on that one, I could get an idea of the characters' personalities from the titles alone. Well done.
Hahah, yes, I didn't have to use Wikipedia at all. Even if I felt I was missing out on in-jokes, it's what happens when you have never watched the show in question. The pacing is a bit hurried in one or two places, but it's a Flashfic and therefore perfectly understandable. Honestly, you shouldn't worry about pacing or the like when you have a word limit! It was good. It flowed, all in all, remarkably well. Glided, if you will, like a magical pony down a rainbow.
I did enjoy it, actually. It was nice, mainly because it had a good balance of humour and sweetness. If it had been treated seriously, I might have bolted. But the jokes made it entertaining to read!
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Elspeth: Hahah, glad I made you giggle, light-hearted fun is always a good entertainment.
Aaaaaaaaccckkkkk .... SK's ideas smack of mathematical theories and probability charts and nonsense the witch does not like. She likes the wyvern and sees no problem with doing two story lines. She damn near did two ficlets for Gift ... one official, one unofficial!
Yeah, I guess I have a strange mind. I'll just do the "one chapter per prompt" thing, just like you do, only with two separate paths. Should be fun!
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My contribution to the topic: http://www.english-grammar-revolution.com/capitalization-rules.html (thank you, BronxWench, for the page)
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FairySlayer: Heheh, smart. Suddenly suspicious is a good attitude to have. Oh, the "prancing in armour" bit was aimed more at the weight of it and not its safety. It was a kind of subtle foreshadowing of Auran's strength, so that the "tackle-bash" doesn't seem completely out of the blue. Ohohoh, yes. Payback is definitely due.
Roots for the wyvern! Go wyvern, go!
See? Now I have to find a way for the wyvern to follow these two around, making MST3K-style commentary...
Well... You could so do one of those 'You choose the ending' type deals! I loved those books as a kid!
*ponders* At the end before the choice you could be like: For this go to Ch3, for that go to chap 5! And keep it going! God that would be so much fun!!!
Hahah, I really like this idea! And every prompt would be another chapter in either of the two routes? If I were to do something like pittwitch's continuous thread and wanted to post two chapters at once (to continue both storylines), would they have to total 1000? Because I could just say "storyline A is continued in the even-numbered chapters and storyline B in the odd-numbered ones" and do one chapter per prompt, like pittwitch.
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pittwitch: You got yourself some competition, woman!
The wyvern is very fun to write because he's such a deadpan snarker. I wish I could keep him around longer!Well it was... The whole healing, lingering hand thing was mushy! And he went and go the Orb and stuff!
Heh, well, I guess I ain't as bad as I thought with the mushy stuff, lol.
Poor Jeddek isn't going to know what hit hit when Auran decides to pounce, I think...
*ponders* Auran executes his master plan and pounces Jeddek or Jeddek has enough and finally pounces Auran? Gods, it's so sad I can't have it both ways...
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Apollo:
That is the first time anyone's called my writing mushy! Thank you for the deflowering. Techno-Ninja: Hahah, yeah, some people have never heard of subtlety. These two are on fire. Not literally, I hope.
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BronxWench: Thank you for the awesome praise! I really do enjoy writing these two, and I'm glad you enjoy reading them. I think Jeddek's breaking point is merely inches away. ETA: imminent!
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Pen Name: Shadow Knight.
Story link: AFF Prompt - Gifts.
Review replies link: Review Replies for AFF Prompt - Gifts.
Type of fic: FlashFic.
Rating: Adult.
Fandom: World Of Warcraft.
Pairing: N/A.
Warnings: AFFO, ChallengeFic, COMPLETE, NoSex, OC.
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Techno-Ninja: Hmmmmmm, perhaps a little of column A and a little of column B? Glad you like my writing!
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Techno-Ninja: Thank you! It's always good when a reader unfamiliar with the fandom is still able to enjoy the story.
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Yes. MPreg is a very controversial subject. Always add the warning. If you do not add it, expect angry reactions. It's just impolite, like forgetting the "death" tag and then gruesomely killing off the main character. Will it kill the surprise and the drama? Perhaps. But it is your duty as a writer to include it.
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I only wish stories from here would span a movie or three...
