Sparrow

Mortuus Orbis Discussion Thread

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11 hours ago, InvidiaRed said:

Chun-Li manipulates Ki as do almost all street fighters. Which is to say Kikoken is using the ambient life energy around and her own to form the projectile.

It suddenly occurs that I never saw her using that in the animated movie that she’s supposed to technically be from. Would’ve thought it’d come in handy in the fight with Vega… hrm.

Lets just keep going and hope nobody notices.

 

Actually, while you’re here, you mentioned that you enjoyed the final fight scene here. Which is a huge relief, cause the first time we did it JayDee said it wasn’t as good as the first fight between Satsuki and the Hierophant, and I myself sort of agreed that it felt like we’d spent all our best ideas. We redid it into the form you see now. So, what did you like about it? Was there anything in particular?

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4 hours ago, Sparrow said:

It suddenly occurs that I never saw her using that in the animated movie that she’s supposed to technically be from. Would’ve thought it’d come in handy in the fight with Vega… hrm.

Lets just keep going and hope nobody notices.

 

Actually, while you’re here, you mentioned that you enjoyed the final fight scene here. Which is a huge relief, cause the first time we did it JayDee said it wasn’t as good as the first fight between Satsuki and the Hierophant, and I myself sort of agreed that it felt like we’d spent all our best ideas. We redid it into the form you see now. So, what did you like about it? Was there anything in particular?

Satsuki locked eyes with her, steel in her eyes and voice.

“Alexander of Macedon was sixteen when he won his first battle. If anything, I’m behind.”  you can just see her VA saying that.

The acknowledgement by Nighteyes that even the thought of running would be dishonorable when humans are fighting it anyway. Since Engineers genocide everything they find disappointing. to put the magnificence into perspective. Its like spartans watching civilians quite literally taking on a god. Its something a warrior culture would never allow to stand to allow a “inferior” species and one they use to cultivate Xenos en mass to do something that legendary. If Nighteye didn’t fight, it would be an admission that the Yautja are beneath humanity.What I’m trying to say its incredibly lore compliant

“It slumped down, hanging limply from the impaling weapon, the bisected halves of its head flopping open to either side. A few twitches went through its limbs, and then it went still. 

It was dead.”

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3 hours ago, InvidiaRed said:

What I’m trying to say its incredibly lore compliant

For the Yautja perhaps; I got a few complaints from people that Satsuki should’ve atomised the Heirophant with ease, despite the bits I’d put in mentioning how she couldn’t strike at full strength for fear of bringing the whole bunker down on herself.

What do you think about that?

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7 hours ago, Sparrow said:

For the Yautja perhaps; I got a few complaints from people that Satsuki should’ve atomised the Heirophant with ease, despite the bits I’d put in mentioning how she couldn’t strike at full strength for fear of bringing the whole bunker down on herself.

What do you think about that?

Satsuki is an incredible and complex character without a doubt she’s holding back. She’s an apex human at the pinnacle of human power and she makes it clear Junketsu this alien organism that mimics clothing serves her. Not the other way around. Symbiotes such as Venom and even Carnage itself would end up her  bitch.

That said you characterize her perfectly.

While she can absolutely destroy the base she’s absolutely aware that doing so would deprive everyone of this perceived only place of refuge, possibly kill everyone including herself as well as potentially make every threat that this city holds aware of their existence. And the whole party? Team? Cast? they all have no idea whats out there.

These are their first days but they already know this place holds horror and death. She’s perfectly in character cautiously holding back.

I actually disagree, I think you nerfed the Hierophant not SatsukiIts existence implies not just Xenomorphs but an idea of infestation, I do have to ask the character’s aren’t inhaling Chemical A0-3959X.91 – 15 are they? Since that implies anything from the protomorphs and all the nastiness of the engineers genocidal but masterful weaponization of life itself.

 

 

Edited by InvidiaRed
Clarity

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22 hours ago, InvidiaRed said:

I actually disagree, I think you nerfed the Hierophant not Satsuki.

