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SilvarMegami

Silvar Megami Review Replies (if it works why change it?)

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ok replies for Vernon's Big Mistake

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Rainbow12004

i like it so far. I can't wait to see what happen next.

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Thank you I hope you enjoyed the rest of the story.

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yil

was a interesting story that I don't think I have read like it before. The sex scenes are pretty good as you said it was your first time. I look forward to where you see this story going.


Yil

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Thank you I hope you enjoyed the rest of the ride as much as or more than the begining.

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kit

It is an interesting story. Sometimes a little strange with how things are playing out, but the plot has definitely captured my attention. I'm curious to see how it all pans out; who aligns themselves with who, and what certain groups goals are, how characters develop, etc. lemon scenes are pretty good, even if it is your first time writing them...they may need a bit more detail to give the reader a better perception, but overall you get the point. not a huge fan in the group orgies, but thats an insignificant fact. I do enjoy the quick updates! I was also satisfied with the punishments handed out to the Dursley's.

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Thanks I hope you liked the rest of the story and I hope you look for more of my stuff in the future.

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Emily

Formatting is huge distraction. New font difficult to read for sight-impaired people and for people reading on small-format equipment. I got a headache immediately. Will not be reading any more of this story. Have you ever noticed that such a font is usually reserved for such items as have small amounts of text, like invitations, etc? There is a reason for that. Keep experimenting if you must, but this particular change was a dud.

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Actually I think the problem was that the font was so small but I have changed it so you should be happy

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Mashkai

Lovely story! I like it thus far and am looking forward to more. Thanks for sharing!

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Thanks you for the compliment I hope you like the rest as well.

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Rebecca Louise Crowther

Please only post with the normal font because I can barely read it and I'm sure that I'm not the only one. Other than that great story loving it keep up the good work. :)

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That is the font that I write in it is the font I prefer to read in I can only do so much but I have changed it since you and another brought it to my attention.

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Calixandria_420

I really love the story. It has several new concepts and they're cool.


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Some of those concepts are things that I have been looking for in a fic for a LONG time but have never found….Oh well thank you though. ^ . ^


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RogueMudblood

Please obtain a beta.

They will help you with issues in your writing, such as capitalizing "screaming" when it is in the middle of a sentence, using the numeral "13" instead of "thirteen" in prose, abbreviating "doctor" as "Dr" within prose, not using the direct address comma, not using a period at the end of a sentence, and other technical concerns.

I'm not saying you don't have an interesting idea. I am suggesting that you would benefit from a little guidance in developing your technique.

Happy writing.

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I have a beta he has very little time and as I originally said in the first chapter you can go over a fic many times and still have problems I do my best My beta does his best. But even between the two of us we still have mistakes missed. As for Numbers i and abbreviations Numbers are easier to write as13 the thirteen. And the ‘Dr’ is mostly because I spent 5 years using it while taking messages at my old job.

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Anon

was a great story but seems like you lost it at the end

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Yeah I wasn't happy with the end either. That is one thing I have trouble with ENDINGS of a story…. they get rushed……... So I'm redoing it.

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Numbers rather than numerals distract the reader from your story. My brain has to translate a symbol, such as 13 or "Dr" into a word, which slows me down.

I understand how you can miss things reading over your own work, and that's why you utilize the services of a beta; however, I would highly recommend obtaining another one who has the time to go over things at the pace that you wish to update. I say this because uploading something which is below the standard that you wish to present turns readers off of your work.

Random capitalization turns me off your work as well, and the site has an RTE box, so you can easily use italics in order to apply emphasis to a word or phrase. Example - you felt it necessary to randomly capitalize the word "numbers" in your response to me above.

This is what you have:

I have a beta he has very little time and as I originally said in the first chapter you can go over a fic many times and still have problems I do my best My beta does his best. But even between the two of us we still have mistakes missed. As for Numbers i and abbreviations Numbers are easier to write as13 the thirteen. And the ‘Dr’ is mostly because I spent 5 years using it while taking messages at my old job.