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Rain: Excellent rendition!
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Now THAT is what I call awesome. :clap:
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well okay sure if you're going to go with that then I'm sure it's scarier to wake up without your arms and legs, or to have blood start oozing from all your pores or to have a big hairy black man named Bubba who's breath smells like old shrimp cuddle up behind you in a dark alley and whisper "Hmm, I like it when they squeal" but relatively being attacked by an armed man/armed group of strangers is far cry more dangerous/deadly than getting in a fistfight with a lone homophobe of equal size and strength.
lawlz, yeah though, it is very true that crazy nazi redneck dudes are as apt to attack anyone as they are a gay dude so
I fully agree and I have no further comments to make.
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You can't take what the Japanese create in their media as their true views. The shows they watch and the stuff they read are like outlets since they can't display those types of urges IRL. A lot of the other shows they have have the actors displaying emotions that are so over-the-top as to be ridiculous because it's an outlet. They're soo conservative, a MARRIED COUPLE holding hands is considered too much PDA. In RL none of that is acceptable.
Actually, media is a reflection of a society's desires. It exists purely because there is people who will pay money to make it happen. The popularity of such reflection depends on the work's accuracy. So if the media exists, the desire must be there or else there will be no motivation for people to pay money for it. If the seme stereotype is so popular, then Japanese women must find him desirable in some level. Perhaps not desirable as a mate, but they must still derive some sort of enjoyment from seeing him in media works or else the law of offer and demand would take care of its extinction. Just because the culture states that such desires aren't meant to be displayed publicly doesn't mean they don't exist. Granted, I'd normally agree with you on it based on what you've just mentioned, but the fact that there is a demand for such characters means something. It's much like speaking about an individuals subconscious desires, if you will, only on a sociological level.
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Wench: True! But I have come to the conclusion that views on sex are always fluctuating and have a tendency to cycle. So yeah, what you said is quite true.
I am going to have agree with Apollo on this one and say that balance is need with "asshole" male characters!We need a facepalm icon. Ugh, that is EXACTLY what I have been trying to say all along. Thank you for taking my point and putting it forth with a few word changes. The rest of your post is also full of little eye-twitchers like that one. Protip: Reading a thread before posting is a good thing.
Also, the "asshole exterior, mushy interior" makes me LAUGH whenever I see someone gushing about it. It's such a typical female fantasy. No wonder it works so well as a façade IRL. I really hope that you girls don't complain about unrealistic depictions of women in the media...
The Japanese (And other Asian cultures). They're raised in a Collectivist society that values the whole over individuals, so they're turned off by blatant 'I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread, screw the rest of you' attitudes. They consider it VERY rude. So, women that prefer the meeker attitudes and introversion do exist.
I thought the same until I remembered the "seme" role in Yaoi, which is written for women. Though I suppose that since many of them have other types of Western qualities, one could argue it's something "exotic" to them. Or something. I am really not informed enough to say.
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I have coffee - therefore, I am awake! Haha!
Age old speech or no, there is a reason that it is the age old speech! It turns a woman on! You and I have had discussions about Game theory, and as much as both you and I despise the men who actively play it, it works on 90 to 95% of women. Now, if you talked with the women and described it outside of it's environment, women will lie and say it does nothing, but watch in a bar/club. Women respond to it, time after time. Dunno, the sociological aspect I have a feeling we will always disagree on. I just know what I like, will it take digging? Sure but eventually I'll find that guy!
Good point, but my take on it is that it works because women are raised to think that way. I would very much like to interview a woman who has been raised in a radically different culture and see if it really does work on her. My prediction would be that culture dictates what people should look for in a sexual partner. If she was raised in a culture where subservience and meekness in males was a very desirable trait, and she had had no exposure to current Western culture, I would say that her body would NOT react sexually in the slightest to a man displaying asshole traits.
But this is all speculation, of course, unlikely that with today's globalization we'll ever find out the truth. It's just interesting food for thought.
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How about the evil villains that justify themselves by telling themselves they are doing the right thing...they don't think of themselves as the bad guys?
Very rarely will someone think of themselves as bad guys. Why? Because even a little genre savviness would tell them that their chances of success are pretty damn low. And this ruins morale like a frying pan to the face. Better to think off yourself as something that can be cast on a positive light, if only to fight less people on your way to the top.
