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Concepcion33

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  1. Thank you so much for joining me on another story, those of you who have read my work before. I have completed 13 chapters of Serenity and it will end at just under 20. This is the 3rd story I've uploaded this year on this site which is unlike me considering I'd taken a break for three years. I guess that means I've made up for lost time, and am grateful that the ideas keep flowing. And to you the readers, thank you so much for your support, now on to the review responses. Chapter 1 Youngblood: It's funny you would say it's not too surreal, because as I was writing it I was thinking, wow everything is going to take place on one planet for a change, hehe. And as far as the characters' relationship being a bit of a cliché, I hope I do them justice. =) Btw, your username is the same as that Jem and the Holograms song that I can't get out of my head. I absolutely did not go see the movie, but I like the song! Tahn: /waves. I believe this is the third story you have followed me on, I'm honored! Katniss Everdeen: I am really surprised that your favorite is In the Land of Arborea, because it's a fanfiction for a video game. It didn't get nearly as much traction as my originals, so I really don't plan to do anything like that again. I have thought of publishing, but what I may start off with is trying to get e-stories for tablets up on Amazon. I still have a day job and I sort of feel that my level of writing would be what someone would say 'don't quit your day job' for, hehe. And I really do enjoy just posting here for free to get some feedback. =) Rukia Isaioi: I get where you're coming from, and I have never written this type of fic where one of the main characters outright owns the other. Usually the seme is the knight in shinning armor type, and you will find that Xander is not going to be that for most of this story. In fact he does something in chapter 2 that might make people not like him too much. =p The characters will struggle with their inequality and the Sendrian society and values will play a big role in it. Chapter 2 Ciara_D: Thank you for your review. Tahn: And more drama to come... Rukia Isaioi: I totally get where you're coming from. I know the story description indicates that Tian and Xander will eventually fall for each other, but right now I believe their relationship is true to their situation. Tian would kill Xander if he got a chance, and Xander outright admitted to Tian that he could never love him, but that his performance would decide whether or not he made it onto Xander's list of favorites. I understand that you don't see at this early stage in the story how that would change for them to later love each other. But much can happen between now and the several chapters yet to come. Chapter 3 Moku_Sui: You will just have to keep reading to find out. =) Tahn: You know my stories always have a HEA, but it won't be easy for these two to get there. Rukia Isaio: Your reviews are very well thought out and I look forward to hearing from you. I do have a plan on how their relationship will come around. Lala: At this stage in my writing career, when I put something out there, I want a finished product. So thank you for showing your appreciation on that. As for the story, I have a feeling Xander may have made a few other people uncomfortable with his actions. I haven't written a character like him before but I know it will all work out. =) : Thank you for the review! Chapter 4 Rukia Isaioi: I read Blood Red a while back but not the other one. My main characters I would say are nothing like the characters in BR either. Tian is a prisoner of war turned slave, and Xander really has no misconceptions about his own stature and power. Lala: It is more like a turn of the century universe in terms of technology. They do have guns, and travel consists of steam powered vehicles and air ships. As for Xander's comment, he really is arrogant enough to feel that if Tian's eyes were red-rimmed because of him, then Tian would have been deserving of it if Xander had been forced to punish him. But in this case, Gardiner is the cause of Tian's distress and it's rubbing Xander the wrong way. Chapter 5 and 6 will see the answers to the wife son, and number of whoreslaves question. Tahn: That is a big if. Zas: Thank you for your review. Unfortunately there is no magic of any kind if this story, and as a rule I never write Mpreg. smint45: Thank you for joining me on another story! Chapter 5 (Tough crowd for this one so far. But thanks for voting all you non reviewers who hate Xander. =p) Yuno: I agree Xander is a piece of work. I like Game of Thrones but I did not watch last season. Rukia Isaioi: Tian's ideas for revolution are just that, ideas. I didn't want to spoil anything too soon, but he'll find that Xander's household will make his plans difficult due to the fact that he employs most of the people in those suggested professions and the only slaves present are actually the whoreslaves. Thanks for your feedback and your ideas are great, but they won't change my story at his point considering I already have 15 chapters complete. Tahn: I understand your suspicion, Tian is Darnubis' competition so why would he be so welcoming? Unless he really is just that nice of a guy... =o Chapter 6: Tahn: Anything is possible. Rukia Isaio: Tian meets Xander's son in Chapter 7 and let's just say that Tian isn't exactly happy on the get-to. Chapter 7 and 8 Rukia Isaioi: it took Xander a while to come around. And you are not wrong in assuming Genner may be up to no good with Darnubis as well. As for what happens to freed slaves and the elderly, that will be explained in upcoming chapters. Children are bought and sold, same as adults. Mona Thompson: remember that Tian is really at war with the Sendrians, and his desire to overthrow them. Hurting Darnubis would gain him nothing, and even if Darnubis