Praetor

Praetor's Discussion Thread

278 posts in this topic

This is my review thread for all questions, comments, concerns, flames, reviews, suggestions, gripes, complaints or advice etc. concerning me or my fics, as well as for discussing works in progress.
 

Lust and Pixie Dust. After an accident with pixie dust, Terrance awakens with a massive cock and works through Tinkerbell's friends on his way back to her.

 
Big Harem 6. An accident in the Avenger's lab leaves Hiro hung, horny and oddly attractive as he and the gang team with the Avengers and their allies.
 
How to Train Your Overlord. Hiccup finds the remnants of the Tower Heart in some ancient ruins and reassembles them, becoming the new Overlord and setting his eyes on the Disney Kingdoms.
 
How to Ride Your Dragon. How to Train Your Dragon rewritten as a porno. The dragons have ultra busty human forms, all the women dig Hiccup, he's hung like a chandelier, the works.
 
Ben 10: Omniharem. With the power of Alien X, Ben accidentally creates a world where the women of his life are hypersexualized versions of themselves.
 
Naruko's Pact. Naruko sets out to dominate Konoha Highschool with a daemon futadick granted to her by the Goddess of Lust, who she makes a pact with to form a coven for.
 
Ronald Weasley and the Crystal Ball of Carnal Desires.  Ron breaks a crystal ball that turns his life into an erotic fantasy.
Edited by Praetor

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hey there;

Here's my (very delayed) review of the third chapter:

I like the way you're implementing a little bit of the fairies abilities into the smut scenes, in the second it was Vidia's fast-flying abilites in this one Fawn being an animal fairy. It makes them very unique and very sexy.

I also like the way you characterized Fawn here, although It's been a while since I watched the movies, so I don't know how in character she is here. Never the less, she was pretty funny in this.

Overall, another great chapter, can't wait for next time

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you. Next chapter of L&PD is up. Immersion, it took twice as long as usual to write and is half as long as the previous chapters. I don't have an explanation, I actually finished this a while ago and was trying to expand it without making it feel stretched before finally accepting it for what it is. Oh well, the longer I put it off, the more anticipated it will be and the more disappointing when it's finally up. I might expand and revise it later and merely append it. Onto the next venture.

Work has stalled on the Big Hero 6 project because of real life. Excuses, excuses, circumstances and situations etc. I am trying to make headway on that and work has already begun on the next chapter of L&PD. Again, thank you for your patience.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you. Next chapter of L&PD is up. Immersion, it took twice as long as usual to write and is half as long as the previous chapters. I don't have an explanation, I actually finished this a while ago and was trying to expand it without making it feel stretched before finally accepting it for what it is. Oh well, the longer I put it off, the more anticipated it will be and the more disappointing when it's finally up. I might expand and revise it later and merely append it. Onto the next venture.

Work has stalled on the Big Hero 6 project because of real life. Excuses, excuses, circumstances and situations etc. I am trying to make headway on that and work has already begun on the next chapter of L&PD. Again, thank you for your patience.

You're welcome. Just a quick question, I hope you don't mind anwsering, what other challenges you're planning to work on again?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The Mortal Kombat challenge is on hold until I can play the newer games because I don't want to spoil the plots for myself by writing it. I am also wanting to do the How to Train Your Dragon challenges but believe they are being worked on by another so they're not a priority. I want to try the Overlord fic and even did some plot mapping but was unable to develop a format due to the obvious alignment issues of having an evil/grey Overlord make a harem out of heroines and villainesses. Am toying with the TMNT idea, nothing concrete. I wrote a lot of content for the Haunted House story but out of order so I can't upload any of it as is. Although I am thinking of pulling one of the more complete chapters I have written and uploading it as a prologue for Halloween but then I would feel committed to its expedient completion. Those will be as time goes on, as of yet the only ones I am actively working on are the Big Hero 6 and Tinkerbell challenges. Now I know it's insane to ask considering how weighed down I already am, but will you be issuing any more challenges? Just curious.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The Mortal Kombat challenge is on hold until I can play the newer games because I don't want to spoil the plots for myself by writing it. I am also wanting to do the How to Train Your Dragon challenges but believe they are being worked on by another so they're not a priority. I want to try the Overlord fic and even did some plot mapping but was unable to develop a format due to the obvious alignment issues of having an evil/grey Overlord make a harem out of heroines and villainesses. Am toying with the TMNT idea, nothing concrete. I wrote a lot of content for the Haunted House story but out of order so I can't upload any of it as is. Although I am thinking of pulling one of the more complete chapters I have written and uploading it as a prologue for Halloween but then I would feel committed to its expedient completion. Those will be as time goes on, as of yet the only ones I am actively working on are the Big Hero 6 and Tinkerbell challenges. Now I know it's insane to ask considering how weighed down I already am, but will you be issuing any more challenges? Just curious.