(I know SK is totally gonna rip on me since we've had similar talks LOL)Me? Ripping on the site owner? Dear girl, I'm not that stupid...
I wouldn't have a problem dissecting your reasoning to show you just how impractical it is to want something so rare, but if one removes the technical terms and adorns it a bit, you'll actually find yourself with the age-old speech of what women want in a man. Dissecting THAT would give me a headache and it's just too damn early in the day for me to hit the booze, Apollo. I will only say that I hope your search is fruitful.
I'll comment on the side that "asshole" qualities might be all well and good for sex, but if you take that out of the equation, you get more problems in the relationship than the attitudes are worth.
I was reading this, and noticed something rather interesting, and let me state in advance that I'm poking myself more than anyone else...
Why is it that we automatically assume, when we discuss assholes, douchebags and arrogant twits, that we are referring to males? I do acknowledge that there is an inherent gender bias in the English language, with the male pronoun being the default, but dear gods... As a woman, I can categorically state that we are equally prone to all of the personality traits that go into being a total and utter feckwit. And honestly, I really don't know if I'm mentioning this from a sense of offended gender pride (Yes, we too are assholes!) or simply because I am having a nice moment of my own...
Social conditioning. It's far more acceptable for a man to be a total asshole than a woman to be a complete bitch. On the other hand, we have the apologists, who are more than willing to be guilt-tripped into accepting a bitch's bitchiness because of all the boohoohoo subjugation men have imposed on women for millennia. And this is about the SMART ones. The rest will just think "pussy = good, must have more" and take whatever she throws his way if she's sufficiently hot. In fact, one could say that a woman's Allowed Bitchiness is directly proportional to her hotness. And if she cultivates an image of being positively excellent in the sack but hard to get (and we assume she has the looks to pull this off), she's going to be allowed to disembowel a guy on the street before anyone objects.
The problem with women is that very few of them are satisfied with sex the way a man their age is. Most women want a deeper connection, emotions and all that crap. Bitchiness sabotages relationships in the vast majority of cases. So a woman learns to exempt her loved one from her assholeness or become a master of subtlety. Men have no problem being assholes because this trait is very rarely an obstacle when it comes to getting sex. Look at Apollo and the way she so blatantly admits that this ridiculous behaviour actually has a positive effect on her. It is because of women like HER that this trait thrives (*points finger and glares*
). A woman who wants an emotional connection with her man will either have to settle for someone older (sacrificing looks) or keep trying until she finds the right person. Which, if one thinks about it, becomes highly ironic if a lot of time has passed and she has to settle for an older man... only now SHE is older too, and with a lot of baggage.So, to sum up: women aren't as prone to overt assholeness as men because they have different priorities and this trait usually becomes an obstacle in the path to achieving them. There are exceptions, of course, and I dare say the exceptions are slowly becoming the norm as time passes.
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lol As apposed to what, reptile dogs?
Perhaps it was "asinine dogs"?
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I suppose that if you're looking at it in the media as "50% of all people have a bicurious adventure"
That, to me, is more or less what the media spouts. That young people are free-spirited, open-minded, dominated by their hormones and eager to be rebellious and experiment with their same gender because apparently it's taboo or some shit. Whatever, I don't know, I don't care. I don't even want to know if it's true or not. What some stranger does, sexuality-wise, is none of my business.
and the comment about going into the physical stature was because a lot of people tend to forget about the fact that gay dudes can be as intimidating (physically) as any other man, what with the usual stereotype of a gay man being "mincy, wearing women's jeans and a skintight rainbow shirt." and, lawlz, like, yeah, most of the really bad cases of attacks *are* a gang of rednecks/white trash out actively looking for trouble, and what with fags having a reputation for being sissies it makes them a soft target.Yes, I always wonder how a lot of people seem to forget the sheer number of gay guys who work out (some to the point of vigorexia) or at the very least try to keep a healthy lifestyle. *shrugs* I guess the flamboyant ones draw the most attention.
that'd be some pretty (understandably) crazy stuff though, and being attacked with weapons is, you know, super scary and super deadly and stuff. but, too, Snight, I was also just emphasizing the point that if a lone, obviously gay guy goes to a bar, but looks intimidating enough/like he could handle himself (or if he AND his boyfriend both look tough enough) then there's simply a far less likely chance that some lone homophobic vigilante is going to try and start something,*shrugs* There are far scarier things than that.