secretly doesn't like Tian, it's not enough in his eyes to destroy Darnubis' world. More on this will be revealed in Chapter 9. angela: new reviewer, thank you for your insight, and there will be more on Gardiner in future chapters. smint45: I had been posting two chapters a week, but as this is Thanksgiving week, there will be only one chapter on Monday. I imagine it's kind of nice to have a bunch of chapters to read at once. Chapter 9 Lavi1443: I didn't want the obligated whoreslave rivalry to come off as contrived. The niceness will not last though. =o Tahn: but just a mini one. =p Rukia: You're pretty close on your guess as to the identity of the woman Darnubis cares for. It will be revealed in Chapter 10. Lala: I suppose Jenen doesn't earn any points for changing his mind from loosing his virginity at 14 to just watching two guys have sex. But he is an only child of a lord, who clearly spoils him rotten. Moku_Sui: Stay tuned for the revelation of the 'she' in Chapter 10. Chapter 10 Tahn: Nope, not even Narciso blames Tian for winning the sparring match as he mentioned. Rukia: I was confused when you kept typing Cancer, I was thinking, 'does she hate Xander that much?' hehe. zas: my updates are on a once a week every Monday schedule. Sara: apologies if you are disappointed with the story. But you are right, Tian and all the other whoreslaves do exhibit signs of Stockholm syndrome. If you have read any of my other work, then you know I don't normally write this type of story. But I believe my story description is clear enough, and I'm sorry if you went into it unprepared. Chapter 11 Rukia: yes, progress is good! Tahn: It seems inevitable doesn't it? Anon: thank you for your review! Chapter 12 and 13 Lala: Turns out she was still alive! Tahn: Many died, but luckily Delia survived. Rukia: thank you for your ever faithful reviews! Diaval: New reviewer! I think you will like the outcome of chapter 14. ASL: New Reviewer, thank you for the feedback! Lavvy: Thanks for the feedback! Chapter 14 and 15 Diaval: At this time I don't have any plans to write sequels for any of the other characters. This story is taking me a bit longer to complete than I would have liked. It should all be wrapped up by the end of February though. Rukia: Gardiner was indeed Tian's ex fiancée, and you'll see Tian continue to blame himself for what happened to him. Tahn: Thank you for your continued support! Moku_Sui: You are the only one who mentioned that little revelation by Narsico. Serenity will be explained in Chapter 16 Chapter 16 - 18 Moku_Sui, Tahn, Mona Thompson: Thank you for your support, you know something had to give, but did Tian go from the frying pan to the fire? Diaval: Tragedies are not my thing, I hope you will be happy with the ending. =) Anon: Wow, I had not though of ai no kusabi in a while, but like I said to Diaval, I don't do tragedies.
  2. This will be the area for review responses. Here's a link to the story. http://original.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600107783 Updates will be every Monday. This story may remind some of my older readers of Salaciousness, namely because the Akadians are so insular. I had a lot of fun writing it, as I hope you all will have fun reading it. Edit: Reviews Chapter 1 deedee: I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter, just a heads up, it does take a few chapters before Gael and Ari meet. To remedy that I will be posting two chapters a week, and then it will slow down to one. I clearly posted two chapters in one night, but will probably go with a Monday and Wednesday upload for next week, let me know what you guys would prefer. Tahn: I'm glad you liked the start. =) Reviews Chapter 2 deedee: yes, it was a one two punch for updates. =) ssn: Thank you for the review. smint45: It's always nice to attract new people to a specific genre. abhila and Moku_Sui: two reviewers from my last story, welcome back! Rukia Isaioi: I don't write tragedy's' so you don't have to worry. All of my stories (if I complete them) have a happy ending. As for your other question, it does get explained in the story. In a few chapters Gael will be speaking to Ari about it. Anon: I am working without a beta. No matter how many times I preview something, I'll still miss a couple typos. You can feel free to point them out to me if you think they detract from the story too much. And you're right, there are some very emotional moments ahead for these characters. Thirdly: You'll need to be patient for a few more chapters but I hope you'll think it was worth the wait. Reviews Chapter 3 Tahn: You're not wrong about that. Thirdly: Thank you for the detailed review. You are also correct on some of your assumptions, keep reading to find out which ones. smint45: I'm glad you like the fast updates, ( it's mostly because I have 90% of the story already complete) but be warned, they will eventually slow down to one update a week. Rukia Isaioi: You are very astute to the fine details. Your question will be answered in Chapter 4 Moku_Sui: Okay, I'm assuming you want to be spoiled, they don't meet until Chapter 6. Reviews Chapter 4 Oh2Bwriting: Another reviewer from my previous story, thank you for joining me with this one. deedee: unfortunately Ari won't be happy he got caught, at least not initially. Zas: I'm glad you like the story. smint45: I appreciate your loyal reviews. Moku_Sui: That wasn't that bad of a cliff hanger compared to the ones ahead, what are you talking about? =p Thirdly: Jakred does seem to be a character that's fit for spankings doesn't he? hehe. Reviews Chapter 5 smint45 and Tahn: Thank you for your continued support. =) Anon: I had warned you about the emotional scenes ahead. Rukia Isaioi: They meet very soon! Moku_Sui: Coen had been gunning for Ari for a long time, and with the money falling into his hand after Ari's attempted escape, it allowed him to take out all that anger on Ari. anon-ish and MiriuOniaya: New reviewers, I'm glad you're enjoying the