Not at the moment

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The next chapter will be posted as soon as it is completed. I don't mean to be snarky but these things take time and I am a busy person. Although I try to update at least monthly, even that has been hit and miss. It doesn't help that progress on all fronts has been reset due to an unfortunate hard drive failure. Which actually wasn't that big a deal for L&PD because I had only just started the next chapter, but I had made a great deal of progress on the Haunted House fic. Although it is well that I lost everything for the Mortal Kombat and Marvel projects as they had undergone so much revision they had to be rewritten from the ground up anyways. Periwinkle won't appear for a few more chapters, 4 to be precise if my plot map holds.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The Mortal Kombat challenge is on hold until I can play the newer games because I don't want to spoil the plots for myself by writing it. I am also wanting to do the How to Train Your Dragon challenges but believe they are being worked on by another so they're not a priority. I want to try the Overlord fic and even did some plot mapping but was unable to develop a format due to the obvious alignment issues of having an evil/grey Overlord make a harem out of heroines and villainesses. Am toying with the TMNT idea, nothing concrete. I wrote a lot of content for the Haunted House story but out of order so I can't upload any of it as is. Although I am thinking of pulling one of the more complete chapters I have written and uploading it as a prologue for Halloween but then I would feel committed to its expedient completion. Those will be as time goes on, as of yet the only ones I am actively working on are the Big Hero 6 and Tinkerbell challenges. Now I know it's insane to ask considering how weighed down I already am, but will you be issuing any more challenges? Just curious.

Hey there.

Just wanted to say I just issued another challenge

Also want to know how the stories you're doing going

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I kind of missed Danny Phantom. I stuck around for the first season and a half before loosing interest in favour of other shows. Now that the internet has made a time capsule out of old TV shows I may revisit it later, not like it was a bad show or anything, I just liked other ones better. I'm still annoyed that I lost all progress on previous fics and am thus slow to start those up again. I finally played MKX (which is awesome, favourite fighting game ever) and have begun working on that project. Figuring out the plot is the hardest part since now there is a time travel storyline. I am working on the Overlord fic but struggling how to format it, mainly trying find the right balance of gratuitous sex, plot advancement, character development and large gory medieval fantasy battles as he grows his dark army pillaging the Disney Kingdoms and traversing moralities. I have a few questions whose answers could help expedite the writing. I would like clarification on the new femboy option in the Big Hero 6 fic, what constitutes a femboy as far as Hiro becoming one? Are the various Ben 10 fics in the same continuity as the other Ben 10 challenges, similarly, is this the same Hiccup from the other two HTTYD challenges? Also, can I get a chapter by chapter review for the Tinkerbell fic? I am still fairly new at this and these fics are primarily for you, so I want to know how I am doing , what you liked/didn't like, where to improve etc. any feedback is appreciated. Thank you for challenging and assisting.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I kind of missed Danny Phantom. I stuck around for the first season and a half before loosing interest in favour of other shows. Now that the internet has made a time capsule out of old TV shows I may revisit it later, not like it was a bad show or anything, I just liked other ones better. I'm still annoyed that I lost all progress on previous fics and am thus slow to start those up again. I finally played MKX (which is awesome, favourite fighting game ever) and have begun working on that project. Figuring out the plot is the hardest part since now there is a time travel storyline. I am working on the Overlord fic but struggling how to format it, mainly trying find the right balance of gratuitous sex, plot advancement, character development and large gory medieval fantasy battles as he grows his dark army pillaging the Disney Kingdoms and traversing moralities. I have a few questions whose answers could help expedite the writing. I would like clarification on the new femboy option in the Big Hero 6 fic, what constitutes a femboy as far as Hiro becoming one? Are the various Ben 10 fics in the same continuity as the other Ben 10 challenges, similarly, is this the same Hiccup from the other two HTTYD challenges? Also, can I get a chapter by chapter review for the Tinkerbell fic? I am still fairly new at this and these fics are primarily for you, so I want to know how I am doing , what you liked/didn't like, where to improve etc. any feedback is appreciated. Thank you for challenging and assisting.

"what constitutes a femboy as far as Hiro becoming one"
Basically Hiro would grow a more feminine body (like having wider hips), which would prompt one of the women to dress him in women's clothes (Like maybe a tube top, a skirt or shorty shorts and stockings). Just a reminder that making Hiro a femboy is optional.
"Are the various Ben 10 fics in the same continuity as the other Ben 10 challenges, similarly, is this the same Hiccup from the other two HTTYD challenges?"
No, they're supposed to be separate stories.
Chapter 4 review: Another great chapter, especially the smut part with Silvermist.
Chapter 5 review: Didn't really like the self-fellatio part, but the sex with the nurses made it up for it. Also enjoyed how more and more people are witnessing Terrence having sex with the other fairies.
Edited by thebooblover

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi, I see you picked my Ben 10: Omni-Babes challenge, here are some details of the fic.

Ben now has full control of Alien X (he gains control in the episode Tennyson vs the Universe) so he ends up accidentally turning every female (who he cares about romantically) into sexy, busty, versions of them selves.

Ben recent uses of the Omnitrix causes him to be hung like a horse.

It will have threesomes as well as a orgy in the end.

Will be blow jobs and tity fucks as well in this as well without being pregnet.

If you have any questions feel free to ask.