Yes. I know. What *I* was trying to emphasise is that what you have just said is true for absolutely anyone. If a black guy goes to the same bar and looks like can handle himself, he's also not going to get beaten up for his race. If a scantly-clad woman also looks like she could handle herself, she's not going to get dragged into the back alley and raped. I was talking specifically about gay guys, not anyone that might be exposed to violence for what they are.
I want to add that I agree with the rest of your comment wholeheartedly. People should read that and take notes. Just clarifying my position.
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but people aren't stupid, and the huge majority of the time the camp-gay will avoid whatever situation just on his own. what Snight sort of touched on, and I think should have gone into a little bit more detail about, is that it really does depend on the personality and physical stature of the guy. if the camp guy's huge and muscular, it doesn't matter how queen-y he is if he's got biceps that are the size of basketballs. very few dudes are gonna pick a fight with him. same with any of the other guys too- if they don't scream "mincing faggot!" then an actual physical attack is probably... not very likely to happen in a normal, not-super-homophobic setting.
Isn't that just very basic common sense? Like, "survival instinct" basic? I mean, really. Nobody will attack anyone if there's a good chance the attacker is going to get their ass handed to them. That's why a lot of muscular people have been attacked by mobs or with weaponry, and not one-on-one. If the campy guy is muscular but he really, really pisses off a redneck, he might get his friends, a bunch of bats, and beat the ever loving shit out of the gay guy. Just as it might happen if, instead of being very gay, he slept with the redneck's sister and broke her heart. Some people are just looking for an excuse to elicit violence on others. This, OF COURSE, depends on the setting. This sort of person is more common in certain areas than others.
heh, I don't know how to describe it other than "a potential for a little bicurious exploration" (whether that exploration consists of just a little bit of over the top flirting, drunk, over the top fondling, or... like, crazy amounts of "more" depends on the dude).As an aside, this, regardless of gender, is NOT as common as the media would have you believe. Obviously varies a lot depending on the area as well, but in most cases, nubile youngsters of either gender being wildly bicurious is very much the stuff of fantasy. Not saying that it doesn't happen, especially when it's all just verbal (flirting, teasing, etc.) but more physical exploration is, save the times when it's done specifically because of a dare/for money/to impress or shock, far rarer than it appears on the media.
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While I fully agree with EVERYTHING you just said, there is an ethical theory type thing that states this: Ethical and Psychological Egoism. Psychological egoism states that we are selfish beings. Ethical egoism states that we ought to be selfish beings.
Just wanted to state that. =3
While I completely agree with Psychological Egoism, what's the point of Ethical Egoism? I mean in the long run. While one could argue about "survival of the fittest" being a possible advantage, if individualistic competition over resources had been a viable strategy for the advancement of the species, we wouldn't have banded in social groups. Not to mention the whole "empathy" thing that counters that theory and that nobody is quite clear on where it comes from and why some people seem to be born without it. But it's interesting to think about, thanks for contributing!
Review Replies for Alchemy
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Oh, I'm always around to bounce ideas off!
My issue with Beredir is that he actually doesn't come off as Vale's friend... much. Only as an acquaintance. Friendly acquaintance from long back, but still. And it's clearly stated Vale's been neglecting the relationship (which actually might not be that much from elven standards, but still, narratively we don't see the two interacting that much), so the "friendship" vibe doesn't come across that well. I definitely agree on being caught up in the middle of a breaking relationship, and it's portrayed... subtly. Having him bemoan a bit about the difficulty of his position would have worked well, I think.
Hmmm. Well, since it was already a long chapter, you could have added more in the timeskip and split it into two. But really, wench, that was just a matter of personal preference. *I* would have gone for more detail because I like being thorough, even at the expense of clarity. If you want things to be more clear and easy to follow, that's a good thing! Especially if you say you didn't want it to turn into a fic within a fic.