This is how it should appear (I've emboldened and underlined the changes):

I have a beta. He has very little time, and as I originally said in the first chapter you can go over a fic many times and still have problems. I do my best. My beta does his best. But even between the two of us we still have mistakes missed. As for numbers and abbreviations, numbers are easier to write as 13 than thirteen. And the ‘Dr’ is mostly because I spent 5 years using it while taking messages at my old job.

I'd also like to address your argument - it is much easier for me to type a word than a number. I use ten-key extensively, but when I'm composing a story, my fingers are on the alpha keys, and I have to reposition my hand in order to reach the numerals. It is far simpler for me to use the word thirteen and takes much less time than moving my hand over to the ten-key pad on my board and keying 13.

I will also say that using your previous work experience as an excuse for lazy writing is a turn off to your work. Your response to me lacks punctuation, which is a poor display to your readers. I realize I'm being blunt here, but you need to understand that this is a presentation of your writing skill just as much as your story, and if I'm not intrigued by what I see here, I won't be impressed by your story.

Allow me to provide a scenario for you: If you purchased a book with the glaring errors in your own work, and the author offered as excuse that their editor simply wasn't fast enough for their tastes, would you purchase another book by that author?

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Fucking hell I had this whole reply typed out and the stupid mouse hit one of my bookmarks bar options instead of the spell check.

I do go over my work and take out glaring mistakes I assure you. I go over it several times before posting. however as I am human and my beta is human we miss things. He went over my first chapter then I reread it and I still found mistakes, his response to me was he is only human. My response to you is I am only human. I have to write the way I feel. AND if I emphasize with caps instead of bold it's cause that is how I FEEL. Also think of it this way to bold I either have to use my mouse OR I have to ctrl+b type Ctrl+b to cap I press shift you say it's easier to type out thirteen I say it;s easier to type 13 you say its easier to Ctrl+b type Ctrl+b I say its easier to CAP.

And I will say to you what I always longed to say to my boss "you want a fucking machine to write or work for you GOOD LUCK FINDING ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I also challenge you to find one that is creative and thinks for itself and has good and interesting ideas.

All I care about in a fic is that it is interesting had good ideas has decent spelling and does not miss too many words and has grammar that isn't too fucked up. I do my best most of what I do is Damn good considering the BAD that is out there nitpicking my personal preferences or my ingrained habits isn't going to change them I'M working on the habits leave the preferences alone. I will say to you that if there was not so much bad I would work to a higher standard but I also have not had grammar classes in over... well almost 30 years I do what I can.

I will tell my Beta that if he really thinks my caps should be bold then he can change them, and if I use short hand he can change it and if I use numbers instead of letters he can change it but I will not change it myself cause then I won't GET ANYTHING DONE. I am more interested in getting my ideas out and legible then I am worrying about other people's nitpicking.

If it is readable with out truly glaring mistakes I will post it.

As to those mistakes in my responses if I don't know I'm making them how can I fix them? I do it to the best of my ability and that is ALL I CAN DO!!!

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Stupid thing can't understand that I wanted SEPARATE posts?

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BAFan
An interesting story, but I agree with Rogue, above, that it and you would benefit from having a beta. Several of the suggested changes at Hogwarts made a lot of sense, such as having reserve players for Quidditch as well as more than one teacher per subject. And, of course, getting rid of Binns!
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I said before that My beta is working hard to catch up however he only has weekends as he works 10-14 hours a day. And on weekends he has lots of stuff to do. My other betas either never get to it, or say “It’s good” and leave it at that, or they read it and don’t give me any thing (even the fact that they read it)
Edited by SilvarMegami

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But you don't capitalize the whole word, you capitalize a letter. It therefore appears random and inept.

However, this debate is easily settled: I will no longer read your work. Take that as you wish, but it is a simple fact that I will not enjoy a story wherein I'm constantly mentally correcting the grammar, punctuation, and other nuances. When I read for leisure - yes, even on this site - I look for stories which show a certain level of ability, or a writer's desire to grow.