All the women can produce milk as well

Edited by Rexfan12345

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Is there any particular order or preference as to who is going first? Is this an actual harem, like are they going to be in a big room for his exclusive pleasure or are they just hit and runs (smash and grabs?). I know megabust is the focus but are there any big butt models in mind for visual reference? Is anal on the table? How much milkplay would you like? Is there a target length for the chapters or lemons? Am I asking too many questions?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Is there any particular order or preference as to who is going first? Is this an actual harem, like are they going to be in a big room for his exclusive pleasure or are they just hit and runs (smash and grabs?). I know megabust is the focus but are there any big butt models in mind for visual reference? Is anal on the table? How much milkplay would you like? Is there a target length for the chapters or lemons? Am I asking too many questions?

You're not asking too many questions, Gwen is the first/main girl and other girls can come in any order you like, it is a harem and yes it will be a big room because he is rich now (it will be an orgy in the end). As for bubble butt models, sizes like Amy Anderssen, Coco Austin, and Kim Kardashian size asses. Yes anal is allowed. It will be a lot of milkplay. Any length is up to you, but maybe 4,000 words is fine by me. Also, Ben is the dominant one in this and his girls are his lovers/sex slaves.

Edited by Rexfan12345

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

What are their dispositions? Are they super horny drooling mouthed porn parodies of themselves whose life desire is Ben's cock no matter the costs or are do they still retain their competency and require coercion for sex? To what extent does the incest angle bother Ben and his family, if at all? Are there any particular threesomes you would like to see?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

What are their dispositions? Are they super horny drooling mouthed porn parodies of themselves whose life desire is Ben's cock no matter the costs or are do they still retain their competency and require coercion for sex? To what extent does the incest angle bother Ben and his family, if at all? Are there any particular threesomes you would like to see?

They are still themselves, but are willing to be submissive to Ben. Ben is bothered at first until Gwen tells him she was in love with him ever since they where kids, The husbands don't know about Ben and their wives at all, threesome would be with Ben, Attea, and Looma.

Edited by Rexfan12345

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

First chapter of Ben 10: Omniharem is up. Read, review and address all grievances here. Literally all feedback and/or suggestions help and would be appreciated. This is my first attempt injecting emotion into a scene so it's probably clunky and awkward but so is sex between cousins so it fits. I wanted to include a flashback to their childhood for grounding but felt that was too Naruto. I hope I have breathed some kind of life into the fantasy and can improve upon them in the future. http://cartoon.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600095130

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My review of Chapter 6 of L&PD: Great chapter as always. Really enjoyed the milf/younger guy dynamic you had with Rosetta and Terence, and also the inclusion of Chloe in the end. Also enjoyed Iridessa's naughtiness and how she convinced Terence to fuck Rosetta and then took pictures of them having sex. Can't wait for the next chapter

Edited by thebooblover

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The first chapter of Omniharem was great. The emotions during the sex were pretty good written I believe.

My only suggestion: all the nicknames for Ben's penis and Gwen's tatas? Those are really funny and I like them, but I think using them once the penetration begins kind of take me out of the moment.

Besides that, I love your writing. Keep being awesome!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

First chapter of Ben 10: Omniharem is up. Read, review and address all grievances here. Literally all feedback and/or suggestions help and would be appreciated. This is my first attempt injecting emotion into a scene so it's probably clunky and awkward but so is sex between cousins so it fits. I wanted to include a flashback to their childhood for grounding but felt that was too Naruto. I hope I have breathed some kind of life into the fantasy and can improve upon them in the future. http://cartoon.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600095130

Really great job and can't wait to see more.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you all for the words of praise. I have no idea how the uncle/grandpa Max mix up slipped through numerous edits and revisions and I will be more wary of wording when it comes to the intense lovemaking parts of the lemons in the future. Now how does Gwen feel about Ben forming a harem, and is there anyone in particular you all would like to see next?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you all for the words of praise. I have no idea how the uncle/grandpa Max mix up slipped through numerous edits and revisions and I will be more wary of wording when it comes to the intense lovemaking parts of the lemons in the future. Now how does Gwen feel about Ben forming a harem, and is there anyone in particular you all would like to see next?

No problem, totally understand how you feel about edits and revisions. As to how Gwen feels about a harem, she doesn't mind because she is very kinky and doesn't mind sharing Ben, as for the next girl. Julie should be next and if you need any ideas let me know.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If you have any ideas, share them. Redundancy is by far the biggest issue with harem fics. After a few chicks, it all seems very indifferent.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I would love to see Ben's mom having sex with him, but that brings the issues of cheating and if is just like a "one night stand" or does she becomes a regular in the harem. So that can a be sort of complicated.

Oh and Lucy Mann, I find her very attractive.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If you have any ideas, share them. Redundancy is by far the biggest issue with harem fics. After a few chicks, it all seems very indifferent.

With Julie, she has broken up with him in the series, but in the universe Ben created she becomes more submissive and is still his girlfriend. Ben is confused with her behavior and eventually accepts it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest
You are commenting as a guest. If you have an account, please sign in.
Reply to this topic...

×   You have pasted content with formatting.   Remove formatting

  Only 75 emoticons maximum are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor