MorbidFantasy

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  1. MorbidFantasy

    Metroid - the Bergman Affair feedback, comments, and workshopping

    Well hello there, blast from the past! How serendipitous that I decided to check my email after 2 years of neglect only to see some action happening in this thread. I recently started doing some reviewing and brainstorming for continuing FMC after having set it aside for a while due to irl stuff. Any chance you’ll get around to continuing Pride and Politics?
  2. MorbidFantasy

    Metroid - the Bergman Affair feedback, comments, and workshopping

    How very Westworld of you, lol #fidelity.
  3. MorbidFantasy

    Metroid - the Bergman Affair feedback, comments, and workshopping

    The fuck is this thread turning into lol, let’s not bring the horrors of the real world into this and just enjoy the vicarious horrors of fiction space, plox. Besides, even reality can be stranger than fiction, so who’s to say that a character left turn won’t make sense on some level?
  4. MorbidFantasy

    Metroid - the Bergman Affair feedback, comments, and workshopping

    I will say the thing I like the most about Pride and Politics thus far is the comparatively beefier salvation arc. Reins of the Tomb Raider was and is a good read, but Sam/Himiko’s literal Deus Ex Machina kinda dictated a truncated ending. As always, the choice of the MC’s dressage is impeccable. Loved the pony-girl in Reins, and the bird getup here is a nice lore reference to Samus’s origins.
  5. MorbidFantasy

    Tomb Raider: Fat Man Chronicles, review and discussion thread.

    Damnit lol I actually meant 8pm. Originally I had 2200 hours and 10pm but changed it down to 8pm but didn’t edit the description properly. This is what happens when the chapter is written at 3am on the last legs of coffee. Will be fixed promptly.
  6. MorbidFantasy

    Tomb Raider: Fat Man Chronicles, review and discussion thread.

    Chapter 44-46 “The Arab Prince #2-4” is up, here are the comments. In the new updates, I definitely borrowed a lot of ideas from HunterOpera’s Reins of the Tomb Raider fic. The use of Lara’s title of “Duchess” as a pet name, the cavity search, and the pony tail, although I did have a kitten tail in a much earlier chapter (which was posted ages ago) I haven’t written it yet, but the introduction of the tail might be leading up to some sort of pony-girl scenario, let me know if if you guys would like to see something like that. A long time ago, I had posted rough drafts for “The Arab Prince” which included a scene with Lara and Prince Adil of house Saud. That scene is still relevant to the current narrative, and will take place sometime after Lara arrives at Samir’s summer palace. Adil’s bio as detailed in an earlier post in this thread is still the same. He’s Samir’s nephew, and is more morally upright than most of the male characters in this story (although I’m not going to make him a hero or a saint) Let me know what scenes you guys would like to see Samir impose on Lara. I have two chapters in the pipe being worked on to complete the sea voyage part of this arc, to lead into Lara’s second week in Trellick’s service. Cheers.
  7. MorbidFantasy

    Tomb Raider: Fat Man Chronicles, review and discussion thread.

    Chap.42 There’s a hidden element of the supernatural in this chapter that I revealed in chap44, where it is shown that sources of the blue energy have the ability to alter people’s behavior. Also, 44 reveals that Natla’s consciousness is having some control over the blue energy, and may actually be trying to accomplish something using Lara. It’s kinda of like how Hanson and Lara only spent less than a hour total over 3 days inside the temple but somehow he hallucinated fucking Lara, marrying her, and taking over her life and professional prestige. Basically, the blue energy can influence people into action, but can cause some people to trap themselves in an imagined reality, while physically becoming enthralled to the blue energy. I’ll try to be clear in the writing what scenes are being imagined and what scenes are in the real world. Chapt43 I’ve been trying to take Gordo in this netorare direction as a character (in this instance, the netorare partner Lara is being stolen away from is her figurative marriage to her archaeological profession). Because there’s more erotic value to having new men torment Lara in new ways, I’ve decided to dial back Gordo’s BDSM role for now. You’re completely right about the number of cocks. After a while the number looks meaningless, although I promise there’s some meaning to it.. I tend to bounce around between M/F and Multi/F chapter to chapter just to change things up. Currently, I’m trying to set a tempo of more scenes with Lara and only a few people punctuated by occasional spikes in participants. Some of Lara’s masters will have very little sexual interest in her, instead using her to further their own aims. Trellick is one example of this. Yeah, in the coming chapters I’m going to try to put Lara in situations where she can flex her professional skills. Thanks for the feedback, it’s good for me to have a gauge on what story elements appeal to readers.
  8. MorbidFantasy

    Tomb Raider: Fat Man Chronicles, review and discussion thread.

