Beware the Ides of March!

Aside from my paranoia as an adult, my parents’ homophobia is likely the only reason they haven’t figured out I’m bi. Hearing your teenage girl singing the chorus of Spill the Wine as “Do I dig that girl? Heh!” probably should have made them question things. Fortunately, Heiferlump just thinks I’m embarrassing; her reaction to me singing is to roll over, grunt, fart, and go back to sleep with her paws over her nose. Cats don’t let you get a big head.
(Yeah. Almost and I just figured out I’ve been singing that wrong all these years. Freud would be clicking his heels with joy over that slip.)

Always love your pets. You never know when you’ll lose them. 

"will-o'-the-wisp happenstance acclivity" or "brown library movement of good fortune compulsion " or  "guesstimate happenstance door " 
Are these spam bots, or just trying to come up with some old style weekly prompts? 

Sleeping naked is the shit when you’re young. Then, one day, you’re middle-aged with a cat who likes sleeping between the sheets and has frigid toes, and you start second guessing everything.
Heiferlump, by the way, wasn’t just thawing out her frosted toebeans on my bare ass. She also kept wiping her cold, wet nose on the ticklish spot between my thigh and cheek every time I dozed off. I’m not ashamed to say I committed the unforgivable crime of yeeting the baby off the bed. I’m not sorry. Kid needs some fuzzy socks or something.