Tcr

Chapter 23 (Worth the Risk) is posted for your reading enjoyment.

Chapter 22 (Good Enough Bait) is posted.

Chapters 20 (A Way Out) and 21 (Live One) posted.

Here, I thought I was the only one who did that. I have a weird pattern going on. I will write some stuff completely on paper and have it red lined and worked on repeatedly before I go to the computer. Other things, I type out and maintain that. And, as others have said, occasionally for me, it depends where I am. If I don't have my laptop, but something strikes me that goes beyond simple notes, I'll write on whatever I can. (I have asked for a blank piece of printer paper while waiting in a doctor's office and while being in the hospital recovering... I am not too proud to beg for paper! I did get interesting looks, though.)

Chapter 19 (Taste of Death But Once) is posted.

Okay, as usual, I'm late to the party... lol. As you're my beta, you kind of know how I write... But… For me, my writing is usually as a scene plays in the head. The movie plays upstairs and the fingers type it out. Sometime not for the better. As for what actually occurs, that depends largely on what I want to convey in the chapter ahead (YAY 1 for kind of but not really planning ahead!!!) Even in that opening, it's different all round. One can be all about the atmosphere, dark or otherwise, and thus starting with a depressive news or something similar that I try to permeate the rest. Others just the city surroundings to lay the groundwork. (Shamelessly, I do love the beginning of CHHW...)... Did I just ramble? I'm good at rambling random rambles randomly.

Well, been a while since having to crack fingers here… A two-fer from SinfulWolf (which, btw, thank you so much for), both on Hunted: From SinfulWolf on July 30, 2018 I'll be doing another review later when I finish everything, but wanted to leave something for the first chapter to partially let you know you have a new reader. First off I'd like to mention that I rather enjoyed this as an opening. Set a bit of the state with bits of information, but not large info dumps that would have been boring. Small ones sure, and they might have been able to be trimmed down a touch... but it still worked here as establishing the setting. I think my only real complaint for this chapter was the fight. It was so one sided and quick that I wasn't entirely sure why she was running and hiding in the first place. Perhaps because she tapped into that blood rage? If so I think it needs to be made just a bit more clear. Still, greatly looking forward to reading the rest of this. Quite excited for it, gore and all. I owe a vast majority of those ‘small’ info dumps (and this is a compliment, because I have a tendency to include massive info dumps...) to my beta there. She’s constantly been getting me to cut back on some of the information I throw down and intercut it with the rest of the novel instead of in one eighty-line paragraph (...exaggeration, yes, but I’m sure it feels like that sometimes). Admittedly, as you’ve said, the fight was one sided and that was intentional on my part, but perhaps too one sided. It was intended to introduce the concept of the bloodrage in there, not to mention the Guard and Idun and Cheyenne, but also to show that a lack of cohesion within the group does lead to a rather quick and bloody end. Although, as you said, probably would have been good to expand on that. AND: From SinfulWolf on July 30, 2018 Well... now I need to wait it seems. I'll be patient, I'm slow enough with my own work to pester others. But I rather enjoy this story. I like the growing relationship between the three. I love that you didn't go for a typical love triangle and that you're exploring a polyamourous relationship. There's so very few of those I find (Granted I am new to this site). I love the touch of history and using the Varangian Guard as the vampire hunters in the setting. It's also quite a switch, especially to vampire fans, to have the hunters being the 'villains'. And they are downright villainous. Some readers might not like this, but this is definately a "mileage may vary" kind of moment on how to portray the antagonists. So things I've noticed though. Careful with the use of Gods' names. Later on you were using proper Roman Gods (Juno, Venus, etc.), but earlier you were using Greek Gods (Zeus being the first one to pop out at me). I really like that you're being very graphic with the violence. Love it. Vampires should be brutal, bloody, killing machines. And you've captured that with the arm rippings, decapitations, and disembowelments. It's fuckin awesome. My only real recomendation for the action scenes would be to perhaps slow down a touch. Sometimes there's so much happening, and your offering sometimes rather similar descriptions, that it can be difficult to see exactly what's happening. Put a little weight into the fights and kills, cause I'd really like to see what you come up with. Another small thing I've noticed is that most characters who are straight in this story seem to be completely and utterly bigoted. Again, its your story, so I don't want you to change stuff there if that is your intention, but it is certainly something I've noticed and became somewhat glaring later on. Especially with the introduction of Shy's ex. It's a bit over the top, and I think some inclusion of more subtle bigotry can also really help sell the story of these three leading ladies as well. All in all, quite enjoying your three characters. The different kinds of strengths and vulnerabilities they show, how they interact with one another. And I do quite enjoy the sex when it does show up. But story is queen here, and I'm in for the long haul. Looking forward to the next installment! Well, I’m glad to hear that you’re enjoying it, firstly. And I’m glad you like the interactions and growing relationship between the three. I was absolutely worried that I would have botched it drastically. It’s a first venture into the polyamorous relationship dynamic, so it’s been one of those worrying things ;). I do have a tendency to write in a more flipped expectations idea (ie: everyone’s heroes are the villains, et cetera), and I certainly love putting that spin on things. I admit, I did come across the alternating Greek/Roman mythological names and corrected them in the master file. As for the fights and violence, I’ve been told that the graphic natures of them are among some of my better work (and I have to agree). And I certainly love the unabated violence that can be portrayed within them; I tried to use the violent tendencies of the Varangian Guard as a foil to the attempted gentler (well, when not provoked) nature of Lucretia and the rest. For the hetero characters, I admit, I wasn’t too sure about what you meant, so I went back through and read over it again. You do have a point here, though I never actually thought about it. Indeed, I had almost forgotten about the Twobears until I read it again. Rita was always written to be bigoted (and kind of based off someone I formerly worked with… The ‘I accept everyone until I’m alone with people, then I’m a phobe, racist, et cetera). Although, that didn’t quite come off as much as I had hoped, so you have a point with the subtlety (which, I admit, I’m not great at writing...). Cheyenne’s ex was just a written jab at someone else I know, BUT we won’t go into that. But yes, definitely have to work on the subtlety aspect… And thank you, again, for your review. It was definitely a refreshing and much appreciated (and unexpected) sight to wake to. TCR On a side note and completely shameless plug of my beta’s writing, if you’re looking for a good polyamorous relationship told in writing (not to mention just good writing, too), you should checkout PlagueClover (formerly CloverReef)’s story Cold Snap.

Chapter 18 (Finding a Trail) is posted.

Chapter 16 (What’s the Plan?) is posted.

Chapter 18 (“...But I’ve Seen Him”) is posted.

So, a few days ago, a friend and I were talking about this sort of idea. The discussion for this thread, though, is more a case of how many OC characters do you like in your fan fiction before it gets turned off? In the case of the only fanfiction I have up here, which is that of a Star Trek Online, aside from a few ‘cameos’ here and there, the cast is entirely original characters. The conversation between us was a discussion about how a lot of people would be turned off by that sort of story, which I do accept and actually kind of agree with (strangely, considering...), but how many OC characters in a fanfiction turn you off? Would it turn you away from that particular story or does it even matter? Giving my thoughts on the matter as a writer, I don’t really like using canon characters because I, personally, feel forced into a tiny box to keep them in character. As a reader, if the canon characters in a fanfiction don’t feel particularly right (given deviations accounted for in regards to whatever the story is being told; ie, sexual stories, I can give leeway in canon characters being different than author portrayed (if this makes sense...). It’s a major reason why I didn’t include any in the main cast of characters for STA. That said, as a reader, I do understand why someone could, potentially, be turned away if there are no canonical characters. (I feel like I’m rambling, so my apologies.)