story. deedee: There is absolutely no tie to Singularity and Sacrifices. But the Akadians have their own healing system as you'll see in Chapter 6. I'm glad you think the story is addicting. To tell you the truth, I had so much fun writing it. But I've written stories in the past that I was excited about that didn't take off. So, I'm pleasantly surprised by the positive responses I've received so far. Thirdly: you are absolutely right, Thane/Ari can't catch a break, as you'll see when more shit continues to hit the fan in future chapters. Lavi1443: New reviewer, thank you for your support! =) QueenAyame109: New reviewer! It's funny, your review came in as I'm getting ready to upload Chapter 6! Reviews Chapter 6 Tahn, smint45 and Moku_Sui: Thank you for your continued support! Semaya: new reviewer! I really like HEA's too. QueenAyame109: We're getting closer to the once a week uploads, perhaps after I upload Chapter 8. I think a lot of people didn't realize that they got six chapters all in one week. And I actually worked 50 hours at my job last week! hehe. tiddlybitts: Yay, new reviewer! I'm sorry, what's tapas? Thirdly: I always look forward to your reviews because I know they'll be detailed! =) As for the reincarnation part, Demarcus had explained how it worked for the Akadians in Chapter 2, here's a snippet; Reincarnation was never a guarantee, and when it did occur it was not an exact science. Sometimes a person's consciousness could return to a body that looked nothing like the original, or even be in a different sex. Sometimes an identical body would return but the consciousness would not. Rarely did the person's consciousness and exact body ever return at the same time. So basically, in this case, when someone is reincarnated in body, they don't have the memories of the original person, they could have the same personality, but it doesn't equal the memories thus the consciousness. I hope that made sense, hehe. Chapter 7 Reviews Moku_Sui: Good questions, but you'll just have to keep reading to find out. =) Tahn: The person that was after Thane has not been officially introduced yet. smint45: I think you reviewed one of my older stories too. Just an FYI there isn't going to be as much smutt in this story as there was in those. Not as much doesn't mean they won't still get it on, that is indeed coming! Rukia Isaioi: You may have to try contacting the administrators, I can't help you if you can't see the website. Maybe try logging in on something other than your ipad. Thirdly: Ari's mind would not have been the only one tampered with. Anyone who'd had more than a moments contact with Demarcus would have had those particular memories wiped too. Indeed, Gael has been a bit tough on Demarcus throughout most of the story so far. It's mostly to contrast the fact that Demarcus doesn't have as much influence on Gael as Thane would have. Chapter 8 Reviews (Once per week every Monday uploads resume) anon-ish: You're right, Gael explains himself in Chapter 9. Angelina: New reviewer! Unfortunately, the way they work it out won't be as simple as that. Tahn: Jakred does seem to have a mean streak doesn't he? smint45: Sacrifices is more story oriented, I used to write some stories just to write smut but I seem to have moved away from that recently. There will still be sex, just not in every single chapter. =) Nbsiren: New reviewer! Thank you for your support! =) Moku_Sui: Demarcus' entry was blocked because they haven't worked things out one hundred percent as yet. But up until this point, Jakred hadn't done anything to deserve his entry be locked. Zas: Indeed, Jakred is an instigator. Thirdly: Really, Ari can't help feeling mediocre because he knows he'd starting off at such a big disadvantage where the Akadians are concerned. He wants to believe that there is more to Gael's interest than the fact he looks like Thane, because at this point he still doesn't know that Gael read all his past memories and knows everything about him. It's funny that you mention Jakred getting laid because that does happen in a couple of chapters, but at this point I won't say who he got it on with. Chapter 9 Reviews Anon: I'm glad you liked the chapter. Rukia Isaioi: Gael's apocalyptic planet destroying decisions are usually done only with the council's approval. But like an American president he does have emergency powers in a pinch. smint45: Thank you for reviewing my other stories! I apologize for Survial's bad editing, I hadn't read or edited it in over 6 years. To tell you the truth, I didn't even remember the names of the secondary characters. It was my first foray into posting stories online, so forgive the grammar and punctuation errors. (I noticed quite a few in a skim through.) But back to Sacrifices, Gael will be put on the spot by the council. Thirdly: Unfortunately, Jakred does not sleep with any of the main characters. =o When I first posted chapter 1, I was working on chapter 14, which is actually the climactic scene. I've given myself a bit of a break, but the story is pretty much complete, just have some finishing touches, so not to worry! Moku_Sui: I realize that Gael is not as likeable as some may have hoped. But it really can't be helped, I'm a big believer that stories write themselves. And based on what Gael has been through (losing Thane, the cloning incident) he has justified reasons for being bitter. QueenAyame109: Three chapters at once must have been fun for you, I'm glad you enjoyed them. =) MaddamAndRobin: I do not have a mailing list, but tune in every Monday for a new chapter until completion. If I'm up late on Sunday, I'll probably even post it early. anon-ish: You have some interesting points. Hopefully I'll provide sufficient answers in the next few chapters. =) Reviews Chapter 10 Moku_Sui: as usual, very good questions. =) And some will be answered as the story progresses. Number of total chapters will probably be less than twenty. If you notice, some of the chapters before have been fairly