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Personally, I would not say that I hate Mary Sues, for the simple reason that I don't care enough about them to form hatred. Which is exactly the problem, in my opinion - they're boring and it's almost impossible to form some kind of connection with them as characters (beyond boredness, apathy, pity and, if the story itself could be good but the Sue ruins it, despise). Am I jealous of them? No. I have, on the internet, dealt with crowds that were near-worshipping me. Frankly speaking, it's annoying, frustrating and suffocating, not to mention creepy. I have absolutely no wish for such a thing to happen to me in real life. Internet is bad enough. I don't give a damn about looks, especially not "perfect" looks - perfect looks don't tell stories, as to say, in the way a scar, or wrinkles, etc. do - and I have no wish to have them. So no, I am not jealous. I don't want to be loved by 90% of the people around me because I'm "perfect" and hated by the remaining 10% out of "spite" and "jealousy". I don't want to run in and save the day because all people around me miraculously forget they're just as capable of solving problems. Basically, Mary Sue is just about everything I am not and have no wish to be. I agree that canon-Sues are worse than fanfic Sues. It makes me wonder how people got -that- published. What I detest even more, however, is when characters in canon morph into Sues through the series (Yes, Auel, I'm looking at Ayla here). I hate reading about a character I used to have a connection with become more and more like a character that could've come out of a six-year-old's first story. (Except for the humping-their-way-through-prehistoric-Europe part)

Actually. on reflection, Mary Sues in fanfic have their place (and hopefully a very short-lived one) before they start developing into interesting characters and other characters stop fawning... What is worse is the trend in paper publishing where the lead is the worst kind of Sue, such that she almost has to have gone down a checklist of Sue-traits to make a flat Sue. What actually sticks in the craw is the many many better fanfic novels that will never see paper print while Sues have gotten loose... eeek!

Chapter 4. Instinct Reset: Primera & Sexta & Octava, Oh My! I've included a link for the song set referenced in this chapter to my Youtube playlist if you want to listen. On 2013-3-14 FicticiousDelicious wrote: Of course the author can do whatever she wants with a character, but if it's doesn't seem appropriate, then it ruins the experience. Mmmn. With Grimm, I was thinking that because he's got such a macho exterior, that perhaps he's hiding a needy, and sometimes insecure facet. In the first instance, his whimper reflects his needing to fulfill his lust. Later, it's given in submission to his Alpha, and at the end, it's involuntary after his stupendous orgasm. It's one of those embarrassing, uncontrollable quirks a person has but tries to hide unless something (like an aphrodisiac hiding in the drug or fear from someone stronger) reveals it accidentally. I'm sure you can think of something you'd not want the public to see, but might sneak out if you're not vigilant. Mine is rocking. With no rocking chair! I do it when I'm alone (doin' right now!), but sometimes I'm at work, having my break alone and rocking while listening to music or something. Then, someone walks in and I instantly stop. I don't think anyone knows. Heh, heh. Yeah, he's not been a fully developed character in canon, because he's sleeps a lot and behaves so apathetically. However, I believe that once I explain the reason for his apparent lethargy, and remove it, I'll have a blank canvas to make him whatever I think he should be, given the backstory I'm crafting. Since the drug he was given is directly related to lifting the "curse of somnolency", you've witnessed what I think is underneath. We'll see if I'm consistent in future chapters. If not, poke me. *big grin* I just love how you question everything. Got me backed into a corner. No wait, I come out swinging, and ... yes! A right hook to the jaw. Okay, so Grimm was not under the influence of the drug when mouthing off to Tosen, but it wouldn't have mattered because when I (later) describe what the drug actually did, you'll see that who he defers to is important. His desire to overpower Starrk is not crushed by his acquiescence; he's just put in his place for now, but he still desires to be Top Dog. The drug is influencing him now, though, and well, I can't give away future details, but it's part of the "solid reason". Yes, I believe Grimmjow is thoughtful enough to consider leadership qualities. Have you seen what his options were so far? Delusional Aizen and/or his minions, ancient Baraggan, sleepy Starrk, and an androphobic Harribel. The new and improved Starrk is far and away the best choice for a leader. LOL! I think of Szayel as very flexible. Even though it hurts at first, he's very into the sensations and is able to turn it into pleasure. I just watched a guy (ahem -- research) that I thought embodied Szayel. Slender with long blond hair (I subbed in pink), big eyes and pouty lips. He had a feminine quality about him but was not a shemale and had a voracious appetite for c0ck, both orally and anally. I mean, no theatrics in pretending to like it, he enjoyed himself and you could tell by his stiff reaction, moaning and the colour in his cheeks. He was with two men, double stuffed, and was quite happy about it. And talented! Deep throat with no gagging. Mmmmn. Great inspiration derived from reality. Oooops! Did I share too much? Heh, heh. I can see that you're trying to point out a problem with the (technical?) sexual aspects of this encounter. It is my first (literary) threesome, so I wouldn't claim to be proficient, however, I'd like more specific critique. Email me with your thoughts, k? I'm not certain how to improve based on this response. TicLic, I just want to thank you for your thoughtful reviews, you always give me reasons to think and defend my position; that's very helpful in fleshing out my story. Also, thanks for defending this chapter's inclusion of music, demonstrating not only your courage in speaking your mind, but your compassion in aiding a friend. Mucho appreciation.

Give her more than what you see on the slick surface of cannon. Give her a background, a family, a pet, a diary. Dig into her soul, ask questions about her mind and quirks that require answers. Give her a personality. Perfect people don't have personalities. They have a shiny costume that people can't see beneath. Make her think. She's NOT good at everything. Find what she's mediocre at, find out what she simply can't do because of a lack of skill or practice or raw talent. Show her fears. Show why she's good at all of the things that Stan Lee says she's good at - did she practice every single night until 1 am until she got it right, were her parents nutjobs that grounded her for every B in superhero school, is she faking it and did Jane do that thing instead of her an she took the credit.... Find out her WHY. When you know her, inside and out, then you can write a real human being.