magusfang

thought of the day

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A WORLD WITHOUT WOMEN WOULD BE A PAIN IN THE BUTT

IF YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND THAT, THEN YOU ARE TO YOUNG TO BE ON THIS SITE!

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Dear Algebra,

Please stop asking us to find your X

She's never coming back and don't ask Y

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If I go online and see that your profile picture is a car, I'm going to assume you are a Transformer!

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I don't trust joggers.

they are always the first to find the body

I mean I'm no detective byt...

just sayin...

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Assholes on Parade by Timbuk 3

It’s an asshole celebration and they’re all out on the street

See them on the sidewalk, oh hear those shufflin’ feet

As twenty thousand assholes do an asshole promenade

Step aside good people it’s the assholes on parade

We got the assholes for freedom, the assholes for fun

The assholes for Jesus and the assholes for guns

The assholes for justice, the assholes for crime

And the assholes for assholes, the assholes of all time

Assholes makin money, they’re makin all the rules

Takin all our jobs and they’re fillin up our schools

Assholes in the water, assholes in the sky

Sign that says help wanted only assholes need apply

Oh teacher won’t you tell me,

Have I really made the grade

Am I the head of the class

Or just another asshole on parade

Assholes give the orders and assholes row the boat

Assholes get elected ‘cause assholes get to vote

I once heard it said that old asshole never die

They just lay in bed and multiply

Assholes in the morning, assholes every night

Assholes to the left and assholes to the right

As twenty thousand assholes do an asshole promenade

Step aside good people, it’s the assholes on parade

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I want you to know that somebody cares

It's not me!

But I'm sure there is somebody out there...somewhere......ok maybe not....

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What if I was a woman trapped in a man's body

But didn't realize it because I was a lesbian!

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militaryfuneral-1.jpg

si post fata venit gloria non propero

(If glory follows death, I can wait.)

Edited by magusfang

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There should be one of these on every street corned!

Edited by magusfang

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No matter how many mistakes you make or how slow you progress, you are still way ahead of everyone who isn’t trying

Stivers-3-21-04-Failure-300x222.gif

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If it's bigger than you, run from it;

if you can't run from it, then make friends with it.

if it won't be your friend, kill it;

if you can't kill it, at least don't scream when it eats you

it's undignified!

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93434191-einstein-tongue_custom-36fb0ce3

Imagination is more important than knowledge

Knowledge is limited

Imagination encircles the world.

- Albert Einstien

Edited by magusfang

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In case you're wondering why you should never laugh at a live dragon!

I'm thinking this is definitive proof of dragons too!

bigfoot.0.jpg

I mean this is proof of bigfoot right? Has to be accurate, look at his widdle weeny! :Eye:

Edited by magusfang

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My Favorite Sex Laws

1: Oral sex is illegal in 18 states, including Arizona

That’s just depressing!

2: In Virginia it is illegal to have sex with the lights on

Just how ugly are these girls?

3: In Willowdale, Oregon, it is illegal for husband’s to talk dirty during sex

So in Virginia it’s illegal to see them, and here to talk to them,

well that’s two of the monkeys!

4: Sex between unmarried couples in Georgia is illegal

So is that premarital sex or a foursome?

5: Engaging in any sexual position other than missionary is illegal in Washington D.C.

So Congress is breaking the law when they tell you to bend over and take it!

6: In Connersville, Wi, it is illegal for a man to shoot off a gun when his female partner is having an orgasm

So can she shoot off the gun, and does that include when his “gun” goes off?

7: In Harrisburg Pennsylvania it is illegal to have sex with a truck driver in a toll booth

But what if you don’t have exact change?

8: Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal in Florida

I just don’t know what to say to that…

9: In Utah it is illegal to marry your first cousin before the age of 65

So patience IS rewarded!

10: Sex with animals is perfectly legal for men in Washington state, as long as the

animal in question weighs less than 40 pounds

So put that sheep on a diet!

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World Cup Quote (That's right, I folded - don't judge me!)

"We lost because we didn't win."

-Renaldo (Brazilian Linker, evidently he only has one name, like Madonna)

I think that about covers it. Another one I liked.

"Football is a simple game, 22 men chase a little ball around a field for three hours and in the end, the Germans win!"

Collin Brent (English Defender)

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