long. So if I were to have made them shorter I could have easily gone over twenty. I like a lower chapter count, so it would seem less daunting for newer readers to not feel overwhelmed seeing twenty plus chapters posted. Tahn: if you're referring to why Thane was targeted for murder, then you're in the same boat as Demarcus. He also suspected that Thane's murder may even have some tie to Gael. anon-ish: Ari and Jakred got off to a pretty rough start so I'm not sure if friendship is in their future, but perhaps they may dislike each other less at some point. Zas: it seemed Jakred did have this coming. smint45: Thanks for reviewing Singularity. Truth be told, Sacrifices interfered with Singularity, for it was meant to be longer. But when I realized I only had time to work on one story, I just cut it short. for it was to the point where I could have wrapped it up. Thirdly: You know what it's like when someone has their heart set on someone else, and Jakred isn't going to forget his feelings for Gael overnight unfortunately. Mona Thompson: Yes, Kron definitely is no nonsense. Reviews Chapter 11 smint45: Is Kron the bad guy? I guess you'll find out. ; ) Thirdly: All Pre-takers have a star tattoo, it's part of what signifies them as a Pre-taker, but they can decide where to put it. As for your other questions, it's unbelievable how much is going to come out in the next couple of chapters so, stay tuned. Lala: yes, Ari did see the resemblance between Gael and Kron. Tahn: It would seem Kron is up to no good. Moku_Sui: Gael wants to pursue a relationship with Ari, however the only reason they are together is because of Ari's link to Thane. So it would be really hard for Gael to just completely forget about Thane and not react to any similarities that he comes across. Rukia Isaioi: Yes, there is a lot to Kron's back story that has yet to come out. Now, chapter 12 ends in a cliffhanger, and I'm not sure if you'll be pleased with the outcome for Ari/Thane. Zas: I appreciate the review! anon~ish: Thane's picture is not among those in the Pre-taker hall. It's established in Akadian society that Kron is dead, therefore it will be explained how he's still alive and kicking. Reviews Chapter 12 Thirdly: I take it your reaction means it was obvious Thane was going to come back in some form, you just didn't expect it this way. Good ;p Rukia Isaioi: You're not wrong in some of your suppositions. The Haven is a type of entity that set up Akadian society to be running the way it is now. You can think of it as an accompaniment to the big bang. Since the universe was slowing down on its expansion, the Akadians were needed to take up the slack as Gael explained back in Chapter 9. I know they would never be considered a normal society, but they have the similar social classifications based on the tiers of the citizens etc. Just right at the very top are powerful people like the Pre-takers who prophecies swirl around simply as a way to counteract them gaining too much power. It's almost like a check and a balance and there will be fanatics like Kron and Penalt, who will try to enact or prevent said prophecies. Re-read the scene in Chapter 10 after Gael is called on the carpet by the council. He did refer to Penalt as a type of oracle who had visions, which was a hint that Penalt was going to play a bigger role. Tahn: Your reviews are always really cute sound bites. ; ) Angel: You're right, things were finally going smooth for them which kind of meant something was due to happen. hehe. Zas: If you're confused as to how Thane came back, you'll see Gael and Demarcus trying to figure that out in Chapter 13. Nyth wolf: New reviewer. Remember, uploads every Monday, but we are winding down now. smint45: Your bad feeling about this Thane may be founded, but I can't give anything away. =p anon~ish: Really good questions, some will be answered in the upcoming chapters. Mona Thompson: It is not a lie unfortunately, Thane really is back. Reviews Chapter 13 There will be no chapter next week because I'm going on vacation this Thursday. Therefore the story will return on Aug 17, 2015 for the final chapter. smint45: As you will see in the next chapter, everything will sort of come to a head before the mind scans go in depth, which is probably a good thing. Moku_Sui: That's why it's called the prelude to a climactic scene. ; ) Rukia Isaioi: I'm glad you found the website. I have a simpler outcome planned that doesn't involve Gael being part of a ménage à trois unfortunately. Mona Thompson: Story is winding down, so it's about time actually. Tahn: I think you'll like the outcome of the next chapter. Thirdly: as you probably realize, what Penalt did was not natural by any means. He broke the rules of the reincarnation when he forced Thane's essence back into Ari's body. It's part of the reason there is no bond between them, and Thane has no idea about any of Ari's life. However, his reasons for doing this may have been founded but they are about to backfire in chapter 14. Reviews Chapter 14 Lanna: New reviewer! Thank you for your feedback. I find constructive reviews more heartening as they take the good with the bad and let me know how you see things. Unfortunately, this story is at an end. I may at some point continue with this universe, and perhaps do a story focusing on Jakred. mona thompson: sadly, all good things must come to an end! ; ) And to the rest of my overall reviewers, thank you so much for your support on this endeavor. Hearing from you made the story and the characters come alive for me. Take care and see you soon!
  3. Today, for Happy Father's Day to any father's reading. Just need a few more hours for some edits. =)
  4. DaC, my stories over on fanfiction.net are really a different animal altogether from what I write here. First of all, I only write Het on that site, and second there is very little to no sex in those stories. So basically, what you like about my stories here, you may or may not care for them on that site.
  5. Greetings, fellow fan fiction lovers! I've attempted something I've never done before. Uploaded a fan fiction based on a Massively Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game, (MMORPG). I'd actually posted an introductory thread in the games section with the intention to use it for review responses, here - http://www2.adult-fanfiction.org/forum/index.php/topic/33366-in-the-land-of-aborea/page__p__274490#entry274490 Basically you don't have to be a Tera Online fan to enjoy this as it reads like a slash erotica. So feel free to give it a chance! Author: Concepcion30 Title: In the Land of Arborea Summary: Tristtan's concerned that the great General Luceus Magelus sees him as nothing more than a whore. In an attempt to prove his worth, he falls into the hands of Luceus' enemy, the outcome of which reveals the General's true feelings for him. Yet those who oppose their pairing will stop at nothing to see them torn apart. Will Tristtan and Luceus manage to fight through the adversity, or will it see their love undone? Feedback: constructive feedback, and your thoughts on the character video format. Fandom: Fanfiction Pairing: Original Characters, Tristtan / Luceus Warnings: Anal,Angst,Bi,Exhib,HJ,Oral,Violence URL: http://games.adultfa...87401&chapter=1 Since there is a media restriction, I can only post the first of several characters videos. The video's are entitled "In the Land of Arborea 1 - 16" more will be added as the story progresses and more characters are introduced. I'd made a direct playlist of these characters that should allow you to watch all the videos one after the other. Please, enjoy! [media=] [/media]
  6. It's been hidden, I will re-upload it today I'm guessing in the Games MISC category if there is one since I'm certain there is no section for Tera Online. Will edit this post and let you know when I do so. The only issue I'll have is some edits I'd made to the upload which I didn't make to the original copy of the story, so my upload will probably have those same errors in it again. But don't fret, you'll get to read more about Luceus and Tristtan. =) EDIT: The story is back up in the Misc Video Games/ RPG > Slash/Yaoi Male/Male> If the other chapters are not added back, as they promised to move my views and hits and votes to the new one, then I'll re-upload those in the next twenty-four hours. Chapter 4 should be ready by this weekend.
  7. Story Link - http://games.adultfa...hp?no=600087401 Here's a little background for my Tera Online fanfiction. In the Land of Arborea (yes I know I misspelled Arborea in the title) is an AU fanfiction based on the EnmassEntertainment MMO. Because it is mostly an erotica, I had opted to place it in the erotica section of originals. It has since been moved and is now in the RPG section of Games. You truly don't need to know in game names or places to understand the storyline or enjoy it. So feel free to check it out you non-gamers. The characters I created from the game resemble those in the storyline just to offer a visual and links are listed below. Now if any of you are die hard Tera fans, don't kill me about the lore, as I said this piece is an AU. I started playing the game a few weeks ago, and the first thing I thought was -- these characters look like a yaoi fanfic waiting to happen, and thus "In the Land of Arborea" was born. This was originally supposed to be my version of a one shot, but I've had so much fun writing it that I intend to extend it to about 10 chapters. Essentially, I wanted to stuff as much steamy and smutty yaoi erotica as I could in it, and I hope you enjoy! P.S. I do apologize for the weird spelling of names but many of the names I wanted for my characters were already taken on the servers, so I had to improvise. Hopefully this won't distract from the storyline. There is a media file restriction, so will post the first link and you can simply click on the other "Land of Arborea" titles to see the other characters. More characters will be uploaded as the story progresses. Luceus = [media] [/media]Review Response Chapter 6: DaC: I had been imagining Laeyla and Traviis' scene together for quite some time. hehe. When I saw how big Traviis' hands are (actually, all human male characters have these inordinately large hands) the wheels starting turning! As for Traviis and Rosie, I'd not mentioned it before that they were related, because I wanted to leave the 'wow' factor for when Laeyla found out. However, if you recall during Tristtan's rescue, Rosie wanted to help Traviis first when he fell into the pit, but he told her to go help Tristtan instead. That was a hint that their camaraderie ran deeper than mere soldiers. I'm not going to give anything away too soon, but I will say that Reginaldd's story will be revealed in the upcoming chapters that will include a flashback with a young Reginaldd. And that's all for now, talk to you soon! Review Response Chapter 7: DaC: I used to watch basketball back when Michael Jordan played, but since then I haven't really been interested in it. Sorry to hear your Celtics lost. Now, as for Lycineus; he is very stubborn as you can tell from the conversation with Luceus. And it wasn't so much what they had to do to survive that bothered him, it was more so the fact they kept it secret for three months before finally telling him. I won't give anything away, but Luceus does have a plan which is why he plead guilty. Whether or not it will pay off remains to be seen. That is for Chapter 8 which you shouldn't expect until sometime next week. I'm going to be all tied up this weekend. Hmm, that sounded kinda of naughty. LoL, don't mind me. And yes, clearly Reginaldd altered the recording from Tristtan. If you'll recall the following sentences at the end of the scene. Only for the first time did Reginaldd believe that he may have gone to far. He'd not witnessed his son weep like that in a long time. However, the feeling lasted all of a few seconds before he