Mm, I think it’s kind of a “big fish, bigger pond” kind of thing. In a modern-day setting, or even a more futuristic one like the original Alien, then this thing would’ve been an utter terror. As you can see when it takes Ash apart without her even hurting it, or how being blown up by Cindy and shot with armour-piercing bullets by Kyle just upsets it for a bit. Even the injuries it inflicted on it by Satsuki and Night Eyes it heals from rapidly. But against something as absurdly overpowered as Satsuki, without the handicap of the situation, it would’ve been crushed in short order.

 

23 hours ago, InvidiaRed said:

I do have to ask the character’s aren’t inhaling Chemical A0-3959X.91 – 15 are they?

Harry was the only one directly exposed to the bioweapon, and indeed, if Tania hadn’t killed him then he probably would’ve transformed into some kind of hideous mutant (or just died) before long, but the Hierophant by itself cannot cause anyone to mutate.

However… the canister of the bioweapon is still out there in the Necropolis somewhere, for who or whatever to stumble across. Perhaps, so is whatever caused it to be brought there in the first place.

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Ok, Satsuki getting marked for the successful hunt like Machiko back in the old Aliens vs Predator novel was an awesome little scene.

Yeah, @JayDee now that I think about it Satsuki has entirely too many similarities to Machiko (reminds me that I really need to read that story at some point, could only find the comic version), minus the whole ‘superpowered sailor suit’ thing. Nothing new under the sun, I guess.

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It is a great story. I hope the two of you are happy with how it came out because for the most part I had a great time reading it.

That means a lot to hear. In truth I wasn’t as happy with this one as I was with the sequel, mainly because of the thing I mentioned a while back with my idea of what I wanted out of the story changing halfway through. Thus the thing with Chun-Li in the first chapter that feels kind of incongruous with the rest of it.

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Favorite character – double one this- Chun Li from the characters I’m familiar with, Satsuki from the ones I’m not.

Chun-Li I expected, but Satsuki is a pleasant surprise. It occurs just how bewilderingly strange her character must be to anyone who hasn’t watched KLK themselves (for instance, they might not know that her transformed appearance is this), so, why would you say she was your favourite? Just out of curiosity.

And in answer to what you and @InvidiaRed said, I’ll definitely try and get around to posting the sequel at some point. Need to have a think about what the tags should be, though. 

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12 hours ago, Sparrow said:

Chun-Li I expected, but Satsuki is a pleasant surprise. It occurs just how bewilderingly strange her character must be to anyone who hasn’t watched KLK themselves (for instance, they might not know that her transformed appearance is this), so, why would you say she was your favourite? Just out of curiosity.

 

 

Just quietly badadss, then much more actively badass when called for. Also the way her attitude is compared to some of the others. Just interesting to see I guess!

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On re-reading I can feel some anger behind it, some heavy brutality. Someone really felt bad for all those Shredder losses.

@JayDee You know, I don’t think I ever actually watched any of the OG TMNT show that this April is ostensibly from. Or indeed consumed much of the setting’s material at all. In fact, now that I think about it I have no idea why I used April in the first place. Huh. Maybe I did know once but I just forgot it. Was about about three or four years ago that I came up with a lot of this stuff, after all.

Though, you’re not far off the mark with anger. IBD, poor fellow, he got very upset when we were writing this. Mainly because I didn’t realise what he was having to go through to get into the right frame of mind, and kept poking him to add some more bits I thought he’d left out. Not my finest hour.

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Uh, I mean, someone was putting art out there to tell the story that needed to be told.

After we finished this story, I remember actually thinking about stuff like what’s in this chapter and wondering if it was really necessary. Think I decided in the end that it was, but there was a lot of stuff (mainly related to the story’s connections to Deathstalker’s OG work this was all based on) that I thought didn’t help. Mainly all the rape-y stuff in part one, which I really wish I’d left out now, even if it did let me do the stuff with Chun-Li. It’s just a bit too grindhouse for me now.

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As for the end I mean, for one, wow. That’s some amazingly drawn out, slowly escalated detailed torture. I bet the folks on DS’s forum loved it, it’s top grade guro. Psychologically, the way it built up with April trying to show defiance all through and breaking in the end – and everyone breaks in the end- was really stunning. Best line was that Nazi Whore one… and April’s still alive and screaming and suffering there.  

I don’t really remember if anyone did comment on this bit on there, actually. I think I only got two people commenting on it, and neither of them mentioned it in particular. Figures.

As for April’s breakdown, yeah, I never considered looking up any details of real-life interrogations like this (cause I have enough trouble sleeping as it is), but I did sort of get the feeling that this is how it’d go in such a situation.

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I know InBrightestDay’s feelings on that kind of content, but if Sparrow enjoys it more you might like to read/review some of my darker stories sometimes.

did, back in the day, though most of them were a bit too gruesome/scary for me. Nowadays I’m not so into that sort of thing, though I do recall recently poking through your take on a Deathstalker-world spinoff (nothing new under the sun) from a long time ago, even though the only character I was really interested in that was Sheeva. Her messy death in that swiftly reminded me of why I’d wanted to disengage these stories from that kink in the first place ( and why I never put in the technically correct but unpleasant detail of people voiding their bowels when they die). Sorry.

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54 minutes ago, Sparrow said:

@JayDee You know, I don’t think I ever actually watched any of the OG TMNT show that this April is ostensibly from. Or indeed consumed much of the setting’s material at all. In fact, now that I think about it I have no idea why I used April in the first place. Huh. Maybe I did know once but I just forgot it. Was about about three or four years ago that I came up with a lot of this stuff, after all.

Come to that, I watched it when I was a kid so it’s gotta have been before your time originally hasn’t it? I forget this stuff!

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Though, you’re not far off the mark with anger. IBD, poor fellow, he got very upset when we were writing this. Mainly because I didn’t realise what he was having to go through to get into the right frame of mind, and kept poking him to add some more bits I thought he’d left out. Not my finest hour.

:(

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I don’t really remember if anyone did comment on this bit on there, actually. I think I only got two people commenting on it, and neither of them mentioned it in particular. Figures.

I keep forgetting too, it’s been years since I was a regular there so it’s probably changed a whole lot. I mean, two seperate comments on a story not by DS? Things have really changed! But aside from that, I expect different users now have different tastes.

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did, back in the day, though most of them were a bit too gruesome/scary for me. Nowadays I’m not so into that sort of thing, though I do recall recently poking through your take on a Deathstalker-world spinoff (nothing new under the sun) from a long time ago, even though the only character I was really interested in that was Sheeva. Her messy death in that swiftly reminded me of why I’d wanted to disengage these stories from that kink in the first place ( and why I never put in the technically correct but unpleasant detail of people voiding their bowels when they die). Sorry.

Funny thing, I’ve had Sheeva in three seperate stories which is probably enough to get her into my “most written about character” top five or so – (HP single fandom not included!). I liked playing her a lot back when MK3 came out I guess. Well, there’s a lot less violence/gore in my Sheeva-and-Sonya starring Shokan Lust and when it does appear it’s not the focus. Eh. Fair enough though, mosta my shit is kinda niche, and poorly written niche at that so worth skipping if ya don’t dig the themes :)

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44 minutes ago, JayDee said:

Come to that, I watched it when I was a kid so it’s gotta have been before your time originally hasn’t it? I forget this stuff!

Oh yeah, way, waaaay before my time. 

45 minutes ago, JayDee said:

I liked playing her a lot back when MK3 came out I guess. Well, there’s a lot less violence/gore in my Sheeva-and-Sonya starring Shokan Lust and when it does appear it’s not the focus.

Oh yeah, now you mention it, I did read some of that a while ago, it was good. Meant to go back and finish it at some point, actually. Liked how you tried to come up with some in-universe explanations for how the characters can do some of the weird stuff they do, like Sonya’s kiss of death. Why’ve you done so much about her, out of curiosity?

48 minutes ago, JayDee said:

poorly written niche at that so worth skipping if ya don’t dig the themes

Lolno. Seriously. Your stuff wouldn’t be half as difficult to read as it is in places if it wasn’t as good as it is. You’ve inspired at least two writers of our acquaintance into doing spin-offs/sequels of your work, one of whom is in your own signature, for crying out loud. I’d give my left hand for that kind of a positive response.

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20 hours ago, Sparrow said:

Oh yeah, now you mention it, I did read some of that a while ago, it was good. Meant to go back and finish it at some point, actually. Liked how you tried to come up with some in-universe explanations for how the characters can do some of the weird stuff they do, like Sonya’s kiss of death. Why’ve you done so much about her, out of curiosity?

Oldschool mortal kombat fan probably! For the Shokan Lust story, someone had read my previous Sheeva-with-a-dick oneshot and suggested the Sonya corruption storyline for the next one. I had about a ten year period where whenever someone suggested something to me I could pretty much write it. Now I’m like “Soundas great! Awesome idea” *Gets nothing done*

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Lolno. Seriously. Your stuff wouldn’t be half as difficult to read as it is in places if it wasn’t as good as it is. You’ve inspired at least two writers of our acquaintance into doing spin-offs/sequels of your work, one of whom is in your own signature, for crying out loud. I’d give my left hand for that kind of a positive response.

I am pretty sure DS only did the first Gogedheh story because someone paid him to do the concept in an actually readable and entertaining form, then the rest were paid for by folks who liked that one he wrote and didn’t know I did something with the character first. Possibly not the best recommendation of the original there :)

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1 hour ago, JayDee said:

I had about a ten year period where whenever someone suggested something to me I could pretty much write it

And naturally I wasn’t around for that. Figures.

Lol, though, as the only other person who’s reading along with this has indicated to me, there is some interest in a spin-off of MO. If you feel interested why not give that a go, fuck it. I’ve basically set up a sandbox anyway (well, more like a sinkhole, in that every fanfic idea I have anymore gets drawn into it), so the framework is there for you.

 

59 minutes ago, JayDee said:

Possibly not the best recommendation of the original there

I disagree, someone at the start actually paid money to see more of the concept. God, you’re as bad as me and IBD, take a compliment, you dingus.

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22 hours ago, Sparrow said:

I disagree, someone at the start actually paid money to see more of the concept. God, you’re as bad as me and IBD, take a compliment, you dingus.

Yeah, but it wasn’t my concept, it was a request fic :)

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Shokan Lust has some good bits, some of the jokes in ‘You!’ aren’t terrible, and there’s also a few scenes in Ending the Fan that came out alright. I kinda have a soft spot for unleash the beast too, just because it’s probably my most plagiarised story. But enough about me now, this is your story discussion thread! We oughta talk your story!

You ever think about introducing a good guy character who is too big to fit in the bunker? Kinda interracting with them outside, but having to face it all alone. A Transformer maybe, or some other big ol’ character.

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28 minutes ago, JayDee said:

You ever think about introducing a good guy character who is too big to fit in the bunker? Kinda interracting with them outside, but having to face it all alone. A Transformer maybe, or some other big ol’ character.

I laughed at that, because

Spoiler

we are gonna use a Transformer in future. Specifically Soundwave, though I’m unsure if you could really consider him a good guy, even if he’ll work with the fleshlings in exchange for shelter and stuff. Though, I hadn’t thought that a lot of what’s out there would really be able to threaten or concern him in any appreciable form. Most of the things out there he can crush underfoot, and it’s not like he can be infected with the zombie plague.

Probably.

That being said, I had considered some characters in future either spending a lot of time wandering the dead city before they’re found, or people from the Bunker willingly going and staying outside for long periods of time for whatever reason. Was never really sure where it could go, though, aside from them just eventually returning. What do you think?

Edited by Sparrow

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I also agree with this comment! I know it’s been a year since y’all did anything, but hopefully you’ll get back into it.

I guess I’d take a break from the main bunker and follow the Doctor’s adventures for a chapter or so, establishing a new base, finding new shoes, maybe meeting some wacky out-of-their-depth victims friends.

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