    Chapter 44: Ohk Eshivar is up I actually got the idea for this chapter from a much earlier draft for the Dig chapters (Hanson’s arc with Lara inside the temple) The “philosopher stone” is still very much its own entity, but is connected/related to the blue eitr from Tomb Raider: Legend’s plot. However, Natla’s consciousness has somehow merged with the blue energy, now sharing space with the stone and altering its directives. The opening scene of 44 is taken from the dialogue from “Lara’s Shadow” DLC. This chapter was the solution to some of the writers block I’ve been suffering from which was how to tie everything together cohesively without accidentally writing in a bunch of conflicting backstory. The Arab Prince arc is about to commence, so this chapter serves to introduce or mention some of its players: Trellick, nicknamed “Mr. Interpol” by Lara, recognized her by name but not by face in their first meeting. Damian, ex-pat from Texas, works for Trellick in his illegal arms business. Takashi “The Otaku” Takamoto- This character I had a lot of fun planning because it helps with the revelation that Gordo is a big fat liar, and half the stuff that comes out of his mouth is make belief. The call back to McGee “KingMcGee” from the chapters I wrote 10 years ago was also fun to include. In case some of you missed it, Takashi was one of the prison “guards”, and the baton he used to violate Lara in the prison arc is the same baton crafted from the Shogo’s broken staff. Shogo Takamoto- play TR: Legend for his bio or watch the cutscenes on youtube. His backstory is the same except here he didn’t die and he’s Takashi’s father. Prince Samir- mentioned in this chapter which will tie into his appearance in the chapters to come. Chapter 45: The Arabic Prince #1: False Flag Operation is up I really enjoyed fleshing out Trellick and Damian, and will be filling in their backstory as we go along. Kitty and Anika also get small speaking roles. Gordo is spending this chapter hanging out with his coworkers Takashi and Vladim, butting heads but maybe sharing ideas.
  9. MorbidFantasy

    Metroid - the Bergman Affair feedback, comments, and workshopping

    It’s on Amazon Kindle. There’s a few more scenes, and some plot details have been changed.
  10. MorbidFantasy

    Metroid - the Bergman Affair feedback, comments, and workshopping

    Fantasies of rape falls into the same category as every other dark fantasy. I can watch John Wick and be enthralled by the gunplay but that wouldn’t make me walk into a nighclub and start shooting at the security. I write non-con rather frequently but never have I actually raped anyone. This is about relegating the immoral thoughts to fantasies so that we can behave morally in real life. Thought does not equal crime. As to this fic’s fidelity to Samus’s canonical personality (been watching Westworld, have I), the Metroid writers regularly play hopscotch with Samus being a badass or her being every feminine game character cliche, so I think we have a lot of leeway here. Good to see you back Hunter, I liked the changes you made in the remastered version of Reins.
  11. MorbidFantasy

    Tomb Raider: Fat Man Chronicles, review and discussion thread.

    Chaper 43: Assignment Two: Maritime Interlude is up And oh my word the number of typos and editing snafus that I found immediately after posting. I think I’ve cleaned most of it up. Listening to a text to speech rendition of the chapter was very helpful with the typos. I know I had introduced a new character called Anika in an old Arab Prince draft that I’m no longer sharing in this thread. In that draft, it was Anika that was supposed to star in chapter 42 as the one who breaks Lara down. Needless to say, Chapter 42 ended up being very Xavier-centric instead. Anika is still in the story, but I’ve decided to put her in the background for now for narrative brevity. Hopefully her character will get some better scenes in the future.
  12. MorbidFantasy

    Tomb Raider: Fat Man Chronicles, review and discussion thread.

    I apologize for coming off as disingenuous back in December when I said “I’m back”. When I said that, I really did have a draft that was 80% finished. Needless to say, that particular draft never resolved itself, so this is me saying “I’m back” officially. Chapter 42: Last Week In Peru is up, spoilerish comments to follow In addition to the normal feedback, I’m open to suggestions or predictions (the two aren’t mutually exclusive) regarding what happens next. At least three times in the writing of FMC, I’ve went back to the drawing board after discussions with a reviewer or after having read the works of some of my favorite authors on AFF. Smut writing really is about finding the balance between what turns me and the readers on and how far I can twist things before the logic fails. Looking forward to any input. I get that its’ been ages since the last update, but I still get the occasional email asking if I’m alive or writing, so here’s me shouting out to the support. From Extraction on June 26, 2018 ok this is trash Welp, that took no time at all lol.
  13. MorbidFantasy

    Tomb Raider: Fat Man Chronicles, review and discussion thread.

    I’m back. Been writing sporadically. There’s quite a bit of text in the graveyard right now. The problem of updating this fic over several years is the inevitable continuity issues that crop up. Some of them are easily soft ret-conned, but others directly impact the final arcs of what I had imagined. The Arab Prince arc will still be up next, but there will be a fair bit of tweaking to it.
  14. MorbidFantasy

    Metroid - the Bergman Affair feedback, comments, and workshopping

    Just got back on AFF, caught up with Pride an Politics. Liked mostly everything about it. Made me remember (and revisit) your graphics on deviantart. It’s interesting the tweaks to the physical narrative when comparing the written work to the deviantart modeling. My favorite chapter out of your breadth of work is by far “Duchess Dressage”. That’s a chapter that I keep coming back to for the vivid step by step illustration. A fairly minor detail that bugged me is the missing description of a catheter appendage in the vaginal dildos. Anatomically it would make more sense to include that detail especially since your subjects (Lara during crate transport, Samus in PnP) seem to have had the choice of when to urinate taken away from them. As to what I’ve been up to regarding my Fat Man fic, There were several false starts over the past year+ where I wrote experimental arcs that I wasn’t happy with. I think I know what I want to do with the Arab Prince arc now. The irony is the ending 3 location arcs are so locked in stone that it actually affected what I could introduce or build in previous chapters without ending up with a bunch of loose ends.