once again took firm hold of the belief that he was doing the right thing. He left the parlor to locate the com-healer. There was one thing left to do before that message could be sent. Once again, thanks for all your support and I'll talk to you later! =) pupette: thank you for your review and your re-assurance that you are still reading. It was my concern when the story was first moved from originals that those who had been following it would have lost track of it. I know hits are not the best way to gauge who's reading, one person can create 10 or 50 hits on a story in a single day, hits even accrue when I personally look at the story on the site. But here's a little food for thought. In the first 3 days that it was in originals, it received 1100 hits. Since it's been in games for a little over 10 days, only 200 more. I'm not expecting my readers to review every single chapter, I myself think that would be an unreasonable request. Not that I would mind it at all if a reviewer wishes to tell me how he or she feels after each chapter. And I'm not an author, in the sense that I'm not published. I don't make money from this, the only satisfaction I get in that sense is reviews. This story has been up for two weeks, and there are seven chapters which are not short and I didn't have any surplus chapters going into this. So it took a lot of time and effort on my part to get these chapters out as fast as I did. I had intended for this to be a one shot, which my version would have still been at least three chapters but it's gone way beyond that. Also, here's the deal pupette, I do write because I like to. When I first started writing I didn't expect anyone else to be able to read my work. The reason being, when I was a teenager I didn't have a computer for a very long time. Which meant I would write in bound books with pencils. Basically I was scandalized by what I was writing at that age. And I couldn't imagine anyone including adults reading the sex scenes that I was coming up with as an underage teen. But let's fast forward, I get my own computer and I become aware of sites like these and I still don't publish a single thing. It wasn't until 08 that I began uploading stories on this site and fanfiction.net when I was already in my late twenties. If you read my author's note for Survival which was the first story I uploaded, I mentioned it had been completed and on my hard drive for several months. So, what I'm leading up to is that writing is the draw for me, not what comes after. Because if it wasn't then I would have abandoned "In the Land of Arborea" right after it got moved to what was basically 'no man's land.' But I am passionate about this story, the characters are the reason I'd decided to flesh it out into 10 full chapters. Do I really want to spend a lot of time on something I'm receiving limited feedback from? Honestly no. I have another unfinished story on fanfiction.net that is waiting for me (along with those reviewers) to return my attention to it. And I'm sorry, I didn't mean to write you a book about this. But I hope it helps you understand where I'm coming from. Review Response Chapter 9 - Dac: The week of the fast uploads, I was on vacation. Such is not the case anymore. I can't guarantee two or more uploads a week, it may very well slow down to one as I reach near the end of the story. I do have someone in mind to pair Saeylas up with, I'm hoping you'll like my choice. Also, I think I know why you thought Tristtan's hair was longer. In the opening scene where Luceus was holding him upside down, I mentioned that his hair swept the floor or something like that. Well I'll be editing that, for some reason I assumed if he was upside down that his hair would come down quite a bit, but certainly not enough to sweep the floor since Luceus is six feet tall. Really, Tristtan's hair is the length that is featured in the video. It's clearly not as long as Juleus' or Saeylas. Stromrider: Thank you so much for letting me know someone else is reading! A strange thing happened with my hits and votes, they like doubled in the space of a few days and I don't know if that was some type of bug. But it just didn't make sense that I'd get 40 more votes and a thousand more hits but zero new reviewers. /shrug. Well, I'm glad you like the story. And I do promise if I don't complete it by the end of this month, I should be wrapping it up by next month. Review Responses Chapter 10: Monet: Thank you for your review. I get where you're coming from, this whole trying to be sexy and seductive may be a bit new for Tristtan, but he's got a lot on the line here. DaC: my ever loyal reviewer. =) Juleus is not as yet on the radar of the group investigating the Stanhope's. But eventually he will be. After you read Chapter 11 you'll realize that he'll be gunning for Tristtan. And I may consider writing a one shot on Tristtan and Luceus' meeting, but no promises as yet. Review Responses Chapter 11: DaC: I think you've mixed up Saeylas' mother Telene with Luceus' mother Stella. Both women are deceased and are in no way, shape or form related. Traviis comment was due to Lektus' supposition that Laeyla may have had an affair with Lucues' father, Winstone. Make a little bit more sense now? Next Upload Date: July 24h 2012 - this coming Tuesday, barring any unforeseen circumstances.
  8. Caius Ballad graces my avatar. I totally love his profile in that shot too. He is the new resident badass for the about to be released Final Fantasy XIII-2. You can search youtube with the keywords Lightning vs Caius to bring up a clip of an epic fight scene between the two.
  9. I think I am guilty of skipping writing boring scenes if I think they don't advance the storyline and then merely make mention of it as a flashback if I feel it is necessary to tie everything together. Everyone's opinion is different but if you as the writer feel the scene is boring then it would be difficult for others to find them interesting.