You've made it clear you are happy with the skill you already have, and don't wish to change any of the issues that you have in your writing. You've given several excuses for your mistakes, indicating to me that you choose not to accept concrit. That's your prerogative.

Understand, however, that by posting work which has such errors in it and refusing to fix them, you are simply asking for readers to repeatedly comment on the same mistakes.

By the by, all caps is considered screaming. It's impolite and bad form at best.

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Well sorry for not being perfect. I do the best I can and work at improving and understand that I have a problems with capping the first or first and second letter of a word by accident. I am working on that and don't do it nearly as much as I used to it is one of the reasons I write. Actually I used to by accident randomly cap within a word as well.

All I was saying was that I'm not perfect and I make mistakes I am working on fixing them with the help of my very busy beta who is really the only one I would trust to beta. I will not ask a random person to beta. Especially since I have heard Horror stories about betas who usurp the work of the person by changing and expanding the story and trying to take control of it.

I have over the last few years worked very hard at getting better at writing. There was a time when I would write a story and even I could not understand what I was trying to convey. I have gotten better.

I'm sorry if you think that my saying that I'm working on it is me saying that I'm not doing anything. But for me it takes time and practice. Next fic will be better, but this one once it is beta'd and then gone over again by me will be finished. It is the best of my current ability and I think it is the best I have done yet. yYou can got to FFN under my same name and see one of my older stories. Even if I never finished it cause I lost my out line.

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I think the problem is that while you may work at improving, your replies above do not come across as such. You seem defensive and to be giving excuses for why things are as they are, instead of accepting the advice in the spirit it is meant as: to help you improve.

For example, you give reasons for typing out numbers rather than words, but the point stays that it is distracting to the reader. Perhaps it's easier to type out '12' than 'twelve', and in a first draft, that would be okay. The aim is just to get the chapter written out, after all. A first draft is a rough draft.

However, it would benefit the reader--and thus you--a lot if either you or a beta went over it after that first draft is done and changed the numbers to words. Same for abbreviations like 'Dr' instead of 'doctor'. Fine to use them in a rough, first, draft--but please do filter them out before uploading. It makes it a lot nicer to read, because my mind can stay focused on the story, instead of 'translating' numerals and abbreviations.

Now, I know you say your current beta is (too) busy and that you do not just trust a random person as beta. That's understandable, betas are people too and they also have lives of their own. However, some things you can change on your own before passing it off to a beta, such as looking through it to see if there are any numbers that should be words, or giving the commas and periods a quick look-over. Maybe you miss a few things here and there which still fall on your beta's platter, that's no problem. It's why people have betas, after all--to catch those pesky mistakes, typos, grammatical issues and punctuation problems the writer didn't catch themselves.

However, betas--especially busy betas--miss things too. Everything you have already corrected before passing the fic to your beta is something they can't read over while correcting. You say you write to your current best ability. I say you can be even better. By giving your fic another look-over before sending it to your beta and correcting the short-cuts used during writing if and as you come across them.

Edited by SillySilenia

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When I first posted the fic I did not realize that people would have such a problem with numbers... I also did not think about things like Dr. I wanted to get it out and I was not sure if I was going to even send it to my beta as it is a mature fic.... After I sent it to my beta and realized that he would take awhile I decided that I would go over the fic the best I could and then post it and when he was done I would repost it after going over it again. I have beta'd it my self several times and each time I have gone over it I have improved it some each time.

I do do the all caps words mostly because I hat bolding, my other reason is because I've had problems with some ficsite editors (FFN) stripping out things that I want in my fics......

They have stripped out bold and italics and my part separators and I HATE that so I got in the habit of capping instead of bolding. My beta was changing it I don't know if he still is since I told him that I've had trouble with FFN stripping out the bold and stuff.

I was just telling people to be patient and that my beta was working on it but I will not change it till my beta is done.

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To address the comment about the 'stripping out' of formatting - on this site, this is how to prevent that:
How To Add A Story using RTE

In regards to not knowing the rules of writing:
Useful/Helpful Links

There is an entire section of the forum dedicated to help writers who want to learn how to become better:
Writers' Corner

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