  10. The number 4 group never fails to amaze me. Especially when you have 10 chapters worth of material for them to draw from. Yet the best thing they can come up with is "This is gggrrreat!" Makes them kinda sound like Tony the Tiger, lol. I'm not trying to be a SoB or anything because I'm sure the number of review counts you have attract new readers if they think a large amount of other people like the story. But I can't say that new readers would be impressed with these types of reviews that really say absolutely nothing about the story. We're not asking for a play by play of each scene and each character but this isn't brain surgery. But they can still write a sort of interesting review with one or two sentences if they know how to word it right, Compare Example one and Example 2. Example 1 Reviewer A: I really like this story. Example 2 Reviewer B: Very interesting plot. Leaves you waiting to see what happens next. Nice other dimension, and imagery. Cant wait for more Reviewer B told me so much more than Reviewer A and the length of the review wasn't that much longer. I appreciate people for being courageous and brave enough to leave a review, but these one liner types we can really do without.
  11. 11-17-11 Update~ Hello Everyone. I was planning on having a preview for my upcoming story scheduled for upload sometime early next year at the end of Salaciousness. However, I haven't quite decided which of the two different projects I'm currently working on will be the lucky story. I had a sequel for Salaciousness planned that is to feature Trent traveling to New Angeles in search of someone like Petras. Where he will meet the real Riza and get himself into all sorts of trouble. The last chapter of Salaciousness sort of leads up to this. However, sequels can be very daunting to new readers who may or may not wish to read the first story in order to catch up. For this reason, Trent's story may not capture my focus. I do have two separate originals that I had been working on for some time. One is actually a Het that I began upload on fictionpress early last month. Since that genre differs from what my readers expect of me as a yaoi writer, I have decided against linking that story to me. The second one is a work in progress that I had originally planned to upload this year but didn't get around to it. As such it may be the February upload story. But I feel like parts of it aren't quite coming together. And basically if I'm not fully satisfied, then I don't expect anyone else to be. In order for my readers to be excited about a story then I have to as well. Forgive my ramblings. But to you; my readers who have encouraged me to continue writing these past four years since I've been on adult-fanfiction.org, you deserve nothing but the best I can put forth. I'm giving myself at least another three months to perhaps even come up with a completely different title for the February upload. Hopefully in the next few days or weeks I will think of something that snaps my interest and hopefully will snap yours as well. Until next time. =) --------------------------------------- Hi guys, i decided to make this topic so I can go into detail with my replies to your reviews. CTF: Don't worry about not having reviewed lately it's no problem. Writing your own story? That's awesome! And exciting isn't it? Immerse yourself in the characters and the storyline, sometimes they tend to write themselves hehe. And no I wasn't mad about about the Mpreg question. I have nothing against Mpreg stories I just don't write them. Sort of reminds me of the movie Junior, if you never saw it check it out you'll laugh even though it's kinda silly. Bella: You are right, we are approaching the climax of the story where our main characters will be faced with their biggest challenge to date. snowleopard: I'm glad you hold out hope for Trent, it seems his initial attitude may have made him a bit too abrasive for some of my readers. You now know he was justified with his hatred for Wren, but perhaps he did not go about it in the correct manner. Mint: new reviewer -- yay! Well, looking back my first story I ever uploaded on this site back in '08 was called Survival and for some reason I had typed it in all capitals. Since then, all my stories have begun with the letter 'S' and to keep with tradition I capitalized them as well. Had no idea anyone would find it as a turn off. preciouslittlehope: new reviewer! Thank you so much for letting me know you enjoy what you are reading. It's funny you would mention it but I did contemplate giving Trent his own sequel story, will have to see how that pans out. loverofyaoi: That would be a pretty awful worse case scenario but you'd be right. Will Treaty: I am so pleased that you see Trent as more than the bad attitude he constantly presents. The healing spell had nothing to do with what happened to Petras. If you all will recall, Dr. Ritch had an interesting diagnosis for Petras's unique problem in Chapter 9, here is a snippet. "This Sillard here is unlike any others. He is not weak of mind therefore, not easily read. I will not query how you came by him for I imagine I would not care to know," Dr. Ritch stated. "I am fairly certain that whatever ails him is self-imposed on a subconscious level." "Truly? You believe he is doing this to himself?" Talnoth didn't hide his surprise at this revelation. "Not willingly; but to alter from one perception of reality to the next likely stems from a traumatizing event in his past; you must get him to reveal to you what triggered these problems in the first place. In the mean time I induced a hypnotic state to create a temporary fix. Then I forged mental barriers around the alternate personality that will keep it at bay. However, the process is easily reversible if the patients' stress levels become elevated. The fact remains that he will never be fully cured unless he confronts his demons of the past. He should wake shortly, I shall see myself out." This would have explained itself in Chapter 16 but too many of the reviews seemed to think that Petras had lost his memory or something else other than a failure of Dr. Ritch's mental barriers holding back the lustful alternate personality which I thought would have been obvious. Clearly, witnessing Wren's arrest was the straw that broke the camel's back. Chapter 16 Review Responses: FuneralRoses: you cracked me up. Petras got Max EXP / and Petras went all Quatre in the Zero-system/ sounds like something from Gundam 00. =p dazedandconfused: In most of these reviews I can see more and more people changing their mind about Trent. He was a very hard character to like at first despite the fact that he is Wren's son. Will Treaty: I'll try not to give Chapter 17 away. But we know that Petras committed crimes in the past but it has yet to be explained exactly what he did. The angst in this story is centered on this situation due to the severity of Petras' crimes. Chapter 17 will explain why Petras feels the way he does as well as feature a flashback of the night of the Incident. Yes, the same incident I've been talking about since Chapter 1 will come to fruition. Snowleopard: Wren has saved the day a few times in the past but let's see how he gets out of this one. oo: Where have you been the last couple of Chapters I thought you abandoned me. lol. Bella: Chapter 17 will explain much of your current confusion. loverofyaoi: and there are more cliffhangers to come I'm afraid. I guarantee that Chapter 17's will be another one. =p amandagrayson: I noticed that sometimes with the review system that the security code won't pop up. If you didn't have to type out a security code then chances are your review will not go through, try to refresh the page before typing it out and hitting review first. Chapter 17 review responses: CTF: Thank you for appreciating the reveal of Petras' back story. We barely got to know the friends for that is something best suited to a prequel of this story. Whether or not he will see Riza again? Even I don't know the answer to this question at this time, that might be something for a sequel. loverofyaoi: You are right about Petras being the shortest VL in history, lol. Sorry if Petras' back story was not what you expected it would be. I know I had hinted in previous chapters that he had potentially hurt or killed those close to him. So the reveal wasn't a big shock I know. However, in the premise of the story it's purpose was to reveal why this character was constantly plagued by angst. And I think that worked in this case. Imagine growing up you had five really close friends and then you murder 4 of them in cold blood unintentionally? That would mess up anyone. Bella: Thank you for your review and I do wish you the best of luck with you biopsy. =) Don't worry about the length of the review I'm simply pleased to hear from anybody. Take care now. With that said I do thank you all for the renewed interest in my story. We are on the home stretch here with the last few chapters. I have begun work on a new story (no it's not a sequel to Salaciousness) that I'm really excited about and hope to begin uploading before summers hits I will continue to update this thread periodically with review responses. Take care now. =) Does it help that I state an upload date within the chapter? Since this site does not notify reviewers of updates I had decided to begin doing so. ETA for Chapter 18 is 05/14/11 EDIT (Sunday July 3rd) - Hi guys, I'm still around. Although I don't have an ETA for next update I do have a working end for this story. I merely have to tie it in with my final battle scene and you will get a new chapter. I know it's hard to stay fresh on a story you began reading months ago when updates slow down. Normally I finish my stories from first update to completion within a few months. So I do apologize since this is unusual for me. But once again I appreciate all the support I got on this title which was the most reviewed and rated of the four stories I have uploaded on this site. The journey Petras and Wren took me on was quite exciting and hopefully I can bring it all together and deliver an ending that is worthy of them. Take care all. =) Review Responses Chapter 18 Ellie: my apologies for the long gap between updates. I'm trying to get myself back in the saddle. So many ideas and thoughts to put to paper but not as much time to sit in front of the computer unfortunately. Marie Valencia: Thank you for your very detailed review. If you recall, Petras was having a nightmare when Riza was first introduced to the story. It was not a flashback, just what nightmares are usually made up of, feelings of dread. I believe I know the sentence you were referring to with Wren. I'll post it below you can correct me if I'm wrong later. The following was taken from Chapter 14 more than halfway through. Once Wren was completely tapped out; he leaned forward to clean his lover’s face... This story isn't first person so the words "tapped out" is really not something Wren would use even in his thought process or speech. That was all me but to tell you the truth I should have worded that differently. Estimated Upload date for Chapter 20 is 08/27/11
  12. Concepcion33

    ...They forgot?

    I agree with this, although I do experience disappointment each time I get emailed a review to find it is from the same person. I long to have multiple reviews from different people. I feel as if I'm receiving more varied feedback that way. My story may impress one person that likes to let me know they appreciate what I've done but it doesn't satisfy the need to reach a much larger audience.
  13. I'm using Windows XP and Firefox, I don't know about my java. When I added chapters in the past I could never get an exported upload to work on this site like it does on fanfiction.net using microsoft word. So I simply used copy and paste. This meant I had absolutely no formatting so I just fixed it to be readable. My chapters are generally long, so I don't know if that's part of the problem. I just want to be able to edit without my chapters turning into this huge unreadable brick which is what happened to Chapter 9 of my story Surreal -- here. http://original.adul...01674&chapter=9 EDIT: If you are available to speak to me in real time, I do have aol and have added your username to my buddy list, let me know when is a good time to contact you.
  14. I can't get this to work. I hit the stop script button then try to edit, it freezes up on me like 20 seconds later and says it's running scripts again. I tried hitting the edit button which messed up my text and turned it into one run-on paragraph. And when I opened the chapter up to once more try to edit it, scripts started running. I have a new story set to upload at the end of the month, is there some way for me to get over this hurdle?
  15. I noticed that same bug earlier, but now when I try to edit, it keeps telling me there are scripts running on the page and times me out. I'm also adjusting to the new posting format for I haven't uploaded anything in several months.